Through Cougar Eyes [Puma's journal]

[MikeyC]

Okay, so what I get from that is you like order and structure in your life? You're not the kind of person to wing it when something is different, I assume?

Why have these things that you need - hygiene, sound, etc. - changed for the worse? What's been going on? If you've mentioned them already somewhere, then I apologise because I haven't seen it.

Something to remember is that life is not a by-the-books drive. There are many twists, turns, potholes, lane changes, and other drivers flipping you the bird on your journey. To maintain such strict stability is close to impossible, since there will be times in your life (such as now) when things change. Maybe being open to change, and accepting/tolerating it, is the key to feel better and get back to being happy. Do you see a therapist?

 

[MikeyC]

Re: @ ''MikeyC''

It's complicated. It ranges from things being broken that I can't fix, to disrespectful invasiveness of others, to friction caused by other people's issues. It's not something worth going in on with too much detail.

But to name one of the more manageable examples; The shower: It has no functioning light, the shower head hangs by a thread (literally) and it floods into the kitchen all the time. I've done what I could to mend it, and begged and pleaded to those that have the skills to fix the more difficult things. Which, after two years, rendered little results. The only way these things get fixed at all, is if I pay out of my own pocket and take full initiative of everything. This is just one example of close to a dozen.

I live with three other people, I am the youngest inhabitant here, and this isn't my house. I manage these things where I can, but my influence/authority is limited. To an extent I have to bend to other people's destructive lifestyles.

If I lived on my own and could manage these things directly and swiftly, there would be no problem.


I know how it works, but I need a foundation. I can't function in a lifestyle that feels backwards to me if I don't have a foothold that feels natural and familiar. The routines are, for the time being, an essential part of my life. It's a deeply rooted problem, but it's not one I have been able to change or even identify the source of.

We're currently in the process of getting back into therapy. Maybe he/she will be able to shine a light on things.

If the four of you could potentially get the money together to get a professional to come and fix the shower, maybe that would be a better solution than simply begging someone there to fix it. If you're comfortable, maybe it's something you can bring up with the other three.

Other option is to move out. Can you afford it? Is it even a viable option? If you could find a place to move into on your own, that would be ideal, right? From there you could make your own foundations and schedules. In conjunction with therapy, I think that'd make a big difference for you.

 

[jc972]

I really like that idea. I hope it helps you. I'd say we're alike in that you sound very schedule oriented and organized.

 

[jc972]

Re: @ ''jc972''

Was that the quote you intended to post?

Wtf... how'd it do that? Yeah thsts not what i was trying to quote.

 

[jc972]

Re: @ ''jc972''

Don't worry about it, it was funny enough.

But thank you. I hope it works too. Do you personally use any schedules to help you suits the demand for order?

More like routines. Everything has to be done in the easiest, most efficient way. Like when i wake up on days i have to work, i have a whole system of getting out the door without forgetting anything. On the weekends we all clean the house and do chores before anything fun. I have a place for everything and i expect things in their places unless they are being used etc. If there's toys everywhere and clothes not put away ill have a meltdown but most of the time everything works smoothly.

 

[jc972]

That's how i like things done. Because i have 3 kids i had to slack off some to keep from having a stroke when things are misplaced and toys everywhere. But these days i concentrate on keeping my personal routines going and my things organized so that when one of the kids has lost a shoe or a toothbrush I'm like "that wouldn't happen if you'd do like me and keep things in certain places". I've noticed that its working. I figure if they see the logic of being organized and punctual they will be too. I can't be late to anything either. I always have to be early, never ever late.

 

[jc972]

Re: @ ''jc972''

Man, I have to say, a weekend cleaning army does sound quite nice. Since I don't have any kids, I was considering getting a Roomba vacuum robot.. but a quick look at the pricetag kind scared me off. Yikes.

I imagine that must've been quite a difficult transition in the beginning when you had your first, though. Or was it more a case of responsibility over personal need? I do notice that when my niece visits, I don't really care as much when she moves things that shouldn't be moved. Usually I'm glad she's so interested and exploring. Would you say it's similar in the long term?

I've pondered an off brand roomba. Much cheaper. It was a learning experience for me. A big one. Stuff being moved is fine... but when a collectible DVD has got teeth marks on it and is floating in the toilet water... i almost passed out. That's when i took a step back and said "ok, destroy your own stuff but I'm putting mine well out of your reach, kid." Long term the curiosity is great because they start acting more like me in the sense that now the older ones keep up with things and take better care of their possessions. Its just one big learning thing. But really, check out the cheaper roomba's. I heard they work great.