Problem with people staring at me in public settings

[cobalt_bluester]

People are most likely looking at you because you're beautiful. I know that this reason wouldn't help me but hopefully it helps you? My anxiety is worse when I'm being observed or analyzed as well but I'm going to try not to take it personal because I do the same to others. I don't do it to be mean, or to pick out flaws. I've always been this way.

hi. believe me they're not looking at me because I'm beautiful. More probably because I look a bit of a freak or am looking back at them the wrong way or something. I get so tense and wound up with eye contact and it has become quite painful and unatural to be honest. it hurts my feelings when I feel I am being analyzed. I cannot stand this non-verbal think it does my head in!!!!

 

[cobalt_bluester]

When I'm out and people that stare it does make me feel uncomformatable and I have to get out of there somehow

hi. do you find you can outstare people? I try to but often can't. It just gets too intense and uncomfortable for me kind of like that person is trying to get inside my head, intimidate me or something. I hate people who think they're better than anyone else, we are all equal end of.

 

[cobalt_bluester]

hi thanks for your comments they are very valid.

 

[dooby-duck]

hi. i don't know how you manage to blank people out, I am too anxious and self conscious to do that.

It is very strange. I always scan the area wherever I am, but rarely ever look at peoples faces. I think it must be to avoid eye contact, which then usually means avoiding any kind of contact. So I know they are there and what they are doing but avoid any kind of contact. I could never hold eye contact with someone for any length of time.

 

[mikestar]

Its funny the build up to when u pass someone in the street,most people do same thing to try and avoid eye contact.
Look to the left,look to the right,look at the floor,look at your watch and then 2 seconds of eye contact.

I have gone a bit other the top with eye contact before, I've just stared blankely and I think it made me worst,made me look like a murderer and seriously disturbed.

Just try and pretend you havent seen them by occupying yourself with a phone or whatever,then when they about to walk past just glace for a few seconds

I've lost my temper numerous times with people staring at me....never will know what it actually is, I could have few guesses tho

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

hi. believe me they're not looking at me because I'm beautiful. More probably because I look a bit of a freak or am looking back at them the wrong way or something. I get so tense and wound up with eye contact and it has become quite painful and unatural to be honest. it hurts my feelings when I feel I am being analyzed. I cannot stand this non-verbal think it does my head in!!!!

Maybe people look at you because they find you interesting. While you're thinking "freak" others may be thinking "interesting". People would tell me things like, "Oh, they're just looking at you because you're pretty". Honestly, I never cared about that. I figured that people were staring at me because they were trying to find something to pick at. I would always say that I don't care if people are staring at me because they think I'm ugly! I just don't want people to stare. I think it's idiotic to assume that it's okay to stare at people because one finds them attractive. I think attractive people have a right to feel comfortable same as anyone else.

Next time someone stares, try looking at them back. I'm not saying stare at them, but if they're watching you then there's no reason why you shouldn't watch them back. Try not to worry about how they see you and just focus on what you see in them. Some people are just more observant by nature so try not to take it too personally when they do stare at you. They just see something that interests them and they want to look further. Ignore the people that give you bad vibes. It pisses them off. Just act like you're too good for them. They deserve it if they're being rude assholes and you'll have some amusement.

Try not to assume that people are looking at you for negative reasons. I find that I don't like being stared at because I think people are trying to find negative things. Sure, some are trying to find negative things, while others are just curious or appreciative. Don't worry about those people who are trying to find flaws. They're probably terribly insecure themselves. Some people might pick up on the fact that you're uncomfortable and that makes them curious. I have noticed that once I became more comfortable with people staring, the stares didn't last as long as when I used to freak out about it. If we were to think positive about ourselves, we probably wouldn't mind that people were staring at us. We wouldn't see the situation as potentially negative or threatening.

 

[cobalt_bluester]

Next time someone stares, try looking at them back. I'm not saying stare at them, but if they're watching you then there's no reason why you shouldn't watch them back.

The issue for me here is that I can't seem to look people in the eye without staring. This is because I am always overthinking where to look before I actually look at them. It's like I am being given 2 objects to look at but can't seem to decide which one to look at - my brain seems to get confused so it has become more of an issue than just simply confidence.

 

[cobalt_bluester]

yeah all the time when im out i do but im always feeling very anxious when out !

Do you also find it's very tiring and draining having to constantly worry about if people are looking at you or otherwise?

 

[dpr]

Maybe she was in deep thought and didn't realize she was staring at you? I do that sometimes. I'm lost in a daydream and then realize I have my eyes fixed on someone who is no doubt wondering why I'm looking in their direction.

 

[cobalt_bluester]

Maybe she was in deep thought and didn't realize she was staring at you? I do that sometimes. I'm lost in a daydream and then realize I have my eyes fixed on someone who is no doubt wondering why I'm looking in their direction.

That could well be true but I guess the tendency is to jump to negative conclusions, especially when you're feeling bad.

 

[AGR]

Sometimes I get nervous when I am walking by a group or some guys with girls,because they will usually try to show off,will stare you down or say something and sometimes there isnt a thing you can do,but not all people are this way,what I try to put in my head is that I am the same as other people,hard I know,if you go around thinking you are lower will will probably think other people are thinking this too.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I haven't been too anxious lately but the staring still makes me anxious.

 

[SarahRollstin]

It irritates me sometimes too. But you know what? It might be because they think you're attractive. I sometimes stare for long periods of time at guys that I find hot. I'm sure they probably have some kind of clue that I think they are good looking, even if my face is deadpan, because you only stare at things that are interesting. Things/people that are boring looking don't get stared at much do they? When people stare at me I generally take it as a compliment, even if it does make me uncomfortable.

 

[izzymarie]

Haha she was probably checking you out

I definitely get where your coming from though. I get super paranoid whenever I see someone staring at me too.. guess its just a part of the whole social anxiety package

 

[crazycat]

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[cobalt_bluester]

Crazycat I think people should learn to mind there own business. My eye contact problem goes way beyond what is normal social anxiety or shyness. I can't decide which eye to fixate upon!!! As a result I get some kind of distortion to my field of vision and this makes it's incredibly uncomfortable to look into people eyes. It is making my life complete hell and there is no remedy to this I know it whatever anybody else says. I think I would be better off dead now.

 

[cobalt_bluester]

Haha she was probably checking you out

I definitely get where your coming from though. I get super paranoid whenever I see someone staring at me too.. guess its just a part of the whole social anxiety package

she could have been checking me out as you say, but certainly not in a good or positive way as I was feeling completely stressed out at the time as I usually do. It completely sucks!!!

 

[blue-roses]

A teacher I once had used to say "How do you know they're staring at you unless you're staring at them yourself?"

My mum always says that and then I get annoyed, because you can tell if you're just scanning the room or whatever and every time you look at them, they haven't moved their gaze from where it was the last time you looked (i.e. on YOU)! Or you can just see them out of the corner of your eye - that's usually how I make sure people are/n't staring, by looking somewhere nearby so I can just tell without staring into their eyes.

I rarely get angry unless it's something to do with SA or I'm really anxious for some other reason, but I do get VERY upset when people stare! I would never have the courage to say anything to them, and I wouldn't want to anyway, because I know that, realistically, they probably aren't thinking anything bad about me, or thinking about me at all. Still, if someone's staring at my face, I'll make a point of turning RIGHT away from them and deliberately looking anxious, which I know is stupid because they'll then wonder what the hell's wrong with me. Sometimes I catch them staring at my feet or bag and so I'll move suddenly to snap them out of it.

 

[shygirly]

People usually stare at what fascinates them,take it as a compliment,smile and wink.

 

[cobalt_bluester]

People usually stare at what fascinates them,take it as a compliment,smile and wink.

And also stare at what they find odd too. I can imagine you get stared at a lot, you look beautiful.