Should I stop trying to socialize in the internet?

[Nowascki]

I met a few people online, in internet boards and such. I feel happy to have someone to talk to (I don't have real life friends), but the problem is, I always think these relationships are one-sided. Nobody is nearly as interessed in talking to me as I am in talking to them (at least I feel like this).

Other aspect that is difficult to me is the group thing. In the internet board I frequent more there is many little groups of people with the same interests. I can manage to met one person, but I can't manage to blend in with the group, so I feel left aside (this one person will not leave his group to talk to me or something).

There's only one person who I'm very happy to have met. He send me a private message asking me my skype and if we could be friends. After this he often talks to me about many things. The thing that makes me happy is how he takes the initiative to talk to me. He didn't enter in this kind of groups which I talked about, so I feel like he actually values talking to me. Unfortunately this is a very unique case.

Sometimes I just want to never acess that forum again, to never enter in steam and skype and these things again, because I'm really hurting myself even if its a virtual thing. I create unrealistic expectations and everything goes wrong.

Do you guys think I should keep trying to met and be friends with people online or maybe I should left all this because its unhealthy?

PS: really sorry about my english, but bear with me and try to understand.

 

[jaim38]

You could practice socializing online as a first step to getting over your social anxiety. Once you've mastered online interaction, move on to harder things like calling and in person interaction.

 

[mismeek]

I think youre worrying too much. If they didn't want to talk to you, then they wouldn't people have a much easier time blowing people off on the internet than they do in real life. The people who talk to you, talk to you because they like you!

 

[Anomaly]

It's easier in some ways to socialize in person. For instance, a shared activity such as going as a group to a theme park can minimize the need to constantly come up with things to talk about, which is more critical in purely-online friendships. Building friendships based on meaningful common interests -- particularly online -- may yield a greater signal-to-noise ratio; it's more likely that there is something to fall back on when there are no current events to talk about.

Also, your English is perfectly fine.

 

[TLB]

You have good English

I say, don't worry so much. Some people you meet are lovely, and others aren't. Also, people can be busy as well, so that can affect things. If you want someone to talk to, you can talk to us

 

[goblin]

Socializing on the Internet is fine, but it has a lot of faults and if you rely on it for connection it can leave you very lonely. On some forums I frequent, no one talks to me except to argue with or contradict me. On others, even though I posted in several threads to help out other struggling members mine received no responses. The kind of camaraderie and quid pro quo that nurtures friendships and good feelings is very rare online.

 

[BlueWeepingRose]

Don't completely stop trying to socialize over the internet. And you're not alone cause I'm the same way. I always try to meet friends online to talk too but not everyone seems interesting in talking to me and than I end up feeling horrible about it after awhile. It's great to have friends online but some consume all you're time online, not sure how often you go online though. Try to take a break away from the internet a little bit each day and do something for yourself. Get yourself involved in arts and crafts or something that will keep you're mind busy. Anytime I worry a lot I end up reading a book or something creative so I won't worry as much. Socializing over the net is great cause you meet a bunch of interesting people, but do something for yourself as well. Hope I helped you out in some way. ~hugs~

 

[Livemylife]

Honestly, I'm not sure. All I know is that I suck at socializing online because I suck at socializing period. So being behind a screen doesn't make people easier to understand. It is very structured socializing, but sometimes people respond in unexpected ways. Well, I find people in general unpredictable but sometimes I'm utterly shocked while other times I'm just caught off guard.

 

[Bronson99]

Socializing on the Internet is fine, but it has a lot of faults and if you rely on it for connection it can leave you very lonely. On some forums I frequent, no one talks to me except to argue with or contradict me. On others, even though I posted in several threads to help out other struggling members mine received no responses. The kind of camaraderie and quid pro quo that nurtures friendships and good feelings is very rare online.

Have you not found some friends or kindred spirits online, here and there? And also, just because someone likes to argue or contradict you sometimes, it doesn't mean they think less of you, or something. It may just be a tendency they have. Some folks are natural "contrarians"...

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

After a while, socializing on the internet leaves you feeling empty.

 

[jaim38]

^Yeah, it becomes so easy that I don't find it challenging anymore. But, I highly recommend socializing online such as on this forum as a first step to conquering social anxiety. I used to be so afraid of starting a thread, writing about embarassing issues, and being the first to comment on someone else's thread.

 

[goblin]

Have you not found some friends or kindred spirits online, here and there? And also, just because someone likes to argue or contradict you sometimes, it doesn't mean they think less of you, or something. It may just be a tendency they have. Some folks are natural "contrarians"...

Every year or two, yeah. Doesn't mean it isn't disappointing that people focus so heavily on the negative or the need for correction.

 

[Bo592]

I never got feeling like I am taking to a real person when I am on the web. it just don`t feel like real commutation to me. There more to commutation then just words there body language and doing good deeds for people too. that why I am powerless to make friends on the web. I don`t thank people are the same as they are in real life. People just don`t feel real on the web to me.

 

[Bronson99]

Every year or two, yeah. Doesn't mean it isn't disappointing that people focus so heavily on the negative or the need for correction.

Well if someone is being too negative or critical, etc, they may not be aware of it... let them know, there's no shame in doing so, and you might be doing such a person a favor.

On the other hand, consider throwing them a bone anyway.. some people are just going to be blunt and prefer to say what they are thinking. Being offensive and being blunt are not often the same thing.

Just my two cents, anyway :thumbup:

 

[S_Spartan]

The internet is chock-full of what I like to call "Opposite People" meaning that they get some small charge or some reason to get out of bed in the morning by going online, finding your post, and replying with whatever is opposite of what you say. They may actually not even believe in what they are posting but they simply cannot help themselves, they must contradict you and discredit your opinions at all costs.

 

[Srijita52]

I never got feeling like I am taking to a real person when I am on the web. it just don`t feel like real commutation to me. There more to commutation then just words there body language and doing good deeds for people too. that why I am powerless to make friends on the web. I don`t thank people are the same as they are in real life. People just don`t feel real on the web to me.

Yeah same with me. Online interactions have their own merits but it just can't be a substitute for offline interactions. Also its easy to misinterpret things online. Do try and meet people online but try to meet people offline as well.

 

[goblin]

Well if someone is being too negative or critical, etc, they may not be aware of it... let them know, there's no shame in doing so, and you might be doing such a person a favor.

On the other hand, consider throwing them a bone anyway.. some people are just going to be blunt and prefer to say what they are thinking. Being offensive and being blunt are not often the same thing.

Just my two cents, anyway :thumbup:

No, they're aware they're being critical and focusing on what they don't like. That's the point of arguing. My criticism is about how hard it is to generate anywhere near the same level of enthusiasm for anything else, which makes it hard for online forums to be a truly social, empathetic environment.

Not looking for a "fix," anyway, just stating my personal perspective and experience.

 

[Bronson99]

No, they're aware they're being critical and focusing on what they don't like. That's the point of arguing. My criticism is about how hard it is to generate anywhere near the same level of enthusiasm for anything else, which makes it hard for online forums to be a truly social, empathetic environment.

Not looking for a "fix," anyway, just stating my personal perspective and experience.

Well if a "critical" or "contradictory" person seems to think that you are friendly or interested in talking to them, but you decide it's not worth it any more, I think it is best to actually tell them you're done, just make up any excuse.

I've had times where I thought conversation was going very well, it seemed like the other person wanted to be a friend, and then bam.. they just don't reply anymore and provide no reason for why, not even any hints that I was doing anything wrong. I think the humane thing is to actually inform the other person, rather than ignoring them. That always hurts more, IMO.

 

[goblin]

Well if a "critical" or "contradictory" person seems to think that you are friendly or interested in talking to them, but you decide it's not worth it any more, I think it is best to actually tell them you're done, just make up any excuse.

I've had times where I thought conversation was going very well, it seemed like the other person wanted to be a friend, and then bam.. they just don't reply anymore and provide no reason for why, not even any hints that I was doing anything wrong. I think the humane thing is to actually inform the other person, rather than ignoring them. That always hurts more, IMO.

Not sure if you're not listening or just not understanding. Seems to be the former. Officially checking out.

 

[Nowascki]

Thank you for the answers ^^

I'll think in what to do from now on.