Responsible for silence.

Weirdo

Well-known member
Do you feel guilty/responsible for awkward silences? I realized that this is just another reason why I avoid people. People seem to be less talkative when I'm around or something. I'm also typing this because my flatmate just came here and we didn't say anything besides "hi" and I felt like I should have said something more, but I didn't know whether or not he would be interested in a convo with me. Also in the mornings when we get up we usually just get prepared in silence and I feel that if there was someone else instead of me, they would talk. Damn these social conventions...I feel bad for not starting a conversation even though I'm not interested in having it in the first place.
 

Honda

Well-known member
Maybe you dont interact enough with them that they find it difficult to communicate with you... People like us show our inside on our faces so people tend to find it kind of difficult or boring to deal with..
 
U

userremoved

Guest
Stuff like that frustrates the hell out of me. The feeling that I'm somehow sucking the joy out of people with my very presence. I dunno, talk about random and nonsensical things and see if you can get some kinda reaction out of them. May not be right but at least you'll get a response.
 
Not having a thang to say, especially when someone's sitting opposite a you, can be very painful. At first I didn't want to be obtrusive, so I wouldn't bother bothering others by talking. Now it turns out that it ain't called 'obtrusive' but 'interested', something most people like to feel from others. Sometimes I hear 'why are you always so quiet?', sometimes I hear 'can't you even shut up for a single minute?', the combination tends to confuse me.
 
I feel the same way. And I know that part of it is me being paranoid that no-one likes me and all of that, but some of it isn't! Even if I'm occasionally feeling comfortable around people it still happens, so it's not just that I'm being awkward around them!


The best example I can think of is in the hairdressers. In a woman's hairdressers the hairdressers yap on and on for the whole time they're doing your hair, making small talk and asking millions of questions, and they never EVER talk to me! Even though I reply to all their questions and ask them questions too, I somehow put them off! Grr!
 
I feel the same way. And I know that part of it is me being paranoid that no-one likes me and all of that, but some of it isn't! Even if I'm occasionally feeling comfortable around people it still happens, so it's not just that I'm being awkward around them!


The best example I can think of is in the hairdressers. In a woman's hairdressers the hairdressers yap on and on for the whole time they're doing your hair, making small talk and asking millions of questions, and they never EVER talk to me! Even though I reply to all their questions and ask them questions too, I somehow put them off! Grr!


I have the same problem at the Hairdressers too!:confused:Even when I try to make the same useless small talk that they are and pretend to be interested in it!
I am always worried that if I can't find something to talk about with people, that after a while of the awkward silence they must be thinking that I am really stupid!:(
 

shore_of_glass

Well-known member
Been there today myself, my friend.
In the metro with my colleague from university. She asked all the questions and I just replied briefly and said nothing. Then, awkward silences until I got to my station. And she's 41 years old. Imagine with a girl my age.

I'm sick of this shit.
 
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userremoved

Guest
Well, what usually kills me when others ask questions is it's usually about things I know nothing about. People try to talk to me about sports or cars and I no little about either. And you can't really BS them in small talk cause they can see through it. I need to find a small talk class or book or something.
 

oui

Well-known member
It's only "Awkward" because other people can't handle it. We are bombarded by noise daily. When someone doesn't conform to the jumbled up information of today's modern world, others feel uncomfortable, thus making any sort of silence "awkward."
 

thor01

Well-known member
Yeah, I agree. There's no real reason is should be awkward, or that silence must be filled, its like you said, because most other people can't handle it. Therefore it feels to me like I am thought of as uninteresting to others in a situation if there is silence. It would be nice to be in a situation with someone who doesn't have a problem with silence if there isn't anything to say haha.
 

juju

Active member
Been there today myself, my friend.
In the metro with my colleague from university. She asked all the questions and I just replied briefly and said nothing. Then, awkward silences until I got to my station. And she's 41 years old. Imagine with a girl my age.

I'm sick of this shit.
Don't feel as though you have to take responsibility for "awkward silences" after all, any conversation is (unless your unlucky) between more than 1 person, and if there are silences, the other person owns this as well. By the way the quote by Neitzche is brilliant.
 

Avarak

Member
I get awkard silences all the time, I only feel totally comfortable talking to a certain few individuals.
 
I always blame myself for the awkward silences. I blame myself for not having better social skills or wonder if I should just give up talking all together. I would hate to live with a roommate who barely spoke to me or acted disinterested in me... I'd wonder all kinds of things. I would really try to change that.
 
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SpLynx

Well-known member
I dont feel guilty, I am comfortable with silence so it is others' problem if they are not.
 

recluse

Well-known member
Yeah, I agree. There's no real reason is should be awkward, or that silence must be filled, its like you said, because most other people can't handle it. Therefore it feels to me like I am thought of as uninteresting to others in a situation if there is silence. It would be nice to be in a situation with someone who doesn't have a problem with silence if there isn't anything to say haha.

I agree! I find that silence does not bother me but it seems to bother other people.
 

zlench

Well-known member
I only feel awkward if people expect me to talk when I can't come up with nothing to say.
 
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