worthless

[chibiXphantom]

so i was rudely awakened at 6 this morning being told I had to go to a list of places and apply for a job (some of which i already have).
my stepdad ranted for a while about how i've been sitting around being useless, not trying to get a job (totally untrue). that i need to earn my keep and my worth by getting a job or being forced to volunteer at places.
so basically he's saying im worthless unless i get a job.

worthless... like the millions of unemployed people in the US...?

 

[Starry]

I can only guess that your step-father has very little self-worth... Worth as a person does not come from having a job/the sort of job you have, nor from what you own, how you look, or where you live... Worth comes from within - from being caring, just and true... Deep down, I think everybody is aware of this... It's usually the people who have no worth in the ways that matter that try to attain "worth" through a job or money or possessions... Well, those and people who have been bullied into believing that those things matter. The world is a messed up place, too many people try to attain self-worth through the wrong routes, it's no wonder that so many people are unhappy...

 

[Xervello]

Yeah, he sounds like a d*ck. Despite him completely misunderstanding who you are perhaps it'll be beneficial to have someone give you a kick in the azz now and then. Or maybe I'm projecting. I had a lot of enablers for my SA. Would've been nice to have been jarred out of my comfort zone.

 

[bcsr]

Yeah, he sounds like a d*ck. Despite him completely misunderstanding who you are perhaps it'll be beneficial to have someone give you a kick in the azz now and then. Or maybe I'm projecting. I had a lot of enablers for my SA. Would've been nice to have been jarred out of my comfort zone.

I agree with this. At least for me, it was a good thing. My dad went off on me once after I dropped out of college for the 2nd time. I know it was out of frustration, and not meanness. He was scared that I would not be able to support myself, knowing he and my mother won't be around forever.

Sometimes it's just too easy to live at home with all your needs met, and there's no incentive to go out on your own. A little kick in the ass from my father did more for me than two years of medication and therapy ever did.

Now I don't know your situation in detail, so please don't take offense.

 

[Foxface]

You're not worthless. I don't think you're worthless. Maybe he just dosen't understand. I don't know, since I don't know him. I know you're not worthless.

Stay strong! You got the music in you!

 

[Srijita52]

I can only guess that your step-father has very little self-worth... Worth as a person does not come from having a job/the sort of job you have, nor from what you own, how you look, or where you live... Worth comes from within - from being caring, just and true... Deep down, I think everybody is aware of this... It's usually the people who have no worth in the ways that matter that try to attain "worth" through a job or money or possessions... Well, those and people who have been bullied into believing that those things matter. The world is a messed up place, too many people try to attain self-worth through the wrong routes, it's no wonder that so many people are unhappy...

I agree with this. I'm sorry he said that, don't let it get to you. You're not worthless.

 

[Lea]

Well I don´t see it as necessarily bad thing, we need a bit kick in the ass sometimes. Although he might not understand that your´re really trying. Maybe you could ask him to support you in the search. He shouldn´t only shout at you but if he wants you to find a job, he should be helping constructively, listen to what you want to do and what not, if you don´t want to do something for some reason, he shouldn´t push you into it and suggest alternatives etc.

If he said you´re worthless because of not having a job, I don´t think he meant it literally - in the philosophical sense.

 

[market.garden]

You're not worthless, and I know how hard it can be in that situation. I went through the same until recently, but your work, or lack of it doesn't define you as a person, and certainly doesn't define your worth.

 

[R3K]

if i had a stepdad who woke me up at 6am and started ranting at me saying i was worthless, he'd be met with knuckles and swift kicks.

tell him to help you find a job by picking up applications and helping you drop them off after you fill them out, or to talk to his friends who could hook you up somewhere.

 

[Etbow23]

my exstepdad used to say I was useless if I was doing nothing and not cleaning or working or slaving around doing something stupid. All stepdads suck.

 

[Silatuyok]

It sounds to me like he's concerned for you and is showing it in not such a great way.

 

[Bustn Justin]

how does name calling turn things around? Being called worthlesss all the time makes you believe it and do worse.

What he needs to do is be supportive and encourage you to look for a job. He should help with the search and give you confidence that you are able to gain employment.

 

[Etbow23]

It sounds to me like he's concerned for you and is showing it in not such a great way.

True ...but I never believe that emotional abuse should have an excuse. And calling someone useless is emotionally abusive. He may care (or maybe not), but there's never a reason to call your stepchild that.

 

[satstrn]

I think you probably agree with part of what he said, you just gotta ignore his attitude and keep trying to do the things you want to do. You should try some volunteering, I go to my local food bank and animal rescue and I get a lot out of it. Being able to support yourself at least somewhat is a biggie though, without it we're left to dwell and worry about our problems. Your'e not any more worthless than anyone else, but I think you should strive to contribute something in some way. Even if you can't get a job, volunteering is free.

 

[recluse]

You are not worthless, there are millions of people unemployed we are living in hard times. Your stepdad is being way too harsh.

 

[Solitudes_Grace]

It is very difficult finding a job these days. I'm not sure if your stepdad understands that.