Shy or Stuck up?

[Iseesky]

Would you rather be considered shy or stuck up? Often times people think I'm stuck up because I tend to ignore them. Not because I don't like them or think I'm better than them, but because I'm scared of them, or I think they don't like me! To be completely honest, I'd rather them see me that way...stuck up. One of the reasons I hate social anxiety is because I always feel SO vulnerable and small and insignificant and unimportant. It makes me feel better when they think I'm stuck up because with it comes confidence and importance...Two things I lack in the eyes of others. Anyway...What do people think of you and do you like that assumption? Would you rather be seen as quiet, mean, stuck up, posh...?

 

[Emily_G]

Definitely shy. I think most people know I am shy and not stuck up...at least I hope so.

 

[Rxqueen]

I'm not sure....being called a stuck up b i t c h has its benefits sometimes, people don't mess with you and they tend to leave you alone.......on the other hand if ppl think you're shy they tend to step all over you and treat you like crap.....idk I would personally prefer not being noticed at all that way I won't have to be bothered with either label....they both come with untrue stereotypes anyway....

 

[philly2bits]

Both sides could lead to the same end result, so I think it matters mostly by how you truly want to be seen by people and not by there reactions to you.

Being seen as shy may make some people see you as easy game. They may tease and pick on you or be be overly pushy and demanding. On the other end being seen as stuck up could make people try to "tear you down," which would probably lead to the same results. Of course these are the bad sides of being seen those ways.

Those sides could also have good sides. Being shy may make people more likely to be nice to you and help you along. Being seen as stuck up could come off as having a lot of self-confidence and people will respond to you accordingly. It all depends on who is looking at you and how that person sees you.

 

[nopark]

I work as a web developer. Most of my work is done online, where it's easier not to be so confined by the usual social anxieties. I'm pretty openly arrogant about my skills. My friends always joke around about my exorbitant ego. But the truth is, people generally react positively to it. Prospective clients are reassured by the attitude -- it helps seal the deal. (Well, it also helps that I am good! ).

This kind of unwavering confidence isn't a bad thing as long as you can still be gracious. People hire me because I portray this image of genius and elitism, but people like me because I am cordial.

You can fling around words like arrogant or conceited but the words without context have too powerful connotations in our minds. So I think philly2bits is right about "it depends."

Generally speaking, like an "overall" quality -- as in, if someone just meets me on the street -- I'd rather seem shy than conceited. Unfounded arrogance is an ugly trait in my opinion.

 

[lonely_drummer]

I've been called told by a few people that when they first met me they thought I was very stuck up, which Im totally not, Im chill, I just don't freakin know you. I agree with Philly, it depends on how you want to be seen compared to how you want peoples reactions to be from their judgment of your personality. I find in my experience it has been better to be seen as shy because most of the time people try to be kind towards me. However, I found that people tended to avoid and not bother to get to know me when their first impression of me was being stuck up.

 

[lyricalliaisons]

I'd definitely rather be considered shy, but I'm why beyond shy. Shy is something I surpassed in childhood. But I come across as being arrogant or rude because I basically ignore people when they talk to me sometimes because I get so scared. I don't like people thinking negative things about me & there's far more negative attached to being arrogant than to being "shy".

 

[Scooter]

I normally get considered unfriendly, aloof.....not shy, not stuck up, just unwelcoming.....sad really considering it's purely a fear response

 

[anomicdeer]

Someone use to call me stuck up. I don't know why. I guess because I'm shy and when I was in school I was never the type to look for friends when in the hallway. I would just go to my next class paying attention to no one.

 

[apollo]

Most people would not want to associate themselves with someone who is stuck up.

There is a reason why the first judgment they pass on a person is that of being stuck

up. It has a more negative connotation to it.

When a person feels like the other is not very responsive or replies quickly and comes

accross as ignoring them they will feel insecure themselves and thus will think the worst

of them. And the worst is being stuck up. They often don't realize that the person is

simply shy.

So I would rather come accross as being shy as opposed to being an a**.

 

[mrb]

people just see me as some annoying joker , i spend half my life winding people up ... not in a horrible way just in a freindly way , i do it on here at work , its just me ......

 

[Moonie]

Sadly, I’d rather be viewed as stuck up. I feel so meek, scared, and childish being called shy. It would be refreshing to be viewed something other than the weird, quiet girl.

Better than being viewed as stuck up, I would rather be viewed as as the cool, mysterious, reflective, deep one. But, I don’t see that ever being the case. I am too awkward to be viewed as that. And, I think people view me as dumb (not deep) because I am so quiet. They probably don’t think I have anything going on upstairs.

 

[Helmaninquiel]

The people that don't know me probably perceive me as a stuck up bitch but the people I'm truly close with are the people who know that I'm just shy but a nice person. The reason why we seem like a 'snob' to people were uncomfortable with is because we don't know how to act around them, or if they will judge us.

 

[mismeek]

oh im definitely stuck up.. pshaw to you small people!!!

 

[Why]

im very shy but i woultn be surrpised if ppl thought i was stuckup, especially to females

 

[teandtoast]

I think alot of people think Im stuck up (like at work) as I tend to ignore them as I havent got much to say to them (I mean I dont know what to say I dont know anything about them and they dont know anything about me) and I tend to only talk to a few people at work (who sit right next to me) who kind of understand me (and generally they start conversations with me which makes things alot easier). The problem is I know Im a bit weird (from shyness/anxiety) and obviously people see this (where I cant keep eye contact etc) and I think why should I put those people out anyway by trying to talk to them when they quite obviously dont want to talk to me and its just easier for all all round ...I mean in a way though maybe I am stuck up for being like that.

I know people have thought Im stuck up as when theyve started to work with me like sit next to me and I can have 1 on 1 conversations which I find alot easier and they get to know me they have said they thought I was stuck up but now theyve got to know me they see Im not

my shyness and anxiety has overwhelmed me so much over the years where Ive got to the point of why worry about making conversation etc and just ignore people instead and then you dont have to worry about it lol and who gives a **** if they think Im weird/stuckup...just easier to keep myself to myself

the other big problem is depression aswell which makes me miserable all time and at work who wants to talk to someone like that ...everyone else is all jolly and talking crap and I cant do that and pretend to be happy (apart from to woman next to me) so that also contributes to seeming/being stuckup