Should I quit or carry on?

[cobalt_bluester]

Hello, I have been a member of this forum for a long time now, and I need some advice.

I am suffering from pretty serious depression and social anxiety. I have been doing a voluntary job as computer tutor every Friday afternoon for about 8 weeks or so. I found the woman in the reception to be very friendly and nice with me at first. However, for the last couple of weeks she has all but ignored me. She spoke to me upon my arrival, but did not even look at me when she spoke - how rude!!:thumbdown: I was somewhat offended by this particuarly as I asked her how she was, yet she did not reciprocate. I feel I do not deserve this sort of negative attitude as I am a good, kind hearted guy who is pretty sensitive and I am struggling with serious issues yet still trying to move forward in my life by doing this voluntary work.

I keep telling myself that I should quit the job because I am finding it so hard to deal with this negativity, but I know that if I do it's like letting her dictate things. However, I do not need this hassle or negativity in my life right now because it's hard enough surviving from day to day without this ignorant attitude. This is not the first time I have had people act very negatively towards me. I feel like I am being judged on the way I look and the way I act, not for the good person that I know I am. I think people must think I am someone who is to be avoided, but I cannot for the life of me appreciate why. I feel that some people need a good shake, and to be told that not everyone is happy, acts 'normally' and that depression and anxiety are not a sign of weakness but real illnesses just like a physical illness.

So, I wanted to know what you would do if you were in my situation. Should I just quit, or should I persist with the job knowing that this receptionist obviously finds something about me that isn't to her liking? Thanks for listening everyone.

 

[kihira]

Don't take her attitude personally, she may be having a hard time out of work or some other issue. I've had the same thing happen at work with some who could be moody one day and pleasant the next, I thought for ages that it was my fault until I realised she was simply having good and bad days. Even if the negativity is directed at you then all you can and need to do is to remain cordial and try not to absorb her problem :thumbup:

 

[cobalt_bluester]

Thanks kihira, I will try and take on board your balanced viewpoint. More comments are warmly welcomed

 

[Alosha_Ali]

hunny , dont care about people
I know its sometimes hard but no one is going to help you or be beside you at the end only yourself so dont give a single shit about her
here we all know how you feel and we can relate to u cuzz we had this situation before
so dont let her attitude stop you from having a happy and amazing day

go on man :thumbup:

 

[dottie]

her behavior reflects upon her, not you. (and poorly, too) do you have to work in close proximity to her all day? or is she someone you just have to pass by?

 

[Flanscho]

I think that you exaggerate.

She doesn't know you. How should she? She doesn't know how sensitive you are or what problems to have. And since a person at the reception meets lots and lots of people, that is all but perfectly normal and understandable.

Also, you don't know her. You don't know what problems she might have. Maybe she got a cancer diagnosis. Maybe her child died. Who knows? You don't. You don't know what she is struggling with.

She has done nothing to attack you in person, but you act as if she runs after you each day to personally insult you and throw rotten vegetables at you.

Even if she simply is not a nice person, it's a normal situation in a heterogenous society. You can't flee from that. You can try, but that will make everything worse.

 

[gummybear22]

seems like you're reading too much into her actions that you've told us. she could've been busy and wanted to keep on with her work, or she's one of those people who are friendly to new people, then goes back to regular once they aren't as new-if that's the case, that's her problem, and you can either continue being nice and trying or you can give her the same as she gives you

 

[MikeyC]

Don't take her attitude personally, she may be having a hard time out of work or some other issue.

100% this.

She used to be nice to you, and then all of a sudden she isn't? Sounds like it's got nothing to do with you and everything to do with something in her life.

If you are comfortable, you could even ask her if everything is okay. She might even welcome the concern and friendliness from another person.

 

[hardy]

This happens a lot to me...especially when i have very few people to go to. There is so much expectation from only one person, if they react a little negatively the whole world falls apart.

My friend who also happens to be a psychologist tells me, it's important to have a bigger circle. If one is not handy, meet someone else. And once you have gained enough confidence these things don't bother. Right now, we r seeing things from our perspective...when we meet more people , we understand it's not just us who has problems. And this might be the way to overcome social anxiety.

But one needs to expose oneself, with coping strategies. Slow by slow...we get habituated. I am meeting a psychiatrist today as i need a little medication under the present situation. Then i plan exposure therapy with my meditation friends and practice daily meditation, and slowly decrease medicine. Let me see if it works

 

[HexNoir]

It's not about you. It's her problem, so although it can be upsetting, someone is bound to be *that guy* (or in your case, woman) sometimes. Even if someone is being terribly rude to your face, it's usually their deficiency.

I get clients like that all the time. The more people like that you encounter, the easier it gets. Especially when you hear via gossip that *that guy* or *that woman* is like that to literally EVERYBODY they talk to. This is often times the case. I hope you can recover and move on with your life. Keep your head up.

 

[hardy]

It's not about you. It's her problem, so although it can be upsetting, someone is bound to be *that guy* (or in your case, woman) sometimes. Even if someone is being terribly rude to your face, it's usually their deficiency.

I get clients like that all the time. The more people like that you encounter, the easier it gets. Especially when you hear via gossip that *that guy* or *that woman* is like that to literally EVERYBODY they talk to. This is often times the case. I hope you can recover and move on with your life. Keep your head up.

good points...even people without anxiety have these issues i think. Nothing to be embarrassed about.

 

[Kiwong]

You should carry on.