School lunchtimes

[squidgee]

So my school has decided to screw me over by closing the library all day everyday for the entirety of next week. That library is the only place to 'hide' without appearing too weird and it was where I would read or do homework, it was pretty much my only lifeline holding my SA together at school lunchtimes and now it's gone. :sad:

I can't stop thinking about it now and I can't bear to be by myself in the main spaces, exposed for everyone to see. I would sit with some 'friends' but because of SA reasons, I highly doubt I'll be brave enough to do that just yet. My current plan is to just sit and do work in one of the main spaces and just cop it, but if there are any not too drastic solutions to my problem I'm very open to suggestions.

Does anyone have any tips to counter this situation? Or has anyone gone through similar experiences?

 

[sahxox]

I don't know about solutions as such but something that has worked for me is if you pretend you still are in the library. Easier said then done, but execute your plan of sitting in the open space or whatever and if someone or something is intimidating, pretend they aren't there. Obviously if they are trying to interact with you this can be difficult, but if you carry on as normal, this shouldn't be an issue.
Throughout middle school I often had this problem, as friends would be away or in trouble or something, so I would be by myself. When the library closed, shit went down mentally as well. I'd just hang out the front, pretending to read stuff, then go for a walk and spend heaps of time fixing my hair in the bathrooms, waiting for time to pass.
It should be acceptable for you to study or read in open spaces, but unfortunately dumbass kids just don't always understand. Good news is that once you hit HSC or even year 11, it becomes more 'normal'. (that's if you're not already there ) Also something I discovered at the end of last year, high school doesn't last forever.
Best of luck

 

[doctor_who]

I used to sit in a classroom at lunch and breaks. One of the teachers knew that I had trouble with sitting in public so she arranged her room to be used for people to use to sit away from the crowd. Maybe you should spsak to your headteacher or a teacher you trust and ask if this is possible. There was usually a group on during the week too it was a religious group I am not getting into my religious views but it was a group I felt safe and secure in so id sit with them at lunch. Id also if weather was nice sit outside on a bench and eat my lunch.

 

[Saga]

I would just get books and read them. =) Find a quiet place and then just sit there, if there are any! Otherwize, does your school have any computer labs that are open? I usually go there if all my buddies are otherwize occupied at lunch. :3

 

[Steelsoul]

Yeah, I guess the best solution for your problem now is to get familiar with it. Just focus on what you are doing, and don't pay too much attention to other people (unless they think you are lonely and want you to sit with them, this is likely to happen) Good luck

 

[jaim38]

This is weird, but I used to eat lunch at the library. In secret of course. I would go to the furthest place away from people and from there, hide behind the bookshelves and eat lunch. When I hear footsteps coming, I would grab a book and pretend to be reading. Sometimes I eat in the staircase.

I used to sit at the cafeteria with my friend but when she's absent for the day, I either go to the library or go to the girl's restroom and eat lunch there. It stinks in the restroom of course, but over time I got used to it. I've been bullied in the cafeteria before so was afraid of eating there alone.

 

[Falkor]

Great to read that I'm actually not alone on this. I had a hard time sitting in the canteens, I would never sit ALONE in the canteen, I would be afraid everybody would be looking at me. It's so full and everyone's staring..Eek. But some of the times I could manage to stand with the classmates, and when I was 15 I didn't have SA so I sat with the girls and boys all the time, but when I reached 16 I started to experience this huge phobia, but when I got back in college after fighting 3 years of streetfear (yeah mostly you could say it was SA), and a lot of therapies and courses for my phobia, I was back in school at my 19th. I didn't make friends at first, I was the anxious person, and I had tics when I was sitting with people, like constantly making sure my face wasn't looking awkward, so self concious about my facial expression, that I was getting eye tics and winked them all the time, It was really awful. Just because of nerves. But I outgrew them luckily. But what I'm trying to say is: I was a stupid awkward person at first, but later on they talked to me in the canteen. But sadly, everytime I was standing with them, I felt the urge to keep talking, sometimes I felt 'out of the group' and I was standing with my hands in my pocket like A scared bird...I still feel like this, and I hope it ever goes away...I hided most of the time outside, in the woods, I just walked there with my music in ears, and even I hided at a snackbar where nobody went to..Yeah I'm a big time avoider. And I hate it.

 

[jaim38]

I just read the thread
http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/hunger-increase-social-phobia-34898/

Maybe there's a correlation between hunger and SA. No wonder we feel more anxious around lunchtime.

 

[drakir]

i cant use the library... cuz theres people there. so just do like me, use the toilet. and you can use bad stomach as an excuse

 

[jaim38]

^plus after you finish lunch in the restroom and feel like you need to go, the toilet is just a few inches away from you. Very convenient.

 

[squidgee]

Maybe there's a correlation between hunger and SA. No wonder we feel more anxious around lunchtime.

If there is a correlation that would certainly explain a lot. I don't eat at school and only eat lunch when I get home. This is because food/drink isn't allowed in the library. Sometimes I wish I wasn't such a goodie goodie.

use the toilet. and you can use bad stomach as an excuse

I've thought about it, but I'm scared someone will notice me entering the toilet and staying in there for 40 minutes or so. Not even a bad stomach makes for a very convincing excuse for that. Still, I might actually try this as a last resort, if I'm really feeling the anxiety.

Good news is that once you hit HSC or even year 11, it becomes more 'normal'.

That's true, I'm in year 11 now and it definitely feels more acceptable to be studying more at school.

As it turns out, I was mistaken about when the library is closing for the whole week. It's actually the last week of school, which is the week after next week. At least that gives me some breathing room between now and then. Thanks for all responses.

 

[MikeyC]

if someone or something is intimidating, pretend they aren't there.

I'm sorry, but this never works. Pretending someone intimidating you doesn't exist is an impossibility.

I used to sit in a classroom at lunch and breaks. One of the teachers knew that I had trouble with sitting in public so she arranged her room to be used for people to use to sit away from the crowd. Maybe you should spsak to your headteacher or a teacher you trust and ask if this is possible.

This is what I was going to suggest. :thumbup:

 

[sahxox]

I'm sorry, but this never works. Pretending someone intimidating you doesn't exist is an impossibility.

Lol let me clarify... I am not referring to when someone is physically in your face communicating with you, as ignoring that is an impossibility. I am referring to when someone is sitting in the open spaces studying, thinking everyone in the area is focused on them, as Squidgee mentioned. Just gotta try and rationalise that actually they are not, and if that doesn't work, I'd pretend that no one else is there so I wouldn't feel intimidated.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

Hey do you have a bike? Can you bring it to your school? Maybe ask your parents to bring it to your school sunday night or monday morning and leave it there for the week, so you can go ride your bike during lunchtime, or just ride far enough so you can have lunch in some park where there won't be 20 000 kids from your school?

 

[drakir]

not being able to eat in public is one of the symptoms of social anxiety disorder