Why is it easier for women?

[Ashiene]

It's all a matter of evolutionary reproduction strategy.

It has always been that men tend to go for women with good looks, because, good looks indicates good health, fertility, and this helps to create offspring which are more likely to be normal and healthy.

However, men also go for women who have more personality than looks, because a good personality in a woman means that she will be more devoted to taking care of her children and dedicating more time to them than to herself.

But women usually go for personality/status in a man rather than looks, since a good personality and a good status would mean that the man can better afford to take care of the woman, and a good physique counts too, because healthy and strong men would be able to protect the woman and her children more effectively than a weak and fragile man.

Woman can also go for looks over personality/status, because good looks, like I mentioned earlier, denotes good health and good health = higher chance of healthy offspring.

It's been like this since the beginning of humankind.

 

[Skatergirl]

Guys are chasing after girls... i think that is the reason
and girls have more on their wish list if u know what i mean
guys are happy with a pretty girl... from the outside.. and inside ( i guess , sorry if i'm wrong XD)
but girls want that kind of personality, that kind of look, or spontanious, or serious type,
or whatever kinda type XD , they are looking for more ''things'' , and i think especially from the inside

 

[myfeba]

Hi Im new here. I dont think its easy for any of the sexes to find a good mate. One night stands dont count, neither is drunk dating. I dont know to be honest, thats why Im here, trying to figure out why my dick goes limp during intercourse.....

 

[Unregistered764]

I hate it when people say it's so easy for women to get guys.. I'm 22, been told I'm pretty (& not just from friends/family), but I've never had a boyfriend.. never had anyone interested in me, to my knowledge. Heck, I haven't even had a guy friend.. I must have a hell of a shitty personality!!!

 

[WorldEndsWithMe]

Why is it assumed that it's easier for women to get men, than for men to get a women?
And if it is in fact easier for women to get men, than for men to get women.. Why is that?
(Side Note: If women are getting men.. Then clearly men must be getting women.. But let's discuss this..)
What are your thoughts? lol

Well if you want a scientific explaination (lol)... when studying mammals (like primates) the limiting resource for males is females. The limiting resource for females is food/resources. Not that I'm trying to extrapolate primate behaviour to humans or anthropomorphize primates, because we are seperate species and humans are more complex, but on the surface level it makes sense right?
A female can go out and she will really have no trouble obtaining a male. She will find someone to sleep with her. If a girl dresses up nice and goes out looking for a "good time" I doubt she'll have a hard time finding a lot of refusing parties.
A male has to compete with other guys (I believe the term "cock-blocking" should come to mind) and be subjected to female choice. Girls can afford to be a bit more choosey with guys since they don't have as hard a time obtaining men than vice-versa.
Kind in mind that a lot of these impulses are subconcious, although obviously concious female choice did develop in people. And that just because the limiting resource for males is females that males are more interested in sex. Females mammals are just as vivacious. Female humans used to be expected to act coy and innocent, otherwise they were a slut.

Psychology studies have shown that when men consider partners they look at things like looks and age. Females look at things like resources. Kind of similar to our primate ancestors no? (Whether or not you believe these studies held a gender bias is a different story). I mean it's probably why females get the label "gold-digger" because of the unconcious (or concious) desire for resources, whereas males get the label of pervert/pig etc. because they have the unconcious (or concious) desire to mate.

Of course now that females are in the workforce and earning money and buying their own stuff and the old "good girls don't do bad things" mentality is dying, we're seeing these old roles break down. We got male golddiggers now and females on the sexual prowl.

I really do wish it was easier for guys to get girls though! I feel bad for guys, because being rejected hurts. Best of luck to all you dudes out there.

 

[lyricalliaisons]

I think it's because, even in this day & age, guys are the ones who are expected to do the asking out & women are expecting to do the accepting. So, if a guy has SA, he would have to put himself on the spot & somehow gain the courage to ask someone out. But if you're a female with SA, you're probably going to be the one getting asked out & accepting is much easier than asking.

I think things should be equal by this point in time & men & women should equally be responsible for asking someone out, but it's still not that way & a lot of guys with SA are single, only because females don't ask them out, but are waiting for them to take the initiative. Since their SA could make it too hard for them to do that, they end up not going through with it & remaining single.

 

[lyricalliaisons]

I think women do have to be just pretty and men will fawn over them,(That is why some are so quick to dismiss a man approaching them, it happens to them very often and they are desensitized to the whole process) but if they are very shy, it could make the man think she was a snob, had "issues", or that she was not interested in him.
If a women had S.A, being approached would no doubt escalate her anxiety.

Also people have said that men are more superficial then women, this is true in the looks department, but many women seem to have very high standards.
Read the personals ads, see what some women demand in a man and you will probably be crest-fallen.

However, unattractive or obese women seem to often be ignored by men, so you could not say women have it easier in that department either.

There is no way to say who has it easier or harder, it depends on the individual.

I would disagree with that only because I know a lot of very unattractive women (I know that's mean to say, but it's true) who are in relationships, mostly with guys more attractive than they are. A female doesn't even have to be attractive for a guy to ask her out. I know that seems to be the case, but it's really not.

I'm not unattractive, but I do have extreme SA, which is very apparent to any one. Though they think I'm just very shy, or maybe a snob even, but guys still ask me out, knowing those things. Honestly, I think that for guys who don't have SA, they don't really care who they ask out, whether the person seems "shy" or anything else.

 

[iamthenra]

I think it's because, even in this day & age, guys are the ones who are expected to do the asking out & women are expecting to do the accepting. So, if a guy has SA, he would have to put himself on the spot & somehow gain the courage to ask someone out. But if you're a female with SA, you're probably going to be the one getting asked out & accepting is much easier than asking.

I think things should be equal by this point in time & men & women should equally be responsible for asking someone out, but it's still not that way & a lot of guys with SA are single, only because females don't ask them out, but are waiting for them to take the initiative. Since their SA could make it too hard for them to do that, they end up not going through with it & remaining single.

Thank you!!!!! You've explained me 100%... That is why I am still single, and believe me I do obsess over the female anatomy. I say this because there is great desire both sexually and the desire to be with someone to rid me of being lonely... I am sure that there are many others up here suffering the same fate as I am... I can't begin to say how much pain it causes someone to be alone and strongly desire a companion... I thought in my 20's I would have found someone, then the 30's came and went, and now I am in my 40's??? Good grief, time is running out if it hasn't already....

 

[Day_Tripper]

Cause, most guys will still gravitate towards shy girls if they're good looking enough. The majority of girls gravitate towards guys they see as "leaders". That's a simplification, I know, but I wouldn't be saying it if I didn't see it happening all around me.

 

[lurknomore]

I would disagree with that only because I know a lot of very unattractive women (I know that's mean to say, but it's true) who are in relationships, mostly with guys more attractive than they are. A female doesn't even have to be attractive for a guy to ask her out. I know that seems to be the case, but it's really not.

I'm not unattractive, but I do have extreme SA, which is very apparent to any one. Though they think I'm just very shy, or maybe a snob even, but guys still ask me out, knowing those things. Honestly, I think that for guys who don't have SA, they don't really care who they ask out, whether the person seems "shy" or anything else.

My SA isn't that extreme, and I don't think I'm unattractive- just average- and I never get asked out. But maybe there are other factors besides just my degree of SA and my relative attractiveness. *shrugs*

 

[Nack]

I see why it could be easier for women than men. Guys will try to talk to me even if my behavior isn't friendly or social. Thing is...I'm not interested in meeting guys for sex or romance so I try not to encourage guys that do try to chat me up by being talkative. So they will normally think that I'm stuck up and leave me alone.There are only a few guys who keep trying, but even those guys lose interest after a while.
Even if I were single and looking, I know that I could either make things easier or more difficult for myself through my behavior. I wouldn't have a problem finding a guy if I were single. The only problem would be finding the right guy.

The "right" guy is in your mind. Lower your standards and go for one that is decent :\

 

[Nack]

Oh, I already have found the "right" guy. I'm married to him. :: If I found him then I'm certain that I could do just as good were I single again. When I say "right guy" I don't mean that the man has to be perfect. No one is perfect. Neither I nor my husband are. Besides, I've lowered my standards before and it got me nowhere. I'm not about to go for a guy who's an idiot or full of **** just to be nice or just for the sake of giving someone a chance. My needs are just as important as everyonen else's.

Well, don't I feel like an idiot. And yes please don't pity us men, I hate it when girls pity me.

 

[Brokenx]

Women don't have to do anything. Just look pretty and be willing.

OMG that is just so far off the mark

What woman go through;
[1] Periods: A man cannot even begin to understand the pain.
[2] Insecurities: Because men have made us feel this.
[3] Self consciousness: Same reason as above.
[4] Rejection: Also same as above.

Being a woman is so hard, men have it so easy.
A man has to brush his hair and he is done, a woman has to blow-dry, straighten, wear makeup ect ect..

 

[Brokenx]

I wouldn't like to get on the wrong side of you!

wise words

loool

 

[Day_Tripper]

OMG that is just so far off the mark

What woman go through;
[1] Periods: A man cannot even begin to understand the pain.
[2] Insecurities: Because men have made us feel this.
[3] Self consciousness: Same reason as above.
[4] Rejection: Also same as above.

Being a woman is so hard, men have it so easy.
A man has to brush his hair and he is done, a woman has to blow-dry, straighten, wear makeup ect ect..

2 and 3 sound the same to me, and guys can go through an equal amount of rejection. You do have periods and caring about looks on us though.

 

[mrb]

girls , blokes were all the same just diff bumps in diff places , it all depends on the person not there gender ...

 

[Felgen]

OMG that is just so far off the mark

What woman go through;
[1] Periods: A man cannot even begin to understand the pain.
[2] Insecurities: Because men have made us feel this.
[3] Self consciousness: Same reason as above.
[4] Rejection: Also same as above.

Being a woman is so hard, men have it so easy.
A man has to brush his hair and he is done, a woman has to blow-dry, straighten, wear makeup ect ect..

Men have to make the approach, be confident, be good looking and have a good job. Sure, there are fat, ugly men with beautifull women, but that's because they have great social skills. Even mediocre (or even ugly) women are approached many times in bars, nightclubs and so on. Just my two cents in this pissing contest...

 

[persona]

Deleted...

 

[Felgen]

As for the actual question, it works both ways. Guys "have to" make the first move. But this limits both sexes because a woman who pursues guys with out shame gets easily labeled as promiscuous.

There's nothing wrong with promiscuous women. If a guy is allowed to be promiscuous a girl should be allowed to be so as well. Promiscuous girls aren't looked down upon in Norway, but it's still the guy who makes the first move and pursues the girl.

Also, women just waiting and being pretty while princes keep offering them rides on a white horse - it's not realistic for most girls. Sure, if you look like a model men will give you attention no matter how shy or even jerk you are. But most girls don't fit the crazy modern beauty ideals.

Most people (regardless of gender) doesn't look like models. Many of the sex symbols today have had plastic surgery and pay professionals to cover up any "flaws" with either Photoshop or make-up. This can also be said about male model.

I could sit at bar smiling stupid whole night, only people who would notice me would be dirty old men (we are talking the age of my dad here) who only want that one thing.

I can understand if you find that creepy (I know I would). There is nothing wrong with women making the first move, though...

And when a girl is ugly? It's over. If a guy is ugly he can try to be more charming or confident or funny. Or he even might try to make his chances better by getting money/status. You see it all the time. Ugly old men with pretty gold digge-, I mean girlfriends. Of course not every man wants this (err... yeah right, why would they wanna be Hugh Hefner? )

This is only true if the ugly guy comes from a rich family and is a major shareholder of an international conglomerate. If this is the case, then one can look like Kim Jong-il or Woody Allen and still date supermodels. It's like this because many of the major scientists, shareholders and so on are men. However, for the average Joe who can't afford a Rolls Royce and a yatch, good looks are important (and so is confidence, posture et cetera).

Women having great personality doesn't really matter. It's like with some girls who take the jerk because he has nice car. Men do it even more, they take the drama queen because she has nice body.

There are several unattractive women that are in successfull relationships. Of course there are some who are very ugly who despite a good personality never will be, but that's also true for men.

 

[Chiaroscuro]

Obviously:
It's easier for attractive women than unattractive women.
It's easier for attractive men than unattractive men.
It's easier for attractive women than unattractive men.
It's easier for attractive men than unattractive women.
Less obviously:
It's easier for unattractive men than unattractive women.
It's easier for attractive women than it is for attractive men.

By 'easier' I mean in terms of potential to achieve. I don't mean the effort required. e.g it might be bloody hard work for an unattractive guy to attract an attractive female but eminently possible (for most attractive women - not all). Where as an unattractive woman has little or no chance of attracting 'most but not all' attractive men. Because, most men are leaning towards looks, and most women are leaning towards personality in order of importance. (I realize that what is attractive is subjective so when I say the term I refer to the standard deviation of 'attractive'. If 5% find you wildly attractive but 95% find you hideously ugly then you would rate as unattractive. By attractive I don't mean in some metaphysical sense - just mean in the eyes of the opposite sex. So an alien with the reputation of Brad Pitt back home, might rate as unattractive according to this logic, but attractive if the same logic was applied on his home planet.)

Confused? Hope so haha!