Terrified of the nightclub people

faithnomore

faithnomore

Banned
Does anyone else have this fear?

I see alot of people that are into the club scene, and it scares me. They are all so popular/good looking, and very forward.

It scares me how outgoing and casual they are. I feel that they would be nasty and judge me.

I have no desire to go to nightclubs, but i see these people out all the time, and it makes me paranoid.

I want to be friends with normal looking people. But all i see are all these people dressed up in all their trendy gear, (and girls) with loads of make up etc.

I've tried hard to get over my s/a, and its starting to work. But i still have this intense fear of those kind of people.
 
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W

WelshOne

Well-known member
My anxiety is mostly around people my own age group (say, +/- 5 years.) And yeah, most people my age seem to want to go to night clubs to dance and "pull." I find it all quite intimidating, because I've never danced in my life (I even feel like an idiot if I try for 2 secs in the mirror, alone!) and girls are one big area of anxiety all on their own, for me.

Also some guys who go pubbing/clubbing are just looking for a fight, and even though I'm not scared of the fight, I'm terrified of a crowd forming to watch - in which case I know I'd barely be able to WALK let alone throw a punch lol.
 
market.garden

market.garden

Well-known member
All the time. I hate nightclubs and I know what you mean about how scary their outgoing kinda nature is. I can be out at a pub with a couple of friends and they'll usually want to go to one of the 'trendy' style bar/clubs because they stay open till late..If I don't make my excuses and leave I just stand there frozen.

Clubs are laaaaaame!
 
F

FOR REAL

Banned
i used to love nightclubs about 10 years ago! its all changed in the uk now

it used to be about the music!

now its all about looking glamorous, people looking down their noses at people, expensive clothing

and the usual knife or baseball bat attack!

i will never enter a nightclub again.
 
M

mmmm

Well-known member
That's weird (me not you). I can't handle resturaunts, pubs or quiet gatherings at people's houses beaucse these events require conversation and eye-contact. I love night clubs because they are mostly dark and too loud for anyone to hear if i say something stupid or don't say anything and if I dance stupidly, people just assume I'm high and ask who my dealer is.
 
Rodox

Rodox

Well-known member
WelshOne said:
Also some guys who go pubbing/clubbing are just looking for a fight, and even though I'm not scared of the fight, I'm terrified of a crowd forming to watch - in which case I know I'd barely be able to WALK let alone throw a punch lol.
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Thats the biggest reason I dont go,here people go in groups and act thuggish,my cousin passed out on the street and they stole his wallet,probably his own friends....:rolleyes:
 
J

Jannah

Banned
Not scared of them, just annoyed by them. Actually I look down on them. I think they are very stupid and have Neanderthal characteristics. I just want them to get out of my way and if they don't I feel like MOVING them out of my way. I am not into making friends with those type of people (yeah I know I have anger problems).
 
Satine

Satine

Well-known member
faithnomore said:
I see alot of people that are into the club scene, and it scares me. They are all so popular/good looking, and very forward.
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Are you sure you're not just looking at one sector of the clubbing community? The highest-profile clubs tend to be the ones who play pop and R&B, and I'd totally agree that they're full of trendy types who want to pose rather than let down their guard and just be, you know, human.

It scares me how outgoing and casual they are. I feel that they would be nasty and judge me.
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I can't really comment because I don't go to the clubs you mention.

I have no desire to go to nightclubs, but i see these people out all the time, and it makes me paranoid.
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I'll concur that the image-conscious types you're talking about can be short-sighted and annoying. And, in some cases, violent. Those of us in the underground clubbing scene look at them in much the same way as you do, in fact. They're dull, frankly, whatever they might like to imagine.

I want to be friends with normal looking people. But all i see are all these people dressed up in all their trendy gear, (and girls) with loads of make up etc.

I've tried hard to get over my s/a, and its starting to work. But i still have this intense fear of those kind of people.
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Like I say, I can't really blame you. But I'll ask you, please don't confuse the pop/R&B types with the rest of the clubbing community - the dubsteppers, the techno enthusiasts, the drum n' bassers, etc. For the rest of us, clubbing is about the music. Not pulling, getting particuarly drunk, showing off our strength etc. It's about the music. And there is no strong fashion culture in the underground scenes. It's T-shirts and jeans, trainers, and not-particularly skimpy tops for the most part.

Over the years, I've found it a much more personable scene.
 
Flowers-Of-Bloom

Flowers-Of-Bloom

Well-known member
I've been to a club before. It was intimidating at first, but really it wasn't all that bad. As long as I'm with my friends, it's fine. Only thing that annoyed me was the constant ringing in my ears afterwards... The music is usually way too loud to have a conversation, which isn't a problem for me.

But yeah, depending on which club you go to, some of them can be good. My friend met her girlfriend at a club, and she's really happy... Personally I feel more comfortable going to gay/bi nightclubs, which has nothing to do with my hetrosexuality, but rather the people just seem... nicer, and less judgemental? :confused:

Another good thing - you don't have to able to dance, to dance. People just move in rhythm and rub up against each other. It's fascinating, really.
 
Satine

Satine

Well-known member
Absolutely on not having to be able to dance. Before I went to my first nightclub I tried doing the in-front-of-the-mirror practice and felt like an idiot. I decided I'd just go, observe, and wing it.

And you know what? People just flail their limbs around a bit. You can hardly help but fit in, really. My other half calls dancing, 'shuffling about like a cockroach', and he's not far wrong.
 
faithnomore

faithnomore

Banned
Satine said:
Like I say, I can't really blame you. But I'll ask you, please don't confuse the pop/R&B types with the rest of the clubbing community - the dubsteppers, the techno enthusiasts, the drum n' bassers, etc. For the rest of us, clubbing is about the music. Not pulling, getting particuarly drunk, showing off our strength etc. It's about the music. And there is no strong fashion culture in the underground scenes. It's T-shirts and jeans, trainers, and not-particularly skimpy tops for the most part.

Over the years, I've found it a much more personable scene.
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Ah, now i'm not very clued up about clubs. You see, in most u.k towns there are the usual low class clubs that most chavs go to, and girls in the most provocative gear flaunting about (when i went on holiday i looked out the window and saw girls that were dressed like adult models! They barely looked 18 for gods sake!), while there are guys who look extremely rough and ready to fight etc. Thats the problem here.

I'm sure in bigger cities etc there are different classes of clubs. Maybe some more laid back and friendly places? Anything is better than the kind of scum i see going in to the local clubs here!
 
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Richey

Richey

Well-known member
certain people adapt easily to the nightclub scene and you can pick them out in a crowd, they are generally physically impressive and up front and quite bubbly. it really depends on the person and alot of it comes down to physicality and confidence in themselves in that they arn't self conscious. whether you can dance and how you feel dancing also comes down to the level of self concsiousness.
 
Richey

Richey

Well-known member
WelshOne said:
My anxiety is mostly around people my own age group (say, +/- 5 years.) And yeah, most people my age seem to want to go to night clubs to dance and "pull." I find it all quite intimidating, because I've never danced in my life (I even feel like an idiot if I try for 2 secs in the mirror, alone!) and girls are one big area of anxiety all on their own, for me.

Also some guys who go pubbing/clubbing are just looking for a fight, and even though I'm not scared of the fight, I'm terrified of a crowd forming to watch - in which case I know I'd barely be able to WALK let alone throw a punch lol.
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i also feel we need to see the humour in everything so that we can branch away from pinning everything into little categories ...

something silly like going to a nighclub to observe peoples shoes and everything else is a bonus. or your goal is to play cards with a friend and to have a drink while writing a song on a notepad, something wacky so your mind isnt focussed on the cliches of the clubbing experience. that way making friends and dancing is just an attribute or something that happens while you are busy seeing the funny side of life, hard to explain but that way you aren't focussed on the connotations
 
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Satine

Satine

Well-known member
faithnomore said:
[/B]

Ah, now i'm not very clued up about clubs. You see, in most u.k towns there are the usual low class clubs that most chavs go to, and girls in the most provocative gear flaunting about (when i went on holiday i looked out the window and saw girls that were dressed like adult models! They barely looked 18 for gods sake!), while there are guys who look extremely rough and ready to fight etc. Thats the problem here.

I'm sure in bigger cities etc there are different classes of clubs. Maybe some more laid back and friendly places? Anything is better than the kind of scum i see going in to the local clubs here!
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Possibly you'll find better clubs in bigger areas, but there used to be a lovely club in Morely, just outside of Wakefield, Yorkshire. It was called the Afterdark and hosted a night called The Orbit. They played the kind of techno you struggle to find anywhere else.

Interestingly, the same club had a chav's night. I think it used it as a cash cow.

Unfortunately, the place shut down a few years ago. I think it became an Indian restaurant. But it was a fantastic club while it lasted.
 
faithnomore

faithnomore

Banned
NothingElseMatters said:
lets face it clubs are ideal for sexual adventures.
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If you look really fashionable/rough. Normal people like us would probably be ignored (i know i'd be ignored).

Its not that i'd want to be with them anyway, i'd rather meet a nice quiet and caring girl that would like me for who i am as a person.
 
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