Should I tell him I have SA?

[0dd1]

I'm currently dating a guy right now and I'm so afraid of him thinking I'm too quiet. I'm so afraid from my last bf that he'll end up not wanting to see me because of it.

It takes a while for me to open up and feel comfortable around a new person. I just hope he stays around long enough to realize it.

Would it be a bad thing to tell him I get anxiety around new people?

 

[Iseesky]

I might not be in the majority on this...But, I'd say let him discover on his own. You're a person, not a label. You're quiet and anxious and I'm sure he sees that and if he doesn't understand, then he's not worth your trouble. If he really likes you he's going to take the time to get to know you. You telling him about your sa, in my opinion, wouldn't make much of a difference.

 

[gsmax5]

I'm currently dating a guy right now and I'm so afraid of him thinking I'm too quiet. I'm so afraid from my last bf that he'll end up not wanting to see me because of it.

It takes a while for me to open up and feel comfortable around a new person. I just hope he stays around long enough to realize it.

Would it be a bad thing to tell him I get anxiety around new people?

I don't think I would. He'll just be like "OK? I already know she's nervous around people, why does she need to tell me she has social anxiety?"

 

[FountainandFairfax]

I would just say that I'm really shy and leave it at that for now.

 

[philly2bits]

Do whatever you feel comfortable with. Don't let his behavior dictate what information you give out or keep to yourself. Like others have said if they are understanding they will give you the time you need.

 

[lithium]

Whatever works.

 

[Uber Schnitzel]

It takes a while for me to open up and feel comfortable around a new person.

If it were me I'd put it like this and leave it at that. I don't think you need to go into explaining SA. Let him discover anything else at his/your own pace. Exploring each other (emotionally and physically) is one of the great things about relationships

 

[Emma22w]

I'm currently dating a guy right now and I'm so afraid of him thinking I'm too quiet. I'm so afraid from my last bf that he'll end up not wanting to see me because of it.

It takes a while for me to open up and feel comfortable around a new person. I just hope he stays around long enough to realize it.

Would it be a bad thing to tell him I get anxiety around new people?

Girl, it depends on who you're with. If he is decent, and smart, and if he can relate to you in other aspects of life, then yes. He'd understand, and you should definitely open up to him, or at LEAST try. I have been with a few guys in my time, and only a scarce number of them understood me... and was happy with me.

 

[I_jailed_me]

Its very hard for Men who dont have SA to understand what it is! Probably you have to tell him that you can get very shy at times.. Men will always try to be the guy in shining armor and try to help you or protect you mostly it would work out well.

 

[Emily_G]

I would, I believe in openness and honesty in a relationship I told my husband about my stuttering about a week after we started dating, I'm glad I did. It didn't faze him one bit, he's a really good man.

 

[Falkor]

I also would!! Being honest is the best way I think. Because then he can understand why you are quiet. And then you can discover if he really cares about you, because caring people would absolutely accept the way you are.
I already told everyone I know about my SA, and they all are good to me, they even ask me how I am doing, if I'm feeling better, how it feels like, what I'm doing about it etc. They show that they are interested in even that side of me.
But of course It can end up bad, that he wants a girl without SA.
But believe me, one day he will know you have this, then you wont regret you told him

 

[Felgen]

If he likes you, then he will accept that you have anxiety. It might actually be a good idea to tell him, so that he will behave according to your anxiety.

 

[Pink_Paula]

I think you should tell him, it's better to be honest in a relationship and having SA is a big part of your life and he'll understand why you are so quiet if you tell him the truth.

 

[0dd1]

Ok. I think I'll tell him when i think its the right time. I just hope it doesnt turn him off.

Then again, he's a little quiet himself, so he still wants to hang out with me even though i don't say much:/

 

[Almost]

I once told my sort of girlfriend (complicated-ish) about my Social Anxiety, and it ended up with her trying to treat me different, like when planning on going somewhere she would ask something like "well are you going to be ok with your anxiety if we do this?" or something. I didn't like it, I wish I didn't tell her.

 

[Kustamogen]

Tell him ASAP!!!!....better to know sooner than later whether he can deal with it or not! Any caring empathetic guy would understand....just gotta see if he can deal with it!

 

[0dd1]

Tell him ASAP!!!!....better to know sooner than later whether he can deal with it or not! Any caring empathetic guy would understand....just gotta see if he can deal with it!

But thats what I'm afraid of! I really like him and I don't want to lose him.
What do i even say?? "oh btw i have SA"

 

[Kustamogen]

I tell anyone I meet and get to know right away about my panic disorder.....

I just bring it up casually.....just gotta say something like "you know how I seem shy and such? well I have something called social anxiety....." then just explain what it does to you etc.....dont make it a huge deal and he will understand.....

but better to get it out in the open sooner especially if you like him so much.

 

[0dd1]

I tell anyone I meet and get to know right away about my panic disorder.....

I just bring it up casually.....just gotta say something like "you know how I seem shy and such? well I have something called social anxiety....." then just explain what it does to you etc.....dont make it a huge deal and he will understand.....

but better to get it out in the open sooner especially if you like him so much.

Yeah you're right. Better to tell him now then when its too late and i'm in a situation with him where i can't do something because of it.

like if he has me call somewhere or do something in public? he'll have no idea why i won't want to do it...

 

[k123dave]

I would tell him 0dd1, you will always be taking a chance telling him, he might not understand, but if he is a decent gent then he will accept it. I really wish you the best of luck with it!
I don't think any SA'er should go out with someone who does not understand and respect their partners SA, as it simply backfires on the person with SA and the relationship fails.