Why are people so cruel online?

[Social_Monstrosity]

I tried to use Omegle, a video chat site, to try to get over my anxiety and it definitely just backfired...

Stranger: you ever try purging? it involves throwing up until you are pretty. Also a haircut and maybe thinning out those eyebrows and you will make more friends than your little brother, who only hangs out cause he is just as bad off.
You: Uhhh...
Stranger: you are a waste of space. Kill yourself now.
Stranger: oooo internet tough guy flipped me off
Stranger: or maybe you are a girl. I cant even tell

I then proceeded to disconnect. Why do people do this?

 

[guessed]

they're cruel because they can be. If you go to omegle long enough and just sign in and wait for them to reply eventually you'll see the pattern. you'll get like one normal reply and 3 or 4 weird ones . then a normal one then 3 weird ones.

also telling people they're losers and should go kill themselves is apparently a common thing for those types of people to say in chat rooms. and to insult mentally handicapped people.

It's wrong and it's cruel but just realize they don't mean any of those words they just take pleasure being chat room trolls.

 

[anxiousnut]

This makes me so mad!!! I HATE these types of internet trolls with a passion. I guess anonymity makes people so mean because there's no backlash and no threat of getting beat up. You can't let these morons get to you though, because in their real lives, they're probably the biggest losers out there. Isn't it weird how some stranger on a computer screen can make you feel bad about yourself somehow?

What I hate even worse than the cruel people is the people who try way too hard act like "internet geniuses". They always have to write lengthy, argumentative responses to what people say, proving why that person is wrong and showing off their "superior intellect" with the largest words they can muster up. They accuse you of being ignorant and nit pick at your grammar. UGGGHHHH...I hate these people.

 

[doubleM]

yeah there are alot of people like that. i used to go in a chat room and be scared to even type becuz i dont want to deal with people like that. i hate conflicts with them. but i usually just picture them as some jobless fat loser who lives in his moms basement eating cookies in his underwear.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

Their mamas were mean to them growing up? Most people will tell you that the anonymity of the internet frees people to be their true selves. They get to say things that they normally would not say in their daily lives. Have you ever read all the offensive, hateful and racist comments on YouTube? Every racist, bigot, misandrist and misogynist gets to unleash all their pent up anger in a way that would normally get them into trouble. It just goes to show that niceness is often an artificial formality and that niceness does not equate goodness. People often use niceness as a form of manipulation. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

 

[CosmicNeurotica]

Lots of ignorant douchebags in the world, that's all.
When I see this kind of thing going on, I leave. I don't have time for BS.
Definitely don't take it personally. Just cringe, feel sorry for them, and move on.

I honestly don't know of any good cam site where this kind of thing isn't practically guaranteed. No public one anyway.

 

[CosmicNeurotica]

It just goes to show that niceness is often an artificial formality and that niceness does not equate goodness. People often use niceness as a form of manipulation. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

Well said.

 

[zinc]

I doubt such a person actually wanted you to kill yourself, it's just anonymity gives people the ability to play an alter-ego and oftentimes they forget there is someone at the end of that connection that has feelings.

BRUSH it off your shoulder, don't take it seriously, remember such situations are absolutely irrelevant

 

[Feathers]

Oh gosh!!
Good advice here - maybe just don't go to such sites? Set up a 'cam chat' with someone you know or at least helpful people from online?

I've met great people online - both here and on other forums... I just don't do the web cam thingie though. And I rarely do chats at all..

Also know people can record you or then montage the recordings into something completely different.. So yeah, do it with known people, if at all..

I don't know how the web cam thing could 'cure' social phobia either - I can chat to strangers easily 'live' (if I'm in a good mood or there's a structured environment and/or they're interested to talk) and would be much more flipped out about the web cam thing lol.. It's much more helpful to read books about communication and such, and do 'small exposures' live, eg talk to shop assistant in a shop, etc, at least it was for me.

 

[Inspiration]

People so cruel online because they can and they will and nothing you can do about it. That is who they are.

 

[Dronee]

You know... many of the people online are just trolling around. I think lots of them do these insults out of sheer boredom so don't let it get you down. Easier said than done but yeah... If they're the ones who insult you for no good reason, they're already the worse.

 

[worrywort]

Sorry! I'm probably gonna sound like one of those pretentious "internet geniuses" now, as mentioned, but I actually studied this at uni and it was really interesting! It's apparently due to an effect called "deindividuation" and it occurs when you have situations where people are grouped so that each individual member of that group is no longer seen as an individual, but as a part of the group, and therefore feels a sense of lessened responsibility....and it happens all the time, in real life situations too; in the military or police force, in gangs or cults, or at sports events....looters, or hecklers at comedy clubs etc...

there was this mad experiment done were an actor would fall down in the middle of a busy street and they'd see how long it took for someone to help him, and they found that the busier the street was the less likely it was that someone would help him!!!

The solution to deindividuation, they found, was to actively pick out individuals from the group and reassert their sense of individuality. So, on the internet, it's difficult because you've always got that veil of anonymity, but the more you can build up specific users sense of individuality, the less likely they'll be to behave cruelly. You see it on this forum; most of the cruel comments come from new users, whereas the users who have been here for a while have built up a reputation and so tend to behave more responsibly. [most of the time anyway! ]

 

[Dronee]

Sorry! I'm probably gonna sound like one of those pretentious "internet geniuses" now, as mentioned, but I actually studied this at uni and it was really interesting! It's apparently due to an effect called "deindividuation" and it occurs when you have situations where people are grouped so that each individual member of that group is no longer seen as an individual, but as a part of the group, and therefore feels a sense of lessened responsibility....and it happens all the time, in real life situations too; in the military or police force, in gangs or cults, or at sports events....looters, or hecklers at comedy clubs etc...

there was this mad experiment done were an actor would fall down in the middle of a busy street and they'd see how long it took for someone to help him, and they found that the busier the street was the less likely it was that someone would help him!!!

The solution to deindividuation, they found, was to actively pick out individuals from the group and reassert their sense of individuality. So, on the internet, it's difficult because you've always got that veil of anonymity, but the more you can build up specific users sense of individuality, the less likely they'll be to behave cruelly. You see it on this forum; most of the cruel comments come from new users, whereas the users who have been here for a while have built up a reputation and so tend to behave more responsibly. [most of the time anyway! ]

Good post. I read the same in Dr Zimbardo's book "The Lucifer Effect". The Stanford Prison Experiment is also an interesting thing that shows how a 'group mentality' can also lead to deindivuation.

I really dislike how people use the internet as a way to be cruel. Usually though, my personal experience is that these tend to be very young kids who have nothing better to do (bored stiff). Most of the adults I meet seldom behave cruelly just due to boredom... but that's just my personal experience.

 

[Inspiration]

In the past, before we say something... we tend to use our brain. How the individual will react or is it appropriate to say it. We should be responsible for the thing we do, act or spoke. But, now, everyone just say something bluntly without taking consideration of the consequence. Internet making it more easy. Using a nickname and a fake photo.

 

[Kiwong]

They have their own issues, anger, intolerance, immaturity. Some people need CBT, not only sufferers of SA.

 

[Emily_G]

I tried to use Omegle, a video chat site, to try to get over my anxiety and it definitely just backfired...

Stranger: you ever try purging? it involves throwing up until you are pretty. Also a haircut and maybe thinning out those eyebrows and you will make more friends than your little brother, who only hangs out cause he is just as bad off.
You: Uhhh...
Stranger: you are a waste of space. Kill yourself now.
Stranger: oooo internet tough guy flipped me off
Stranger: or maybe you are a girl. I cant even tell

I then proceeded to disconnect. Why do people do this?

No consequences. They have extremely low self esteem and the only way to make themselves feel better is by making fun of others knowing nothing can happen to them by doing it.

 

[Ignace]

They do that because they're frustrated and feel superior. They think they can hurt people online without being punished.

 

[crunch-yogurt]

thats just the way the internet is. people feel safe behind a keyboard and they think they can say what ever they want because they dont know or will probally never meet the person they are talking to. those video chat sites can be really draining at times. its useally just weirdos or dickheads insulting people. ever so often you might get someone normal to talk too.

 

[Littlewilly]

Bcause there sad gitz thereselves.

 

[Social_Monstrosity]

Yeah I doubt I'll return. Maybe without the video chat only, but you guys are right, it's better to approach someone outside the internet even though I find that FAR more arduous. The funny thing is that the guy was using a loop of a "hot girl", so clearly he had nothing pretty to show either!

I did flip him off but I guess it was worthless. I wish I had told him he was a coward.