will I ever get laid?

[PugofCrydee]

Ok, name calling is just immature. this is a non abusive forum, so lets keep the kindergarten stuff out of it.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and if you ask questions on a public forum you surely can't expect to like every ones answers/opinions.

I'm an "older guy" and I am still having some good success with good looking women. I would even say some of those women, even you would like some of their attention. So tell me again why I shouldn't even bother at this age?

 

[Catalyst]

Ok, name calling is just immature. this is a non abusive forum, so lets keep the kindergarten stuff out of it.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and if you ask questions on a public forum you surely can't expect to like every ones answers/opinions.

I'm an "older guy" and I am still having some good success with good looking women. I would even say some of those women, even you would like some of their attention. So tell me again why I shouldn't even bother at this age?

hey man, he started with the immature personal attacks. I just responded in kind. Seems like a somewhat abusive forum for me with some of the comments I'm getting.

Congratulations. I never said you shouldn't bother at your age. Why did you internalize something that wasn't even directed at you?

 

[kihira]

lolz. oh look... it's another guy who thinks he has it all figured out just because he's older. Your arrogance is amusing.

I do know how reality works and have a great understanding of the world... probably even better than you do. Moron. That's part of why I'm depressed. I know that girls want a guy who can entertain them and flirt and all that other crap. I know that dating/relationships are all about that. I've done the whole circus act before... made girls laugh, entertained them, made myself seem interesting. But what happens when you can't keep it going? What happens when you're struggling with issues and going through your darkest moments? They abandon you and move on to someone they deem better. Hypergamous instincts I guess. Don't kid yourself, many women are vapid, shallow creatures. I understand the game, but I hate it and that's why I see little point in participating. I just want sex.

And I know how to have fun when I'm at my best. When I was a kid, I was the most wild, fun person out of my peers. They probably thought I had ADD or something because I would always go the extra mile and do something more extreme to get a thrill. I find most people to be ****ing boring tbh. But do you really think I outwardly show my negativity and depression to women? You must be autistic. I keep it all inside dude, just like most normal people. Please don't assume things. You don't know me. You think you can walk all over me just because I'm depressed? It's not gonna work buddy.

My advice for you is: go to a mirror, look in it, and tell yourself over and over that you don't have all the answers, you don't really understand the world you're living in, and that you desperately need to grow up.

You should probably read these before posting anything else
http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/site-rules-26660/

 

[GraybeardGhost]

Catalyst, if you try to approach women the way you've responded to every post in this thread (i.e., with a closed mind and a chip on your shoulder), then no, you will never get laid. You refuse to accept or even consider the advice you've been given—much of it very good—by older and far more experienced members, and instead lash out at the people who are trying to help you. You're not doing yourself any favors here. :no:

If you really want help, if you really want to improve your chances with the opposite sex, you're going to have to open your mind and lose the attitude, both with the members of this forum and with the ladies you wish to be with. Otherwise, your time would be much better spent with a tube sock and a dirty movie because that's all you're going to get.

 

[TheNomad]

Catalyst, you don't seem like you figured out much actually. All I see from your posts (yeah I don't know you apart from that) is you see the dark in all things and think you see reality wisely. You think pessimism and depressive thoughts mean realism? Maybe 15 years of depression makes someone think like that, but obviously it doesn't make someone wiser.

 

[Catalyst]

Catalyst, if you try to approach women the way you've responded to every post in this thread (i.e., with a closed mind and a chip on your shoulder), then no, you will never get laid. You refuse to accept or even consider the advice you've been given—much of it very good—by older and far more experienced members, and instead lash out at the people who are trying to help you. You're not doing yourself any favors here. :no:

If you really want help, if you really want to improve your chances with the opposite sex, you're going to have to open your mind and lose the attitude, both with the members of this forum and with the ladies you wish to be with. Otherwise, your time would be much better spent with a tube sock and a dirty movie, because, brother, that's all you're going to get.

I obviously don't approach women with any attitude. I'm polite and act indifferent to them. This is how I respond to people trying to attack me. Telling me I don't know anything, blaming me for my problems, saying I'm choosing to feel this way, and implying that things won't get better for me isn't helpful in any way. Older and far more experienced with what? Being a bunch of simps? Being cool on the internet? LOL. What makes their experience more valuable than mine? I'd wager I've been through more shit than half the people on this forum in my short life.

How many times do I have to say it? I don't like the dating/relationship game. It's shallow as ****. I don't want to work to impress some girl. I don't like the idea of having her or someone else determine my worth and letting them dictate who I am. You guys think you're in control, but in reality, you're all being played. The game is rigged. And I've known guys with awful, abusive personalities who get tons of action.

Also, I'm not lashing out on the people who are actually trying to help and give advice without attacking me. I appreciate their input even if I disagree with it. But see, I don't typically respond nicely to people who go on the offensive like yourself.

 

[Catalyst]

Catalyst, you don't seem like you figured out much actually. All I see from your posts (yeah I don't know you apart from that) is you see the dark in all things and think you see reality wisely. You think pessimism and depressive thoughts mean realism? Maybe 15 years of depression makes someone think like that, but obviously it doesn't make someone wiser.

Haters gonna hate.

Depression definitely makes you wise in ways most others aren't. Even mental health professionals agree on that. I am capable of seeing the light in some things, but most "positivity" is just fluff. People constantly tell themselves lies to cope with their pathetic lives. I can't do that.

 

[Catalyst]

You should probably read these before posting anything else
http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/site-rules-26660/

Well he kind of attacked me first. If you hit someone, expect to be hit back. Besides, he's a been a member here much longer than myself. He should know better. You guys act all innocent, but there have been so many passive-aggressive remarks made toward me in this thread it's not even funny. If I seem like a bad guy, it's only because I'm blunt and direct when defending myself. I don't take cheap shots and gang up on people like the rest of you.

 

[Kiwong]

I entertain both men and women. As I was running yesterday a woman said "He's built like a toothpick" and her partner laughed.

I remember all those years ago some girls saying I was too polite. It was because of my nervousness. The trick is to become more relaxed talking to people, and I suppose that comes with practice. Unfortunately, that is not a skill I ever mastered, but as I've got older all that worry about the romantic stakes no longer bothers me as much.

I get lost in other things like running, photography and writing.

 

[Megaten]

I entertain both men and women. As I was running yesterday a woman said "He's built like a toothpick" and her partner laughed.

I remember all those years ago some girls saying I was too polite. It was because of my nervousness. The trick is to become more relaxed talking to people, and I suppose that comes with practice. Unfortunately, that is not a skill I ever mastered, but as I've got older all that worry about the romantic stakes no longer bothers me as much.

I get lost in other things like running, photography and writing.

Oh yeah, confident socializing in my opinion is one of the most valuable skills a person can learn. The Dean at my school went from being poor in a 3rd world country to living in a mansion. But hes one of those guys that just talking to him puts a smile on your face. He can talk money right out of people's wallets lol. It also makes a person appear more physically attractive. I also went to school with a guy like that that managed to get thousands to fund his education, just by asking for it on Facebook. But ive talked to him and hes the type of guy that makes you feel like youre his buddy after 5 mins of conversation. Its like sorcery. :question:

 

[Catalyst]

I entertain both men and women. As I was running yesterday a woman said "He's built like a toothpick" and her partner laughed.

I remember all those years ago some girls saying I was too polite. It was because of my nervousness. The trick is to become more relaxed talking to people, and I suppose that comes with practice. Unfortunately, that is not a skill I ever mastered, but as I've got older all that worry about the romantic stakes no longer bothers me as much.

I get lost in other things like running, photography and writing.

yeah, I've heard others say similar things. I really hope that this is just a phase and I eventually stop caring about it so much. I mean, it never used to be a big deal. Perhaps it's a hormone thing. Right now I'm trying to look at developing my hobbies (music, art, working out). It's just my anxiety is so bad. I've been wanting to learn how to play piano and do digital art forever.

 

[Megaten]

yeah, I've heard others say similar things. I really hope that this is just a phase and I eventually stop caring about it so much. I mean, it never used to be a big deal. Perhaps it's a hormone thing. Right now I'm trying to look at developing my hobbies (music, art, working out). It's just my anxiety is so bad. I've been wanting to learn how to play piano and do digital art forever.

Yeah hormones and the fact that you were just on a college campus. Cause you know testosterone fuels aggression along with sex drive. Not that I dont still feel that drive anymore at 33, but I dont feel like Im gonna turn into the Hulk at any moment like at 23 lol.

 

[PugofCrydee]

How many times do I have to say it? I don't like the dating/relationship game. It's shallow as ****. I don't want to work to impress some girl.

you might want to re-evaluate the 'dating game'.

It's just a chance to break the ice and get to know a chick before you get a little more involved with her. Nothing else. It's a chance to see if you can pick up on any red flags. Such as.. she might be bat shit crazy. Obsessive etc.

I certainly do not go trying to 'impress' a girl. They either take me as I am or we go our separate ways. But at the same time, if you are interested in a girl, you need to make SOME effort to show your interest. It makes her feel good.

If you hope to get laid/lose your virginity, then you (as far as I see it) have 2 options;
1) be nice to women (yes, that may be considered playing the dating game)

or 2) get a hooker or hook up on tinder etc.

If you only are interested in the sexual act, then personally, I'd go with the 2nd option and save any potential dates the time, hassle and potential embarrassment for both parties.

 

[Moses199]

From what i'm reading you sound like you wan't to just want to experience some sex (am i right or wrong?), and skip the whole attraction building stuff. If your looking for that then hire an escort but make sure to be safe.

I'm in a similair situation as you and i have high intamcy and sex drive, so what i'm doing now is going out everyday and talking to female strangers to desensitize my talk anxiety.
Here's my thread: http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/exposure-for-talking-has-been-working-for-me-61821/

 

[Bronson99]

This only works if you are a really hot guy, and the girl you would be hooking up with would be average looking/ugly.

Alright, so then do you think he has a better chance with talking to/meeting women in real life? You just said that, but offer no alternative

 

[Catalyst]

From what i'm reading you sound like you wan't to just want to experience some sex (am i right or wrong?), and skip the whole attraction building stuff. If your looking for that then hire an escort but make sure to be safe.

I'm in a similair situation as you and i have high intamcy and sex drive, so what i'm doing now is going out everyday and talking to female strangers to desensitize my talk anxiety.
Here's my thread: http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/exposure-for-talking-has-been-working-for-me-61821/

yup. I couldn't care less about getting to know a girl or making her feel good. Because I know most women would reject me once they got to know about me and my problems. That's the thing I resent most about the dating game... how girls reject you if you aren't psychologically perfect, even if they're bat shit crazy themselves. It doesn't get much more shallow than that. I could never measure up to their ridiculous standards and expectations. It would take far too much time and effort. I would love to be in a relationship with a girl who had empathy for me, but I think those types are close to non-existent these days.

So yeah, I really just want sex and physical intimacy at this point. I don't know if I have much longer to live. Lately I've had this strange feeling that time is closing in on me. Why put myself through all that just to experience the pain of rejection? I would like to hire an escort but don't know enough about how to go about it yet. Plus, I'd still have to work on quite a few things before I would be ready. If you know anything, maybe you could send me a PM?

 

[Bronson99]

you might want to re-evaluate the 'dating game'.

It's just a chance to break the ice and get to know a chick before you get a little more involved with her. Nothing else. It's a chance to see if you can pick up on any red flags. Such as.. she might be bat shit crazy. Obsessive etc.

I certainly do not go trying to 'impress' a girl. They either take me as I am or we go our separate ways. But at the same time, if you are interested in a girl, you need to make SOME effort to show your interest. It makes her feel good.

If you hope to get laid/lose your virginity, then you (as far as I see it) have 2 options;
1) be nice to women (yes, that may be considered playing the dating game)

or 2) get a hooker or hook up on tinder etc.

If you only are interested in the sexual act, then personally, I'd go with the 2nd option and save any potential dates the time, hassle and potential embarrassment for both parties.

I don't think it necessarily has to be a "months long" attraction building phase, though, with him getting interrogated over his career prospects, his life goals, or whatever. AFAIK, it's not like that anymore.. things can go a lot quicker, and you don't have to be committed (so long as they're fine with that, of course.. at some point, you have to be up front with intentions.)

I think the key with intimacy (physical or emotional) is to find someone you have a little chemistry with.. *some* kind of connection, and hope they find you attractive (and vice versa.)

 

[Bronson99]

yup. I couldn't care less about getting to know a girl or making her feel good. Because I know most women would reject me once they got to know about me and my problems. That's the thing I resent most about the dating game... how girls reject you if you aren't psychologically perfect, even if they're bat shit crazy themselves. It doesn't get much more shallow than that. I could never measure up to their ridiculous standards and expectations. It would take far too much time and effort. I would love to be in a relationship with a girl who had empathy for me, but I think those types are close to non-existent these days.

Again, black and white thinking. There have been *homeless* guys who have learned to pick up women.

Stop the black and white thinking.. that's one of the greatest causes of your problem right now.

 

[Catalyst]

Again, black and white thinking. There have been *homeless* guys who have learned to pick up women.

Stop the black and white thinking.. that's one of the greatest causes of your problem right now.

I'm not sure how that's black and white thinking. Care to elaborate?

And I've never heard of homeless guys picking up women. Unless you mean crazy homeless guys who physically pick them up before the police are called, lol. Nah, if that's really a thing, I feel even more pathetic.

 

[Odo]

lolz. oh look... it's another guy who thinks he has it all figured out just because he's older. Your arrogance is amusing.

I'm telling you this because I'm a 30+ year old in a relationship with a woman 10 years younger than I am and you're sitting at home alone every night hating women and yearning for sex.

But whatever-- enjoy knowing all the answers and wishing that everyone was good enough for you... I'm sure it will make your dreams come true in the end.

At least your mom will always tell you you're special and tend to your emotional needs.