Hastings & Main
Well-known member
Has anyone else on the boards ever experienced a sudden normalcy?
Everything gone, poof, no worries?
Some years back (you'd think it'd be something I'd mark on a calendar) in what I believe was a February, I woke up and felt different.
As the day wore on I realized that I was less tense - and actually felt no tension - on the streets, felt no anxiety in any way, I looked up at people, nodded, etc.
I met co-workers with signs of familiarity & ease. My body was relaxed. My eyes didn't flit around trying avoid others' gaze. In fact, looking in another's eyes was more like a challenge - albeit slight - that they should open up, nod, say Hi or whatnot.
My muscles in my shoulders & back weren't mildly sore after a day of feeling tense in society. I looked around a lot, observing much as if it were new.
My thoughts were clear, free of the mad jumble of riot-noise of 'who's that guy/she'd be disappointed with me/what's he staring at/why am I out here/maybe I'll just head home & go online/why can't I be like this/why can't I be like that/am I the only one/how do so many people all know each other & what the hell do they talk about with so much energy/does she find me attractive or is she smirking' mind-pollution.
There was no trace at all of that ever-present conscious or the unexplainable sub-conscious alertness of worry about what every person within sight was thinking of me, how I was being judged.
If a woman looked at me with a trace of a smile, I didn't automatically conclude that I had a piece of buttered toast stuck to my chin or had pie on my head.
No anxiety, no worrying, no endless self-examination, no nothing. Free and clear.
This lasted I think for three months. I literally woke up that way, no slow build-up. However, I did eventually return to my own 'normalcy', and it was a slow retrogression which brought me down from my 'normal-high' over the course of the last two of the three months.
Unfortunately, the whole time that I was feeling great, I was too fascinated by the difference, so wrapped up in trying to figure it out, that I never took advantage of it, never really pushed it ie. search out a perfect mate, etc. or whatever normal people do with themselves. Man, was that depressing when it was gone, but at least it would've been much worse if it had snapped off as quick as it came on.
Later I would mention it to the psych at VGH during my one free exam & he made a note of it with interest, so perhaps it's not that common.
So I was just wondering if anyone else here has experienced such a thing (that lasted more than at least a few days, as I have "good days" every so often), and if so, how long did it go on for?
Everything gone, poof, no worries?
Some years back (you'd think it'd be something I'd mark on a calendar) in what I believe was a February, I woke up and felt different.
As the day wore on I realized that I was less tense - and actually felt no tension - on the streets, felt no anxiety in any way, I looked up at people, nodded, etc.
I met co-workers with signs of familiarity & ease. My body was relaxed. My eyes didn't flit around trying avoid others' gaze. In fact, looking in another's eyes was more like a challenge - albeit slight - that they should open up, nod, say Hi or whatnot.
My muscles in my shoulders & back weren't mildly sore after a day of feeling tense in society. I looked around a lot, observing much as if it were new.
My thoughts were clear, free of the mad jumble of riot-noise of 'who's that guy/she'd be disappointed with me/what's he staring at/why am I out here/maybe I'll just head home & go online/why can't I be like this/why can't I be like that/am I the only one/how do so many people all know each other & what the hell do they talk about with so much energy/does she find me attractive or is she smirking' mind-pollution.
There was no trace at all of that ever-present conscious or the unexplainable sub-conscious alertness of worry about what every person within sight was thinking of me, how I was being judged.
If a woman looked at me with a trace of a smile, I didn't automatically conclude that I had a piece of buttered toast stuck to my chin or had pie on my head.
No anxiety, no worrying, no endless self-examination, no nothing. Free and clear.
This lasted I think for three months. I literally woke up that way, no slow build-up. However, I did eventually return to my own 'normalcy', and it was a slow retrogression which brought me down from my 'normal-high' over the course of the last two of the three months.
Unfortunately, the whole time that I was feeling great, I was too fascinated by the difference, so wrapped up in trying to figure it out, that I never took advantage of it, never really pushed it ie. search out a perfect mate, etc. or whatever normal people do with themselves. Man, was that depressing when it was gone, but at least it would've been much worse if it had snapped off as quick as it came on.
Later I would mention it to the psych at VGH during my one free exam & he made a note of it with interest, so perhaps it's not that common.
So I was just wondering if anyone else here has experienced such a thing (that lasted more than at least a few days, as I have "good days" every so often), and if so, how long did it go on for?
As if I were someone else.
