Problem with people staring at me in public settings
- Thread starter cobalt_bluester
- Start date
cobalt_bluester
Well-known member
I am guessing she must have really liked the look of you, or perhaps she had some social issues. Perhaps you could consider asking the next person who stares at you why they're staring.Yes, I do get very angry when people stare at me.One time at the Dairy Queen a very cruel girl who was taking my mom's order for me and my mom kept staring at me the whole time she was listening to my mom and typing the stuff.
shamrock_girl
Active member
i hate when people stare at u its like u can feel it. but i can t even look at them i just get really clumsy or something and ill prob take out my phone and pretend to text!
cobalt_bluester
Well-known member
No, me neither it's just too intense!!!
shamrock_girl
Active member
me 2 i pretend like im "in a world of my own" but i know everthing thats going on so i can try to avoid it! its like im on a constant alert
hopethishelps
New member
Yes. Too bad at work, I have to run around in the retail floor and at the end, I get exhausted. More mentally exhausted than anything. I sometimes don't really feel anxious when I start my shift and I actually feel good. But then without any trigger, anxiety kicks in and eye contact problems and awkward body language kicks in.
Whats pissed me off so much the other day was when I was waiting for a ride after work, I was walking past a lobby area with a window and a man was sitting there slightly obscured by the window frame. I looked in at him and he started peering out from around the window frame looking at me as if he knew me. I turned away and walked around a few times, but every time I looked at him again, he would peer out from his hiding place again moving with large movements not even ashamed of what he was doing. Usually people stop looking after a few times, but this went on for many times and I couldn't deal with it anymore. I got so pissed I wanted to go in a punch him. He might have been paranoid since he had a Macbook Pro box in his had, but that does not warrant his rudeness. What a freak!
dottie
Well-known member
cobalt, sometimes i think you are my twin. and good for you for telling off that rude little girl! if she is bold enough to stare at you for that length of time she will get over it. she has to learn manners somehow. staring is rude, especially when the other person looks uncomfortable, as you described youself to be.
were her parents there? how did they react?
were her parents there? how did they react?
cobalt_bluester
Well-known member
Thanks dottie. I like the bit about being your twin, but I hope you don't mean identical twin as I am 6' 4'' lol. yes this girl was rude whether she was aware of what she was doing or not I just don't know. I somehow need to get over this if it happens again as I am making it far too personal for my own good. I think she could have been staring into thin air, but the thin air just happened to be my eyes!!! she wasn't smiling or anything so that automatically made me think she was looking down on me, and then when I sounded off at her she didn't even have the grace to apologise!!! Some people just make my blood boil with anger, do you know what I mean?
cobalt_bluester
Well-known member
hi lef, thanks for your input. I guess by getting upset and offended by people staring at us when we least want it, we are hurting ourselves more than anyone else. I somehow need to get over this ultra self consciousness and fear I am experiencing, but I don't know how to begin and my mind seems so stubborn with old thoughts, like it was cast in stone lol.
cobalt_bluester
Well-known member
hey lionheart, i also get very tired and emotionally drained when I'm in any public place as my problems are magnified tenfold when I go out of the house for any length of time. Sucks doesn't it all this crap?
cobalt_bluester
Well-known member
And lately at Subway and at Walmart a Walmart hairdresser looked at me like they thought I was weird. I can't even describe it but like they thought I should say something but I answered their questions.
I know it's hard crazycat, but we must try not to focus too much when people seem to be staring us down as it's their problem after all. Even then, I would have got annoyed with that hairdresser too!!
cobalt_bluester
Well-known member
Hi Serafina. Don't think they can be looking at me because I'm beautiful, besides I am a bloke, lol. I have big bags under my eyes and a very depressed and stressed looking face, so I don't see how anybody on this earth could ever find me "beautiful", more likely miserable and odd!!! lol
Shy_Gurl2007
Well-known member
I hate this more than anything, especially when little kids do it lol. I mean, if they would stare and then say something, it wouldn't be too bad. It's when they stare at you blankly for a minute that I get super anxious. I usually just avoid all eye contact and look at the ground.
Foxie913
Well-known member
It angers me to hell and back when people stare at me. I'm a little bit different to other people and it's that difference they can sense/see and makes them stare. I wish I had the guts to tell them to f**k off and mind their own business but as I'm super shy I can't and have to suffer with it in silence.
One time my mother and I were in a zoo and went into the zoo shop. After looking around for about a minute I had the feeling I was being watched so I look around and see the woman behind the counter staring at me full on. I didn't stare back because I don't like eye contact so I turned back around and was silently pissed off that she had no reason to stare at me. She made me feel like a freak and she must of been staring at me the whole time we were in the shop because I felt uncomfortable the whole time.
When we go up to the counter to pay for something she ignores me like nothing happened at all. I want to punch the rude bitch in the face. That happened seven years ago and it still sticks in my mind to this day.
Then there was the time when me and my mother were at a checkout in a supermarket and while we were waiting I noticed a woman waiting at the next checkout looking at me. I looked back at her thinking she would look away but she didn't. Her gaze made me uncomfortable so I turned my back to her. After what felt like a minute I looked around and saw that she was STILL staring so I turned back around until we were ready to leave the checkout. When we did I saw the woman walking off like nothing happened. I wanted to scream something like "Next time take a picture, it will last longer". I just wish people would leave me alone.
One time my mother and I were in a zoo and went into the zoo shop. After looking around for about a minute I had the feeling I was being watched so I look around and see the woman behind the counter staring at me full on. I didn't stare back because I don't like eye contact so I turned back around and was silently pissed off that she had no reason to stare at me. She made me feel like a freak and she must of been staring at me the whole time we were in the shop because I felt uncomfortable the whole time.
When we go up to the counter to pay for something she ignores me like nothing happened at all. I want to punch the rude bitch in the face. That happened seven years ago and it still sticks in my mind to this day.
Then there was the time when me and my mother were at a checkout in a supermarket and while we were waiting I noticed a woman waiting at the next checkout looking at me. I looked back at her thinking she would look away but she didn't. Her gaze made me uncomfortable so I turned my back to her. After what felt like a minute I looked around and saw that she was STILL staring so I turned back around until we were ready to leave the checkout. When we did I saw the woman walking off like nothing happened. I wanted to scream something like "Next time take a picture, it will last longer". I just wish people would leave me alone.
cobalt_bluester
Well-known member
I think little kids tend to stare alot they are just naturally inquisitive. I think that when I look at someone it's too intense so I tend only to look into people's eyes very briefly. I find eye contact very hard to master and quite confrontational too.
cobalt_bluester
Well-known member
It angers me to hell and back when people stare at me. I'm a little bit different to other people and it's that difference they can sense/see and makes them stare. I wish I had the guts to tell them to f**k off and mind their own business but as I'm super shy I can't and have to suffer with it in silence.
One time my mother and I were in a zoo and went into the zoo shop. After looking around for about a minute I had the feeling I was being watched so I look around and see the woman behind the counter staring at me full on. I didn't stare back because I don't like eye contact so I turned back around and was silently pissed off that she had no reason to stare at me. She made me feel like a freak and she must of been staring at me the whole time we were in the shop because I felt uncomfortable the whole time.
When we go up to the counter to pay for something she ignores me like nothing happened at all. I want to punch the rude bitch in the face. That happened seven years ago and it still sticks in my mind to this day.
Then there was the time when me and my mother were at a checkout in a supermarket and while we were waiting I noticed a woman waiting at the next checkout looking at me. I looked back at her thinking she would look away but she didn't. Her gaze made me uncomfortable so I turned my back to her. After what felt like a minute I looked around and saw that she was STILL staring so I turned back around until we were ready to leave the checkout. When we did I saw the woman walking off like nothing happened. I wanted to scream something like "Next time take a picture, it will last longer". I just wish people would leave me alone.
I'm like you, sometimes I feel furious when people stare at me and keep staring at me for no apparent reason! I also feel like saying something along the lines of... "Would you like a picture?", or maybe "What's your problem?" etc, etc.
Nowadays, I tend only to make very brief, momentary eye contact with people and passers by as I feel that because of my eye contact issues my gaze is just way too intense, and unnatural and people will be able to tell that somethings wrong with me! I think that maybe my gaze can come across as a little aggressive even though I am not in the least bit an aggressive person.
Like you I hate it when people continue to stare at you even after you have looked at them. It's like they are challenging to a fight or something! Sometimes, I think that people do not consider our feelings at all and don't realise how offensive it is to us when they stare at us continually.
The other week I was walking my dog, Jake just outside our house and this girl stared at me. She didn't glare at me or anything and had a very neutral expression, but she must have looked at me for about 7-8 seconds before she looked away. To me this was far too long and I did feel annoyed that she had looked at me for so long I really don't know why she did as I am outwardly a very depressed and troubled looking person!
This happened to me several times. I could feel the person's threatening aura, and I try not to look at that person.
When someone is staring at me, I don't point them out or embarass them. If I look too much at a person and that person points me out for it, I look away. I don't continue staring. But there were times when it gets scary when that person makes a big deal out of it and continues to call me out for it, even though I'm not even looking at him/her anymore. And the funny thing is, that person keeps staring at me far longer than I've stared at that person, and trying to turn everyone against me, calling me a perv or whatever. It's not fair that other people can stare at me however much as they want, but I can't look at people for more than 7-8 seconds without them calling me out and embarassing me, and sometimes bullied.
Almost everywhere I go, I feel like a black sheep. On the other hand, I know some guys who stare at other women but they DON'T get called out for it. One time I was dining with a former friend at a restaurant, and the friend kept looking at all the waitresses that walked by. He didn't get called out for it. On the other hand, I was so busy trying not to stare at anybody, for fear of being called a perv. I was very anxious. I couldn't even look at the waitress for more than 1-2 seconds.