Niteowl
Well-known member
Anyone ever actually call you ugly, not behind your back? How did you come to hear about your friend doing that, anyway?
I had a friend in school who had a pretty high opinion of himself, and I swear not a week went by without him calling himself the "good looking one", or the "handsome one", in our friendship group and finding excuses to put us down for the way we all looked. We were basically the least popular kids in school, and he always used to complain that at least he alone should be popular, because he believed he was certainly good looking enough.
None of us cared though ― we knew that was just him. He was insecure [I don't mean that in a nasty way] and I imagine it felt good for him to think of himself as the "handsome one" - or to have any sort of label really. His family were pretty well-off, so he called himself the "rich one" too. He had some £30,000 in a trust account, so the rest of us were "poor". And I think that's what it was all about: he had the looks, he had the money, so he should have been popular. He seemed to use labels a lot, often "the ___ one". He was also "great". He definitely thought of "popular" as a label - that you either are, or are not.
I'm basically just saying, like other people said, that if people are calling you "ugly", then that's probably owing to their own insecurities. He criticized us all the time [as a friend, though - never intentionally nasty], for stuff like the way we dressed outside of school, and IMO it was all about reassuring himself that he SHOULD have been popular. That he wasn't was either down to the popular kids for not accepting him, or us for bringing down his image.
I agree that people are often judged on their looks, but there's no one set standard for who and what looks good. Some individuals might have called you "ugly" at some point, but that doesn't 'make you' ugly. Other people will find you attractive. I do believe that for many people, it's easier to criticize than to compliment. If no one's ever said nice things about the way you look, it doesn't mean people haven't thought them.
I had a friend in school who had a pretty high opinion of himself, and I swear not a week went by without him calling himself the "good looking one", or the "handsome one", in our friendship group and finding excuses to put us down for the way we all looked. We were basically the least popular kids in school, and he always used to complain that at least he alone should be popular, because he believed he was certainly good looking enough.
None of us cared though ― we knew that was just him. He was insecure [I don't mean that in a nasty way] and I imagine it felt good for him to think of himself as the "handsome one" - or to have any sort of label really. His family were pretty well-off, so he called himself the "rich one" too. He had some £30,000 in a trust account, so the rest of us were "poor". And I think that's what it was all about: he had the looks, he had the money, so he should have been popular. He seemed to use labels a lot, often "the ___ one". He was also "great". He definitely thought of "popular" as a label - that you either are, or are not.
I'm basically just saying, like other people said, that if people are calling you "ugly", then that's probably owing to their own insecurities. He criticized us all the time [as a friend, though - never intentionally nasty], for stuff like the way we dressed outside of school, and IMO it was all about reassuring himself that he SHOULD have been popular. That he wasn't was either down to the popular kids for not accepting him, or us for bringing down his image.
I agree that people are often judged on their looks, but there's no one set standard for who and what looks good. Some individuals might have called you "ugly" at some point, but that doesn't 'make you' ugly. Other people will find you attractive. I do believe that for many people, it's easier to criticize than to compliment. If no one's ever said nice things about the way you look, it doesn't mean people haven't thought them.
