What attracts women? Why can't I attract them?

MikeyC

Well-known member
Erm... I like cologne, as long as the man in question doesn't smell like a Hollister store (overscented = blech).

I know at least a few other women agree with me, and I'm sure there are many others. I'm sure there are a lot of women who prefer no cologne. I'm really not sure what the majority opinion is, but if I had to guess I'd guess most women do like a little man perfume as long as it's not overdone.
Does BO count? I can make that myself. :giggle:
 

nodejesque

Well-known member
Erm... I like cologne, as long as the man in question doesn't smell like a Hollister store (overscented = blech).

I know at least a few other women agree with me, and I'm sure there are many others. I'm sure there are a lot of women who prefer no cologne. I'm really not sure what the majority opinion is, but if I had to guess I'd guess most women do like a little man perfume as long as it's not overdone.

I agree........
 
I have no idea.

I have a gf but I didn't really have a strategy when I started talking to her.

:applause:
Exactly!
It just happens!
Stop :question: and do your own thing(s). Get out and about. Life is too stupid to worry about getting a girlfriend or boyfriend.
 

bsammy

Well-known member
^^thats the thing, it can just happen..you may sit next to the right girl in school or work next to her and chemistry develops..she gets to know you through your day to interactions but most people arent that lucky....they have to go out there attract and seek out women and men..

all i can say is looks can and do matter but what seems to matter most is attitude, having charisma and just having an energetic/fun presence to you..in a way you have to act like you have it going on and this will attract women...you can be great looking but if you are shy and dont say much and have a very sullen look about you, its usually a big turn off for most people, ie not attractive or appealing..i think this is the biggest problem many on this forum have, how do you act charismatic and outgoing, energetic when in reality, you are not that way at all?you have to use some foolery me thinks..

social status is important to women down the road but when approaching them in a store it holds no weight..i mean, how could they tell your social status by just looking at you?again, the thing that has attracted women the most in my experience has been by being engaging and socially energetic...looks do matter though as i know a friend that is much more outgoing and social than i am or ever will be yet he cant get a single gf but he doesnt take care of himself physically so i think thats his sticking point...

u just have to try and cover as many areas as possible, be socially engaging, exercise and keep yourself in shape, dress well etc etc
 

Odo

Banned
^That sounds like PUA stuff.

I was under the impression most people met their spouses through work and school quite a lot. I think the most common way is through friends, though... which is probably why there are so many single people on this board.

I think you can meet people by being 'socially energetic' but I know that I personally couldn't keep that up for very long and wouldn't want to be with someone who expected that from me. I've had people start up conversation on subways but they never seemed to go anywhere because people are pretty guarded in those types of places.

I would say if you want to meet someone nice and start a relationship, get a job or take a class. You don't really need to work out or do any of that stuff because I really don't think girls care as much about men being superfit as men do... exercise does boost your mood, though.

I think the biggest issue some people have to deal with is their aggressively negative attitude towards both themselves and other people. It will always come out in what they say and do and it's toxic. It means you're going to be received as a potential burden.
 

Alienated

Well-known member
Odo... I couldn't agree with that last paragraph more !!

Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone !!
 

Alienated

Well-known member
Oh... is that the secrect...

You MOON THEM, I have been doing it all wrong. I tried to swoon them. :kickingmyself:

I am going to go try that right now at the Mall, wish me luck !!
 
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anobody1

Member
I don't think there's a definite general component that will attract women to men, and vice versa. Everyone has their own taste. I've seen ugly men with beautiful women.

I'm a gay guy and from my experience I've met guys who were attracted to me and guys who were not attracted to me. I've even found certain guys vert attractive to whom are generally found unattractive. Generally, I don't consider myself attractive, but hey to each their own.

I don't see there to be any point in that video, I think it's misleading.
 

bsammy

Well-known member
^That sounds like PUA stuff.

I was under the impression most people met their spouses through work and school quite a lot. I think the most common way is through friends, though... which is probably why there are so many single people on this board.

I think you can meet people by being 'socially energetic' but I know that I personally couldn't keep that up for very long and wouldn't want to be with someone who expected that from me. I've had people start up conversation on subways but they never seemed to go anywhere because people are pretty guarded in those types of places.

I would say if you want to meet someone nice and start a relationship, get a job or take a class. You don't really need to work out or do any of that stuff because I really don't think girls care as much about men being superfit as men do... exercise does boost your mood, though.

I think the biggest issue some people have to deal with is their aggressively negative attitude towards both themselves and other people. It will always come out in what they say and do and it's toxic. It means you're going to be received as a potential burden.

wait, what are we talking about here, how people generally meet their gf or bf or how men attract women?the topic is how men attract women and Op wants to know why he isnt successful...

yes, generally the best way to meet women is through work or school or some class but again, that only gets you in contact with women, that alone will not attract them to you...as already said by others, women are attracted to many different traits but some stand out..if you smile and are engaging and social, this gets their attention much more than if you sit in the corner of the room with your head down not talking to anyone..

being socially engaging and energetic is extremely important if you want to approach women on the street, store or bars etc etc..the goal here to get their attention and get them to talk to you...a very introverted or shy guy will not be able to keep up a high energy social state BUT this is why you must gradually then let the girl know who you are slowly...

working out simply shows you care about yourself enough to stay in shape and look better which is always a plus..generally, a stronger or more fit looking man will attract more women than a guy that looks like he sits at a computer all day long..

much of what i say is PUA related...much of what they say does work though in attracting women as much as i wish it didnt :)
 

Mehh

Active member
I cannot believe that this video has almost 7,000 views. This is incredibly misogynistic. Also, nobody is debating that physical attraction is often the initial basis of a relationship- the same could be said about why men approach women. Honestly, I found the video to be kind of frightening and brain-washy. It's scary to think that people might take this seriously!
 

Bronson99

Well-known member
I think the biggest issue some people have to deal with is their aggressively negative attitude towards both themselves and other people. It will always come out in what they say and do and it's toxic. It means you're going to be received as a potential burden.

Seems mostly true, or at the very least, partially true.

I think the way to get around this "bottleneck," then, is to simply learn to like yourself. But this is not so simple, really... it's a very complicated thing. I'm in my early 30s, and as someone who absolutely loathed myself for virtually all of my 20s, I am now just *beginning* to scratch the surface of this... I don't quite get or appreciate the fact that most people get a handle on this by their early 20s, at the latest... Here I am just beginning. I'm not even sure I can go all the way, because of this ingrained tendency to constantly compare myself to everyone, and always, always find a way to say I'm "so much worse," etc etc.
 

Bronson99

Well-known member
much of what i say is PUA related...much of what they say does work though in attracting women as much as i wish it didnt :)

The problem I have with this is I'm not sure attracting women is a skill that can be learned; to me it seems like a more intuitive skill.

Why is it a guy popular with women has the right body language and facial expression at all times? Go ahead and break that down, and analyze it. You can't. The answer is because he does. It came naturally to him.

I'm not sure that one can stop being awkward. I don't think you can manually take certain steps and improve your chances--with a few exceptions, such as working out and improving physical appearance, and dress code. But what else can you do? Does practicing conversational skill with women, by talking to random women for example, eventually yield progress if you're an awkward/anxious guy to begin with?
 

Odo

Banned
I'm not even sure I can go all the way, because of this ingrained tendency to constantly compare myself to everyone, and always, always find a way to say I'm "so much worse," etc etc.

It's not an 'ingrained tendency', it's a habit... like smoking, biting your nails, or spitting. It's not part of who you are, it's something you do.

Maybe you could try seeing yourself as someone who doesn't do that.
 

bsammy

Well-known member
Seems mostly true, or at the very least, partially true.

I think the way to get around this "bottleneck," then, is to simply learn to like yourself. But this is not so simple, really... it's a very complicated thing. I'm in my early 30s, and as someone who absolutely loathed myself for virtually all of my 20s, I am now just *beginning* to scratch the surface of this... I don't quite get or appreciate the fact that most people get a handle on this by their early 20s, at the latest... Here I am just beginning. I'm not even sure I can go all the way, because of this ingrained tendency to constantly compare myself to everyone, and always, always find a way to say I'm "so much worse," etc etc.

oh the key is to like yourself for who you are but it does become complicated when an individual has many traits that seem to not fit well into society, aloofness, shyness, social anxiety, agoraphobia..you are behind in regards to the social scene but you can improve but it takes work and throwing yourself out there on a consistent basis..
 
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