Rejection stories

[Requiescat]

I have never approached a girl/woman for those reasons, therefore have never had the opportunity to be rejected in that way. However, my last girlfriend cheated on me. We decided to stay together after that - yes, I was a fool par excellence - but many months later I came across one of her emails. She had the strange habit of printing some of her emails and I happened upon one left carelessly amongst her schoolwork. It was a response from the person she cheated on me with, and the message he responded to said "I am not saying it didn't mean anything, because it did". Those words hit me hard. She also went on to say how I was supposedly wanting us to get married and generally painting a picture of me as this clinging thing that wanted a white picket fence kind of life. Nothing could have been farther removed from the truth. I had to marvel at her ability to do this yet be all nice and innocent to my face! Compartmentalization at its finest. I learned a lot about seeing people as they really are, and only have myself to blame. In hindsight there were several red flags I should have paid attention to long before that. So that rejection was the worst for me, because I had already invested time and energy in that person. It would have been better had we never met.

 

[Metal_isthe_Answer]

Ive been pretty lucky, pretty much everyone has just told me they didnt really think of me in that way. I ended up giving up entirely though, havent asked a woman out in probably 6 years

 

[Argentum]

Girls aren't welcome to tell how guys used to joke about going out with them?

 

[Halym]

Girls aren't welcome to tell how guys used to joke about going out with them?

Yeah, you are absolutely right...

 

[toowilling]

Being told: " I am not in to you.."

Very cinematic...

 

[theoutsider]

I remember trying to ask this teller at the bank I used to go to out. She used to work at the drive up window. So I figured I would start by asking for her phone number. She just said, "Aww, you're shy aren't you?"

Now this was before my SA really kicked in and I really didn't have much problems with asking women out. I don't know why she said that. I do know that she never gave me her phone number...lol. I just took it as a way of her telling me she wasn't interested. I never tried with her again.

 

[deleteduser50890]

When I was in the 6th grade I became friends with a boy who shared my passion for anime . I eventually developed feeling s for him because he was really kind and was an easy going person with everyone in our class. Hm, I think around the time my feelings were developing I began chatting with a new girl who was the apple of his eye. I was too young and stupid to connect the dots between them so I didn't think much of their roughhousing. I think sometime later in the year i told one of my friends to tell him that i liked him and he said he wasnt sure how he felt or something. Welp, one day a popular girl of my homeroom class threw a huge pool party and invites everyone. I believe the last day of school was only a few days away and I got ocd about looking perfect for the guy when the party came around. Anyways I went and tried to impress him and needless to say made a bafoon of myself. It totally turned him cold and he eventually professed his love for the new girl later that evening. I was crushed and left the party early with a broken heart. Lol. The next day the new girl said she was sorry and I remember wanting to throw a stick at her. Lol

 

[deleteduser50890]

Delete delete delete

 

[SCP-087-1]

I don't think I have ever been rejected. I've only ever asked women out when I was fairly certain they would say yes. All of my previous relationships ended with me breaking up with them.

I have no experience with being rejected romantically but the thought of it is terrifying.

 

[R3K]

I have a few reverse-rejection storyies if that's even a real thing. ..

in 6th grade, one of my buddies had a girlfriend, and her friend wanted to be my girlfriend so we could all be this cute double couple thing or w/e. problem was, I was terrified of relationships (social interaction in general,) so when she asked me out via a note I basically froze up.

everyone in the class seemed to know about it, which made the pressure even more intense. I was afraid I wouldn't know how to act around a "girlfriend" so I didn't want to accept her offer. problem was, the act of rejecting her would cause hurt on her, and resultant anxiety for me. it was a terrible situation that sucked for the both of us. I basically didn't respond and shelled up socially. all the other kids in the class were like "i can't believe he didn't respond to her... etc."

later on that year, the same thing happened again, but with an aggressive 5th grader who kept sending me little candy presents and stuff. I signalized to her that I didn't want to go out with her by sending her little presents back, but she was persistent about it. at least i was able to kind of indirectly notify her that i wasn't interested, again, because of f*ckin social anxiety disorder.

i'm not sure what's worse, being rejected by a girl, or having to reject a girl that's interested in u because of ur anxiety.. whatta you guys think? :kickingmyself::kickingmyself:

 

[Odo]

I'm not sure what's worse, being rejected by a girl, or having to reject a girl that's interested in u because of ur anxiety.. whatta you guys think? :kickingmyself::kickingmyself:

Obviously being rejected is worse... are you serious?

If you reject someone else then you at least know someone wanted you, even if you end up alone. If someone just flat-out rejects you, then you feel unwanted AND you end up alone.

I've never been as cruelly rejected as some of the people on this thread... I'd imagine that's in part due to the fact that I only express interest in people who I know will at least be nice about it if they're not interested... and I suppose I have a pretty good sense of character at this stage in life. I also have a good sense of when it could never ever work.

People are pretty superficial and that means me too, but I like to think that realizing that helps me separate the pretty faces from the good hearts... and I'll always go for the latter or some combination of the two over the former.

I've been rejected a LOT, but it was usually because of my personality, which can be pretty overbearing when I'm not in some way intimidated by someone. I like to think I've mellowed since my younger days, however.

 

[fate12321]

Funny cause I'm usually the one doing the rejections. I've had a few girls back in school like me and I've even had a few ask me out. I rejected them all. It's not because I didn't find them attractive, it was mostly cause I couldn't handle that type of pressure. The pressure to be with someone. So yeah. I guess I'll share a story of a girl that i like and the pathetic attempt I made to try to talk to her.

So, my last year in high school, there was this girl that somehow noticed me. It was my first year riding the school bus, (my parents couldn't pick me up or drop me off from school), so i had to take the bus. Anyways, a few weeks passed by and I had this random girl come up to me and started talking to me. It was the girl that liked me friend. She basically told me that her friend like me and she wanted me to talk to her.
For me that was a huge "hell no!" Time passed and my friends found out about this girl and they did the impossible for me to talk to her. Eventually I sort of started to develop a crush on her and I just decided to go for it. I went up to her during lunch and just basically told her to come sit with my friends so we can talk.... that's when things went wrong. I chocked. I immediately regretted going up to her and told her to come sit with my friends. So yea, I basically had this huge panic attack and just blew it. Those were 10 long, painfully awkward minutes I had to endure before I got up and left.

So yeah. That's my story.

 

[Megaten]

Obviously being rejected is worse... are you serious?

If you reject someone else then you at least know someone wanted you, even if you end up alone. If someone just flat-out rejects you, then you feel unwanted AND you end up alone.

I dunno Im on the fence with this one. I've missed quite a few very VERY obvious opportunities for romance because of SA and to me it felt just as bad as the like, 2 measly times I worked up the courage to ask someone out and got shot down. Probably because they were polite about it. But the former just feels so bad because, if you like someone and they make the first move, and you run away, you really have no one to blame for being single but yourself. If someone rejects YOU at least you can say you tried your best because thats really all you can do.

 

[Megaten]

This. This is exactly how I feel. There have been opportunities, but because of my shyness and anxiety, I always run away. And you're right... I just have myself to blame. It's the most frustrating feeling, to know that you CAN be happy with someone, but you just can't do it. It's so bad for me, that when I know someone is romantically interested... Is when I have the worst anxiety. I become completely paranoid, and I end up shutting myself away. I've looked into this, and there is such a thing as dating anxiety or "love-shyness".

It is because of my shyness, I am never one to approach men, except twice... And they just kinda stood there. Both times when I worked at a club, and granted... It wasn't the ideal place for conversation.

I have had one relationship in the past, and what ultimately led to our breakup was his rejection of me while we were together. We are opposites. And although it didn't bother him in the beginning, it eventually did.

My idea of fun is reading with the occasional game of scrabble. He was a going out with the masses kind of guy. But he hated that I never went out with him, when he did group activities with his friends... especially when they took their girlfriends. He often said that the other girls thought I was stuck up and cold blah blah blah. I did try to change, but it still wasn't enough. I had gotten so used to him, that I could not sleep unless he was there.... This due to PTSD. So id go nights without sleep, because he was mad at me... And as punishment he refused to be by my side while I slept. That, and he was always mad. He didn't agree with alot of what I believed, and instead of respecting my beliefs... He would be mean. Eventually we just drifted apart.
Anyway.... I ended up breaking up with him and swore to never get that attached again.

Well I do hope that you'll someday cross paths with a guy who better fits your personality and when you're ready for it. I wouldnt shoulder the burden of that breakup alone though, as you said you tried to meet him halfway. If he couldnt accept that then I wouldnt know what to tell the dude.

 

[Bronson99]

Something is amiss here... you all have had relationships and yet you all, allegedly, have social anxiety.

*does not compute*

I guess the likely answer is empathy and/or some of you may like to be around people (!?), but social anxiety usually strips one of the skills needed to go through the standard motions, so of course, I'm confused. My experience hasn't been at all amenable to relationships. I don't understand how other people work.

 

[nodejesque]

Well I do hope that you'll someday cross paths with a guy who better fits your personality and when you're ready for it. I wouldnt shoulder the burden of that breakup alone though, as you said you tried to meet him halfway. If he couldnt accept that then I wouldnt know what to tell the dude.

Thank you, megaten

 

[deleteduser50890]

When I was 8 years old I attended summer camp and had a crush on some boy. (I never found out his name). I don't recall telling anyone about but one day in the lunch room I saw him sitting alone. I felt the urge to go up to him but shyness overcame me. So I asked some guy I was friends with to go up and ask him if he thought I was cute. The boy I was crushing on turned around at me and very quickly shook his head. =\


I had just about lost my marbles after that.

 

[deleteduser50890]

When I was in the 5th grade I liked a boy who was in grade 8. I rarely saw him but whenever I did my friends would have to escort me away because I would have little anxiety attacks. Ugh, I was so over the hills for him. Anyways, someone told him that I liked him and he told one of my friends that I rode the bus with that he wanted to meet and talk with me. Welp, when the time came I just freaked out and ran the opposite direction. A day later while I was walking to the school bus to go home a group of angry girls surrounded me. A redheaded chick got in my face and started threatening me, told me to basically **** off and stop talking to him. She claimed to be his girlfriend but another person I rode the bus with said he was single. -.-. I was beyond terrified because she looked like she could beat me up anyways so I just didn't pay attention to him anymore. After that crap he repeatedly tried to talk to me when he saw me but I just ran off. I found out later that he just wanted to be friends with me. lulz

 

[deleteduser50890]

I think it was about freshmen year when I developed a crush on a guy who was in his senior year. I remember getting so antsy minutes before lunch because I shared that period with him and he always sat with his friends in front of me. Anyways later in the year my male friend informed me that he was on the same soccer team as my crush and that he was aware that I liked him. But he had girlfriend and thought I was cute though. Annndddd that was that.


His girlfriend turned out to be a girl I also shared lunch period with. It was pretty much torture for the rest of the year because I had to watch them flirt and playfight while I tried to enjoy my French fries and chicken nuggets.

 

[DanielLewis]

Just recently, I was rejected by a girl I work with. She's 18 and asked for my number because I'm older and she thought I'm cute. So, over the past couple months, we went out on three dates. First date was a walk on the beach on a nice sunny day. It didn't go great, but not bad either. It's just I didn't have much to say because of the shyness. I was nervous about running out of things to say, so I looked up questions to ask on dates beforehand. There were still a few silences and the conversation didn't flow that well. Yet, we still went out again, next time to a drive-in, which she suggested. Of course, this probably means she was hoping I get a little physical and kiss her, but I didn't, and I regret that. We only cuddled. I think this was my first crucial mistake because she sensed a lack of confidence after that for not going for the kiss. Hell, I haven't even kissed a girl yet ever and I'm 23-years-old so of course I was nervous. I just wish I would've went for it so I could finally get my first kiss. Anyway, after that she started showing less interest, and, after I asked her out again, said she couldn't hang out for three weeks because she was going out of town. I played it cool until she asked me out for a drink after work. I blew it here. I don't have much experience flirting with and teasing woman, but I tried, and unintentionally insulted her instead. Me: "I like your nails" Her: "Thanks. They were done badly." Me: "Because you did them?" Then, after I stroked her hair telling her how soft it was because I wanted to kiss her and make up for last date, she said she had to get going right away and offered me a hug. Her: "I just hope I don't annoy you at work." Me: "You just get in my way sometimes, but not in a bad way. You can't help it." Yep, I shot myself in the foot. She doesn't want anything to do with me now, especially since our work situation has been awkward. I'm shy at work so I don't talk to her other than saying "Hi" or "Hey, how are you?" and that's it. I've also showed a lack of confidence and shyness so I think she's completely turned off now. It sucks because I thought this could have turned out to be something really good in my life. She's one of the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on, not kidding. And, she asked for my number and was initiating texts with me at first! Yet, I blew this opportunity. *facepalm* 23-years-olds and still never had a girlfriend or a kiss. But, on the positive side, at least I got some experience and this did motivate me to start a journey of self-improvement. I want to be ready next time. This came out of nowhere. I mean, what girl asks a guy for his number before they've even talked to each other?