What do you believe being confident is all about?

[Saga]

So, I was talking a little with my counsellor about wanting to be more confident, just the other day, and I mentioned that I felt I had to be loud and outgoing to appear this way to other people.

It got me thinking that maybe I'd got the meaning of the term a little confused and that perhaps there is more than one type of confidence, or more than one way of appearing thus. ._. So I wanted to ask other's opinions. ^.^

Do you think you necessarily need to speak lots to be confident? (And for those of you that may be so... any tips? xD)

 

[lonelee1]

no way. i don't think loud means confidence all of the time. there's just something about having true inner confidence that makes a person genuine to others. it doesn't mean they necessarily need to be loud or outrageously outgoing to convey this. people like this know when to talk and when to keep quiet, how to be polite and all that other good stuff. its about being secure in yourself.

but loud and outgoing is okay too sometimes i'd say

 

[Unspoken]

I think it's conviction behind your opinions and actions; belief that they're correct and okay regardless of what someone else thinks. Hard to distinguish from arrogance with that definition, though.

 

[Lamb]

Confidence is being content with you who are (self identity), and having a belief in your capabilities. There's a certainty with which these people carry, but it isn't absolute certainty as I believe some people only make themselves appear that way.

You most certainly don't need to be a talker, or the center of attention to exude confidence.

^ I believe confidence mixed with a hint of arrogance is carrying the belief that you're better than others.

 

[gustavofring]

For me it is knowing to be or to be working towards the best ME that I can be, and to believe in my own abilities and hopes/dreams. Without comparison to others.

 

[Saga]

no way. i don't think loud means confidence all of the time. there's just something about having true inner confidence that makes a person genuine to others. it doesn't mean they necessarily need to be loud or outrageously outgoing to convey this. people like this know when to talk and when to keep quiet, how to be polite and all that other good stuff. its about being secure in yourself.

but loud and outgoing is okay too sometimes i'd say

Hmm yeah, I'm starting to see that now. xD I guess I'd always just see all these loud people and in my mind, they were confident too. Maybe they weren't at all. o_o My mind makes strange assumptions. :c

 

[Saga]

I think it's conviction behind your opinions and actions; belief that they're correct and okay regardless of what someone else thinks. Hard to distinguish from arrogance with that definition, though.

I see what you mean, but I think there still can be a distinction. For instance, one difference that springs to mind is that it can be all about the way in which you express your beliefs and the tone you use to convey them. ^_^

 

[Saga]

There's a certainty with which these people carry, but it isn't absolute certainty as I believe some people only make themselves appear that way.

That's interesting you say that. My counsellor was also giving me advice to 'fake it 'till I make it', in terms of confidence. I wasn't too sure about this. I don't particularly like giving off a false image, even if it's only temporary. :/ It may have its benefits though, I suppose I shall see.

 

[ForeverTheWeirdKid]

Being a chatter box isn't necessity. One that speaks with fair volume prolly has vocal belief though. Confidence is self belief. . . find a craft and become great at it. It helps

 

[BamanPiderman]

I think if you want to appear confident, you don't have to have to be loud and outgoing. Just your body language can tell another person if you're confident or not. If you always appear calm and relaxed, and smile, I think people will start to see you as a confident person.

 

[Saga]

I think if you want to appear confident, you don't have to have to be loud and outgoing. Just your body language can tell another person if you're confident or not. If you always appear calm and relaxed, and smile, I think people will start to see you as a confident person.

Thanks for the advice. ^.^

 

[Barrier]

Being confident is about feeling good about yourself, feeling comfortable with who you are and what you want.

 

[hidwell]

I think people who talk non stop tend to be anxious and are careful to fill any gaps in the conversation to avoid any awkward silences. I think confidence is a ever elusive skill that people often inherit, practice makes perfect but it is along hard road to being confident around people.

 

[kilojoule]

This is my interpretation of what 'confidence' is

Knowing yourself, liking who you are, loving yourself (y'know what I mean ) Believing in your own ability, being secure in yourself, being happy with who you are,...a sense of inner contentment, seeing yourself as worthy of other peoples respect and courtesy.

 

[KiaKaha]

I don't think there is a single definition of what confidence really is. I have seen this question so many times now in places all over the web and it's always different.

What I do think though - is that the interpretation of what confidence means to people is subjective and is responded to in accordance of what other people deem it to mean.

If you think you are confident - others may not see you as confident if it does not equate to what they think it is - and will react accordingly.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Confidence is not:

Blushing when a stranger strikes up a friendly conversation with you.

Body language that tells people you're trying to hide behind your own body.

Stumbling over your words when expressing an opinion.

Acting like you're standing of the edge of a thousand foot cliff when someone asks you to engage in some perfectly normal social activity.

And so on.

 

[Hellhound]

Being content with who you are, not being afraid to be yourself around others, standing up for yourself.

 

[laure15]

I think people who talk non stop tend to be anxious and are careful to fill any gaps in the conversation to avoid any awkward silences. I think confidence is a ever elusive skill that people often inherit, practice makes perfect but it is along hard road to being confident around people.

I feel the pressure to do this when talking to extroverts. They expect the conversation to not have any silences at all, at least that's the impression I get. Just today, I was speaking to an extrovert and I couldn't hear him over skype so he told me to turn up the volume. So I opened up my audio settings and configured it. While I was doing so, he was whistling and then he said, "uhh...hello?" Sensing that he was impatient over the silence, I had to reassure him that I was in the process of changing my audio settings. After that, the conversation went without a hitch, with no pauses.

I think having some pauses in the conversation is ok. I don't know why some people have to constantly talk to fill in the gaps. Maybe they're anxious, like other people mentioned.