x

Darryl

Well-known member
My wife in no uncertain terms reminded me that she doesn't love me.

I alway had hope with my improvement, she may have seen the person she once fell in love with.
 

mmmm

Well-known member
I'm so very sorry to hear that. Well done for your improvement. Please, please don't let this set you back. All your improvements must be for YOU, not to impress someone.
 

gazelle

Well-known member
I feel for you...About 5 years ago I went through a very difficult emotional breakdown for putting too much investment on a very wrong relationship....it was very hard and it took me almost 2 years to completely get over it...but when I got over it my self esteem levels rose much higher than the time I was actually with him and he was cheating on me.If you're sure that she doesn't have for love you ,don't let this wrong relationship hurt you anymore.
 

coyote

Well-known member
Darryl, I'm sorry hear to hear your news.

I went through the same situation with my ex wife - no matter what I did to try to change or improve myself, I could never win her back.

I have gradually come to realize that maybe it wasn't all because of MY issues.

Maybe alot of it had to do with HER problems.

and that's something I can never fix.
 

Darryl

Well-known member
I'm so very sorry to hear that. Well done for your improvement. Please, please don't let this set you back. All your improvements must be for YOU, not to impress someone.
Hi mmmm,

I had the belief that any future with my wife I had to"sort myself out".

With Avoidance you look for approval from certain people so yes, originally it was to have a second chance.

I soon realized that any long term progress can only be accomplished on my own. (not to think she's having a bad day and get dragged down, etc all the typical avoidance traits)

I finally feel that I'm an adult with a future, just not with the one I love.
This is like winning truck loads of cash and having no one to spend it on.
 

Darryl

Well-known member
Darryl, I'm sorry hear to hear your news.

I went through the same situation with my ex wife - no matter what I did to try to change or improve myself, I could never win her back.

I have gradually come to realize that maybe it wasn't all because of MY issues.

Maybe alot of it had to do with HER problems.

and that's something I can never fix.
Mate, she was pretty normal until I met her.
The avoidance in me killed our relationship.
 

Darryl

Well-known member
I feel for you...About 5 years ago I went through a very difficult emotional breakdown for putting too much investment on a very wrong relationship....it was very hard and it took me almost 2 years to completely get over it...but when I got over it my self esteem levels rose much higher than the time I was actually with him and he was cheating on me.If you're sure that she doesn't have for love you ,don't let this wrong relationship hurt you anymore.
Hi Gazelle,

I always felt if I'm able to "sort myself out" I would have more to give than an everyday person, seems like I'm too late.
 

Darryl

Well-known member
All the forward energy I once had has dried up.

I still have the knowledge of what it takes, but I what to follows this path of misery and try to grieve.

Cant grieve until I let this wall of anger, sadness and confusion go.

Typically avoidance has me believe theres a chance and when I see my wife- reality sets in.

"Hopes" a bastard sometimes!
 
Top