Tell me if I am an *******

[DeadCities]

i think i could be, i've been dating my girlfriend for a year and half, and yes we have our ups and downs, and we fight daily. But i know she loves me. In walks pretty girl who is a mutual friend, and she usually comes over when we party shes not really a "party girl" or anything, shes pretty responsible but drinks when she comes over to our apartment. Latley me and her have been getting really innapropriate when we drink, even kissing and telling eachother that we have feelings for eachother etc. My girlfriends found out and it's gotten me into trouble before but she thinks things will be allright now. But i still cant help messaging this girl. I think it's because my gf never really shows me alot of affection, hugging, kissing ect. (we havent even had sex in probly 6 months and were in our 20's not an old married couple here). And pretty girl does. but heres the thing, i dont know where i stand with this person either, she gets attention from so many guys because of how beautifull she is, where the **** would i fit into that. So I cant leave my gf because we live together it would be really hard or really i think maybe this girl might simply be using me to feed her ego. So what should i do in a situation like this?

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

ahm... well, yeah- inappropriate things even if you're dead drunk is inexcusable in my opinion. Not very nice.

You need to talk to your girlfriend and tell her the issues you are having in your relationship and figure out where to go from there.
If she's 'letting you off the hook' by pretending everything is okay; that's unhealthy behavior for both of you.

You need to sort things out a.s.a.p.
No messaging this 'pretty girl' until you've decided what's going on.
If your only reason for not just ending it with your girlfriend is because this 'pretty girl' might not be willing to be your backup girlfriend - that says to me that you aren't taking your relationship very seriously and should probably spend more time fixing your relationship OR you should just leave so everyone can be happier.

That is my opinion.

 

[Blabla..]

you're not a ******* , it's normal to have desires , but you should make up your mind , are you happy with your girlfriend right now ? You should let her know how you feel , if you are not happy with her anymore it might be better to end it now before you cause more pain , but really try to talk with her , a simple conversation can change alot of things

 

[Silatuyok]

Considering my own experiences in this regard, I'd say that getting involved with another person and "fighting daily" are very strong signs that the relationship is not going well. It really doesn't matter how much you two love each other, the relationship isn't really sustainable at this point, unless something MAJOR changes.

 

[vj288]

If I were you, I'd take a look at your current relationship and maybe talk to your girlfriend about it, regardless of this other girl. If you don't want to be together anymore, carrying on the charade for your living situation doesn't sound like a good idea. Do you still want to be with your girlfriend, again regardless of this other girl?

 

[Checkonit22]

*this is removed*

 

[Aletheia]

Honestly, it's not a good sign that you haven't had sex in six months. It wouldn't be even if you were an old married couple. Daily fights aren't great either.

Do you know what you want from your relationship? Are there things that would make it better? Could you see yourself sitting down with your girlfriend and working through your problems?

I have an issue with projecting the frustration I feel for my own life onto my relationship. Is it possible that's what you're doing? If so, try to work out just where your dissatisfaction is coming from. If it's not the relationship, you're just going to take it with you.

Get clear about your feelings, and then either talk about them with your girlfriend, or leave. Don't mess around with this new girl just because you're afraid to be on your own.

 

[Silatuyok]

I think that the above statement sums up everything. I would like to think that it would take something more than this to end a relationship over. #greenergrass

What more does it take?

 

[KnuffleBunny]

Your story hurts me personally because I've been through this same sort of situation, which is why I'm giving my two cents now.

Problem points: You kiss and have feelings for each other (yet you also don't know where you stand with her when she tells you this?) which is a no-no when you're in a relationship with someone else and you text her constantly. You have fights with your girlfriend who doesn't compliment you and haven't had sex in 6 months.

FIRST, if you want to keep the relationship with your girlfriend: All this tells me that both you AND your girlfriend are not happy in the relationship for one reason or another. Somehow there is no communication somewhere and you need to find it if you want to keep that relationship. You need to spend more time together and talk about what the problems are. TELL HER she doesn't compliment you or have sex. If you don't talk in a relationship, you will lose that relationship.

If you want to keep your girlfriend, you NEED to DUMP the other girl. Contact with someone you've had feelings towards that are getting in the way of where you really want to be is NOT what you need. Trust me, the longer you stay in contact when you're with someone else, the more pain it causes for everybody. A clean cut, no messages, no talking, no ANYTHING is the best thing that will get you back on track. Explain your feelings and then no more.

SECOND, if you would rather dump your girlfriend: Be sure this new girl is TRUE in her feelings for you. It would suck if you dump your girlfriend only to find out it's not worth it and you've been played for a fool. That leaves you with no one. If you find her to be true to her word, then you need to have a talk with your girlfriend. Explain why you want to break up, because although it may hurt, at least you're being honest and not leaving her hanging wondering why you left.

Good luck.

 

[Necrucifer]

You're an *******, I woulda left you if I was her but you're very lucky she didnt. Now is there a reason why there is no sex, maybe your just doing it for yourself so she closed the doors or its not satisfying to her this or that? Drunk is no excuse though, I get drunk and am full aware of what I do and how I act now if its black out drunk then you shouldnt be drinking if you do not know your limit.

I am sorry for being harsh but this is my own opinion and well you need to talk to her and if you feel you want to leave her for a girl that "puts out" go for it but if she would kiss you while you're both drunk and she knows you have a gf then she will probably cheat on you to. Sounds like you have a keeper already though choose wisely.

 

[elek2ronik]

Just see her on the side, but don't get involved with her beyond that. She sounds like bad news, and is probably only good for putting out. If your current girlfriend is a good girl and has her stuff together, then don't screw it up over some pretty girl who you are attracted to.

 

[MrJones]

Communication

Talk to her, and be honest

 

[maybmental2]

You have to be honest with yourself and your girlfriend, Your not in love with each other. If you break up your going to be alone and you have to ask yourself do you really want to be with this other girl? She been messing around with someone who's in a relationship. These are very hard choices and in the end you're the only one that can make them, If you and your girl friend fight everyday now what are you going to be doing in ten years hateing each other? That's not a future that niether one of you really want. I wish you all the best and hope you two can part ways without the hate, You know I can still talk to all the women I've been with and I'm proud of that fact and if you asked them about me they would tell you I'm a good guy. Peace brother hang in there.

 

[twiggle]

You're not a ******* for having feelings for somebody else - we can't control that. But you will be a ******* if you aren't honest with your girlfriend, starting immediately!
Forget about the living arrangements/whether or not the other girl is playing you etc, those are irrelevant for the moment. The first thing you need to sort out is your current relationship and if you're even thinking about being with somebody else then it proves your existing relationship is not working out.
You can't keep a relationship just because it's more convenient that way. Not in a million years.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

You really need to talk to your girlfriend about your relationship with her, because that really seems to be the main issue here. It sounds as though there are many aspects of the relationship that you're not happy with, and that's why this other girl is creating such a distraction for you. If it wasn't her, I suspect it would be someone else sooner or later. You're not a ******* if you address these issues now (even if that means the relationship comes to an end) but you are if you continue to mess around with this other girl behind your gf's back, simply because you don't want to face up to things.

 

[coyote]

it sounds to me like you already have an understanding about the potential consequences of your actions and are merely looking for a way to justify what you are doing

regardless of how bad your current relationship is going, it doesn't make it acceptable to do something that would hurt your partner

you need to communicate with your partner and address the problems in your relationship rather than avoiding it and distracting yourself with someone else

i've been where you are - i wish i had made better decisions then

 

[Pookah]

If my boyfriend did this it would mean the relationship was over.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

She might not want to be intimate with you, because she doesn't trust you which i can understand....