rainrainwash3
New member
I've had severe HH in my hands and feet for over 20 years now, and it never goes away. I've tried everything except surgery, and nothing works. Too many times I've read stories of this or that working for someone else, so I try it and it does nothing. Botox, iontophoresis, drugs, antipersperants, herbal remedies, diet changes, mind alteration, exercise, etc. Dermatologists, psychiatrists, endocrinologists, general practitioners, phsychologists, neurologists, NOTHING works!
At this age of 30, I have become a reclusive hermit. I don't go out, I don't interact with people, I don't have a job, and I live alone. Everyday I feel as though I've been punished for something, not knowing what. The only thing I look forward to is sleep, in which I can escape my waking life for a time. I live more in my dreams than I do when I'm awake.
I just want the suffering alone in the dark to end. I don't live, I only exist. This condition has created severe mental issues for me.
It's like I'm always treading water, literally. Like I swim through existence and witness life around me, yet I'm not "within" that world. I feel forever separated from it, always wondering of better worlds beyond this one. In a way I live to dream.
I say these things on here because I have no one to confide in. Years ago it was only hyperhidrosis that affected me, but now its severe depression and suicidal ideation.
I know I'll hear the terms "man up" or don't be a wuss, but this condition has also allowed me to be an observer on the outside looking in. Seeing the material world as a prison in which all of our actions are designed to avoid death or be distracted from it.
We eat so we don't die, we drink water so we don't die, we go to work so that we can have a roof over our head so that we don't die! All the "beautiful" things in life are a distraction from this fact. And all I see when I wake up is darkness. Even the sunny days or looking into the eyes of a pretty girl is DARKNESS.
Sorry if this is heavy, but the deeper into the ocean you go, the less light penetrates it. I wonder if some suicides are due to HH and the resulting mental illness is causes.
At this age of 30, I have become a reclusive hermit. I don't go out, I don't interact with people, I don't have a job, and I live alone. Everyday I feel as though I've been punished for something, not knowing what. The only thing I look forward to is sleep, in which I can escape my waking life for a time. I live more in my dreams than I do when I'm awake.
I just want the suffering alone in the dark to end. I don't live, I only exist. This condition has created severe mental issues for me.
It's like I'm always treading water, literally. Like I swim through existence and witness life around me, yet I'm not "within" that world. I feel forever separated from it, always wondering of better worlds beyond this one. In a way I live to dream.
I say these things on here because I have no one to confide in. Years ago it was only hyperhidrosis that affected me, but now its severe depression and suicidal ideation.
I know I'll hear the terms "man up" or don't be a wuss, but this condition has also allowed me to be an observer on the outside looking in. Seeing the material world as a prison in which all of our actions are designed to avoid death or be distracted from it.
We eat so we don't die, we drink water so we don't die, we go to work so that we can have a roof over our head so that we don't die! All the "beautiful" things in life are a distraction from this fact. And all I see when I wake up is darkness. Even the sunny days or looking into the eyes of a pretty girl is DARKNESS.
Sorry if this is heavy, but the deeper into the ocean you go, the less light penetrates it. I wonder if some suicides are due to HH and the resulting mental illness is causes.