Thank you for pointing out my flaws

[jryden]

I had this Interview this morning with a staffing agency and me and the woman interviewing me could not have been anymore different. She was so loud, cheery and happy. Ughh annoying. Ok she was nice lol but she pointed out that I was very shy and wasn't showing my personality. She said I need to learn to sell myself for the position. I can't do that. It feels so fake to me. It might come natural with others but I REALLY CANNOT DO IT.
"Show my personality"!!! I don't have one. I am the most blah, dull person ever. I just dont care about anything/anyone and its not very hard to tell.

I know she was trying to help me when I have to meet with the actual clients but I still hate it when people point out my flaws. I walked out so fast. I would have cried if my sister wasn't with me :sad:

I feel so much pressure from the people around me and even from myself to get a job that's degree worthy. I can't have min wage jobs for the rest of my life. These jobs require skills I don't have or it comes back to personality. I can't fit it with people even if I tried.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

If you don't mind me asking. What types of jobs are you applying for?

 

[jryden]

If you don't mind me asking. What types of jobs are you applying for?

Mostly Admin Assistant/Secretary positions. It makes sense to start there and If its with a company I like, maybe I would get promoted.
Since I need ANY job right now (besides the cashier position I have-part time), I've also applied to stores, hospitals, galleries etc.

I am not sure what my interests are. What kind of company I want to work for so there's not any specific area I am searching in.

 

[ShadowHeart]

First off, I'm really sorry things went so bad at your interview. Must have been hard to deal with and I feel bad for you.

....but I still hate it when people point out my flaws.

I quoted this because I am exactly the same. Finding my flaws is what I'm really good at. I don't need anyone else to do it for me. And once it happens, just like you, I need to get away.

Hope your next interview goes better. Fingers crossed.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

yeah i understand... i totolly hate being fake just to get a job... and we all need a job to have a life. we should be able to be ourselves if we have to be there a lot

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Mostly Admin Assistant/Secretary positions. It makes sense to start there and If its with a company I like, maybe I would get promoted.
Since I need ANY job right now (besides the cashier position I have-part time), I've also applied to stores, hospitals, galleries etc.

I am not sure what my interests are. What kind of company I want to work for so there's not any specific area I am searching in.

Don't go to a recruiting agency for something like this. Most of them are sharks and are only looking out for themselves. I've been in the selection process for new hires before. For secretarial or admins, you expect quiet and reserved!! This recruiter is an idiot! You have to speak during the interview (of course) but you don't have to be a saleswoman.

 

[OceanMist]

Don't let what she said get to you. Not all interviews are the same.

I'd like to point out that your experience is a reminder of how ridiculous some interviews are. Some of these interviewers expect the person to rave about how much they love the job they are applying for.

No offense to janitors, but when I had an interview for a janitor job, you can't honestly expect me to go in there give a bunch of reasons why I would love to clean piss all day long.

It's silly how at minimum wage jobs they actually expect me to be excited about the job.

Example:Great, I can't wait to shovel crap while getting paid minimum wage. I'm so "enthusiastic" about that, lol. Not.

Anyway, most interviews I've been in they tend to be fair enough and don't expect too much "ra ra" crap. Albeit, every job desires socially confident individuals, but not all have that as a requirement even if they say they want social people. It really depends on the job and management.

On the positive side, at least they didn't give you the job for a week and then fire you on Friday because you were too quiet and didn't laugh at a boss's attempt at jokes (Yep, happened to me b4.)

 

[CaptainArgh]

She was so loud, cheery and happy. Ughh annoying. Ok she was nice lol but she pointed out that I was very shy and wasn't showing my personality.

Do whats right for you! (Not for your avoidance)

She said I need to learn to sell myself for the position.

You're showing us your personality just fine Shes doing what most people do and give you advice they beleive worthwhile to their circumstances, instead of your personal circumstances.

I feel so much pressure from the people around me and even from myself to get a job that's degree worthy.

We will support you if thats what you want to do

 

[jaim38]

I think you are showing your personality. I am also quiet and shy and that's my personality. People just don't get it - they think that because I'm quiet and shy, that I must be hiding something and they tell me to be more outgoing. But they don't realize that they're telling me to drop my real personality and adopt a fake one.

 

[Xervello]

Yeah, that sucks. Your whole circumstance sucks. And what's more, it sucks that most people don't get it. But still, you gotta keep getting up every day, you gotta work, you gotta interact with people. I really have nothing to offer you other than to continue being yourself. Try to stay positive in your head. It takes a lot of courage to do what you've already done - to work as a cashier, to apply for jobs, to go on interviews, to keep trying - and eventually when you do land a job, who knows just how different things might change. I wish you luck with the search. Keep at it!

 

[dottie]

wow, i've experienced similar at an interview. this woman thinks she is on top of her game but in reality she is RUDE, PRESUMPTUOUS, and ARROGANT. she thinks she is top s***, that all people should be like her. wrong. she doesn't even have the scope to appreciate variances in human nature and what people who are not like her can bring to the table. be glad you don't have to work under her. there are many people who would prefer to work with your kind- not her kind.

 

[onehandclapping]

conversely i'd love it if someone could point out my flaws, in a sensitive constructive way I think its incredibly helpful. as long as they are perceptive and correct and not leading me down the wrong path or made an incorrect judgement then I think its good for working out what I need to do. the problem I have a lot of the time is that I don't see the habits that become me, so i'd really respect someone if they had the balls to honestly tell me where i'm going wrong, its a shame that no-one ever does...
who does it benefit when a person is just left floundering in their own personal confusion and frustration.

 

[laure15]

^I also wished friends and trusted family members can point out my flaws, in honest but nice ways of course. Throughout my life, people either point out my flaws indirectly (they think I can read minds or something, but I can only infer) or they point out my flaws by embarassing me and hating me for my flaws. I really don't like it and find it annoying when people go to such extremes. I wished someone would take the middle ground.

 

[onehandclapping]

^I also wished friends and trusted family members can point out my flaws, in honest but nice ways of course. Throughout my life, people either point out my flaws indirectly (they think I can read minds or something, but I can only infer) or they point out my flaws by embarassing me and hating me for my flaws. I really don't like it and find it annoying when people go to such extremes. I wished someone would take the middle ground.

I can only assume that its because its so difficult to do? or that maybe people worry about upsetting us. I don't pick up on subtle hints too well, I need something to be spelled out to me and explained unambiguously. too much suggestion and not enough honesty just makes me doubt everything ,never coming to any resolution.

 

[laure15]

^Exactly. I guess it is hard to point out people's flaws without hurting or offending them. And then you have other people who take advantage of people's flaws.

 

[Lonely_Writer]

For starters, I notice that you're very critical of yourself. Do you think maybe you're selling yourself short a little? I don't think you're a dull person. Everyone has depth. You just have some trouble expressing yourself. That's okay, because that can be treated with practice. So two things I want to emphasize:

1. Don't sell yourself short.
2. Practice. Expressing yourself will come with time.

Best of luck on your next interview. You're going to do great!

 

[NeedNewAlphabet]

i'd love it if someone could point out my flaws

I wouldn't. I already know mine better than anybody. All somebody pointing out my flaws does for me is tell me they think less of me for them.

If somebody tells me something helpful about the nature of my flaws, or that my flaws aren't quite what I think they are, that might be helpful. Even then I might have a hard time with it.

 

[onehandclapping]

I wouldn't. I already know mine better than anybody. All somebody pointing out my flaws does for me is tell me they think less of me for them.

If somebody tells me something helpful about the nature of my flaws, or that my flaws aren't quite what I think they are, that might be helpful. Even then I might have a hard time with it.

well then you are probably blessed with a good degree of self-awareness, which is good but not everyone has that natural ability.

 

[Lea]

I had this Interview this morning with a staffing agency and me and the woman interviewing me could not have been anymore different. She was so loud, cheery and happy. Ughh annoying. Ok she was nice lol but she pointed out that I was very shy and wasn't showing my personality. She said I need to learn to sell myself for the position. I can't do that. It feels so fake to me. It might come natural with others but I REALLY CANNOT DO IT.
"Show my personality"!!! I don't have one. I am the most blah, dull person ever. I just dont care about anything/anyone and its not very hard to tell.

I know she was trying to help me when I have to meet with the actual clients but I still hate it when people point out my flaws. I walked out so fast. I would have cried if my sister wasn't with me :sad:

I feel so much pressure from the people around me and even from myself to get a job that's degree worthy. I can't have min wage jobs for the rest of my life. These jobs require skills I don't have or it comes back to personality. I can't fit it with people even if I tried.

I totally understand this, similar things happen to me all the time. Just like today, I am not taking it personally, people pointing out that you're quiet probably don't think it's much too bad, but they have no idea that for us it is like a death sentence. I meant to say employers.. Yes they think it's just an innocent thing to say to a person, but they don't realize that we get told it over and over and our life depends on it. But I also understand that if you have a disability which prevents you doing certain job, it's natural they have the right not to hire you.