Your thoughts when you don't get a reply

[Shoegazer]

So I recently became acquainted with one of my cousin's good friends.. (you can find the whole backstory here: http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/guys-how-do-you-break-the-ice-54823/)

We have talked a couple of times over the past week and everything seemed to go perfectly fine. We have been talking via facebook messages, and I intended on asking her out eventually tbh. I was just trying to talk to her a little while ago... and we exchanged the usual greetings and how are you. Then I attempted to just make small talk by asking about a new job she is going to be starting and... no reply.

Now, I'm not trying to make any fuss of this whole thing at the moment. I mean, we're new to each other and are just getting to know each other.. anything could come of it at this point. But I honestly deal with this all the time from all different people.. friends, family, it doesn't really matter.. a lot of people just flat out don't respond to me for what ever reason.

So, to anyone here that belongs to a social network... Do you ever get this??
How do you usually react when this sort of thing happens to you? And what do you think of people that having a problem responding to you??

 

[MikeyC]

Now, I'm not trying to make any fuss of this whole thing at the moment. I mean, we're new to each other and are just getting to know each other.. anything could come of it at this point. But I honestly deal with this all the time from all different people.. friends, family, it doesn't really matter.. a lot of people just flat out don't respond to me for what ever reason.

I don't want to turn the conversation on to me, but I am having the same trouble with people ignoring me. It's quite frustrating and depressing.

I don't really know how you can get through it. Has this only happened the one time? Or has it happened multiple times with her now? Just try not to let no replies bother you too much, because it doesn't automatically mean she doesn't want to chat to you.

 

[theoutsider]

I would wait a day or two, then send her another message on a totally different topic. I wouldn't bring up the fact that she didn't respond to my previous message. I think that would make you seem a little desperate for interaction. Don't sweat the fact that she didn't respond. She may have a very good, legitimate reason that says nothing bad about you.

 

[Lacombe]

^I agree with above. Don't get all angsty about it. Take it easy.

 

[Lou-s-Darkness]

Yeah I get that a lot. Some people don't reply to my messages like family and acquaintances. They either don't reply or some people even go offline the second i start an online conversation. It's very rude, and I don't understand why I am always being ignored.
The feeling it leaves is quite horrible...and depressing.

Maybe you just need to give her time. She might be very occupied or have another reason.

 

[Ithior]

Used to happen to me sometimes. Nowadays I don't chat on the internet much, at least not in a flirt kind of way.

Well, I sent a friend request to a girl I have a crush on (and it looked to me like she might have one on me as well), but she hasn't accepted it yet (2 days have already passed). I can find positive and negative explanations as to why she hasn't accepted it, but I think the most likely now is that she isn't interested and ignored the friend request. If that's the case it would be better for her to just reject it, so I can move on.


Not sure if this fits this thread but I don't like starting new threads.

 

[Steiner]

I get this face to face a lot lol. I'll be trying to talk to - /ignore /walkotherdirection ...:crying:

 

[Capsaicin]

It does make me nervous, but I realize I also do it sometimes if I get distracted or misplace messages.

 

[jaim38]

I am guilty of ignoring people especially when I feel very depressed. I've been bullied at my last school and there's this girl who tried to talk to me. I was horribly depressed, had low self esteem, and feel like the most hated person in school because in all my classes, there is at least 1 person who hates me. At first I talked to her but after I dropped out of that class due to bullying, I ignored her. When she said hi to me, I just pretended not to see or hear her. At one point, I even thought she was in league with my bullies, trying to test me out or something.

 

[NeverAlone]

It usually means not interested. If you send another message I can bet you'll get the same response, so it's not worth it. Yeahh and I hate it.

 

[theoutsider]

I get this face to face a lot lol. I'll be trying to talk to - /ignore /walkotherdirection ...:crying:


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Now this really burns me. I have this thing (lately) about people treating me like I'm invisible. The worse thing for me is when I ask them a question, they hear me, yet they don't answer. I always ask louder a second time and their reaction is usually a surprised, "Oh!" Like, "Were you expecting me to actually answer the question you were asking me?"

 

[jc972]

If it happens more often than not with a particular person I just write them off until they initiate conversation, then I get really smart and condescending just because I can and it makes me feel better about the situation. I know some will think it childish but that's what I do.

 

[NightTimeForever]

They probably think that I am a stupid weirdo, or something. I dunno, though.

 

[myheartisastone]

they hate me/they don't care

 

[gazelle]

If it's a face to face situation and you've asked them about something and they deliberately didn't reply, I'd find it rude and I'd probably think that there's more of a problem with them than me. Though sometimes, people can be busy and have the intention of replying an e-mail or text but forget about it, which in that case an apology is still required when they see you, but it's still completely understandable.
This can also sometimes happen in face to face situations like at work for example when poeple are focused on their work and don't realize you said something which is also ok.
But in short, if they do this deliberately, (and if you haven't bombarded them with messages or questions), I'd find it a bit rude and kind of a snobbish way of saying they're not interested.

 

[Zackarydoo]

It's something that happens to me a lot too OP, and it really drives me nuts. Something I have learned though is that it is best to just sit it out for a while. So many times, I've written again and been a bit pushy because they haven't replied. I always think the worst, but the majority of the time there is really good reason. Maybe they're having Internet problems, maybe they're away for a day and their phone battery died, maybe something bad happened in their family and the last thing they want is to write to someone, or so many other reasons too. It really is better to wait a few days first. Then write and ask if they're ok, but keep it nice and make sure it comes across as you caring about them rather than being bothered that they didn't write to you.

Some day I'll take my own advice....maybe.