Too depressed for a girlfriend

[Kiwong]

There's a million things I'm not too depressed for. I love life. I suck at people and relationships, but hell there is more to life than that.

 

[SilentBird]

I suck at people and relationships.

You seem to get on well with people on this site.

 

[Kiwong]

You seem to get on well with people on this site.

Thanks SilentBird, perhaps we are all a little bit hard on ourselves at times.

 

[MikeyC]

There's a million things I'm not too depressed for. I love life. I suck at people and relationships, but hell there is more to life than that.

I would still like to meet up with you one day, mate.

I'm glad you love life. It's not often I hear that, even from people who don't have anxiety and depression. You sound like you've created your own little niche and are really liking it. I couldn't be happier for you.

 

[Kiwong]

I would still like to meet up with you one day, mate.

I'm glad you love life. It's not often I hear that, even from people who don't have anxiety and depression. You sound like you've created your own little niche and are really liking it. I couldn't be happier for you.

That'd be good to catch up sometime MikeyC, you sound a really good sort of a bloke, if you don't mind me saying. The thing with life is that most of the time it's bloody hard, but it seems like I created a niche within a life where sometimes I can really enjoy myself, not all the time, but enough to make it worth living.

 

[MikeyC]

That'd be good to catch up sometime MikeyC, you sound a really good sort of a bloke, if you don't mind me saying. The thing with life is that most of the time it's bloody hard, but it seems like I created a niche within a life where sometimes I can really enjoy myself, not all the time, but enough to make it worth living.

Thanks, mate. Life is bloody hard, but you seem to be doing well, especially now with a better knee.

 

[SilentBird]

Recently I was asked if I had a girlfriend and I replied that I have put relationships in the "too-hard" basket. She responded by saying that I would make a good friend. Yeah I would... but a boyfriend, not right now.

 

[Feathers]

It depends how strong the depression is (or any other stuff)...
Personally, I still think depression can be cured and can be seen as something like a 'cold' or 'flu' - it depends if someone is doing things to get better (like biking, exercise, working...), than that is a plus...
Some people may see mental health problems as stigma, some may be okay with it (if they or relatives have had problems), some may even be intrigued or fascinated...

Kiwong, you're someone I admire very much too!!

 

[Fighter86]

I am opposite from most of replys here, it is because I am sad and down that I cling to someone to provide comfort and companionship, to escape from my problems. If I am happy and well adjusted, eg. have good working life, get on well with family and have a reasonable social circle (which I don't), I won't even seek a relationship because I would be quite contended with success in other areas of my life.

 

[Fighter86]

I suck at people and relationships.

Not my strengths either, especially relationships. No matter how hard I try or how much I am willing to accomodate and put up with, I am ultimately still shown the door. I think its not fair, some people make it seem so easy.

 

[SonicMan]

It is hard. Women seem to get boyfriends really easily, even if they have depression, anxiety and other issues. For a man, depression and anxiety seems to make finding a girlfriend almost impossible. I'll keep trying though.

 

[Odo]

It is hard. Women seem to get boyfriends really easily, even if they have depression, anxiety and other issues.

I don't think this is true, necessarily... there are quite a few single women out there and they can't always find someone to date.

On the other hand, I think that on the whole women tend to be lonely because they can't find that 'perfect fit' and refuse to settle for less-- not because they don't have options.

 

[FelipeSantos]

It is hard. Women seem to get boyfriends really easily, even if they have depression, anxiety and other issues. For a man, depression and anxiety seems to make finding a girlfriend almost impossible. I'll keep trying though.

I think prety girls get boyfriends very easily , girls with beauty problems have the same difficulty that depressive, insecure man. It's just different needs we care about how the girls look , the girls need more from us to fell atracted.
Same as you man I'll keep triyng.

 

[PheonixBomb]

There's a million things I'm not too depressed for. I love life. I suck at people and relationships, but hell there is more to life than that.

For some reason all I can think about is people and relationships, even though I suck at those things as well. How do I open myself up to more?

 

[Flanscho]

If you have no motivation whatsoever to be in a relationship, and you don't have a relationship, I don't see where exactly the problem is. Nobody forces to be in one. Is it only because of sex or what others might think of you?

 

[Kiwong]

For some reason all I can think about is people and relationships, even though I suck at those things as well. How do I open myself up to more?

This is what works for me:

Find the stuff in life you have a passion for and get involved in that as a distraction. Discover the things that bring you peace and spend time doing it.

A dream: is a thought away from starting, and a journey of small steps towards coming true.

some of mine: run a marathon, write a book, take photos. I had a thought that I wanted to run marathon before 50. It turned into a dream, and an real escape from my other worries in life.

My perspective on relationships and life changed when I had serious health problems. When I survived, I just wanted to live life some more, relationships if they happened would be a bonus.