The "I should have said" thread.

[Bustn Justin]

I used to be real afriad of standing up to others when they make me feel like crap. I would keep it to myself and bottle it up and eventually explode.

I am now starting to tell people when they say mean things or being inconsiderate I tell them politely that "that's not cool what you are doing".

Said that to one of my friends the other night and was so glad to get that off my chest. Helps me with my anger as well.

 

[Untamed88]

A lady at work yelled at me today because she had to wait in a queue of literally about two people. I wish I could have said something constructive back. I just took it and walked off. She shouldn't have spoken to me like that.

 

[emerald_star733]

omg Emerald, I was SO touched by your story. That nearly made me cry. ::

Thank you Brooklynn, i am touched that you were touched::

 

[LookingForward]

gotta remember to not post when I'm sauced...

 

[shyguyxv]

so i "should" have said how i really felt.. is my advice to you all..

I am truly sorry to hear about your loss and about your ex being so cruel.

Your advice is very true and I wish I had heeded it myself pretty recently.
I regret --very strongly-- not voicing my feelings toward my roommate months ago, when we first moved together and our chemistry seemed to be so in sync. Before then I never really thought of her in any way more than a friend, but as we spent more time together I started seeing her in a new light and just took her for granted.

Now she is dating someone for the first time in over a year and is spending so much time with him that I barely see her even though we rent the same house. I miss her dearly and every glance of her I take I wonder what could have been and feel like there is a knife sticking in my heart.

-Don

 

[DanFC]

I liked you a lot, I would have liked to have known you better, you are a very attractive person, both on the outside and inside.

 

[Aussie_Lad]

Thank you so much for your heartfelt thoughts. I truly am ok now, this was many years ago(almost 10). I am in a much better situation now. Love will always find you again if you believe in it. That situation will always haunt me though, i just wish i have of told him the truth, even if he would have died anyway at least he would have known that i still loved him.. but i guess love never really dies... it just grows, transforms and gets found again in new ways.. thank you for sharing your story too, that would have been so sad about your dad, i am so sorry for your loss as well. hugs to you beautiful soul

Emarald star, I know that you are a spiritual person so I am guessing you know a little about Pyschic Mediums etc?

One thing I have learned is that after we die, our spirit has a greater knowledge than when we alive on Earth. If there is a love connection there, even if it is not expressed in words, then he will know. You may even meet up with him again when you eventually cross over to the other side.

 

[Wishmaster]

"Your words will never hurt me, if that's your goal."

 

[Hastings & Main]

Got a fresh one, only happened a couple of hours ago. Been working as a software developer in the same company for a while now, a few years ago a girl joined our team, an incredibly beautiful Swedish brunette girl that normally would just tick all my hedonistic boxes but turns out she’s a wonderful person too. I was married at the time so acknowledged her beauty in the back of my mind but thought nothing more of it because I'm a very devoted and loyal partner and would never let anything interfere with my love for the one I am with.
But I'm separated now (and feeling more than a little lonely), and tonight we had a company outing, meal and drinks, the usual. I hadn’t thought about her in a while, (because of my insane loyalty), even though I see her every day… but tonight she walked in to the restaurant and I was transfixed, she was perfection, I couldn’t take my eyes of her, so elegant, so beautiful…
I know in the back of mind I’ve always been very attracted to her no matter how I’ve tried to deny it. Anyway, later on in the evening I was in a circle chatting with a few of my workmates (all male). She pushed her way in, broke the circle, and positioned herself directly in front of me. She chatted about general stuff with the guys for a little while, which they loved (did I mention how stunning she is), every now and then she’d look over and glance at me, which I took as nothing, never imagined she’d have much interest in me…
Then it happened, she looked at me, and not just looked, (and this is not an SA infatuation thing, I know when a woman looks at me), her expression was so blatant, it was “I am putting myself here for you, please talk to me, I so want to talk to you”. I’ve always had a suspension that she liked me a little, but I think that my separation from my ex may have become public knowledge and maybe she knew that I was now single.
Anyway, long story short, I crapped it… My self-esteem is so low at the moment that I couldn’t accept the fact that she may like me, and I put my drink down and went to the toilets to compose myself for a moment… what a tool… she’s a wonderful beautiful girl who has always made it clear that she likes me, but I am such a stupid mess that I feel I can’t let her meet me because I feel that I will only let her down by being me… bo!!ox, sh!te, fu(k, crap, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Man, I feel for you.
I say don't let this set you back - go after her at the office, make an apology, whatever it takes, but take the chance!


Me? I should've said ANYTHING to the Bettie Page lookalike who noticed me awestruck by her in a store a few years back instead of avoiding her eyes like she was a cop.

 

[emerald_star733]

I am truly sorry to hear about your loss and about your ex being so cruel.

Your advice is very true and I wish I had heeded it myself pretty recently.
I regret --very strongly-- not voicing my feelings toward my roommate months ago, when we first moved together and our chemistry seemed to be so in sync. Before then I never really thought of her in any way more than a friend, but as we spent more time together I started seeing her in a new light and just took her for granted.

Now she is dating someone for the first time in over a year and is spending so much time with him that I barely see her even though we rent the same house. I miss her dearly and every glance of her I take I wonder what could have been and feel like there is a knife sticking in my heart.

-Don

Thank you for your comments, and aww that is so sad about your situation too.. i guess if it is meant to be , it will be for you and her.. let time run its course.. i will send your situation good thoughts in hope for a good outcome

 

[emerald_star733]

Emarald star, I know that you are a spiritual person so I am guessing you know a little about Pyschic Mediums etc?

One thing I have learned is that after we die, our spirit has a greater knowledge than when we alive on Earth. If there is a love connection there, even if it is not expressed in words, then he will know. You may even meet up with him again when you eventually cross over to the other side.

it is interesting that you say this, ... shortly after he died... before once again crying myself to sleep i asked him if he still loved me... and then fell asleep.. and that night i had a dream that i saw him in a crowd of people at the fair grounds in my hometown, and he said remember the fairgrounds.. and i woke up thinking what the heck is he talking about.. and then later in the day i remembered that in highschool he wrote that he will love me forever under the stands at the fairgrounds.... .. life and love are very mysterious... thank you for your thoughts

 

[Shift]

Not so much "I should have said" as "I should have punched that person in the face."

I guess when I'm in a bad situation or being bullied, my initial response is to get away as quickly as possible. Then later when I think about what happened to me, I get angry.

 

[goldenholds]

I should have said something. I should have said everything. I thought I had said enough, I tried to finish, yet I barely said anything compared to the enormity of what I felt. In truth, it is still unfinished, and yet I don't know either how to begin or even that I should.

Still, here is something:

"I did not want or intend to thank her, not the first time, nor the second. I was just so anxious and frozen that I could not turn my neck, and she just happened to be the one standing in front of me."

"I should have told you, before I had time to smile I saw you were not feeling well and I frowned, worried, and made you sad."

And to the Emerald Star, I am sorry for your pain and loss, and am glad you have found happiness again. Thank you for sharing your story and showing me how fortunate I really am. It's the streets of london after all.

 

[UnofficiallyMe]

Shift,

That is normal, I was that way when I was gettin bullied. I would resort to anger sometimes and fight back and then the school would just get me in trouble.

It seems today they are stricter on that kind of thing but that does not make it any better. They, not you, are wrong.
You are not wrong. It is not okay. EVER. to bully, to berate, to belittle.

have hope, know it will end. know they are wrong. i wish i could protect you but only you can do that. focus on making yourself mentally stronger. Do not let the hate turn you. be yourself, always. or you will regret it. do not sell you.

Today is a new day and yeseterday is dead.

i hope i helped.

 

[Aussie_Lad]

it is interesting that you say this, ... shortly after he died... before once again crying myself to sleep i asked him if he still loved me... and then fell asleep.. and that night i had a dream that i saw him in a crowd of people at the fair grounds in my hometown, and he said remember the fairgrounds.. and i woke up thinking what the heck is he talking about.. and then later in the day i remembered that in highschool he wrote that he will love me forever under the stands at the fairgrounds.... .. life and love are very mysterious... thank you for your thoughts

Yes dreams can be very powerful things when you pay attention to them. People often see their loved ones that have passed, in dreams. Sometimes they come through to pass on a message or simply to let you know that they are doing okay. When I saw a dead friend of mine in a dream, I had a great feeling of peace after I woke. I think people get that same feeling when they die.

 

[BlueDays]

Not so much "I should have said" as "I should have punched that person in the face."

I guess when I'm in a bad situation or being bullied, my initial response is to get away as quickly as possible. Then later when I think about what happened to me, I get angry.

^This!! My therapist once said to me "If you could go back in time to face your bullies now, what would you say to them"?....

I immediately replied..."I would punch them in the face"!!

 

[BlackPuma]

^ I think on here the ''People I should- and would bluntly punch in the face''-list is rather long for every one of us. I know mine is. :B

I'm not a supporter of violence in general, but some people just deserve it.

 

[BlueDays]

...I'm not a supporter of violence in general, but some people just deserve it.

Exactly!!

 

[Shift]

You guys make me smile.

I start up a new quarter in January; hopefully that means a whole new set of people to take classes with, so I probably won't see the group of people who were bothering me ever again. Unless, you know, I'm the unluckiest person in the world.

I really do need to work on standing up for myself more though.

 

[UnofficiallyMe]

i remember the pain.. i am sorry. really. i remember the pain, and oh how it hurt
it scared deep.

There is nothing wrong with you, its them! okay! have faith, they will go way

though it may not be much, you have friends here... at least in me!