I understand why some people are offended, although I suspect that the motivation behind this thread was purely for inspiration's sake
You're right, EscapeArtist. I was not intending to offend anyone at all.
But I do feel like there are many people who want to believe that they are born with this disorder, that it is purely chemical, genetic and unchangeable. I actually very much understand that perspective, since trying and failing so many times tends to draw one to that view.
But, fear of social interaction is not a genetic trait. Newborns are only born with two fears: falling and loud noises. The rest is environmental, starting from birth. I have had SA since a young child as well. I can remember going to kidergarten and feeling so afraid and isolated from the other children. But the most critical years of a child's brain formation and patterning is actually from birth to 5 years old. These years are the formative stages of the way a child sees his self. Usually we will not remember any of this time period.
I understand that many may be more senstive and susceptible to anxiety though; in fact I think I am. But that doesn't discount the fact that lack of building a child's social identity and confidence will inevitably lead to a fearful child. If a child is surrounded with positive, affirming information about who they are, along with a strong effort of socializing their children with positive messages, then they will succeed.
Now, I am not discounting that other disorders, such as aspergers syndrome for example, may lead to an inability to properly understand social signals, therefore causing an inevitable shyness and uncertainty about their abilities. Lack of a 'theory of mind' is definitely a struggle that is beyond one's own power to fix.
I also wanted to mention something about the word 'lie' and why some people don't like it. I think I understand that being told that your feelings are a lie can be offensive. However, what I was merely and innocuously trying to say, was that we have some wrong messages in our head that need to be changed. And the wrong messages are a result of some false information that our brains decided was true, for some reason or another. I happen to believe those false messages are a result of early childhood environment, and the wrong messages being instilled. I wasn't saying that what you are feeling is a lie, only that the reason you act and fear as you do, is a result of a lie. That is a true statement. In fact, the very description for SA universally states that the fear is 'irrational.'
The strong language was only to hammer the idea in, that false ideas do not have to guide your life if you are willing to start creating a reality for yourself that is based on a new premise. One that says you are a leader of your self, that you are innately and unchangeably good, one that says you must love yourself before you can love and share with others. Perspectives CAN be changed, although it takes a long time to actually start believing, deep down, that these new ideas about you are really true.
I brought up inferiority because more often than not, this goes hand in hand with SA. Though it may not exclusively be the case, I believe that it is a strong factor. The reason for the social fear is a sense that something about you isn't good enough... and that is almost universally a descriptor that comes up when learning about SA. But I know that may not always be the case.
I think SA is a very unique and different experience for everyone though, so I understand the varied reactions.
