This is a support group .... ?

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

i guess it shouldn't be surprising that negative people tend to view positive encouragement as a negative thing

:idontknow:

Are you positive?

 

[Bo592]

That cool Odo thank for bring that up. Saying bad things about negative thoughts is a great way to get you turn off them and get you not wanting them less which is very helpful. Wanting to think positive is always a good thing.

 

[Bo592]

i guess it shouldn't be surprising that negative people tend to view positive encouragement as a negative thing

:idontknow:

yes, I agree I just want to help plus I love writing positive now. I feeling a weight left off of me as I write this thing to you guys.

 

[Kiwong]

But you're not really being positive-- you're being negative about negativity.

 

[HHDisturbed]

To Bo592:

I am in complete agreement with you on this. The power of positive thought is very powerful indeed. Unfortunately negativity has the same exact power in the opposite direction. (aka. power of attraction). Now you cannot simply force a person to be positive and happy...that person has to WANT to be happy and move forward in their life. Venting is usually the first step in this process.

The simple fact is that WE are truly the only ones holding ourselves back from happiness, security, career success, love, etc. If you keep saying you will never have any of the above then you have done nothing more than to sentence yourself to failure. That is nothing more than a self fulfilling prophecy. On the opposite side, if you are a positive person and believe in yourself then you unlock the power to achieve anything.

Do like I did long ago and decide to be stronger than your disorder(s) and to not be defined by them. It may not make it all go away but it will help to put our malfunctions in their proper place so we can actually live a life beyond them.

As I have said countless times...life is way too short to wallow in misery. No one can make us or our lives better but ourselves. You can decide to either be your own biggest ally or your own worst enemy. Choose wisely! There is no one else in the world that has the power to move you forward but YOU.

The alternative: Take the easy route, do nothing, continue to whine and vent the same crap day after day and remain in your present state. That is so much easier than taking the steps to make a positive difference. And hey, misery loves company so be sure to drag as many sad and helpless souls down with you because we all know that pity parties are so much fun!

 

[Bo592]

Having the urge to vent also means that you have the urge to communicate and the urge to practice art and the urge to start a journal . So I see venting is a powerful thing I guess you guys are further along then you think.

 

[Odo]

i guess it shouldn't be surprising that negative people tend to view positive encouragement as a negative thing

:idontknow:

There's a difference between saying 'you can get over this' and saying 'you're an annoying loser who can't get over their negativity'. There's also a difference between saying 'it's okay that you're being negative right now and I completely understand, vent away if it makes you feel better' and 'I'm not going to listen to your negative bullshit because it's irritating and it's bringing me down and I think you're a selfish twit for expecting me to listen to it'.

Positive encouragement involves helping someone to get over something, this is more like 'please don't bother anyone else with that shit'.

 

[coyote]

There's a difference between saying 'you can get over this' and saying 'you're an annoying loser who can't get over their negativity'. There's also a difference between saying 'it's okay that you're being negative right now and I completely understand, vent away if it makes you feel better' and 'I'm not going to listen to your negative bullshit because it's irritating and it's bringing me down and I think you're a selfish twit for expecting me to listen to it'.

Positive encouragement involves helping someone to get over something, this is more like 'please don't bother anyone else with that shit'.

but might not your mindset might influence how you interpret what is being said in the first place?

 

[HHDisturbed]

There's a difference between saying 'you can get over this' and saying 'you're an annoying loser who can't get over their negativity'. There's also a difference between saying 'it's okay that you're being negative right now and I completely understand, vent away if it makes you feel better' and 'I'm not going to listen to your negative bullshit because it's irritating and it's bringing me down and I think you're a selfish twit for expecting me to listen to it'.

Positive encouragement involves helping someone to get over something, this is more like 'please don't bother anyone else with that shit'.

Then my positivity and encouragement must make me seem like a real a-hole. Forgive me everyone. But coyote is right. I have been hammered on by quite a few just because of a positive thread or posts. Misery loves company and positivity is usually not welcome in that realm.

 

[Odo]

but might not your mindset might influence how you interpret what is being said in the first place?

That's what the internet is like. If someone isn't getting what you're saying, then maybe you should explain yourself better.

All I'm saying is that attacking and ostracizing negative people isn't the same as being positive.

 

[Odo]

I have been hammered on by quite a few just because of a positive thread or posts. Misery loves company and positivity is usually not welcome in that realm.

Are you talking about the thread where you were taking such delight in hunting? People weren't upset because of your positivity... though I don't suppose it helps when you can be so enthusiastic about something that so many people are opposed to.

I highly doubt that your problem is positivity.

 

[HHDisturbed]

Are you talking about the thread where you were taking such delight in hunting? People weren't upset because of your positivity... though I don't suppose it helps when you can be so enthusiastic about something that so many people are opposed to.

I highly doubt that your problem is positivity.

That was one of several. But in that post I was proud of achieving a difficult goal that took me years to achieve.

And thanks for the back hand on your way out the door.

 

[coyote]

That's what the internet is like. If someone isn't getting what you're saying, then maybe you should explain yourself better.

All I'm saying is that attacking and ostracizing negative people isn't the same as being positive.

i agree

what i'm saying is that negative people might see attacks where they don't always exist - due to their predisposition to see everything in a negative light to begin with

 

[coyote]

something i read recently...

from this blog: Hard-To-Swallow: The Physiology of Depression

The physiology of mood disorders is complicated, and not particularly well understood. What we do know comes from brain imaging and looking at the levels of different chemicals in the brain. There may be some long, confusing words you've never heard of here, but stick with it, because what this stuff tells us is important.

In unipolar depression, the physical problem is believed to be an imbalance of either serotonin, noradrenaline or dopamine in the brain; or two or all three of those. Exactly how we don't know, and the exact imbalance is probably different for everybody, but generally speaking, most people with depression have less serotonin, or noradrenaline in their brain than healthy people do. The pathophysiology of Bipolar Disorder is poorly understood, but it is probably linked to the same three neurotransmitters as well as some structural abnormalities in the amygdala, basal ganglia and prefrontal cortex.1

PET (Positron Emission Topography) and SPECT (Single Proton Emission Computed Topography) scans are two types of brain scans which show how active or inactive the different areas of the brain are. PET scans of depressed brains compared to normal ones show a significant reduction in overall brain activity. This is why everything seems ten times harder when you're depressed and why it's much harder to concentrate and remember things. People with depression are like cars running on half a tank of gas, or in some cases hardly any gas at all. You can barely get out of the driveway, let alone make it around the block. In other words, if you're depressed, you can't expect yourself to carry on with your normal life while you are ill. So give yourself a break!

In people with Bipolar Disorder, PET and SPECT imaging usually shows decreased activity in the prefrontal cortex, which is involved in emotion and planning, the amygdala, which is associated with mood regulation, and the hippocampus2. This may explain the intense highs and lows bipolar sufferers experience. Patients in the depressed phased of a cycle show very similar scan results to patients with unipolar depression. In the manic phase, imaging shows both left-right and dorso-ventral asymmetry in the basal temporal cortex. I have absolutely no idea what that means.

But whether you have any idea of what a basal temporal cortex is or not, the important thing to understand is that...

[in serious mental illness] Your brain is physically injured, and like any other part of the body that has received a physical injury, it needs the proper care to heal... The problem that far too many people have is that they can't see the injury, therefore it is not a real injury... - Jerod Poore, Crazy Meds 3

Whether you suffer from a mood disorder or not, you should know that they are genuine medical conditions with physical manifestations in the brain. Just because you can't see the physical problem, it doesn't mean that it's not there. If you could have one of those fancy brain scans yourself, you would see it. Use this information to accept the fact that you're ill, and you need rest and medical treatment. You're not weak or selfish or any of the other things people may accuse you of. You're not well. Got it? Good.

so while it might SEEM reasonable and rational to you to see only the bad things in your life, and to dwell on them endlessly, and to assume that everyone hates you, and to think that taking your own life is a valid solution...

maybe your thoughts are not as healthy as you think. and your own voice might not be the best one to listen to

:idontknow:

 

[Odo]

i agree

what i'm saying is that negative people might see attacks where they don't always exist - due to their predisposition to see everything in a negative light to begin with

Sometimes the problem is that people who don't know how to deal with other people think that their advice is great when it's actually just making things worse. It doesn't mean that negative people (or more accurately people in a negative mood/frame of mind) can't be reached-- it means that the people giving advice don't know how to help.

You can't just tell a sick person 'get better' and then that will be enough... you have to find the right medicine for their particular problem. I'm not saying that we all need to be professionals, just don't assume that you know the answer and that whenever your advice makes things worse it's because you're saying the right thing and the other person is just negative by nature or whatever

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I have seen numerous threads suggesting that an entire forum should think or act a certain way. Not just this on this forum, either. Regardless of whether the advice is good or bad, I have never seen such a thread achieve anything like the desired effect.

It's especially unlikely to work if you suggest that people do something difficult, or that they don't want to do already. A thread suggesting that people eat more pie might actually have some small effect. Maybe.

A less ambitious approach is something like http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/the-positive-thread-23626/page-69/ , where at least people contribute when they decide to, rather than being advised that they should.

Attempts at positive thinking are of course much less popular.

 

[coyote]

I have seen numerous threads suggesting that an entire forum should think or act a certain way. Not just this on this forum, either. Regardless of whether the advice is good or bad, I have never seen such a thread achieve anything like the desired effect.

It's especially unlikely to work if you suggest that people do something difficult, or that they don't want to do already. A thread suggesting that people eat more pie might actually have some small effect. Maybe.

A less ambitious approach is something like http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/the-positive-thread-23626/page-69/ , where at least people contribute when they decide to, rather than being advised that they should.

Attempts at positive thinking are of course much less popular.

i like pie :thumbup:

 

[awkwardamanda]

i guess it shouldn't be surprising that negative people tend to view positive encouragement as a negative thing

:idontknow:

This. Optimists don't seem to understand why pessimists don't just want to be positive like they do. Kinda like how extraverts don't get why introverts don't just want to be social like they are.

There's a difference between saying 'you can get over this' and saying 'you're an annoying loser who can't get over their negativity'. There's also a difference between saying 'it's okay that you're being negative right now and I completely understand, vent away if it makes you feel better' and 'I'm not going to listen to your negative bullshit because it's irritating and it's bringing me down and I think you're a selfish twit for expecting me to listen to it'.

Positive encouragement involves helping someone to get over something, this is more like 'please don't bother anyone else with that shit'.

There's also a difference between complaining in a forum where people can choose whether or not they want to listen, and having a personal conversation with someone in particular and expecting them to listen to your complaining.

 

[Agent_Violet]

Part of the reason I stopped coming here the way I used to is because it drags me down even more than I already can be sometimes.People here tend to wallow rather than seeking solutions. It's depressing.
Then they push down the people who attempt to offer solutions and advice bc they want to just continue wallowing in their sorrows and unfair hand they were dealt.It's easier that way for them.

 

[Kiwong]

I think there is a real mix of people on this site, some who are going through a really tough time, like I was when I first visited three years ago, and visit this site as a first step in having somewhere to talk about what they are experiencing. Some who have a very hard time seeing any hope for the future, but keep fighting anyway. There are others who are trying hard and really doing well despite adversity.

It is the last group of people who keep me coming to this site.