What is your problem(s)?

N

Nack

Banned
I think we can agree that we all have social phobia/ social anxiety to some extent. What I'm sure about is that our reasons behind it is different. We have insecurities that makes us anxious when talking to people or certain types of people. And because of that we hold ourselves back; most of us can't accomplish what we want in life because of the thoughts that we get when we "think" of doing certain stuff.

I wanna know what the reasons why you have social anxiety/phobia.

I'm still not sure about mine, but I've narrow it down to it being related to: my ethnicity, vocals/voice, Masculinity, fear of being rejected by women/friends/families/strangers, self-worthiness, and my childhood experiences.
 
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philly2bits

philly2bits

Well-known member
For me I think it's part genetic and part childhood experiences, although I can't pick out any single experience or group of experiences that may of caused it.
 
dooby-duck

dooby-duck

Well-known member
I think it's mostly down to genetics and a bit of circumstances. I'm pretty sure now that I've got tourettes. Although it's a really subtle version most of the time, it is sometimes glaringly obvious. Some of my tics are visible but others are internal. I'm lucky that my vocal stuff is just sniffing and coughing and some very quiet throat noises. The only real spoken stuff I have is called echolalia which is the repeating of words and phrases. This is ocasionally immediate repetition but I mostly repeat stuff I've heard on tv from years ago. Tourettes has a lot of comorbidities with anxiety disorders, ADD and OCD. I've probably got several of them going on to some extent.

I do tend to be very aware of allthose things when I'm around people and anxiety makes the tics worse which is great. I'm not half as weird as I make myself sound here. Not that many people seem to notice although I havehad some awkward questions and moments with people.
 
P

phil91

Well-known member
- Fear of rejection / humiliation.
- Chronic, over-protective and generally terrible parenting from my Mum.
- Discovering the Internet and living a virtual life instead of a real life between the ages 12-15.
- Past experiences with girls and "friends" at school.
 
Lorraine Manca

Lorraine Manca

Well-known member
bad luck! dead dad, depressed reclusive mom, i was too sad as a kid to develope and be carefree much, and other things, its exactly like a bad hand in cards, a thousand things add up to it, no one has the textbook definition of sa,
 
Kat

Kat

Well-known member
I, would say bullying, but I had confidence issues before then. My, mum use to get really stressed out about the house being clean before visitors would come over, so it could be learned behavior but I am also a daughter of parents who had abuse as a child and again it could be a learnt behavior, but both my parents don’t have social anxiety, and I had a tough time particularly with my dad understanding my behaviors.

I, think they also gave me more of the tough love treatment to me then my sis because at times they would interpret sp as my passive way of being rebellious. I don’t like anything about myself and it’s easier to stay away from people because they confirm my negative feelings about me.
 
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lollipop103

lollipop103

Active member
Basically a fear of awkwardness and being rejected and put in an embarrassing situation, I guess. eg. if I approach a group of people who I don't know very well (or even if I do) and I say something to try to break the ice, and they all look at me like I wasn't supposed to be there and interrupting them, awkwardness settles in and I'd feel horrible and probably never ever do that again. D:
 
Julesie

Julesie

Well-known member
What pushed me over the edge was bullying by those who I called best friends. It hurt and scarred me tremendously.
I was always quite shy, quiet, reserved, not outgoing before that though and would often lock myself away in toilets and other places for safety.

Looks, voice, personality, trust issues, not knowing what to say, raised voices, confidence, parents, brother, introvert, not being shown love.. -not quite the right word... um, basically no hugs, i love you's etc from parents- and being timid... are all mixed in.

I could say more but I'm really not sure how to word what I feel...
 
lunarla

lunarla

Well-known member
Good thread topic!

Mostly my appearance and all my feelings of unworthiness related to that.
 
PhantomPod

PhantomPod

Well-known member
gender expression-I'm a masculine female and deal with a lot of anxiety around people possibly mistaking me for a guy or calling me 'sir' when I'm with someone, cause then it'd get awkward.

lack of relationship experience- never had a boyfriend and feel quite insecure about it. and when co-workers or something are around and talking about ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends or something, I get anxious that someone will notice how quiet I'm being and realize that I've never had a boyfriend.

Voice- I have quite a hard time projecting my voice and speaking loud enough for others to hear me. I also think I have quite an annoying and high pitched voice.
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
Combination of bullying and genetics. I am forever wondering would my life have been only half as miserable if there was no bullying.
 
Falkor

Falkor

1
My possible cause's:
-it could be genetic (my mom had SA when she was 22 years old for 8 years)
-bullying for a long time
-bad school , they sent me to a behaviour disorder school (because of my panic attacks.. they don't understand I couldn't helped that -_-).. Everyone was crazy out there.. Used drugs, fighters.. And my teacher laughed at me when i was crying about it. ::(:
-I live in a small village
-I have MCDD, that's an anxiety disorder. ( it's a spectrum of the autism) it's people who are really anxious , it could be the cause too
-Perfectionism personality
-I'm only about empathy.. Never show anger.. I am too good to people, only thinking of other's
-unworthy personality
-lack of communication
 
Al3xander

Al3xander

1
Childhood experiences (I was bullied because of my being gay), lack of self-confidence caused from these experiences and the way I was brought up, extreme stress and depression during teenage years, inherent introvert tendencies.
 
Richey

Richey

Well-known member
[1] not ugly but physically boring and generic (in my opinion)...
[2] bullied each day in year ten ..this made me want to skip classes ...which has lead to other similar issues down the track at uni and other things i wont go into ..
[3] i seem to become awkward in group settings around chatty people ...don't really know how to enter the conversation with anything funny or stand outish ...i probably try too hard which sets me up for embarrassment..
[4] fairly dysfunctional immediate family in terms of emotionally and personality traits ...both parents had a difficult albeit (unique) upbringing, so i believe i've had a rare upbringing scenario...
[5] sheltered childhood ...
[6] isolated, sad existance in high school, the school wasnt a great choice imo. but i had a horrid time on a daily basis ...i can look back and laugh but its really sad, i was like that kid in about a boy with hugh grant, no real sense of fashion or wit ...just hopeless only without the happy ending
[7] sod all encouragement and lack of good mentors, influences, teachers growing up..

all of these things are a recipe for low self esteem ...lots of potential and hints of progress and skill in certain areas but then looking into the past and that nasty "oh i forgot i'm rubbish" mentality kicks in ...

i have come along way though since those days..
 
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