what is up with me

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mrdhall

Member
i really dont understand what is the problem. It cant just be shyness because i have alot of confidence, i know i am an attractive man because of all of the attention i get from females but when it comes down to me trying to get to know these females in an intimate setting i just dont do anything, im talking about females coiming to my house and we just watch movies to the point where they bring a movie so boring or uninteresting that i have to make a move and never do. At least 2 females introduce themselves to me everyday. I ride the train and literally all the females that i am attracted to seem to give me all of the signs to go talk to them but i never do i just dont look that way anymore. It is really starting to make me upset because its not even a fear of rejection because for some reason i dont think i willl get rejected because like i said before im a very attractive man, well mannered, stylish down to earth just a all around good guy. i just wanted to see if anybody had anything to say about this because i think i need some type of theropy because i really dont know what it is. And no i am not gay
 
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Rodney

Well-known member
Performance anxiety, maybe. Maybe you're afraid that you won't meet the female's expectations.

At least two females approach you each day you say? I'm lucky if I'm approached by anyone in a week... shyness and confidence? Kind of an oxymoron, no?
 
3lefts

3lefts

Well-known member
Do you have any experience to recall if you were to fear rejection or not? I can semi relate, as in I get quite a few looks and attempts in public as well, but even if I think they're attractive, as soon as I feel someone's interested in me I react almost on instinct to ignore them. I think I'm too good at that. I know that for me it is: fear of rejection for my personality, or fear of developing a relationship I don't want. I'm very quick to push ppl away even if I'm comfortable around them.. and then the last fear I think would be the inevitable intimacy. I don't want to have to deal with those feelings yet.
So try thinking about it a bit more and never stop questioning yourself until you think you know why.
"You can answer your own questions." Or at least I believe so, because of our abilities to know ourselves as intimately as we'd like. Keep asking yourself questions and keep looking for the answers.
 
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just wanna b normal

just wanna b normal

Well-known member
3lefts said:
Do you have any experience to recall if you were to fear rejection or not? I can semi relate, as in I get quite a few looks and attempts in public as well, but even if I think they're attractive, as soon as I feel someone's interested in me I react almost on instinct to ignore them. I think I'm too good at that. I know that for me it is: fear of rejection for my personality, or fear of developing a relationship I don't want. I'm very quick to push ppl away even if I'm comfortable around them.. and then the last fear I think would be the inevitable intimacy. I don't want to have to deal with those feelings yet.
So try thinking about it a bit more and never stop questioning yourself until you think you know why. You can answer your own questions.
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i used to b like that but just like you said i dont want them to think im too good so im not like that anymore
 
3lefts

3lefts

Well-known member
just wanna b normal said:
i used to b like that but just like you said i dont want them to think im too good so im not like that anymore
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Oh no, I didn't mean it that way. I just meant I'm good at ignoring people to avoid initiating any interaction... but you have a good point there....
 
fitftw

fitftw

Well-known member
I'm going with narcissism. I have it, I go to the gym 5 days a week, I look great, and I will never talk to a woman or make a move sexually. My problem is I am a 100% submissive male and I'm in love with myself. I unfortunately feel smarter/better than most people ;/ Pretty much no women ever make the first move, so I'm screwed. Hope it doesn't sound weird to say this, but I basically need to be molested by a woman.
 
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Feathers

Well-known member
fitftw said:
I'm going with narcissism. I have it, I go to the gym 5 days a week, I look great, and I will never talk to a woman or make a move sexually. My problem is I am a 100% submissive male and I'm in love with myself. I unfortunately feel smarter/better than most people ;/ Pretty much no women ever make the first move, so I'm screwed. Hope it doesn't sound weird to say this, but I basically need to be molested by a woman.
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LOL fiftw!! Well, I know women have made a sorta-first move on you before and may do so again!! Then again, maybe you just need to be 'pushed together' by hands of fate with someone (or do these things only happen in Spanish telenovelas?? :D)

So do you think women are too stupid/not good enough for you or something like that?

Like Survivor said, being gay is a possibility too, maybe.. hmm..
 
M

mrdhall

Member
No im not gay, but some of my close friends do say that i am a very stuck up person but i never really paid too much attention to that but alot of peoples replies have been related to narcissism. i do have a lot of confidence in myself but a narcisist? maybe, because i do kinda think i am somewhat better than the majority of the people i come in contact with. what can i do to humble myself i guess
 
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gazelle

Well-known member
It might be because the connections that women make with you are only based on physical attraction not personality attraction.I usually feel like too when poeple try to get close to me only because of my looks.The key might be to find a woman that spiritually attracts you.
 
DanFC

DanFC

Well-known member
Rodney said:
Performance anxiety, maybe. Maybe you're afraid that you won't meet the female's expectations.

At least two females approach you each day you say? I'm lucky if I'm approached by anyone in a week... shyness and confidence? Kind of an oxymoron, no?
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A week??? I think I've been approached by a female in a spontaneous manner once in my adult life.


And to the OP, I think a lot of people confuse narcissistic tendencies with just not wanting to deal with a social situation because of anxiety. I too have been told I'm narcissistic by some behavioral observations, but I'm not. Cognitively, I'm only thinking of myself in judgmental terms.
 
jesushelpme

jesushelpme

Member
Maybe your just not interested in them enough, when you meet someone and you like there personality and find someone you can connect with then its time to make your move until you find someone for you...why bother asking someone out or making the move whatever you wana call it unless your really interested in them in the first place......Just be patient and dont force yourself into anything, if you are not ready...your just not ready and it seems to be that your just not ready lol x
;)
 
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da_illest101

Well-known member
fitftw said:
I'm going with narcissism. I have it, I go to the gym 5 days a week, I look great, and I will never talk to a woman or make a move sexually. My problem is I am a 100% submissive male and I'm in love with myself. I unfortunately feel smarter/better than most people ;/ Pretty much no women ever make the first move, so I'm screwed. Hope it doesn't sound weird to say this, but I basically need to be molested by a woman.
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lmao you sound exactly like me, girls look at me like i'm the one who is suppose to do something.... NO I'm the prize come and get me lol. That's why I have a thing for controlling women, if I don't get push i really don't do anything
 
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