Why do losers get girls at all?

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klytus

Well-known member
Hey,

there have been countless threads on why bad boys get all the girls, and there certainly will be more in the near and distant future. Most people, including me - or my unenlightened past self -, posting there have done so, and many will do so, out of envy for those men who are naturally successful with women. However, it is trivial to see what the true allure of the "bad boy" is. Anyone willing to consider the matter realistically will quickly understand this.

Now, let's discuss something much more interesting. A more intriguing question is the following. Why do losers get girls at all?

A number of girls in my group have been romantically connected to men who don't seem to be successful, or powerful, or manly at all. In fact, truly timid men, and therefore truly unattractive men. Why would that be?

Discuss.
 
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davidburke

Well-known member
thats a good question i have no idea why. like why don't girls go for nerds they are more likely to be successful than the losers who just act like children all the time but i think this may change in the future
 
iamthenra

iamthenra

Well-known member
Because me being a loser and all, I deserve a chance too... Haha! LOL

Okay, I'm being silly... Sorry, I will wait in the shadows for an intelligent well thought out explanation for this phenomenon. Although I must say that this scenario isn't as frequent.... (resume lurking..)
 
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Emily_G

Well-known member
klytus said:
A number of girls in my group have been romantically connected to men who don't seem to be successful, or powerful, or manly at all. In fact, truly timid men, and therefore truly unattractive men. Why would that be?
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There's more to attraction than success, power, and manly-ness. My husband isn't successful or "powerful"...I'm not even sure what that means. I would classify him as "manly", he is the leader of the house (mostly my choice to be submissive), he would defend me at all costs, he works hard to provide for me and his unborn child. He is also very humble and tries to live a life pleasing to God. I classify those characteristics as "manly".
 
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klytus

Well-known member
There's more to attraction than success, power, and manly-ness.
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Not really. You only define success and manliness differently. Your husband is your hero. You love him for what he is. The fact that you know he would defend you at all costs is indicative of his being strong and assertive enough to ensure your security.

like why don't girls go for nerds they are more likely to be successful than the losers who just act like children all the time but i think this may change in the future
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This one might be simple to answer. Men who "act like children all the time" appear not to be dangerous, and women don't feel threatened by them in any way. Moreover, those men are more exciting, more "fun" than your average nerd. The special interests of a "nerd" are seldom shared by a girl. So, there is no easy way for a girl to associate herself with someone nerdy. A childish, or immature man is ofttimes very close to normality and therefore simple enough to approach and open up to.
 
Anubis

Anubis

Well-known member
I'd say it all depends on the psychological state of the girl. Some girls look outwardly normal, but have actually gone through certain events in their lives (whether it be up-bringing or trauma) that have caused them to lower their standards enough to accept a man with weak credentials.

OR a second possibility could be that the man you deem as a weak is actually strong in some attractive way that is completely irresistible to a few females. This can overshadow other weaknesses in the male (like having no job or not being physically powerful).

But yea, interesting question.
 
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Hoth

Hoth

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There are more women than men on this planet, so I guess any man who attempts to get girls (isn't avoidant) and isn't picky is pretty much bound to succeed. Of course, if he's a loser he probably gets loser girls... and if they aren't when he gets them, he turns them into losers.
 
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klytus

Well-known member
nerd guys tend to be ugly....problem solved
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Oh, it's not that easy. Physical attractiveness is certainly not the decisive factor.

I'd say it all depends on the psychological state of the girl. Some look outwardly normal, but they've gone through certain events in their lives (whether it be up-bringing or trauma) that they're able to lower their standards enough to accept a man with weak credentials.
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I suppose that this is the right direction. Although, it might not be about lowering standards, more about unconsciously choosing the doormat over the alpha-male, because of a need to dominate. A few women are sufficiently dominant to not be into being dominated. That rules the alpha-male out as the mate.

if I wanted a child I'd have a child, I don't want a child as a husband.
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You seldom think rationally in such a situation.
 
mrb

mrb

Well-known member
hey anyone can be a bad boy ......motor bike leather jacket , bit of weed in his back pocket , hey presto your a bad boy .......um not that i have a motor bike , or a leather jacket , or any weed ::p:
 
Remus

Remus

Moderator
Staff member
I think any kind of pity-party/negativity complex is a turn off to both sexes, a lack of self esteem is not appealing to others, lets face it, a potential suiter is looking to be you lover not your therapist
 
lyricalliaisons

lyricalliaisons

Well-known member
In my observation, most girls seem to go out with guys who are below them, for at least the first20-25 or so years of their lives. Then, eventually, some of them seem to wisen up & start dating decent people, while others continue dating a**holes. I think it goes back to their childhoods, truthfully.
 
Mikefly

Mikefly

Well-known member
Yeah have u ever thought that might be the only thing these "losers" are good at and even if it's not people have the same struggles as you , this thread is childish. Get your weight up kid.
 
lurknomore

lurknomore

1
I agree with Mikefly... what really defines a "loser," and can anyone truly be classified as one? Everyone is worthwhile in their own way, and it's great when other people recognize your worth despite the flaws. But you do generally need to have some belief in your own worth before others will see it. I think the fact that you're able to see someone you think of as a "loser" getting a girl (or guy) and complain (or even just scratch your head) about it is just a reflection of your own insecurities.
 
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userremoved

Guest
It could just be sex appeal and the illusion of confidence. Bad girls tend to get a lot the guys as well doing the same things. In the end it doesn't really matter since we've heard from others here that those relationships don't last.
 
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