Relationship Issues

[Krista]

DISCLAIMER: I feel like everyone is going to get a little peeved with me about all the threads I'm posting..I'm sorry!

I was just wondering, of the people here, how many of you are in relationships or married?

1) How hard was it to start a relationship with that person?

2) Is it ever a struggle for you to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner?

3) Was it hard for them to understand your problems and what do they do to help you out with them?

4) How did you even broach the subject of your SA with your partner?

For everyone who isn't in one, my questions to you are:

1) Do you ever feel like you're missing out on having one?

2) How do you cope with your feelings?

3) How does your SA negate you from "going after it" or "just living in the moment"?

As far as I'm concerned when I do actually find a guy that I'm interested in, it takes so much to get to the point of just telling him the fact. I try to be as social as possible sometimes because I don't want to be limited to just the small circle of friends that I have. Most of the time they're saying negative things about me because they don't fully understand the problems I have and they're still very immature for their age. Obviously your friends are suppose to understand and uplift you, which would be the total opposite of mine. And when not even your friends have positive things to say, it tends to reinforce the constant fears you have about yourself because I feel like they feel the same way I do about myself. Off subject, sorry. But the point is that I tend to go for older guys because I view them as not so narrow minded as the people I know and they have more life experience to better understand things. But no matter if I like someone I don't know as well or even someone I somewhat trust, I don't know how to bring up the issues I have without feeling like they're not going to understand me and I'll make a complete fool out of myself.

For instance if I were to start liking a close friend of mine, I change. They know me as their friend and understand my personality(even if they don't understand why I act that way) and I should be able to at least be semi comfortable around them but it doesn't feel that way. Now I feel like the situation has changed dramatically and I don't know how to handle it. If I had doubts about them as my friends, it's even more amplified thinking about them romantically. I feel like yes, they know me but they're looking at me as a different person now. Not as their friend but as a potential girlfriend and this brings back all negative thoughts x10. So after, I might get uncomfortable if they try to show me affection in public or I feel like they're judging me, maybe thinking that I don't look good enough, thinking hurtful things about me in their head and I over analyze every gesture or movement they make. If they look to long at my friend I feel like this is a sign that they like her more than they like me. And the fact that I'm paralyzed by my own fear so I don't want to talk or move or make eye contact with them doesn't help because I know they're wondering why I'm acting like this. As their friend I was a little bit more loose, laughing and engaging in conversation but as something more I know they think I'm acting like I'm possibly repulsed by them or that I'm playing games by acting like I don't like them. So the gist of it is that they leave and then I'm left to figure out how I can get over this and not be alone forever.

How did you get over all of this or was this even an issue for you?

 

[Nack]

1) Do you ever feel like you're missing out on having one? YES_

2) How do you cope with your feelings? I can't that's why i'm socially inept and am here in this site. I mean i'm bottling it up, but its leaking out... I find myself easily infatuated with girls i've never met.

3) How does your SA negate you from "going after it" or "just living in the moment"? Because I fear rejection, or if i get passed into the "girl/boy friend stage" i feel i wouldn't be able to sustain that relationship because of the way I am. But at a different angle, i think maybe it might change me for the better or worse. My true instincts are blinded by S.A and i'm afraid to see who i really am without S.A.

 

[Why]

For everyone who isn't in one, my questions to you are:

1) Do you ever feel like you're missing out on having one? **** YES

2) How do you cope with your feelings? SOMETIMES I FANTASIZE ABOUT RANDOM GIRLS I LIKE IF THEY WERE MY GF, MOST OF TIME IM EMOTIONLESS

3) How does your SA negate you from "going after it" or "just living in the moment"? TOO SHY TO TALK TO GIRLS, SCARED THEY WILL FIND OUT MY LIFESTYLE ONCE WE GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER... BAD CYCLE


btw makin threads is good.. gets dull here

 

[Nack]

For everyone who isn't in one, my questions to you are:

1) Do you ever feel like you're missing out on having one? **** YES

2) How do you cope with your feelings? SOMETIMES I FANTASIZE ABOUT RANDOM GIRLS I LIKE IF THEY WERE MY GF, MOST OF TIME IM EMOTIONLESS

3) How does your SA negate you from "going after it" or "just living in the moment"? TOO SHY TO TALK TO GIRLS, SCARED THEY WILL FIND OUT MY LIFESTYLE ONCE WE GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER... BAD CYCLE


btw makin threads is good.. gets dull here

For sure, especially those medical threads...*shivers* I'm sorry i can't understand 1/4 of what those people talk about...

 

[Krista]

That actually helped a bit. Your part about being easily infatuated with girls you've never met strikes a chord because I do that myself. I believe it to be that I attach myself to guys fast because of my need to be in a relationship and want for one but like I said above as soon as they show an interest in me, I can't handle the situation. Bad for us.

As for Why, I understand your answer for the first question, I think. I find it's easier for me to daydream about someone I like being my boyfriend than being put in the actual situation.

 

[Why]

For sure, especially those medical threads...*shivers* I'm sorry i can't understand 1/4 of what those people talk about...

exactly LOL!
i cant even say the word hydrohdyasidfdsfdsif

man i wish i could talk more about SA issues more than just this forum

 

[206Raider]

1) Do you ever feel like you're missing out on having one? yep, I've had many chances but blow them with my anxiety, and that's what I truly want in life, I never wanted a big fancy house or nothing just loving wife like on some bonnie and clyde, us against the world stuff. lol most guys my age think I'm crazy when I say that, they trying to run through as many girls as possible.

2) How do you cope with your feelings? I don't, I kind of block them out, becuase if I think about it or fantasize about it, I get depressed about it, I guess like Nack says this is kind of my outlet for that

3) How does your SA negate you from "going after it" or "just living in the moment"?

hmm, I guess I really fear rejection or them seeing me after being with me as a boring person who is too miserble a lot, but I know if I was with somebody I would be a lot more happy after getting to know them. I dated a couple girls in school but it was never serious, the thing that got me was that I always liked in middle school and this girl moved away but came back in high school and we had the same classes and we instantly got really close, we spent all day together she always wanted to hold my hand through the halls and we only hung out with eachother but I knew she liked me of course and people told me this but I was so scared she seemed to good to be true and so I finally asked her out after it seemed like forever but then she said she met another guy and she said she waited for me but I didn't do it and my heart broke to a million pieces. I used to think I could never be happy without her and she was the only one we were still friends but I had those feelings still so I had to let her go becuase I couldn't stand to see her with somebody else when it should have been me. I'm much better now but that hurt is in the back of my mind.

and I relate completly to what you said in your 2 paragraphs. especially the part about being afraid to take the relationship to the next level that's how I was feeling in what I just said to question 3. A lot of my friends also left me or just don't understand why I do't want to party and drink til 5am and go to work at 6am like them.

 

[Darker Than Black]

I try not to think about relationships, they make me sad

 

[HH]

For everyone who isn't in one, my questions to you are:

1) Do you ever feel like you're missing out on having one? Yes, all the time, especially now I'm getting older and everyone is in long term relationships and getting married/having kids/progressing in life relationship wise.

2) How do you cope with your feelings? In the typical bloke way-I don't talk about it or do anything about it except write it on here and listen to some loud music when I'm pissed off about the situation. Although I did try some hypnotherapy to build confidence but it was a complete waste of time.

3) How does your SA negate you from "going after it" or "just living in the moment"? I still don't know if I have full on SA but I'm quiet introverted and keep to myself which doesn't help matters. I also blush easy and get embarrassed easy so I try and avoid situations where I have to "expose" myself emotionally like asking a girl out. I think I also have some kind of avoidance problems, so all of this doesn't help my dating experiences. Its a sorry state to be in.

 

[Krista]

I'm sorry to hear that but you're definitely not alone there. We all feel the same and it's nice to know that at least you have here to vent your feelings.

 

[Danfalc]

I dont think anyone is getting peeved with you posting threads,besides thats what this forum is for so post and vent away

"I was just wondering, of the people here, how many of you are in relationships or married?"

Yeah I'm In a relationship,we broke up a while back and just got back together.

1) How hard was it to start a relationship with that person?

Hard and easy,it was easy as we seemed to click,we started talking over the net so we were able to take time to get to know each other.It was hard to get the guts to meet though.

2) Is it ever a struggle for you to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner?

Yes,we both suffer from social phobia and depression,which is great as we understand each others problems and can be supportive.But at the same time if we are both down,it can be hard.

3) Was it hard for them to understand your problems and what do they do to help you out with them?

No,she really understands obviously as she goes through the same thing.And her understanding just helps in itself,I dont have to constantly explain myself.

4) How did you even broach the subject of your SA with your partner?
Easy as we both have it.

 

[Krista]

I dont think anyone is getting peeved with you posting threads,besides thats what this forum is for so post and vent away

"I was just wondering, of the people here, how many of you are in relationships or married?"

Yeah I'm In a relationship,we broke up a while back and just got back together.

1) How hard was it to start a relationship with that person?

Hard and easy,it was easy as we seemed to click,we started talking over the net so we were able to take time to get to know each other.It was hard to get the guts to meet though.

2) Is it ever a struggle for you to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner?

Yes,we both suffer from social phobia and depression,which is great as we understand each others problems and can be supportive.But at the same time if we are both down,it can be hard.

3) Was it hard for them to understand your problems and what do they do to help you out with them?

No,she really understands obviously as she goes through the same thing.And her understanding just helps in itself,I dont have to constantly explain myself.

4) How did you even broach the subject of your SA with your partner?
Easy as we both have it.

Thank you so much for posting because I haven't had anyone who's been in a relationship do that yet. How hard is it for both of you to be dealing with it if maybe you both aren't having the best of days if you don't mind me asking?

 

[Danfalc]

Thank you so much for posting because I haven't had anyone who's been in a relationship do that yet. How hard is it for both of you to be dealing with it if maybe you both aren't having the best of days if you don't mind me asking?

Definatley hard sometimes,very hard,its like because we both have the same issues we can support each other more.But at the same time,that means we can both get insecure and paranoid.Yknow its hard to feel good enough for someone when you have self esteem,so jelousy can be an issue,not out of mis trust just out of self doubt.And some days it is hard enough to support yourself let alone someone else.

and your totaly welcome,if there is any specific questions you want to ask feel free

 

[LycraPantiies92]

I was just wondering, of the people here, how many of you are in relationships or married?

Never have, never will

1) Do you ever feel like you're missing out on having one?

no. i wouldn't be, nobody wants me anyways, that much has been made clear. don't need anybody anyway. i'm fine alone.

2) How do you cope with your feelings?

cry. wish. dream. plot murder.

3) How does your SA negate you from "going after it" or "just living in the moment"?

i can't speak to anyone.

Most of the time they're saying negative things about me because they don't fully understand the problems I have and they're still very immature for their age. Obviously your friends are suppose to understand and uplift you, which would be the total opposite of mine. And when not even your friends have positive things to say, it tends to reinforce the constant fears you have about yourself because I feel like they feel the same way I do about myself.

Yip.

Off subject, sorry. But the point is that I tend to go for older guys because I view them as not so narrow minded as the people I know and they have more life experience to better understand things.

If i could i would 2 but nobody older or my age is arsed about me.

How did you get over all of this or was this even an issue for you?

Can't answer.

 

[lunarla]

Decided to turn down the volume of Journey blasting in my room to reply to this.

1) How hard was it to start a relationship with that person? Not very, really. It was sort of just fell into, we had been friends for a long while, and still are, he's my best friend. But then one day we were just kinda like, "So hey.." and realized we were just together and that was that. We got very close due to us both having some issues, some related and some not. And maybe that's a recipe for disaster? Both having problems. But I don't think so. I mean, it makes things more difficult, but that kind of thing also brings you closer. And I think a lot of people have issues to one extent or the other (Well, everyone does, really). So, perhaps springing up a bit of a more serious conversation like that where you both open up about something and then you both get to understand each other and realize you have something deeply in common.

2) Is it ever a struggle for you to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner? Always. Well, a great majority of the time because of me. Well, a lot to do with me. I am extremely insecure. I get the exact same things you were talking about. Neither of us our really the PDA type and I like that. I love it. But then something at the back of my mind, laced with insecurity tells me that it's because he's embarrassed of me or doesn't want people to know that we're really together. But then I rationally know that we're both just not like that. Also, I basically have an inferiority complex next to every girl. Especially a friend that I hang out with particularly a lot. I think what made it really bad for me is that when he didn't know that I was soooo terribly insecure he mentioned that she was attractive. Which she is. He wasn't being a jerk, you should be able to tell someone you're in a relationship something like that just casually and for it to be nothing. Not with me. I ruin myself over it. It is always at the back of my mind. I know that she is more attractive than me, and not only that she has a good personality too so it really sucks. He insists that he doesn't like her. Rationally, I would believe that and I know who he is and that he wouldn't. But I cannot take it. Just even the fact that he finds her attractive or that he knows she's attractive even? Which is completely ridiculous. The majority of the time we argue, it's about that. I wish so much that I could just accept that and understand attraction and believe things that he tells me. On top of that, it's also really hard to completely be there for each other when we both have our problems that are very prevalent. Honestly, his are worse than mine in reality, mine are just so bad to me because I let them get that way and I can't cope. Other than that, I'd say we have a really healthy relationship though. But my insecurity pushes everything over the deep end.

3) Was it hard for them to understand your problems and what do they do to help you out with them? Hmmm. At first when he didn't realize how bad it was, I don't think it was hard for him to understand. But now, I think it's really hard for him. He doesn't understand why I just can't take his words and feelings and everything and believe him. Neither can I. And it really is a blow to his character because I should believe him because he is a great person. I just can't manage to get passed it. That being said, he doesn't really necessarily help much. Well I don't know, maybe I blame him for too much that he doesn't even do. Probably. He tries to help, he really does. But it's really up to me to get over all of the nonsense I have going on in my head. But at this point, because it's happened so much where I get irrationally insecure and go on and on and nothing helps, that he just tells me to 'talk to him when I feel better.' That sends me through the roof and I get so frustrated because I don't understand why he can't just listen to me. But then rationally, I sort of do. All in all, he does help me and he has, it's just hard on both of us at this point.

4) How did you even broach the subject of your SA with your partner? It's not a big deal. We both just talk about anything, nothing is off limits. We often talk about disorders. It really is great to have that.

That being said, to really really have a great relationship these problems have to be overcome or at least for the most part. I'm still struggling with it and it would be sooooo much easier without them and if it could settle down a bit. But with a good person, they would understand, I'm sure. And everyone has something like that, a little bit of baggage.

<re volume-izes Journey>

 

[Krista]

Decided to turn down the volume of Journey blasting in my room to reply to this.

1) How hard was it to start a relationship with that person? Not very, really. It was sort of just fell into, we had been friends for a long while, and still are, he's my best friend. But then one day we were just kinda like, "So hey.." and realized we were just together and that was that. We got very close due to us both having some issues, some related and some not. And maybe that's a recipe for disaster? Both having problems. But I don't think so. I mean, it makes things more difficult, but that kind of thing also brings you closer. And I think a lot of people have issues to one extent or the other (Well, everyone does, really). So, perhaps springing up a bit of a more serious conversation like that where you both open up about something and then you both get to understand each other and realize you have something deeply in common.

2) Is it ever a struggle for you to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner? Always. Well, a great majority of the time because of me. Well, a lot to do with me. I am extremely insecure. I get the exact same things you were talking about. Neither of us our really the PDA type and I like that. I love it. But then something at the back of my mind, laced with insecurity tells me that it's because he's embarrassed of me or doesn't want people to know that we're really together. But then I rationally know that we're both just not like that. Also, I basically have an inferiority complex next to every girl. Especially a friend that I hang out with particularly a lot. I think what made it really bad for me is that when he didn't know that I was soooo terribly insecure he mentioned that she was attractive. Which she is. He wasn't being a jerk, you should be able to tell someone you're in a relationship something like that just casually and for it to be nothing. Not with me. I ruin myself over it. It is always at the back of my mind. I know that she is more attractive than me, and not only that she has a good personality too so it really sucks. He insists that he doesn't like her. Rationally, I would believe that and I know who he is and that he wouldn't. But I cannot take it. Just even the fact that he finds her attractive or that he knows she's attractive even? Which is completely ridiculous. The majority of the time we argue, it's about that. I wish so much that I could just accept that and understand attraction and believe things that he tells me. On top of that, it's also really hard to completely be there for each other when we both have our problems that are very prevalent. Honestly, his are worse than mine in reality, mine are just so bad to me because I let them get that way and I can't cope. Other than that, I'd say we have a really healthy relationship though. But my insecurity pushes everything over the deep end.

3) Was it hard for them to understand your problems and what do they do to help you out with them? Hmmm. At first when he didn't realize how bad it was, I don't think it was hard for him to understand. But now, I think it's really hard for him. He doesn't understand why I just can't take his words and feelings and everything and believe him. Neither can I. And it really is a blow to his character because I should believe him because he is a great person. I just can't manage to get passed it. That being said, he doesn't really necessarily help much. Well I don't know, maybe I blame him for too much that he doesn't even do. Probably. He tries to help, he really does. But it's really up to me to get over all of the nonsense I have going on in my head. But at this point, because it's happened so much where I get irrationally insecure and go on and on and nothing helps, that he just tells me to 'talk to him when I feel better.' That sends me through the roof and I get so frustrated because I don't understand why he can't just listen to me. But then rationally, I sort of do. All in all, he does help me and he has, it's just hard on both of us at this point.

4) How did you even broach the subject of your SA with your partner? It's not a big deal. We both just talk about anything, nothing is off limits. We often talk about disorders. It really is great to have that.

That being said, to really really have a great relationship these problems have to be overcome or at least for the most part. I'm still struggling with it and it would be sooooo much easier without them and if it could settle down a bit. But with a good person, they would understand, I'm sure. And everyone has something like that, a little bit of baggage.

<re volume-izes Journey>

FIRST I have to say....you had me at Journey lol. I think you just became my new best friend. Everything you said rings completely true with how I feel and have felt in relationships, even casual ones with almost every guy I've "been" with and even in just life in general. I put quotations because I feel like anything between a guy and I hasn't actually been enough to be called a relationship. I consider one to be two people, in an open relationship with each other for a significant amount of time(at least two months) and that's not something I could do. I've said before that sometimes I know I can become very enamored with guys quickly because of this feeling that drives me to think I need to have a boyfriend at times. I get the most lonely when I'm around my friends and their significant other, watching them get the attention I'd like to have but so scared when I do actually have it. Sometimes I feel like "I'm almost 19 and how long has it been since I've had that?" It's embarrassing being the only one out of the group with no one. It's just another thing that raises doubt in my mind. Rationally I know that I don't have someone because I push every guy away with my insecurities but in my head I don't have a boyfriend because I'm not attractive enough for anyone, I don't have this amazing personality that keeps people interested in me, I'm boring them and they can't stand to be around me.

The truth is that, as I don't think I'm beautiful or anything close to it, I know I'm not ugly. But I feel ugly.

When I'm not the center of attention, everyone isn't focused on me and I'm allowed to fade into the background a little bit, I can become more relaxed. At least with my friends. It makes it easier to show that I might not have the all around, make friends with everyone persona but that I do have a good personality. But it doesn't help anything because inside I feel like I make everyone else around me uncomfortable and miserable.

In question 2 when you said that you have an inferiority complex next to every girl, that's me too. It doesn't matter that I could spend an hour doing my makeup and trying to look my best, when I stand next to another girl I feel like every problem I see with myself is highlighted for everyone else to see. They're thinking that I'm not skinny enough, pretty enough or likeable enough already and I haven't even opened my mouth yet. Of course when I do reach inside myself and pull out enough strength to talk to whoever's company I'm forced into, I don't think anything I say matters to them. Like "why do I bother" because nothing I say is going to be enough to hold their attention, I'm a disinteresting person. They've already checked me in their minds as the girl not to pay attention to.

I also have a best friend who I'm with all the time and I feel like I wouldn't be able to bring a guy around her because I could never compete with her. I feel like her body is better than mine, she's much more attractive than I am and she gets along great with everybody. Especially guys. All I have to do is see one side glance, one look that I feel lasts too long and I've already lost them. They must like her better and why shouldn't they. She's everything that I'd like to try and be and more. It tears me up knowing that I have to bring someone I like around her because when I realized that she's got everything a guy likes, I knew I could never be that.

 

[lunarla]

FIRST I have to say....you had me at Journey lol. I think you just became my new best friend. Everything you said rings completely true with how I feel and have felt in relationships, even casual ones with almost every guy I've "been" with and even in just life in general. I put quotations because I feel like anything between a guy and I hasn't actually been enough to be called a relationship. I consider one to be two people, in an open relationship with each other for a significant amount of time(at least two months) and that's not something I could do. I've said before that sometimes I know I can become very enamored with guys quickly because of this feeling that drives me to think I need to have a boyfriend at times. I get the most lonely when I'm around my friends and their significant other, watching them get the attention I'd like to have but so scared when I do actually have it. Sometimes I feel like "I'm almost 19 and how long has it been since I've had that?" It's embarrassing being the only one out of the group with no one. It's just another thing that raises doubt in my mind. Rationally I know that I don't have someone because I push every guy away with my insecurities but in my head I don't have a boyfriend because I'm not attractive enough for anyone, I don't have this amazing personality that keeps people interested in me, I'm boring them and they can't stand to be around me.

The truth is that, as I don't think I'm beautiful or anything close to it, I know I'm not ugly. But I feel ugly.

When I'm not the center of attention, everyone isn't focused on me and I'm allowed to fade into the background a little bit, I can become more relaxed. At least with my friends. It makes it easier to show that I might not have the all around, make friends with everyone persona but that I do have a good personality. But it doesn't help anything because inside I feel like I make everyone else around me uncomfortable and miserable.

In question 2 when you said that you have an inferiority complex next to every girl, that's me too. It doesn't matter that I could spend an hour doing my makeup and trying to look my best, when I stand next to another girl I feel like every problem I see with myself is highlighted for everyone else to see. They're thinking that I'm not skinny enough, pretty enough or likeable enough already and I haven't even opened my mouth yet. Of course when I do reach inside myself and pull out enough strength to talk to whoever's company I'm forced into, I don't think anything I say matters to them. Like "why do I bother" because nothing I say is going to be enough to hold their attention, I'm a disinteresting person. They've already checked me in their minds as the girl not to pay attention to.

I also have a best friend who I'm with all the time and I feel like I wouldn't be able to bring a guy around her because I could never compete with her. I feel like her body is better than mine, she's much more attractive than I am and she gets along great with everybody. Especially guys. All I have to do is see one side glance, one look that I feel lasts to long and I've already lost them. They must like her better and why shouldn't they. She's everything that I'd like to try and be and more. It tears me up knowing that I have to bring someone I like around her because when I realized that she's got everything a guy likes, I knew I could never be that.

Journey besties! I can't stop listening today for some reason.

I think it's important for us to just know that we're good people and worthy. I know how hard that is though, my mind is so warped into thinking otherwise. Honestly, I can already tell by reading the things that you say that you are a good person! And worthy, most everyone is worthy. ("Except me!" revolts my insecurity in the back of my mind.) And apparently looks aren't the biggest deal. I have problems coming to terms with that one in particular, but people say that. There's even a thread on here about it, and while many state that looks are important, they can only do so much. I'm trying to come to terms with this. I really tend to feel like such a superficial and awful person for thinking the way I do about looks, but it really is just directed at myself irrationally. My best friend (boyfriend is such a weird term) says that basically, he likes me because I'm me and he likes me. And then in the back of my mind I think "Well, why can't he like me for being really attractive and for me? (See? So warped and irrational and vain) I know I'm not really attractive. But I cannnnnnnnnn't some how handle that I'm not. Because if I'm not really attractive, then everyone is more so and if everyone is more so, then he knows it too. And with how I think, I can't handle that.

When you talk about people checking you out of their minds, that's probably not true for everyone. Maybe some, but not everyone. And to the ones that do, I don't think you should care. For me, I don't necessarily care if other people thought I was the most dull person or not at this point. It's just that my insecurities are heightened so much so with being in a relationship so I systematically compare myself to every girl walking by, though I don't care what she particularly might think of me.

I know all too much how you feel with bringing someone around your friend. That hasn't happened for me and I hope that it doesn't. With how I am insecure right now, it probably doesn't matter if he just made quick eye contact with her like a normal person, or stared at her, I would read either negatively to the same extent. It's such a challenge, but for now I'm just trying not to obsess quite as much.

 

[reslo]

btw makin threads is good.. gets dull here

i second that!!

im in a relationship for a couple weeks

1) How hard was it to start a relationship with that person?
it was hard for me personally. I met this person randomly, at a club (which is unusual for me to go to) and gave them my number because i didn't think they would call. But they did- and i avoided this person's phone calls and texts for 10 days. But they were persistent, so i decided to give him a chance.

2) Is it ever a struggle for you to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner?
It's hard because i feel like they are a lot more interesting than I am, and we live 2 hours apart, and i have to share the car i drive... however, he's been putting in a lot of effort into this relationship and i really appreciate it, and that makes easier for me to open up alittle bit more. I've been trying to just let it happen, giving the relationship an honest shot and if it fails, let it fail- not trying to just immediately reject them before they can do it to me, which is what i usually do.

3) Was it hard for them to understand your problems and what do they do to help you out with them?
It's early in the relationship and I don't think it's become an issue yet. I haven't had to meet anyone he knows yet or visa versa. I am not quite sure when he'll realize that i can't hold a conversation- most of my responses are just nervous giggles. There are some things that have started to come up, but he's pretty understanding & nonjudgmental.

4) How did you even broach the subject of your SA with your partner?
Personally, I try to downplay my issues. I say that im a shy reserved person, and i think he knows that.

 

[agoraphobickatie]

krista and lunarla, i feel for you girls! i'm practically the same way... i have to say i'm super tired and didn't read every little thing y'all said (sorry!), but i just wanted to say about us all being insecure and feeling inferior next to that "attractive friend" or whomever.. it's totally true that some guys just WON'T see that person that way or feel attracted to them in the way that they do you.. know what i mean? just let your mind rest a little knowing that just because YOU feel she/whoever/other girls are more attractive, there WILL be other people who don't feel the same, ya know? i wish i could explain that easier, hehe.. but i just know that i'm one of those people who does get complimented and some people do seem to find me attractive, and i understand that OTHERS may see me that way, but i don't at all.. i have a picture in my head of what i'd like to look like, and i don't look that way... but not everyone is like us! some people are just going to find us to be absolutely gorgeous and we gotta take that in and almost see it as hey, whatever, if you see me completely different than i see me, then good for me! i'll take it! haha

kk sorry for the jumble of words! i should get to bed, huh! haha, best wishes to you both! ...and freakin' love journey as well!!

 

[206Raider]

all I have to say to you girls is......DON'T STOP BELIEEEVINNG! LOL

serious though, I love ya'll personalities more than a girl whose full of herself with the prettiest looks, it don't matter to me, when we get old we loose our looks and ya'll defintly ain't ugly! Ya'll are beautiful!!