That's it. I can't do this crap anymore.

[Anti Matter]

I don't know if anyone remembers my previous post a few months ago...

Still, I'll try and re cap. On my last post I explained how my dad was hitting the booze almost everyday thanks to "complications" and the "unexpected burden" as he likes to put it. I've tried for months to help him to get him off the drink but to no avial, I've gone round almost everyday to see him, spend time with him and go out with him. I work a 10-11 hour shift, get little sleep and still see him for a few hours. After a discussion the other day about life in general a nice little statement came out saying I was the cause of my mothers death. "I crushed her soul with disappointment and stained her heart with a lost cause" as he put it. Why in Gods name are people...(yes, he's a person now not family) so messed up in the head? I've done everything I can to help. I've tried to become something else my parents didn't want for me, to stand on my own God damn two feet and for what? This?

Screw family, screw people and screw friends. This forum has listened to me more than anyone I know and I hardly post on here anymore because I dont really have the time. Just goes to show, people that are closer to you in real life are Ignorant selfish pieces of.....

Yeah anyway.

Rant over.

 

[Beatrice]

I wish I had good advice.... but, I know how you feel. My family's full of *******s too.

 

[Bustn Justin]

Hey,

I am so sorry that your father said that **** to you. Sounds like he wants to blame his problems on you instead of dealing with them.

However just be who you are and the right people will come around. Being what your parents want you to be will make you miserable forever.

 

[Anti Matter]

I wish I had good advice.... but, I know how you feel. My family's full of *******s too.

Screw it, I have no family now.

Hey,

I am so sorry that your father said that **** to you. Sounds like he wants to blame his problems on you instead of dealing with them.

However just be who you are and the right people will come around. Being what your parents want you to be will make you miserable forever.

I am something completely different to what they wanted me to be. Thus my mother dying an early death as he tells me. Nevermind though. Life is meant to be lived, not living someone elses dream. No matter how much you can get hurt by it.

 

[Jack Blue]

I am so, so sorry to hear this, it really makes me sad to think of what you are going through. For your own dad to say something like that to you is just a heartless thing to do, PLEASE don't internalize any of that stuff he says to you. I'm curious, do you know if your dad has a personality disorder or a mental disorder? I know you said he is an alcoholic, but if he is saying some of these things to you while he is sober he needs a lot of help.. glad you are trying your hardest to make a difference though =/ Feel free to message me in chat, I don't have all the answers, but sometimes it is just nice to have someone to talk with. Best of luck

 

[Shant]

Screw it, I have no family now.



I am something completely different to what they wanted me to be. Thus my mother dying an early death as he tells me. Nevermind though. Life is meant to be lived, not living someone elses dream. No matter how much you can get hurt by it.

I obviously have no knowledge of the situation, but unless your mother personally told you that you were a disappointment to her (rather than what your father says; and if he's drinking a lot then his clarity and reason might not be so great anyways), what your father says has little to no value.

While I'm hardly one to talk in saying this, your family, or anyone's family for that matter, is not something you can use to measure how other people are. How your family treats you is not how other people are necessarily going to treat you. I'd be lying if I said everyone outside of your house is better, but not everyone will be as bad.

A lot of us, and well, a lot of people, don't turn out to be the way their parents wanted. And some have parents who take this all right, and some who take offense to this - clearly your situation is in the latter, but there are others who know what it's like, so you're not alone there - It's good that you realize that your life is *your* life, though.

 

[Anti Matter]

I am so, so sorry to hear this, it really makes me sad to think of what you are going through. For your own dad to say something like that to you is just a heartless thing to do, PLEASE don't internalize any of that stuff he says to you. I'm curious, do you know if your dad has a personality disorder or a mental disorder? I know you said he is an alcoholic, but if he is saying some of these things to you while he is sober he needs a lot of help.. glad you are trying your hardest to make a difference though =/ Feel free to message me in chat, I don't have all the answers, but sometimes it is just nice to have someone to talk with. Best of luck

Thats the last thing he will say to me anyway. He's pretty much dead to me now, nothing he says can screw with my head anymore. I'm not sure if he has a mental disorder, in fact I don't actually care about him and his state anymore. After months of trying to help him, listening to him and treating him as a father it's all come to this. At least my path in life is clear now.

Thank you.

I obviously have no knowledge of the situation, but unless your mother personally told you that you were a disappointment to her (rather than what your father says; and if he's drinking a lot then his clarity and reason might not be so great anyways), what your father says has little to no value.

While I'm hardly one to talk in saying this, your family, or anyone's family for that matter, is not something you can use to measure how other people are. How your family treats you is not how other people are necessarily going to treat you. I'd be lying if I said everyone outside of your house is better, but not everyone will be as bad.

A lot of us, and well, a lot of people, don't turn out to be the way their parents wanted. And some have parents who take this all right, and some who take offense to this - clearly your situation is in the latter, but there are others who know what it's like, so you're not alone there - It's good that you realize that your life is *your* life, though.

My mother never told me personally those exact words but she was disappointed in me, she did tell me that. The reason why I said "Screw people" is because no one I know usually gives me the time of day to talk. It's either "Yeah...um....I'm pretty busy cooking, call back later?" Then they never pick up or "Yeah...erm....What did you say your dad did?" Etc Etc. I don't judge people off my experience with my family. I just judge their ignorance and selfishness which is clearly displayed.

I will listen to anyones problems but these "friends or people" wont.

 

[Bustn Justin]

Screw it, I have no family now.



I am something completely different to what they wanted me to be. Thus my mother dying an early death as he tells me. Nevermind though. Life is meant to be lived, not living someone elses dream. No matter how much you can get hurt by it.

Great to hear man. The hurt will go away if you true to you.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

Sorry to hear that you are still having problems with this - you don't choose your family
Yours sounds pretty stuck-up if I can say that, I mean if they cannot even open their mind small enough to let you do another career than what they have decided for you...
I hope you at least live on your own so you don't have to deal with them all the time,
and in fact if your father tells you such horrible things, probably the less you see him the best it is for you,
and maybe time will give him the tiny bit of wisdom that he needs to get over it.
In the meantime just try to be in peace, you seem like you are doing very well in spite of whatever your family thinks
But again... I'm judging the situation from your point of view - maybe you ARE a terrible person!! Just kidding. I don't think it's possible.

 

[Anti Matter]

Sorry to hear that you are still having problems with this - you don't choose your family
Yours sounds pretty stuck-up if I can say that, I mean if they cannot even open their mind small enough to let you do another career than what they have decided for you...
I hope you at least live on your own so you don't have to deal with them all the time,
and in fact if your father tells you such horrible things, probably the less you see him the best it is for you,
and maybe time will give him the tiny bit of wisdom that he needs to get over it.
In the meantime just try to be in peace, you seem like you are doing very well in spite of whatever your family thinks
But again... I'm judging the situation from your point of view - maybe you ARE a terrible person!! Just kidding. I don't think it's possible.

I think the phrase "Stuck up" is giving them way too much credit haha. Yeah the only person I live with is my pet Siberian Husky. Tbh he's listened to my problems over and over, think he's pretty bored with it untill I take him for a walk ::

I don't know what will happen to my supposed dad. One thing is for sure though, he isn't the person I once thought he was. Thank you for the reply once again. I think I am at peace now knowing I just have to look after myself. Also, terrible person? Yup only in crowds. ::

i can't get how grown up people actually think that their children are disappointment and blame the child for the failure. for Christ's sake! you raised us people and we reflect exactly what you fed us since we were born.

This is why I've given up. Screwed up isn't it?

 

[Anti Matter]

i finally did the same about a year ago, and it's been a long journey of thinking should i help my dad or help myself since i was about 13 and feel released and complete now.

I hope I can fully feel the same in the near future.

 

[MsBuzzkillington]

Well if you ever want to flee the country, you'll always have a place to stay here. America isn't all bad...

 

[Anti Matter]

Well if you ever want to flee the country, you'll always have a place to stay here. America isn't all bad...

Haha, I may just do that one day. Last time I went abroad was to Amsterdam....

 

[Darryl]

I am something completely different to what they wanted me to be. Life is meant to be lived, not living someone elses dream. No matter how much you can get hurt by it.

Anti Matter you ARE a amazing person, the inner mental strength to hold a 8-10 hour day job, to find the time to help someone out who doesn't want to be helped, sure it went pear shaped (understatement) but you have proved yourself as one extra special person.

Your friends, family are extremely lucky to have you in their lives.
Yes, you have moved on or giving your father his own time to see his errors, and you have gone over and above to care but now its time for you to heal.

The part that I find sad is yours friends and family are everyday people and don't have the gift that we have, which is we see the heart.

There has been a few things written and people on this site which I will never forget.... you are one of these people.

Darryl

 

[Anti Matter]

Anti Matter you ARE a amazing person, the inner mental strength to hold a 8-10 hour day job, to find the time to help someone out who doesn't want to be helped, sure it went pear shaped (understatement) but you have proved yourself as one extra special person.

Your friends, family are extremely lucky to have you in their lives.
Yes, you have moved on or giving your father his own time to see his errors, and you have gone over and above to care but now its time for you to heal.

The part that I find sad is yours friends and family are everyday people and don't have the gift that we have, which is we see the heart.

There has been a few things written and people on this site which I will never forget.... you are one of these people.

Darryl

Well, I don't know what to say....Thank you.

All I can say is I wish there were more people like you in this screwed up place. I have no family now but the people in the future I meet, I hope they are alot like you man. I won't forget this statement.

Thank you.

 

[Nanita]

Sorry to read about what u r going through.
My dad is an alcoholic. I had so many ****ed up situations with him in my childhood and teenage years, now he is weak and old and I can´t stand to see him, so I only see him like every 3 months, and just for an hour or so. I feel bad for him, I get sentimental, but I´m also hurt and angry with him and I can´t help him after all he has done to traumatize me.
The conclusion u have reached "screw family, screw friends", yeah I can definitely relate to that, because so many family members and close friends have dissapointed me, left me. I do still have friendships though, but I DON´T trust them to last forever and I don´t expect them to always be loyal. No one really is as long as we are on this planet. I am waiting to see what´s in store for us after we die.

 

[Anti Matter]

Sorry to read about what u r going through.
My dad is an alcoholic. I had so many ****ed up situations with him in my childhood and teenage years, now he is weak and old and I can´t stand to see him, so I only see him like every 3 months, and just for an hour or so. I feel bad for him, I get sentimental, but I´m also hurt and angry with him and I can´t help him after all he has done to traumatize me.
The conclusion u have reached "screw family, screw friends", yeah I can definitely relate to that, because so many family members and close friends have dissapointed me, left me. I do still have friendships though, but I DON´T trust them to last forever and I don´t expect them to always be loyal. No one really is as long as we are on this planet. I am waiting to see what´s in store for us after we die.

Parents....Ha....

Friends....Ha....

If there is another place beyond this earth please in Gods name just give me an infinite supply of art supplies and time. Will be pretty happy then.

 

[Darryl]

A.M. good opportunity to find some peace to clear your head without negative influcences.

Your friends will alway be friends, just when things go bad they end up on our hit list.

Get some positive "you" time and everthing will start to fall in line again.
Darryl

 

[Anti Matter]

A.M. good opportunity to find some peace to clear your head without negative influcences.

Your friends will alway be friends, just when things go bad they end up on our hit list.

Get some positive "you" time and everthing will start to fall in line again.
Darryl

I think you're right, I was a bit too nasty toward most of em I suppose thanks to the situation.

Think it's time to take some time off work.