1BlackSheep
Well-known member
I have huge trust and self-esteem issues. I wish I wasn't this way because it f*#%* with every relationship I try to have. 
Personal issues stopping you from having a relationship other than SA or being shy
- Thread starter da_illest101
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coyote
Well-known member
i tried it with cars, but it can be just as painful
unless you let the exhaust pipe cool down first
A friend
Well-known member
What's stopping me from having a relationship is:
1. Fear of getting emotionally damaged beyond repair.
2. Fear of intense stress generated by that
3. Lack of transportation to social events, and I don't really want to do internet dating.
4. Fear of being hurt (physically and otherwise)
5. Intense insecurity
6. Sister and stepmom would try to get in the way
And, you get the idea now, right?
1. Fear of getting emotionally damaged beyond repair.
2. Fear of intense stress generated by that
3. Lack of transportation to social events, and I don't really want to do internet dating.
4. Fear of being hurt (physically and otherwise)
5. Intense insecurity
6. Sister and stepmom would try to get in the way
And, you get the idea now, right?
Lonelykitsune
Well-known member
Oh lots of things..
Lack of trust on my part. I'm not very interesting and quite boring, so any man just might get bored of me and go with someone else.
Meeting his family and friends, just more people to see how awkward I am. Introducing him to my parents ( I don't really know why I don't like the idea of that)
Lack of trust on my part. I'm not very interesting and quite boring, so any man just might get bored of me and go with someone else.
Meeting his family and friends, just more people to see how awkward I am. Introducing him to my parents ( I don't really know why I don't like the idea of that)
I used to be a porn addict a few yars ago, when I was in my teens. However, I got into Naturism, and a couple of years ago, I deleted any porn video or image off my computer, and I felt proud after doing that. I fighted to stay away from that stuff and I now avoid that.
The problem with me is my looks. most girls judge me at first look. Last night while in Sobey's. There was a girl at the pharamcy place, and I was was trying to think of what to say to her. I walked be a couple of times and she must've seen me look over at her, and she looked annoyed or something, which is the usual look girls give me, so I walked away. It's not like I stood there and gawked at her or anything. If I did, I could understand the look she would be giving me.
Also, the same night in the same store, I was walking to put an item back, and two girls walk by, one gave a look, not a good look. It is rare, I get ntoiced in a good way, and not seen like a parasite or something that shouldn't exist. I hardly looked at them and never looked directly at them. They wrren't that attractive anyway, which is good.
On a good note, the other night, while I was at Shopper Drug Mart in Halifax, a cashier who was cute, actually said more then hello and seemed friendly. I really like it, becuase it's so rare that you meet someone genuine, especially in the city. I live in Sackville, which is 20 minutes outside of the city but still in the limits of Halifax, it's in the Halifax county.
Most people besides my family members who accept me or usually friends of my sister, who they know about me, becuase she tells them about me. I rarely have problems with them judging me and stuff.
The girl who I used to talk to on Facebook dosen't talk to me anymore. She hasn't unfriended/blocked me yet. I don't know what happened.
1BlackSheep
Well-known member
I do that with guys too! It's not a good thing, at all. :
:
Labyrinthine
Well-known member
I truly believe I'm just not meant for a relationship.
Thus far, I only have one true experience to base this belief on, but it was awful. We both played off of manipulations and it was just an all around abusive relationship. We both were slightly dark to begin with (who doesn't have a dark side?), but being with him was virtually watching it come more and more to the surface. I'm terrified I will just be like this no matter who I am with. No one deserves that.
It seems like I can only attract very obsessive types. Been there, done that. I have no desire to try it again.
Thus far, I only have one true experience to base this belief on, but it was awful. We both played off of manipulations and it was just an all around abusive relationship. We both were slightly dark to begin with (who doesn't have a dark side?), but being with him was virtually watching it come more and more to the surface. I'm terrified I will just be like this no matter who I am with. No one deserves that.
It seems like I can only attract very obsessive types. Been there, done that. I have no desire to try it again.
da_illest101
Well-known member
I have another problem, girls who has a very social life, who has a lot of friends and expect me to meet them and be friends with them, I just can't
recluse
Well-known member
I'm exactly the same ''she probably will think i'm ugly and boring so i won't try''
The same goes with social interactions with anyone really.
theslowesthand
Banned
Feels like i written this before in some other thread, but nothing would have changed since then, so again...
- fear of intimacy
- fear of trying anything new/wierd
- too used to being alone
- scared to go outside of comfort zone
- fear of what the "demands" will be
- fear of it using up my precious saved money
- fear of a lot of the negative/testing feelings i'll experience
- fear of change
- fear of being controlled/manipulated
- scared that it will use up all my spare time & energy, thereby destroying all hope of ever achieving my (vague but definate) life aspirations
- fear of being exposed to various "bad" stuff/influences
- fear of getting depressed again
- fear that all the people contact (her & others) will f*-up my fragile sense of self-acceptance (ie deep seated self-esteem issues)
- fear of catching various diseases
- fear that having a partner will impinge on my "true life destiny" (i've always felt i was meant to stay single)
- fear that it will trigger some majorly deep, violent sh*t in me (which i'd prefer to keep repressed tbh)
- i don't really trust people in general
- i have this stubborn belief that refuses to accept that i may have real human needs for social and intimacy
- i am very very sceptical/critical of this thing called "relationship"; i hate the idea of it, hate almost everything it stands for, and certainly don't trust that it would be a "good" thing for me; i just don't buy it; i think i can see thru the "illusion" that it has; i actually view it as a quite unhealthy thing, that it's unnatural, excessive, and NOT what human souls for put here for (dont ask me to ellaborate, is just a feeling)
- lack of access to any transport, private or public
- scared of sexuality, feeling attractive/d, lust, etc (these feelings really "muck" with my head, and i just can't handle them adequately)
- fear of rejection (so i NEVER try to flirt/connect/etc)
- fear of "little" things triggering my anger/rage (my Mr Hyde); such as being rejected, ignored, mistreated, disrespected, etc
- i need a lot of personal space
- i am 100% COMPLETELY inexperienced, sexually/romantically and in life in general (which possibly might weird most women out)
- i would be unable to "mesh" with a woman who has a very social life, with lot of friends/acquantances, who would expect me to meet them and be friends with them
- my house is a complete mess, so she would not want to spend ONE MINUTE in there!
- i am used to not bothering about grooming, personal hygene, dressing well, looking good; and i have some bad habits; it's what i feel comfortable with; not insurmountable but yet another hurdle to overcome
- i'm so used to having a p*ss-poor self-esteem, often viewing self as ugly and boring, that i won't even entertain the possiblity that others don't also view me as such
- i have an obsessional personality ... you may have guessed that by here
- (and probably a few more i cant think of right now!)
- fear of intimacy
- fear of trying anything new/wierd
- too used to being alone
- scared to go outside of comfort zone
- fear of what the "demands" will be
- fear of it using up my precious saved money
- fear of a lot of the negative/testing feelings i'll experience
- fear of change
- fear of being controlled/manipulated
- scared that it will use up all my spare time & energy, thereby destroying all hope of ever achieving my (vague but definate) life aspirations
- fear of being exposed to various "bad" stuff/influences
- fear of getting depressed again
- fear that all the people contact (her & others) will f*-up my fragile sense of self-acceptance (ie deep seated self-esteem issues)
- fear of catching various diseases
- fear that having a partner will impinge on my "true life destiny" (i've always felt i was meant to stay single)
- fear that it will trigger some majorly deep, violent sh*t in me (which i'd prefer to keep repressed tbh)
- i don't really trust people in general
- i have this stubborn belief that refuses to accept that i may have real human needs for social and intimacy
- i am very very sceptical/critical of this thing called "relationship"; i hate the idea of it, hate almost everything it stands for, and certainly don't trust that it would be a "good" thing for me; i just don't buy it; i think i can see thru the "illusion" that it has; i actually view it as a quite unhealthy thing, that it's unnatural, excessive, and NOT what human souls for put here for (dont ask me to ellaborate, is just a feeling)
- lack of access to any transport, private or public
- scared of sexuality, feeling attractive/d, lust, etc (these feelings really "muck" with my head, and i just can't handle them adequately)
- fear of rejection (so i NEVER try to flirt/connect/etc)
- fear of "little" things triggering my anger/rage (my Mr Hyde); such as being rejected, ignored, mistreated, disrespected, etc
- i need a lot of personal space
- i am 100% COMPLETELY inexperienced, sexually/romantically and in life in general (which possibly might weird most women out)
- i would be unable to "mesh" with a woman who has a very social life, with lot of friends/acquantances, who would expect me to meet them and be friends with them
- my house is a complete mess, so she would not want to spend ONE MINUTE in there!
- i am used to not bothering about grooming, personal hygene, dressing well, looking good; and i have some bad habits; it's what i feel comfortable with; not insurmountable but yet another hurdle to overcome
- i'm so used to having a p*ss-poor self-esteem, often viewing self as ugly and boring, that i won't even entertain the possiblity that others don't also view me as such
- i have an obsessional personality ... you may have guessed that by here
- (and probably a few more i cant think of right now!)
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MissPsychNerd
Active member
I think I'm ugly, dull and boring to be with and I won't be good enough for him for some reason but at the same time I'm really picky, not just with romantic relationships but also with friendships :: I guess I have pretty low self-esteem, which I think is related to SA? SA is my biggest problem when it comes to relationships though. Guys have displayed overtures before, I think, but I just didn't do anything. One time, it was actually a guy I kind of like. Basically, if I like someone I'll avoid them and vice-versa lol... I'll probably never be in a relationship until I get over my SA really. Perfect.
: I guess I have pretty low self-esteem, which I think is related to SA? SA is my biggest problem when it comes to relationships though. Guys have displayed overtures before, I think, but I just didn't do anything. One time, it was actually a guy I kind of like. Basically, if I like someone I'll avoid them and vice-versa lol... I'll probably never be in a relationship until I get over my SA really. Perfect. 
CillaHasBrainActivity
Well-known member
I'm scared of starting a relationship because it might last.
I want to dabble for settling down.
I want to dabble for settling down.
Gaucho
Well-known member
exactly. i just can't imagine how a woman would pass days after days with me being proud and enjoying it.
-> Porn addiction. I've been working on this the past few days and have decided to quit cold turkey. It's messing with my motivation and mental clarity in general, as well as my expectations for intimacy so all of that needs to be wiped off of the map. I want to start over in that regard.
-> Interests that most people wouldn't care about (Numerology, ambient/tribal music, spirituality/philosophy, etc)
-> Fear of rejection (She wont' even be interested in me, etc)
-> I have speaking impediments and I fear that'll paint a nasty impression of me.
-> Very inexperienced intimately, but as I said above I think this has to do with my porn addiction so I have decided to start there and hopefully I will begin to improve.
-> Unable to connect to others on a more primal level. Makes me wonder if I'm on a high level or if I'm just denying myself the happiness I deserve. I think it's a little bit of both.
-> Lingering self hatred.
-> Interests that most people wouldn't care about (Numerology, ambient/tribal music, spirituality/philosophy, etc)
-> Fear of rejection (She wont' even be interested in me, etc)
-> I have speaking impediments and I fear that'll paint a nasty impression of me.
-> Very inexperienced intimately, but as I said above I think this has to do with my porn addiction so I have decided to start there and hopefully I will begin to improve.
-> Unable to connect to others on a more primal level. Makes me wonder if I'm on a high level or if I'm just denying myself the happiness I deserve. I think it's a little bit of both.
-> Lingering self hatred.
Reaching-Zen
Well-known member
Other than being shy and a blusher...
Working alot then having the kids on weekends. Since separating nearly 2 years ago I just work and look after my kids. I don't like internet dating as I've only heard whacky stories. Its just so hard to meet the right woman because I'm never around them other than the shops with the kids.
I see chunky women in their 30's n 40's and say to myself wow, but am too shy to talk to them. My life routine together with shyness will keep me single for a long time.
Working alot then having the kids on weekends. Since separating nearly 2 years ago I just work and look after my kids. I don't like internet dating as I've only heard whacky stories. Its just so hard to meet the right woman because I'm never around them other than the shops with the kids.
I see chunky women in their 30's n 40's and say to myself wow, but am too shy to talk to them. My life routine together with shyness will keep me single for a long time.