So I wrote her a letter... Should I give it to her?

[xnn]

I have posted this earlier, that several people from work have blocked me on facebook. They wont tell me why, and refuse to talk to me at work.

One of the persons who blocked me, I had been talking to every night at facebook, since we became friends, a few months ago. She was very nice, and she said to me that I'm very nice too. After all we shared on facebook, it felt very hard to loose her as a friend. The last time we talked, we didnt argue about anything, and we said goodnight to each other before signing off. Next day she had blocked me, and refuse to talk to me!

I asked her one time on facebook, if I could have her phonenumber, and she said: not yet. I want to get to know you better first. I respect that, but I can find her number since she listed if I want. But contacting her on phone would not be very smart to do then, it would probaly freak her out.

We actually live very close, I walk past the block her appartment is in very often. But knocking on her door, would just scare her. And besides I am to shy to do that.

I thought about another possible way to contact her. Write her a letter. I have it ready, and I am thinking about giving it to one of the leaders at work, and ask if they could give it to her tomorrow before she goes home. I know it's her last day tomorrow because vacation. So I want to get it done now, so I don't have to think about this for 4-5 weeks more.

I just want to ask her why, and if I done anything to insult her and say I'm sorry. Writing her a letter, and have it delivered at work, must be ok?
I'm affraid to give it her myself, since she may not read it and just throws it away.
I hope this will work, because it really sucks, and I just can't get over this so easy.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

No.

Absolutely do not give her any letters.

You would be better off not communicating with any of these girls in any way outside of what is absolutely necessary for work purposes. Don't even look at them. I'm not joking.

You have behaved inappropriately and garnered yourself a bad reputation at work now. Your wisest move would be to cut your losses and just concentrate on your job if you have any intention of keeping it.

 

[Requiescat]

It's a tough decision, and should you give her this letter I wouldn't expect anything to come of it. I do recall something you said to one of the girls that offended them. That has probably, as Nathaniel stated, burned your bridges for you. But you seem very intent on this, so maybe give it a shot. If it means that much to yoy and weighs so heavily upon you then try it. But this should be the very last shot at remedying your troubles in my opinion. I personally would let go and move on.

 

[Xion]

Don't give her any letters, my friend.. I completely agree with Nathaniel... The same kind of thing happened to me.. I also tried to give a letter to a girl just like you.. And it didn't end well.. Trust me it won't end well..

 

[Sacrament]

She'll just think there's something wrong with you for writing a letter, since writing a letter doesn't make much sense in that situation. And definitely don't start walking by her appartment, much less knocking on her door. The most "normal" thing you could do is to just approach her and calmly ask her if there's something you did that she considered inappropriate and a reason to block you, since you thought you were both having an enjoyable time chatting.

Did you go a bit too far in those conversations? Talked about sex or something when she was clearly not hinting at it at all? Talked about feelings when she wasn't interested either?

 

[Psychedelicious]

no

Do not do it. Bad idea....

 

[Blueborn]

Not much to add here, I'm in a vaguely similar situation where I pretty much creeped out a girl only by glances and appearance. Don't let it come to a point where she might start getting scared of you, that's really awful and embarrassing. If your colleagues cut down the contact they'll have their reasons, there wouldn't be much of a point for me in trying to be best friends or something like that anymore.

 

[Sacrament]

You must have been doing something to make them uncomfortable, because a group of people doesn't block you just because they feel like it. My guess is that you were either being too forward with your dialogue, or you were being "annoying" in the sense that whenever you saw them online, you'd go and chat with them. A lot of people hate that.

 

[Megaten]

I hope you didnt go through with it. Like others said leave that mess alone before it gets messier. Look at it this way, you might not want to know why you got blocked. Also if they wanted an apology they would have asked for one. So like the others said just keep your head down and act normal.

 

[AlienGeranium]

I don't have anything different to say than everyone else in the thread thus far, but just reiterate how bad an idea this is. I can sympathize, when you think about the same thing over and over, and want to get it out, writing things down and trying to get a response to them that way sounds appealing, very appealing probably.

But you send it, and then you sound like a crazy person. Because they are not crazy obsessed about the topic as you are. People come and go out of lives all the time, it's not something most dwell on. In this particular situation, you'll probably scare the girl. It's not like the movies where it comes off as romantic and she instantly falls for you. Most things in movies if done in real life would be extremely creepy.

I'd really really suggest taking a big step back from the situation, and try to get some perspective.

 

[Bronson99]

I feel as if he can't get someone to like him naturally... what is he to do? Nothing?

They say if something doesn't come to you naturally... you have to go out there and get it yourself. Take initiative. Pull the bull by the horns.

Which would seem to be reflected in his letter-writing campaign... initiative, using plain language.

What's the alternative? Waiting for a relationship to fall into your lap? No. To get something you want, you have to work for it. That's what he's doing, is it not?

 

[kihira]

I feel as if he can't get someone to like him naturally... what is he to do? Nothing?

They say if something doesn't come to you naturally... you have to go out there and get it yourself. Take initiative. Pull the bull by the horns.

Which would seem to be reflected in his letter-writing campaign... initiative, using plain language.

What's the alternative? Waiting for a relationship to fall into your lap? No. To get something you want, you have to work for it. That's what he's doing, is it not?

The alternative is to make personal improvements in the areas he needs to instead of making the same mistakes and expecting results

 

[Sacrament]

I feel as if he can't get someone to like him naturally... what is he to do? Nothing?

They say if something doesn't come to you naturally... you have to go out there and get it yourself. Take initiative. Pull the bull by the horns.

Which would seem to be reflected in his letter-writing campaign... initiative, using plain language.

What's the alternative? Waiting for a relationship to fall into your lap? No. To get something you want, you have to work for it. That's what he's doing, is it not?

He can simply just try to connect with other people, since it didn't work with that particular group of people. Maybe analyse what might have gone wrong with the other guys and experiment with different approaches without getting all up in people's faces.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

I feel as if he can't get someone to like him naturally... what is he to do? Nothing?

They say if something doesn't come to you naturally... you have to go out there and get it yourself. Take initiative. Pull the bull by the horns.

Which would seem to be reflected in his letter-writing campaign... initiative, using plain language.

What's the alternative? Waiting for a relationship to fall into your lap? No. To get something you want, you have to work for it. That's what he's doing, is it not?

Initiative and grit is good, but only to a point. You have to respect people's boundaries.

I think the best thing to do from this point is to assess the situation, learn from his mistakes, and apply it to his judgement in the future.

 

[Kiwong]

I also agree don't send the letter. The fact she blocked you on facebook is enough of a message to walk away.