Post your random thoughts/feelings etc
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
coyote
Well-known member
ooooh yes.::
It's so sad how some humans waste perfectly good oportunites.
my problem seems to be that i have so many different opportunities within my grasp that i have a hard time deciding which ones to pursue
Deus_Ex_Lemur
Well-known member
BlueDays
1
Deus_Ex_Lemur
Well-known member
hmmmm.......
Have you tried the 'ole eenie meenie miney mo? :
Like would with lemurs, not sure tigers and coyotes get along :
:
Pookah
Well-known member
My work is such that I tend to think to pass the time, since its manual labor stuffs. So I ponder dumb stream of consciousness things all day.
Anyway I think people like a challenge and when they get something too easily they don't appreciate it like they do something that they worked for.
Could be that the person feels safer with not having what they want actualized in case it ends up disappointing them.
Maybe they are not satisfied with themselves and so cannot be satisfied with anything/anyone else either.
Plain old greed is another possibility.
Anyway I think people like a challenge and when they get something too easily they don't appreciate it like they do something that they worked for.
Could be that the person feels safer with not having what they want actualized in case it ends up disappointing them.
Maybe they are not satisfied with themselves and so cannot be satisfied with anything/anyone else either.
Plain old greed is another possibility.
Beatmetrics
Well-known member
One day i'd like to enjoy the water the breeze and just go fishing...
KiaKaha
Banned
Am I the only one that feels that there is an exclusive inner circle of users on this site? Or is it just me...? I am beginning to feel that the amount of support isnt distributed evenly to ALL users. Just the ones that are included in the inclusive group.
Not having a go...no doubt an inadvertent by product. It just feels like high school all over again.
I just always thought with socially phobic people they might be more aware of people who have smaller voices.
Not having a go...no doubt an inadvertent by product. It just feels like high school all over again.
I just always thought with socially phobic people they might be more aware of people who have smaller voices.
Agent_Violet
Well-known member
I'm sorry you feel that way
I don't really know how to help you feel differently...I wish I could though.
Niteowl
Well-known member
I think it's really just that some people contribute more to the discussions, and get more engaged with everything that goes on here. These users form a bond, and they're more comfortable having a conversation with one another. If there is an exclusive inner-circle, I'm not a part of it, but even though I'd like to help everyone when they post about their troubles, I think I'd find it easier to post if I knew the person. Some people might take advice as criticism, for instance, so you've got to be more careful with the wording, and others will take light criticism as encouragement. I just think that knowing someone from the more conversational threads could make helping them a bit easier. That's just how I see it. I definitely don't disagree that it can feel that way though, after all I mentioned something similar this morning. I don't think there is one though - social anxiety makes us feel like we're not involved, and I wouldn't be surprised if the people in this inner-circle don't really feel like a part of it either. I really like everyone here, even though I haven't made any friends.
It changes, anyway, or for me at least - the perceived inner-circle for me (though again, it's all in my head) was different in April to what it's become now. It just goes to show that it's inclusive, that all we need to do is to open up a bit more and get involved in other threads, things like that. Everyone's friendly here.
i try to respond to every threads i have an answer to , i'm not excluding anyone , i have started to make friends here so , obviously i will be more open to chat with them , but i really don't make a selective circle
by the way i felt this way when i first got here .. i felt really left out , like i didn't belong , everybody seemed to know each other and i would get very few replies to my threads . I almost gave up and left , until i realized that this is the same for everyone here , i decided that i was going to stay just to try my best at helping others in the same situation , and maybe understand my problems a little bit better , the friends came naturally over time by participating
KiaKaha
Banned
mmmmm. Perhaps its more of a reflection on my own social skills. I do understand that. But seeing as its a social anxiety forum, its intimidating trying to be part of the community...particularly if you are new.
I just see it all the time in social settings, online and in real life. You meet a bunch of people who all know each other and no one wants to include you, because they dont know you. I dont like how thats how things are.
I dont mean to insult or berate anyone, because I know that 99% of the users here are awesome...and I can see it by reading everyones posts. Its just.. I dont know.. maybe its just my warped paranoid brain going into overdrive.
I think there needs to be a thread on social cues, and how to improve with socializing..skill wise. Not the anxiety side of it, but actual methods on how to actually DO it.
PS. thanks for the responses. I was scared I was going to upset someone.
I just see it all the time in social settings, online and in real life. You meet a bunch of people who all know each other and no one wants to include you, because they dont know you. I dont like how thats how things are.
I dont mean to insult or berate anyone, because I know that 99% of the users here are awesome...and I can see it by reading everyones posts. Its just.. I dont know.. maybe its just my warped paranoid brain going into overdrive.
I think there needs to be a thread on social cues, and how to improve with socializing..skill wise. Not the anxiety side of it, but actual methods on how to actually DO it.
PS. thanks for the responses. I was scared I was going to upset someone.
Agent_Violet
Well-known member
I think that is a great idea.
Honestly, I still feel left out a lot. I haven't been here that long and I don't really fit in with a lot of the younger crowd. I just butt in and talk about whatever a post makes me feel...wanted or unwanted...I'm here to get my frustrations,joys, and all other feelings out. I'm here to practice interacting with others on a deeper level than I normally do. I don't think you're warped or paranoid...I think you're probably feeling the way we all do when we don't feel like we are being heard.
KiaKaha
Banned
Social anxiety truly is horrible sometimes. I think not having the ability to socialize or to make friends is a massive handicap in life...it destroys the soul. I truly feel for people who cant even leave their own home. Anyway. Thank you all for hearing me. I appreciate it. I will take on board what you have all said and try to look at things in a different perspective. Take care yall till next time
At times I can seem like that. I have to admit that in the past I've felt once or twice like I was being ignored with certain things, but I don't think that's quite true.
The thing is, a lot of problems here are quite serious and require due amount of consideration and knowledge. And even though many people might have the due knowledge and consideration, it's very difficult to asses how to get that message across, because let's not forget that even the popular people on this site are socially phobic.
I too have people here to whom I speak a lot more freely then with new members. That's because I know what kind of advice they're after (detailed, it'll-be-okay or progressive/plan-based), what kind of jokes I can make around them, and how tolerant they are when they're in distress. Not having those luxuries can be quite intimidating.. It is, quite frankly, scary sometimes.
I'm not saying that's an excuse for constructively ignoring someone, of course. But I just mean that certain people just gravitate to each other that way. Not to mention that when you establish a friendship here (or read a previous post your liked) their username/avatar simply stands out to you way more. Meaning that the chance of your friend's post to be read nd replied to is a lot more likely.
With that said, I do think it wouldn't hurt to go out of limb once in a while. But of course, only when the user is duly socially capable (not too anxious) to do so.
Dead_on_Arrival
Well-known member
I agree with Blackpuma. There does sometimes appear to be social structuresand I too speak to some people more than others. I don't see myself as being in a seperate group because of this, it's just that these people exhibit a similar personality to mine.
I try to comment on many things that are posted here but quite often I find myself stuck for words when faced with the reply box. I can sit for a few minutes wanting to say something to help but end up not saying anything and the feeling bad about myself for leaving that person hanging. It's worse when it is a new thread and no-one has yet responded. If I look at what has been typed and leave it alone it eats away at me for a long while after.
