God, too many to choose from! I'm in a three way tie between cowardice, ego and a lack of social confidence. Although procrastination and over-analysing are probably not far behind. I think social confidence and cowardice are kind of connected though. So maybe I could be kind and blame my cowardice on my social difficulties, and presume I'd be braver, were I wired different socially. Though it could easily be the other way around. Maybe I never reached the social heights of others because I wasn't as brave as them.
But then there's also my ego, which might seem like a strange thing to have, when I have such little esteem in so many area's of my life, namely relationally. But I think it's probably connected aswell, precisely because I have such low self esteem in certain area's, I think I can get overly confident and smug whenever there's an area where I feel a glimmer of expertise and I can easily switch into "know-it-all" mode. I'm like the equivalent of the guy who drives a Ferrari cause he's got a tiny c**k! Trying to over compensate in one area for my insecurities and failings in another.
But perhaps I wouldn't feel the need to over compensate, if I had the balls to face my problems to begin with, which again, brings me back to cowardice. So if I had to pick one, I think it's gonna have to be that. One thing's for sure, cowardice is the charge that stings the deepest when I reflect upon it, so that's probably a clue that it's my worst quality.
