Through Cougar Eyes [Puma's journal]
- Thread starter BlackPuma
- Start date
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
Yay!! Puma! You've joined us! =] I love this trend.
vj288
not actually Fiona Apple
Thank you, you are awesome as well 
I think we better start giving credit to the actual originator of this idea though, here's the link. http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/the-whatever-journal-10538/
I think we better start giving credit to the actual originator of this idea though, here's the link. http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/the-whatever-journal-10538/YAY, Puma!! For making things work and turning the day around!!
I think you actually went really well about it..
Some people don't realize how 'simple' things can mess up other people's schedules or such... Maybe it would be good to mention it for any future meetings, that if there are any reschedules, it would be great to be notified ahead?
Do keep in mind it's good to research any programs or jobs you are offered well, you don't have to take the first thing you are offered (I didn't know this when I was younger) If you haven't read it yet, 'What Color Is Your Parachute' is a great book and I recommend it very much!
I try to be polite to older people on the bus, sometimes it can be difficult.. /sigh/ maybe he had some bad experience with 'the youth' from before? Glad you were able to ignore it and keep a good attitude!
Overall, I think you did really good and wishing you good luck with the jobs!! It's really great you have job coaches who can help over there.. (Is this free or for pay?)
For making things work and turning the day around!!I think you actually went really well about it..
Some people don't realize how 'simple' things can mess up other people's schedules or such... Maybe it would be good to mention it for any future meetings, that if there are any reschedules, it would be great to be notified ahead?
Do keep in mind it's good to research any programs or jobs you are offered well, you don't have to take the first thing you are offered (I didn't know this when I was younger
) If you haven't read it yet, 'What Color Is Your Parachute' is a great book and I recommend it very much!I try to be polite to older people on the bus, sometimes it can be difficult.. /sigh/ maybe he had some bad experience with 'the youth' from before? Glad you were able to ignore it and keep a good attitude!
Overall, I think you did really good and wishing you good luck with the jobs!! It's really great you have job coaches who can help over there.. (Is this free or for pay?)
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
Wow 4 hours of sleep during the night? That's gotta be rough.
I can totally relate to your room seeming like a world away from the rest of the house, the negative influence of the people you live with, trying to avoid them as much as possible. Arising such a hate that it does not even feel like you, when you are around them... Who are these bastards if you don't mind me asking? If not your mother, siblings? It's great that your mother has retained at least some sanity.
Discovery channel =[ They just don't seem to care anymore about... well, about being interesting, or revealing truths! I suspect it's one of those greed patterns that always has to interfere with whatever becomes popular. Sigh! What a twisted way this world works. What is the most viewed and cherished becomes tainted by that very worldwide appreciation, and then the world continues to take it all in, not even realizing the silent transformation from passion>greed.
He trusts you but he doesn't trust your thoughts? That's a hard one. What's with relationships and losing the ability to listen to one another these days? I'm sure there's a way to work things out, nothing that honest conversation cannot attempt to simmer. I value your approach in waiting for it to become a more direct problem.
Your day sounded a lot like mine. Hiding from the people outside that door, trying to entertain the mind through electronics, all while sleep deprived.
I can totally relate to your room seeming like a world away from the rest of the house, the negative influence of the people you live with, trying to avoid them as much as possible. Arising such a hate that it does not even feel like you, when you are around them... Who are these bastards if you don't mind me asking? If not your mother, siblings? It's great that your mother has retained at least some sanity.
Discovery channel =[ They just don't seem to care anymore about... well, about being interesting, or revealing truths! I suspect it's one of those greed patterns that always has to interfere with whatever becomes popular. Sigh! What a twisted way this world works. What is the most viewed and cherished becomes tainted by that very worldwide appreciation, and then the world continues to take it all in, not even realizing the silent transformation from passion>greed.
He trusts you but he doesn't trust your thoughts? That's a hard one. What's with relationships and losing the ability to listen to one another these days? I'm sure there's a way to work things out, nothing that honest conversation cannot attempt to simmer. I value your approach in waiting for it to become a more direct problem.
Your day sounded a lot like mine. Hiding from the people outside that door, trying to entertain the mind through electronics, all while sleep deprived.
coyote
Well-known member
cougars?? i thought you liked them young coyote? :
I'm an equal opportunity coyote
coyote
Well-known member
young is better and you know it :
but older women have the experience to fully appreciate just how wonderful a lover I truly am
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
Sometimes talking about these things can lift the weight off of your back. Send me a PM if you ever want to, k?
Oh my those washer machine people. Sometimes it just flat out sucks to be the person who's home all the time. I'm glad it wasn't too awkward, those situations are never comfortable. Things break down in this house very often and there seems to always be a hindu man in the kitchen fixing something.
It's been one week, I'm sure they're just really busy.
So, you enjoy watching Silent Hill, but not playing it? That's pretty neat that you got through all 25-30 hours of watching! It's like one huge ass movie. A full day and night of living in something. Hope it was enjoyable
The only way to get over something/someone/somekitty, is to let yourself grieve about it. Did you ever let yourself grieve over your cat?? In a way just missing her, is the beginning verge of grieving. So I think that's a good thing. It has to come out sometime. She must have been a really lovable cat, and a valuable part of your life, for you to still miss her.
Oh my those washer machine people. Sometimes it just flat out sucks to be the person who's home all the time. I'm glad it wasn't too awkward, those situations are never comfortable. Things break down in this house very often and there seems to always be a hindu man in the kitchen fixing something.
It's been one week, I'm sure they're just really busy.
So, you enjoy watching Silent Hill, but not playing it? That's pretty neat that you got through all 25-30 hours of watching! It's like one huge ass movie. A full day and night of living in something. Hope it was enjoyable
The only way to get over something/someone/somekitty, is to let yourself grieve about it. Did you ever let yourself grieve over your cat?? In a way just missing her, is the beginning verge of grieving. So I think that's a good thing. It has to come out sometime. She must have been a really lovable cat, and a valuable part of your life, for you to still miss her.
vj288
not actually Fiona Apple
I know what you mean about your cat. When my bunny died I would always enter the room where her cage and be like "oh yeah..." I would focus on your new cat, my parents would always get a replacement pet after one died and before long it filled that void (to a point). Don't worry, you'll be fine.
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
Goodluck in the battle against the evil worms! x] That must be creepy
Hey, I get what you mean, brain melting, time melting. Sometimes structure becomes a craving after many days so unstructured, and reappears simply because you get sick of a seemingly meaningless life. As long as you jump on the urge, even if it is slight, to begin doing something, then you can trust that it will not be for long
This move might be good for that friend. I mean, we both know what it's like to live with a problematic family. Even if he works his ass off, and something goes wrong with the 10 year gap, or the relationship, he may be happy just thinking himself free and under his own control.
Be careful with honesty! Remember that there is no such thing as faking happiness. Actions, and your body will follow. Being honest and negative sometimes is just being safe and familiar (By the way... I don't see your posts as negative at all!!)
Hey, I get what you mean, brain melting, time melting. Sometimes structure becomes a craving after many days so unstructured, and reappears simply because you get sick of a seemingly meaningless life. As long as you jump on the urge, even if it is slight, to begin doing something, then you can trust that it will not be for long
This move might be good for that friend. I mean, we both know what it's like to live with a problematic family. Even if he works his ass off, and something goes wrong with the 10 year gap, or the relationship, he may be happy just thinking himself free and under his own control.
Be careful with honesty! Remember that there is no such thing as faking happiness. Actions, and your body will follow. Being honest and negative sometimes is just being safe and familiar
(By the way... I don't see your posts as negative at all!!)
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
Oh Puma don't be sorry, it's not depressive.
I understand your situation SO FREAKING WELL!! It's a very hard thing to explain.In fact I'm mentally too dead to explain it to make sure you understand that I understand haha. But that is the exact reason that I do not get a job.
It's like other people have a mental handbook of how to... be socially acceptable and always know what to do. I always need guidance because I always believe, no way could my way of thinking fit into this way of thinking, no way could I be doing something right if I just guess! What are the odds! I'm always asking questions as well, for this reason. There..is just.. Ah, lost my thought. I assume I don't make any sense compared to society's "sense", and in reverse,
Would it be possible to find a job where there is always something to do, without asking? Hhmmm.... Even something as simple as stocking shelves at a store. I think they're always busy?
Running away into the wild... Such a common topic among us SAs. I never would have thought. When people say 'Oh, you'd just be running away from your problems" it brings me to question whether these issues are MY issues, or society trying to tie their citizens to the faults.
Hmm this post wasn't very helpful. Standards standards standards, and self doubt. What a horrid combination.
Oh, but congratulations for snagging the job! Whether it fits or not, that's a compliment to your capability
I understand your situation SO FREAKING WELL!! It's a very hard thing to explain.In fact I'm mentally too dead to explain it to make sure you understand that I understand haha. But that is the exact reason that I do not get a job.
It's like other people have a mental handbook of how to... be socially acceptable and always know what to do. I always need guidance because I always believe, no way could my way of thinking fit into this way of thinking, no way could I be doing something right if I just guess! What are the odds! I'm always asking questions as well, for this reason. There..is just.. Ah, lost my thought. I assume I don't make any sense compared to society's "sense", and in reverse,
Would it be possible to find a job where there is always something to do, without asking? Hhmmm.... Even something as simple as stocking shelves at a store. I think they're always busy?
Running away into the wild... Such a common topic among us SAs. I never would have thought. When people say 'Oh, you'd just be running away from your problems" it brings me to question whether these issues are MY issues, or society trying to tie their citizens to the faults.
Hmm this post wasn't very helpful. Standards standards standards, and self doubt. What a horrid combination.
Oh, but congratulations for snagging the job! Whether it fits or not, that's a compliment to your capability
Hey Puma! ((hugs))
Starting a new job can be stressful...
Can you ask to have like a 'schedule' for each day set up by you and supervisor at the start of the day? (or end of previous day?)
eg Do this and this and this... like what is likely to be accomplished in a day (like, this bed and this wardrobe to sand and repair/get to another person, or what it is you do) so you fully know what it is you got to do, and don't need to doubt? Maybe you could do this for the full week, and then for each day individually? It helps me a lot if I structure my days like this..
It sounds like you might have a bit of nonverbal learning difficulty (I have it too) and sometimes/often don't 'see' things either.. (Then again I can see and grasp complex problems and find solutions... and you sound very intelligent otherwise too!!)
Also, my mom has been very critical and that's why I prefer to be told too/do things after confirming with everyone it's okay to go ahead cause she constantly yelled at dad or others if we did/n't do something she was/n't happy with lol.. So if you have any history like that, you may have learnt it's safest to wait and not show initiative too.. In the past, this might have been useful behavior.. it's not always so easy to unlearn...
You are also new there and it's normal that others have already gotten accustomed to it!!
Also for some people who were long-term unemployed, I heard this could be a case, that they don't 'see/find work'..
Please give it a chance for the rest of the week, and then maybe for next week too.. Others there expect you to not know everything..
It's normal for every new thing that there is a learning curve. If you are a perfectionist like me, you really really hate the part when you don't know anything/much about it though, and want to go from 'newbie' to 'expert' in like zero time... This may be worse if you are intelectually/academically successful/intelligent, because you operate in the land of ideas so well.. In real life, it takes more time than with just ideas... Your body needs to physically adjust to new routines...
At least try to stick it for a month, so you get your 1st paycheck!!
I have a motto that you can survive anything for 3 months!!
(Imagine what you could do with that money, hmm?? Might make even running away into the wild easier-?? Winter is coming...)
Anyway, fingers crossed it gets better!!
Starting a new job can be stressful...
Can you ask to have like a 'schedule' for each day set up by you and supervisor at the start of the day? (or end of previous day?)
eg Do this and this and this... like what is likely to be accomplished in a day (like, this bed and this wardrobe to sand and repair/get to another person, or what it is you do) so you fully know what it is you got to do, and don't need to doubt? Maybe you could do this for the full week, and then for each day individually? It helps me a lot if I structure my days like this..
It sounds like you might have a bit of nonverbal learning difficulty (I have it too) and sometimes/often don't 'see' things either.. (Then again I can see and grasp complex problems and find solutions... and you sound very intelligent otherwise too!!)
Also, my mom has been very critical and that's why I prefer to be told too/do things after confirming with everyone it's okay to go ahead cause she constantly yelled at dad or others if we did/n't do something she was/n't happy with lol.. So if you have any history like that, you may have learnt it's safest to wait and not show initiative too.. In the past, this might have been useful behavior.. it's not always so easy to unlearn...
You are also new there and it's normal that others have already gotten accustomed to it!!
Also for some people who were long-term unemployed, I heard this could be a case, that they don't 'see/find work'..
Please give it a chance for the rest of the week, and then maybe for next week too.. Others there expect you to not know everything..
It's normal for every new thing that there is a learning curve. If you are a perfectionist like me, you really really hate the part when you don't know anything/much about it though, and want to go from 'newbie' to 'expert' in like zero time... This may be worse if you are intelectually/academically successful/intelligent, because you operate in the land of ideas so well.. In real life, it takes more time than with just ideas... Your body needs to physically adjust to new routines...
At least try to stick it for a month, so you get your 1st paycheck!!
I have a motto that you can survive anything for 3 months!!
(Imagine what you could do with that money, hmm?? Might make even running away into the wild easier-?? Winter is coming...)
Anyway, fingers crossed it gets better!!
YAY Puma!!
Great to hear it got better!! I like visually arranging things too!!
Great to hear things sold better then!!
You might wanna check with someone else if it's okay to do it like this and if they want you to help out in other sections, seeing you had great sales results (might wanna keep track of this, on paper)
That's odd about removing the wardrobes - maybe you can get the plan for next week or next month...? So you can be more productive and effective in advance? There will probably be 'special sales' in December?
Who's in charge of monthly planning - if anyone? Or did these things previously?(might wanna check if the person doesn't secretly want things to not be sold - 'hamster mentality', I guess I could probably be at fault for something like this if things are lovely.. or if there are any egos in play - for example, someone being insulted you were redoing his things, or someone beeing Monk-ish/OCD/Asperger-ish about it.. like 'previous way was best' or disliking changes..)
It would be good to sort of clarify any of these things.. in a very diplomatic and informal way, probably.. Just, 'What do you think about doing it this way?' maybe, with reasons like you said here, that people find things more easily? etc.
If you look at the website of H&M, they have specialist job positions for people arranging the shop windows and products in the store.. It may be an idea for an (informal) job title - might make it easier if you ever look for jobs elsewhere too!!
And lol I soo understand about wanting to sort it all and improve work procedures, lol!! YAY Puma, go you!!
It feels fun to afford buying cool new things with the first paycheck, doesn't it?
I'd still remind you to save as much as you can, so you will feel more free for any choices later on - whether to stay on or not later on... And to afford maybe even more nifty things later on...
Great to hear it got better!! I like visually arranging things too!!
Great to hear things sold better then!!
You might wanna check with someone else if it's okay to do it like this and if they want you to help out in other sections, seeing you had great sales results (might wanna keep track of this, on paper)
That's odd about removing the wardrobes - maybe you can get the plan for next week or next month...? So you can be more productive and effective in advance? There will probably be 'special sales' in December?
Who's in charge of monthly planning - if anyone? Or did these things previously?(might wanna check if the person doesn't secretly want things to not be sold - 'hamster mentality', I guess I could probably be at fault for something like this if things are lovely..
or if there are any egos in play - for example, someone being insulted you were redoing his things, or someone beeing Monk-ish/OCD/Asperger-ish about it.. like 'previous way was best' or disliking changes..) It would be good to sort of clarify any of these things.. in a very diplomatic and informal way, probably.. Just, 'What do you think about doing it this way?' maybe, with reasons like you said here, that people find things more easily? etc.
If you look at the website of H&M, they have specialist job positions for people arranging the shop windows and products in the store.. It may be an idea for an (informal) job title - might make it easier if you ever look for jobs elsewhere too!!
And lol I soo understand about wanting to sort it all and improve work procedures, lol!! YAY Puma, go you!!
It feels fun to afford buying cool new things with the first paycheck, doesn't it?
I'd still remind you to save as much as you can, so you will feel more free for any choices later on - whether to stay on or not later on... And to afford maybe even more nifty things later on...
Hey Puma! Good to know things went a little better!! YAY for lasting a week!! Yeah, boredom at work can be expected, in some cases... Still better than frenzied overworking and such.. (at least in my opinion/experience)
We went to a similar place like where you work this week, and the people there seemed quite bored too.. Someone I know works in a library and he's bored a lot there too (a lot on Facebook and such!!)
Someone who works in reception in a hotel is also a lot online... (not sure how healthy that is, it keeps her occupied when the hours are slow and not many people there..) Maybe there are some nice co-workers to chat with there too?
Not sure what your duties are there, if you just have to 'be there' to sell and such, maybe you can bring like some crosswords or a comic to read? Or could you even bring something to study, if you want to continue education someday?
The girl who worked there talked to us a bit and then sat at the table by the laptop, not doing much, until we paid what we bought... so, hm?
Might also wanna ask a friendly co-worker or observe what they do?
In the breaks, can you go outside and take a mini-walk? At some places where I worked we had half an hour off for break (this depends on the type of work/contract you do, and probably different in every country), we could go have lunch or buy something to eat in a store, and maybe browse around bookshops and such...
Can you also find assignments that let you walk around a bit? Or go to the bathroom/toilet if needed or such... (Even if just to get some air/space... walk around a bit... of course probably someone else needs to be there meanwhile..)
Anyway, good luck with it all!! And hoping you find a watch somewhere!! Do any of your relatives or friends have something you could borrow? Or maybe a watch that just needs new batteries or something? (ideally rechargeable)
YAY for lasting a week!! Yeah, boredom at work can be expected, in some cases... Still better than frenzied overworking and such.. (at least in my opinion/experience)We went to a similar place like where you work this week, and the people there seemed quite bored too.. Someone I know works in a library and he's bored a lot there too (a lot on Facebook and such!!)
Someone who works in reception in a hotel is also a lot online... (not sure how healthy that is, it keeps her occupied when the hours are slow and not many people there..) Maybe there are some nice co-workers to chat with there too?
Not sure what your duties are there, if you just have to 'be there' to sell and such, maybe you can bring like some crosswords or a comic to read? Or could you even bring something to study, if you want to continue education someday?
The girl who worked there talked to us a bit and then sat at the table by the laptop, not doing much, until we paid what we bought... so, hm?
Might also wanna ask a friendly co-worker or observe what they do?
In the breaks, can you go outside and take a mini-walk? At some places where I worked we had half an hour off for break (this depends on the type of work/contract you do, and probably different in every country), we could go have lunch or buy something to eat in a store, and maybe browse around bookshops and such...
Can you also find assignments that let you walk around a bit? Or go to the bathroom/toilet if needed or such... (Even if just to get some air/space... walk around a bit... of course probably someone else needs to be there meanwhile..)
Anyway, good luck with it all!! And hoping you find a watch somewhere!! Do any of your relatives or friends have something you could borrow? Or maybe a watch that just needs new batteries or something? (ideally rechargeable
)
Hey Puma, I thought you were bored, that's why I suggested those things.. If you're busy, that's partly good.. At least you have things to do, and make a positive contribution to the environment etc!! Yup, I totally believe that you can be busy with all that..
Hmm, are you sure you heard it right? Maybe you misunderstood? If people think you're cranky and you're not, could it be that you have a specific face expression? My mom looks like she's in a bad mood a lot of the time.. even when she's not..
Though maybe if you were uncomfortable around them, or didn't like the previous system, maybe you frowned and weren't even conscious of it?
For some people, maybe even suggesting new changes or questioning the 'status quo' can feel 'cranky'... Don't ask what people who get to be 'bosses' or 'supervisors' can get called.. Some people really hated being a lower level boss, or caught between management and people 'underneath'..
Sometimes, people might feel 'threatened' if you just work and don't talk to them, especially if perhaps they were not so very hardworking themselves.. (?) Or maybe they just misunderstood your frowns - maybe you were trying to concentrate and figure out how to stack things well..?
Could you ever talk to co-workers about other, unrelated things, like maybe the history of that place, how it all started, how long they have worked there, or any good stories, maybe even about where they get the funding etc? (If it's not all online yet...) Or just about the day and the weather, or stuff that comes in? Or how their weekend or previous day was? Maybe about their or your interests and hobbies? If you like a particular item, you could say it loud, if there's someone near: 'Wow, isn't this ________ amazing?'
It would give them and you a chance to get to know each other in a different way and talk about things you like, and so create some 'positive' feelings?
YAY for lasting 2 weeks!! (Or is it more?)
Anti Matter, it's Puma's life in action! New job, new things that come with it!!
Puma, I wish I had a job/real career that pays money right now too...
Hmm, are you sure you heard it right? Maybe you misunderstood? If people think you're cranky and you're not, could it be that you have a specific face expression? My mom looks like she's in a bad mood a lot of the time.. even when she's not..
Though maybe if you were uncomfortable around them, or didn't like the previous system, maybe you frowned and weren't even conscious of it?
For some people, maybe even suggesting new changes or questioning the 'status quo' can feel 'cranky'... Don't ask what people who get to be 'bosses' or 'supervisors' can get called.. Some people really hated being a lower level boss, or caught between management and people 'underneath'..
Sometimes, people might feel 'threatened' if you just work and don't talk to them, especially if perhaps they were not so very hardworking themselves.. (?) Or maybe they just misunderstood your frowns - maybe you were trying to concentrate and figure out how to stack things well..?
Could you ever talk to co-workers about other, unrelated things, like maybe the history of that place, how it all started, how long they have worked there, or any good stories, maybe even about where they get the funding etc? (If it's not all online yet...) Or just about the day and the weather, or stuff that comes in? Or how their weekend or previous day was? Maybe about their or your interests and hobbies? If you like a particular item, you could say it loud, if there's someone near: 'Wow, isn't this ________ amazing?'
It would give them and you a chance to get to know each other in a different way and talk about things you like, and so create some 'positive' feelings?
YAY for lasting 2 weeks!!
(Or is it more?) Anti Matter, it's Puma's life in action! New job, new things that come with it!!
Puma, I wish I had a job/real career that pays money right now too...
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
Wow that's the government for you. They'll do everything they can to not stick to their word... UGh. Feel for you, and am impressed that you've been working for so long!
That's a real disappointment
That's a real disappointment
