the older generation

[Section_31]

Has anyone else noticed that the baby boomer gen and some after them, alot seem to be very insensitive to the possibility of mental illness.....wait, insensitive is a bad word, maybe ignorant of, as in just plain not knowing about it, or believing in it?.

Ive seen this attitude in quite a large number of older people i know. Now, im sure there are some on here, and i by no means am trying to paint everyone with the same brush as it were..

Ive just noticed this trend in the older generation and dont understand why.

thoughts?

 

[Deardiary]

Prior to the internet, you could not discuss it anonymously. So the older generation never really had a place to talk about these things. I went to high school before we had forums like this and I grew up thinking I was the only person in the universe like this. So if you didn't have these issues, these things never entered your mind.

 

[Section_31]

Hey diary,

Thanks for your reply. I appreciate it.

What i would like to know, is why did no one talk about these sorts of things?. What exactly made it a "taboo" topic?. Im not trying to critisize another era, just trying to understand better.

Where did that mindset come from?

 

[Deardiary]

I guess if you talk about it, you're admitting you have an issue. And no one really wants to look bad. If you're having thoughts you feel are crazy then you don't discuss it with your friends or you'll get ostracized. Or if you have a social phobia... you're already isolated. So it just feeds on itself and becomes this big secret you never talk about.

Now when you find a forum where others talk about these things, you realize you're not alone. I think younger people today can seek out and find others with similar issues for support. And they're more likely to tell family members or discuss it online where other people see. I never had that when I was younger. I really thought I was the only person in the universe (literally) who had my issues. It was very difficult for me to ask for help. Wasn't until I was around 28 that I even went to a psychologist and I felt humilated at doing so. I see posts now where people say they tell their friend or family about their issues and I feel really jealous. I could never do that. But today it seems people are more willing to talk about these things.

 

[panicsurvivor]

I think that the modern days have made us harder about some things and softer about others. The further back you go, the more self sufficient people were. Not to mention brutal, in a lot of ways. Anxiety, is fear. They would say, stop being afraid. Period. People now don't have to worry about the elements and living off the land and such. At least in the modern countries. Even poor people in most countries have it pretty good as far as eating, sleeping in a warm bed, plumbing. Take away the challenge of that and the mind wanders. So much of what is important in the world today, is actually not really important, and yet it drives people insane trying to attain these important things. I guess people from older Generations probably look at us with a bit of contempt, because we sit comfortably behind our computers with a latte in one hand and a cookie in the other and complain about how we are unhappy. I don't really blame them actually. I would probably feel the same way if I was them.

 

[coyote]

i'm not sure if I qualify for the older generation or not - i turned 47 yesterday

i'm an intelligent, educated person, and fairly socially progressive - i'm no caveman

there is a history of mental and emotional problems in my family - it wasn't really discussed openly when i was a kid, but it was something that i was aware of even when i was pretty young

however, as an adult, in the circle of people that i know who are my age or older, even much older - mental illness, mood disorders, and anxiety disorders are discussed quite candidly, although few people will tell you they suffer from them unless you're close to them. but it's not uncommon to talk to people who have seen a therapist or counselor for one reason or another

maybe it's a difference in geography, or just different social circles

but I personally don't sense that there is as much of a stigma as there used to be - regardless of the age of the people involved

 

[Feathers]

hm, I think some of them really don't understand it - especially the sa

I think there was less of it in the old days... Older ladies (80+) have told me how they worked a lot in the field together, or in the winter they had silly tasks like un-peeling (right word?) pumpkinseeds (they had a lot of FUN! doing that!) or walnuts and they had no TV or radio so people were basically interacting A LOT more... and it's easy to talk while working together (way easier than 'just talking'...) and if a lot of people do the same stuff together it's easier to do it...
our society has become way more individualized, in many cases... everyone behind their computer...

Computers are great, they can also make things worse if used too much (depression-wise etc) and 'modern lifestyle' can make things worse too... environment is different than it was... gardening/physical work can make you 'exhausted' but cheerful, some boomers don't understand the 'concept' of 'mental work'... (and may have self-treated with alcohol and/or workaholism or such...)

Some 'Boomer kids' have been spoilt already to some degree (I didn't come up with this, a lady Boomer did!), and they grew up in a very different world too... they were the 'gung ho' generation, rebuilding the world after WWII... (at least here)

My dad was shy and a bit anxious too, Grandma and mum also had anxiety, but they 'didn't let it stop them' and their attitude is it shouldn't stop others either...
I've met some boomer generation with big mental problems (schizophrenia and such) and they didn't let it stop them either - they had careers, got married, had kids... The world was a different place then though...

Mum took some herbal pills 'for the nerves' - maybe if you re-phrase it as something to do with 'the nerves' they will understand it better? Mostly, many at 50+ may be preoccupied with 'real illnesses/conditions' and may have health problems etc so it's difficult to understand anything might be a problem if you 'look healthy'...

Coyote, I think you're the younger end of older generation, if anything! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

 

[coyote]

^if i remember, Feathers, you're also from a largely rural, small-townish area, right?

i really think it has something to do with geography or social spheres

the "boomers" and even older people i know are mostly fairly cosmopolitan urban-dwellers with a pretty expansive world-view

HAVING a mental-illnesses - particularly depression or anxiety - isn't looked down upon

not doing anything about it IS

 

[cloudbound]

It really wasn't that long ago that people with mental illness were sent away to an asylum never to be seen or spoken about again by the general public. People that are still alive now, infact. They were hidden away like lepers. That goes for anyone with any mental illness, I saw on a documentary a woman was locked away for most of her life and given electric shock treatments and the illness she suffered with was panic attacks.

So I don't blame them for their ignorance, it was simply divided by crazy and sane, and the crazies were the dirty part of society. Kind of black and white really, but people are a product of their environment.

 

[Feathers]

Coyote, yup, didn't think Calgary was a small town tho?

You may be on to something... also in general in cities there have been more health problems, possibly more mental health problems too...

In a rural small-town you may get whispered about people who 'have had trouble with the nerves' and yeah it's considered something 'inferior', usually it's said about people with pretty full-blown problems, who were actually sent for treatment to a mental health hospital and have been on meds, possibly retired because of this, like on 'disability', or such... otherwise it's just not spoken about... (unless you have a relative or good friend or something... who might have problems or close to someone with a problem)

CB, what you said is a valid point too... There have been different approaches to this through the decades...

 

[BlueDays]

It really wasn't that long ago that people with mental illness were sent away to an asylum never to be seen or spoken about again by the general public. People that are still alive now, infact. They were hidden away like lepers. That goes for anyone with any mental illness, I saw on a documentary a woman was locked away for most of her life and given electric shock treatments and the illness she suffered with was panic attacks.

So I don't blame them for their ignorance, it was simply divided by crazy and sane, and the crazies were the dirty part of society. Kind of black and white really, but people are a product of their environment.

^ good point.

Mental illness was hidden in many families and swept under the carpet like a dirty secret. The whole idea of it being associated with "weakness" also conrtibuted to the baby boomer generation denying it's existance. People were expected to "tough it out" and pretend there was not a problem.

 

[Section_31]

My wifes parents are like this, yet my FIL suffers from PTSD...apparently "thats different" as he says.

Just confuses the heck out of me at times. But, every gen has its quirks.

And im confused, feathers, you live in calgary?? i thought you were in europe :S

 

[coyote]

...And im confused, feathers, you live in calgary?? i thought you were in europe :S

canada is the europe of north america

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

canada is the europe of north america

haha


~ things were different 'back in the day'
Alcoholism was a big problem but it was kept hidden out in the open. People didn't talk about it.
No one talked about rape or abortion or abuse-- or mental illnesses. It just wasn't something you'd tell people about or even talk about in your own family.
It's the stigma.
That stigma is going away now that we're more open about things but it's still there for alot of people. Many people don't understand or refuse to think of mental illnesses/addictions as actual problems.
The kind of people who say; 'oh, suck it up! What's the big deal? Just be normal!'

Maybe in 20 years from now there won't be much of that attitude left... but like they say, maybe something similar to; 'you can't teach an old dog new tricks' - some people are stuck in their ways. They are comfortable thinking that they know everything and would rather close their eyes and ears than open them and be in shock at how different reality is from how they thought.

 

[Richey]

I think that the argument is that the baby boomer generation aren't happy that so many neurosis of behaviour these days are being validated as an actual medical condition that can be used as an excuse to continue behaving a certain way, through validation. Something that wasn't normal to them growing up and that has become more intensified and normalised over the last 20 or so years. I can completely understand their argument but on the other hand I don't understand the lack of empathy to help, rather then being patronising and rude about it why not use those wise years of experience to handle it with a bit more dignity and patience.

 

[Section_31]

My big thing is, ive been told my some who just dont plain get it, or dont WANT to get it, that its "all in my head" and i need to "toughen up, and push through it" or being told that im too thin skinned.

umm...excuse me. Dont you think if i COULD do those things, i would have by now?. I dont think any of us ENJOY going through what we do.

When those things get said, it does 2 things, really P**ses me off to no end, as well as hurts. And i just dont get why someone would think that way, and come off as so callous towards another human being who just needs some help.

Im glad not all older people are like this, and again, this post isnt meant in any way to be an attack on anyone. its just an observation.

Coyote: your 47 yrs young!. not old by a day sir!

 

[TheSanctuarian]

It's funny, people have been condemning things they don't understand for centuries. But even my own mum, when I started to get panic attacks she just said that I needed to "get a grip" wich, as you can imagine, isn't particularly helpful to a young teenager whilst he is hyperventilating.

 

[MollyBeGood]

Has anyone else noticed that the baby boomer gen and some after them, alot seem to be very insensitive to the possibility of mental illness.....wait, insensitive is a bad word, maybe ignorant of, as in just plain not knowing about it, or believing in it?.

Ive seen this attitude in quite a large number of older people i know. Now, im sure there are some on here, and i by no means am trying to paint everyone with the same brush as it were..

Ive just noticed this trend in the older generation and dont understand why.

thoughts?

My Dad was very depressed. My Mom denied it fiercely, and acts like me mentioning it was awful of me so I dropped it but he was depressed and he actually sought help for it but it was too late.
It really bothers me so much the denial of mental illness by my family. I can't even begin to describe the feelings I get when I think of this fact.
They deny so many things, older people..with age you just don't take in new ideas anymore, you get this pride thing and think anyone younger is less intelligent, when really, when a person stops learning and taking in new ideas they become pretty lame and dumb for lack of a better word, imo.

 

[doubleM]

mental illness like we have today was less common back in the old days i think. we have much more today than then. it has a lot to do with the great change in our diets, farming, chemicals, medication, etc. usually when someone had it they kept it hidden or were left to themselves. some were even thought to be possessed by the devil.
my dad is from that generation and he tends to be really insensitive and stubborn. he watched too many john wayne movies growing up i think. he doesnt seem to understand the things i struggle with. i am similar to him, but i am a more sensitive person i guess.

 

[MollyBeGood]

mental illness like we have today was less common back in the old days i think. we have much more today than then. it has a lot to do with the great change in our diets, farming, chemicals, medication, etc. usually when someone had it they kept it hidden or were left to themselves. some were even thought to be possessed by the devil.
my dad is from that generation and he tends to be really insensitive and stubborn. he watched too many john wayne movies growing up i think. he doesnt seem to understand the things i struggle with. i am similar to him, but i am a more sensitive person i guess.

Yeah there is much less stigma attached to having mental issues today. I am sure that shows like Oprah and Dr. Phil have helped bring light to so much of it and also the drug companies, which I don't like meds but they definitely have made it acceptable to pop a prozac or paxil. There's just so much advertising pushing magic pills for everything anymore.
30 yrs ago was really a different world.
True also most were locked away, hidden and never talked about-so many stories out there of families who did that.