the ugly friend

[goingcrazy]

I constantly feel that within the people I hang out with at school, I am the 'ugly friend'. By that I mean I feel as if I am the ugliest out of all of them. And the thing is, it is true. I have had a friend talk about me behind my back saying that out of us, I am the uglier one. I have even been egged, while a friend was spared because she was pretty and I wasn't. I act like it doesn't bother me, but truly, it hurts so much. It ruins my self esteem. I don't want to go places with my friends anymore, incase people look at me and say 'Ew, she is so ugly'. And guess what, that has happened before. I have done basically nothing with a guy, and it isn't because I am frigid. It is because no guy wants to do anything with me. It makes me feel disgusted with myself, and I find I can no longer love myself. And I know that 'you need to love yourself before others can love you', but truthfully, I don't really think that is true. And yeah looks aren't everything, but these days, a lot is is judged purely on looks. Does anyone else feel like this???

 

[coldhart]

yeah i feel a little bit inferior sometimes when i see beautiful face people, but i dont mind it anymore, this is how my parents brought me up to this world.. i have to accept the reality that i wear this mask.. what it matter is, the beauty that is inside that last.

 

[jaim38]

With some of my friends, I feel like I'm the ugly friend out of them all. They look better, dress better than me, have better social skills. Basically everything about them screams "I'm better". But nowadays, I care more about looking smart than looking pretty. Personally, being called stupid or dumb is even worse than being called ugly.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

@Goingcrazy. I bet you're more attractive than you think! Sounds like you run with a really superficial group of girls. Girls are worse than guys, they are so catty. Always comparing and gossiping behind one another's backs. Women seem to excel in emotional torment!

There's a guy out there for you! I guarantee it. The Kim Kardashian types are such a turn off for me. I'm not attracted to the soulless pretty face-not for a relationship, that's for sure!

Don't give up. Try a dating website! You will find a guy!!

 

[1BlackSheep]

Girls are worse than guys, they are so catty. Always comparing and gossiping behind one another's backs. Women seem to excel in emotional torment!

Amen to that! Sad, but often true.

The Kim Kardashian types are such a turn off for me. I'm not attracted to the soulless pretty face-not for a relationship, that's for sure!

Wait, what? Am I hearing correctly??? You're definitely in the minority, but bless your sweet little heart for saying so! :applause:

I used to be friends with a very pretty blonde girl, and every time we would go out I always felt like the ugly stepsister. We would go into stores and people would automatically say hello to her and ask if she needed help, and I'd get nothing! I always told her that I wish we could trade places for a day to experience life in each other's shoes. She'd probably not make it more than an hour being me - lol!

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Someone like Kim is soo Superficial that I just feel sick watching her. I'm not saying I'm not sexually attracted to a hot but superficial girl, I just don't see them as relationship material.

It's not like I'm an adonis myself. I just want a girl that's fun, honest and makes me smile. Someone who doesn't get all dolled up and just wears casual clothes and little to no make-up.

 

[1BlackSheep]

It's not like I'm an adonis myself. I just want a girl that's fun, honest and makes me smile. Someone who doesn't get all dolled up and just wears casual clothes and little to no make-up.

But what if she's fun, honest, and makes you smile but dresses up and wears make-up? Some of us aren't blessed with "natural beauty"!

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

But what if she's fun, honest, and makes you smile but dresses up and wears make-up? Some of us aren't blessed with "natural beauty"!

That's fine too! I just don't like the conceited (look at me) type. "I need to be worshiped by ALL men." Just a simple, faithful and down to earth girl.

 

[1BlackSheep]

That's fine too! I just don't like the conceited (look at me) type. "I need to be worshiped by ALL men." Just a simple, faithful and down to earth girl.

Yep, nothing worse than someone who always has to be the center of attention! I'm the complete opposite in that I don't want the spotlight focused on me AT ALL - unless it's the guy I'm with, then it's all about meeeeeee!!!

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Yep, nothing worse than someone who always has to be the center of attention! I'm the complete opposite in that I don't want the spotlight focused on me AT ALL - unless it's the guy I'm with, then it's all about meeeeeee!!!

When you're with a guy, all of his attention should be on you! That's the way it should be in my book!

 

[1BlackSheep]

When you're with a guy, all of his attention should be on you! That's the way it should be in my book!

And you don't have a girlfriend because why? They should be lining up at your doorstep!

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

And you don't have a girlfriend because why? They should be lining up at your doorstep!

Thanks! I have not pursued or been open to anyone. I really blew some nice opportunities. Good women do not wait! And now, my self esteem is lower than ever. If that was even possible!

 

[1BlackSheep]

Thanks! I have not pursued or been open to anyone. I really blew some nice opportunities. Good women do not wait! And now, my self esteem is lower than ever. If that was even possible!

Awwww, well hopefully you can get your mojo back because it sounds like there are a lot of great ladies out there who would love to date someone with your fine qualities!

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Awwww, well hopefully you can get your mojo back because it sounds like there are a lot of great ladies out there who would love to date someone with your fine qualities!

:: I'm terrible at receiving compliments. So, I'll just say thanks! You're very sweet!

 

[GhastlyCC]

Yeah,
I'm the ugly friend too.

My best/only friend has always been constantly told by everybody that he's handsome.
And people like to say that he looks like Johnny Depp.
He's never ANY trouble getting the girls he's been after.

And me?
People tell me that I look like a serial killer.
Or "somebody that would kill people"
:lol:

I'm sure you're just fine.
Pay no mind to people who feel the need to compare themselves to you in a negative way.
Their doing so is likely a sign of their own insecurities.
And Don't spend time comparing yourself to other people.
You'll never be happy doing that.
There will always be somebody more attractive,smarter,faster etc.
Everybody has a different idea of beauty.
Not everybody in the world would find the same person attractive.

 

[miserablecow]

I am one too, but I have just accepted it. Sigh

I'm sure you are pretty. We generally want things that others have and I think that goes with looks. But you will find that there will be someone out there who would like you and find you attractive.

(Sorry, if I don't make sense. I find it hard to explain things)

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

I am one too, but I have just accepted it. Sigh

I'm sure you are pretty. We generally want things that others have and I think that goes with looks. But you will find that there will be someone out there who would like you and find you attractive.

(Sorry, if I don't make sense. I find it hard to explain things)

You make sense! You're absolutely right!

 

[Starry]

Try not to feel bad about being "the ugly friend", everyone is uglier or prettier than someone, especially when you take into account that perceptions of beauty are not entirely objective. If your friends have spoken of you in that way, then it shows how superficial they are and proves that they are not true friends.

There's a guy out there for you! I guarantee it. The Kim Kardashian types are such a turn off for me. I'm not attracted to the soulless pretty face-not for a relationship, that's for sure!

Wait, what? Am I hearing correctly??? You're definitely in the minority, but bless your sweet little heart for saying so! :applause:

He's not so much of a minority as you may think... My husband also can't stand the vast majority of "celebrities" (that he is aware of - both of us are very, very unknowledgeable of "celebrities" as we pay no attention to that sort of thing) he finds them fake and ugly. And there are other men I've read of who feel similarly, while they are the minority, you just don't hear of them so much because you're much more likely to hear of people raving on about someone than people who are not raving on about anyone...

 

[JohnDee]

I particularly don't care much about looks, its their emotional and intellectual Intelligence that i like. Beauty is superficial and fades with age, a good mind however....priceless.

 

[Phoenixx]

I can totally relate, goingcrazy. I've had most of those things happen to me before too, especially growing up throughout high school. People would literally call me ugly to my face, laugh at me, tease me, etc. etc. I have gotten the whole "Ew, she's ugly." taunts and even a couple jokes where guys would ask one another, "Hey why don't you take her to the dance?" and then they'd laugh. (Not that I was interested in dances anyway. I hated them and the only few I went to was because I worked concessions for the Yearbook club.) High school was torture. It was bad enough I started out with little self-esteem anyway. High school basically brought me to just about hate what I see. While I do look better now than I did a few years ago, I still can't even bring myself to love my looks. I still consider myself the unattractive one out of my two friends.

In your group of friends, if they're saying that stuff about you behind your back, then are they really your friends? I know it's easy to stick with those people, especially if you're feeling lonely, but maybe you should push yourself to find other people to familiarize with and start new connections. There must be at least ONE person in your school that actually cares about people for who they are and not judge by what they look like. As for me, I found two of those types of people back in the beginning of high school, after cutting ties with a couple of "friends" that did nothing but tease me and tried to push me into doing drugs and alcohol with them. (Which I always said no -- remember that) We're still friends, our own little trio, and have been for the last 7 years. I do think I got kinda lucky, but still it really does not hurt to try.

Girls are worse than guys, they are so catty.

^ I slightly disagree, rather the phrase really should be, "Girls can be worse than guys." and of course vice versa. I know most girls can be exceptionally catty and gossipy at times, but there are some that are not like that and I'm so glad neither of my girl friends are, and nor am I. My friends never judged me on how I looked or talked about any other girls and how they looked, their lives, etc. I always found that talk to be quite ridiculous myself and I don't even know why most girls do it. :idontknow: Also guys, especially in high school, can be just as bad as girls with gossiping and calling out to other girls on their looks. It's happened to me before quite a few times, as I mentioned, and I've seen it happen to other girls too.