People who drink/smoke

dannyboy65

Well-known member
#21
^ yeah I know what you mean...When I was a teenager (and up until I was about 20) I used to mess around with drugs/alcohol and being so young I really didnt know how to handle myself at all..I made such a fool of myself...I met some really shady people at that time in my life...drug dealers are the absolute worst, I swear ......anyway, I'm so glad I left all of that behind me...I had to remove so many people from my life but it was for the best....but in general, people who are ALWAYS smoking, drinking, or getting loaded in one way or another REALLY can't be trusted...they really aren't good people to be around...i find a lot of them to be quite selfish and inconsiderate.

I think some people go into it thinking that its somehow a cool thing to do...but then it really comes back to bite them in the ***.
See when I did it, I was doing it because of bullying at my school I guess. Now that I cleaned myself up and kicked every bad person out of my life, I feel absolutely amazing. For once I have a life and a pretty damn good life it's a great change.
 
#24
You "hate" people because they choose to live their lives different from yours. Man you need to grow up and learn to respect peoples rights on how they choose to live their lives.
Telling someone they should grow up because they have are expressing their opinion is, in my books a little hypocritical.

As for 'respecting peoples rights on how they choose to live their lives'... well that's all good. But try telling that to a smoker. They light up next to kids... while people are eating... parents light up in cars with children inside... and even just lighting up near other people when they don't know if those people are smokers or not. How about respecting the rights of people who don't smoke?

What most smokers fail to realize, is smoking is a group activity. If one person lights up, everyone else around them has no choice but to breath in that persons smoke.

I don't want to breath in someone else's disgusting habit. It makes your clothes stink, is bad for your health and the act of smoking itself looks ridiculous.

I wonder how a smoker would like it if I took up chewing tobacco, walked past them and spat the tar all over their shoes.. Hey, it's my right to chew tobacco and spit.. don't complain, you can always wash your shoes..
 
#25
Telling someone they should grow up because they have are expressing their opinion is, in my books a little hypocritical.

As for 'respecting peoples rights on how they choose to live their lives'... well that's all good. But try telling that to a smoker. They light up next to kids... while people are eating... parents light up in cars with children inside... and even just lighting up near other people when they don't know if those people are smokers or not. How about respecting the rights of people who don't smoke?

What most smokers fail to realize, is smoking is a group activity. If one person lights up, everyone else around them has no choice but to breath in that persons smoke.

I don't want to breath in someone else's disgusting habit. It makes your clothes stink, is bad for your health and the act of smoking itself looks ridiculous.

I wonder how a smoker would like it if I took up chewing tobacco, walked past them and spat the tar all over their shoes.. Hey, it's my right to chew tobacco and spit.. don't complain, you can always wash your shoes..
Yes!! :thumbup:
 
#26
Even though I don't smoke or drink at all, I have never given this any serious thought until reading everybody's responses. I guess I don't particularly mind if someone smokes/drinks or not. Smoking doesn't bother me at all as I grew up in a family that mostly smokes, even though I have asthma. I don't mind people who drink alcohol, but I tend to find I avoid being around them while they drink or are drunk. I get really anxious when dealing with drunk people, like at my old job where I was managing a till on the beach.

In the end I guess it's their life, they do with it what they want... Also I think I have my own problems, so to judge someone on their would be a bit hypocritical if I wanted to be accepted with mine.
 
#27
Telling someone they should grow up because they have are expressing their opinion is, in my books a little hypocritical.

As for 'respecting peoples rights on how they choose to live their lives'... well that's all good. But try telling that to a smoker. They light up next to kids... while people are eating... parents light up in cars with children inside... and even just lighting up near other people when they don't know if those people are smokers or not. How about respecting the rights of people who don't smoke?
He didn't get told to grow up for expression an opinion, he got told to grow up because the opinion is petty and frankly childish, at least in the way it was expressed. I remember acting that way and passing snap judgements like that when I was maybe 8 or 10 years old. Now if someone's bothering me I'll let them know what it is instead of acting like a brat. Not that cigarettes in particular pose that much of a problem to me anyway. Where I live, smoking indoors has been banned for a long time. You're not allowed to smoke outdoors within 30 feet of a building entrance either. Even smoking in bars/restaurants is banned now.

The only time I've inhaled any cigarette smoke against my will is if I'm riding in a smoker's car or go to their house or something. People are getting all uppity about it because the social phobia prevents them from saying something like "Can you wait until I'm out of the car before you smoke?" It's easier to get mad at the smoker than to look at improving your own communication skills - but it's not the mature way to handle the situation. If you really think it's some big irreconcilable issue then just don't associate with smokers. You'll just be missing out on that opportunity to grow as a person, and whatever benefits you might have got from associating with them.

I also notice you make a lot of generalizations along the lines of "Smokers do X," "Smokers do Y"... and there's no denying that some people make poor decisions like putting their kids in a smoking environment. (There's way worse things people do, but that's another story...) There are just as many smokers who don't do it inside with their kids. There's smokers who don't even have kids, and won't smoke inside just because they don't want to damage the property. There's smokers who stop smoking completely when they find out they are going to have a baby. The hatred here isn't justly directed to smokers as a group. It's easier to hate on a group basis, examples of that abound in history - but the real issue is certain individuals making poor decisions for their children.
 

FriendlyShadow

Well-known member
#28
To everyone who responded to this thread, I apologize if I made any offensive statements the way I expressed myself in my post and will try to discuss this without making any confrontations. The thread that I had typed, I didn't mean to have said that I don't respect the way people to choose to live their lives or that I flat out just hate drinker/smokers in general. I may have said about that I hate the college thing that I just see people who drink alcohol there, I don't think it's acceptable for colleges and schools,IMO, to allow that behavior in my eyes. I see nowadays many teens are exposed to drinking and smoking, probably because media influences them since other people on Tv/Movies have told them it's the cool thing to do, they just want to have fun, or they feel rebellious. I can't understand why colleges/schools don't even have rules to follow about not drinking/smoking or that just maybe a lot of those teens ignore it and go ahead and drink and smoke anyway secretly.

What I was trying to say is that I mainly would not become a person that's dependency is mainly on smoking and drinking, no matter how many times people will come up to me, like some have and say "Come on have a sip," "Just try a little beer," "You'll change your mind" That I don't like when people cannot take no for an answer. Now, am I going to change the behavior of them for smoking and drinking? Of course not. I can now understand that maybe I do have to accept disagreements from other who don't agree with me on the threads I make. But I'm not starting any angered confrontation. I'm speaking in a calm manner about the subject. I know I can't change these smokers/drinkers, would never try and change someone in the first place saying things to them like "Hey, you're wrong for drinking and smoking." "You are never allowed to drink and smoke." No, and I do understand that a lot people in the world do choose to live this kind of life, maybe if I were ever around them, I might influence them about their habits if it becomes to gets out of control, doing harmful things to themeselves, showing them the symptoms and changes what a person looks like when they let smoking/drinking control their lives. But they cannot expect me to cave into drinking/alcohol. I do want to stay healthy and been promising myself for years I'd never touch a cigarette or alcohol in my life.

But in all honesty, I don't think I should've said that I'm never going to see people when I'm out in the real world whether that be job, camp, or any social event when I come across those who smoke/drink. I just don't really think I could spend my time, like Opaline said, too much time devoting myself with people who make this habit become a part of their daily lives drinking or smoking. It's just the way that I wouldn't want to be around other types of people, which I have been with, that are stubborn, bossy, rebellious, troublemakers, or just other types of people that I don't enjoy being around with. I have been with a lot of people that fallen into those categories and I could not maintain a stable relationship anymore with them because of that. Someone always had to take advantage of me or were very rude, know it all types that I've attached myself to them like a parasite. I've known plenty of people close to me that drank and smoke that those things contributed into making them behave worse or to the point that they'd become depressed then they already were. I've seen it happen What was worst of it all, was they refused to want others help to break away from this vicious cycle. Though, if you guys want to be around social drinkers or people who do smoke, hey, I'm all fine with that. You can disagree with me, but all I'm saying is that these types of people, for me, I think I would be in a more depressing state and I think it would be worse for me to deal with if I ever did surround myself around these types of people. I really don't know how to handle being in a situation where I'm stuck in the middle of smokers and drinkers, if they are my friends. I just get a little uncomfortable, anxious, inside, but I wouldn't say anything to them rudely. It's just something that I'm not sure if I can deal with being around close people like this. That's just the way I don't want to spend my time everyday on people who smoke/drink, or even making me go to a club/bar for a regular social event meeting so that we could have a beer. And if it ever leads to anything more serious/lethal that these people who I'd surround myself in who have smoke/drink are going to be draining me all the time, if they break things against the walls/floors, become abusive, dying of serious health problems, and even go as far as convincing me to go to a bar/club or have a drink of beer, then I might have to decide that what I'm doing here isn't good at all.

Sometimes, people need the help I can't give them or to save them every time they take their depression out on me or plead for my help because I've had a few people on this site (not going to mention usernames) that have constantly dragged me down again and again and again everyday because they had emotional issues and were smokers/drinkers. They wanted my help because they couldn't get the professional help they needed anywhere else. Like I said, now if it's just an aquaintance that I had met at work or anywhere else, and the smoked and drank a lot, then I wouldn't spend a whole lot of time with them to tell you the truth, not everyday. Well, I wouldn't cross the line of having a friendship with that person. It's sad to watch them trying to quit even, because the addiction of the alcohol and smoking is so strong, it makes it almost impossible for them. But I wouldn't change them/lifestyles. So, that's all I had to say. You guys can agree/disagree, I respect opinions, but rude and hostile comments will get you blocked.
 
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Megaten

Well-known member
#29
Why did you ask if you had already made up your mind? One thing I've learned is that folks rarely like having their vices pointed out. Hence some of the hostility. But like I said you do what you want, theres lots of non smokers/drinkers to befriend and the world will go on...as long as you dont ask for opinions :p


P.S Also I should point out that people also change their habits as they grow older and priorities change. I still drink, but not nearly as much as I did when I was 21. What was once excessive is now like one beer a week or something. So the number of people you can socialize with might fluctuate as you get older.
 
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FriendlyShadow

Well-known member
#30
I guess I only wanted to start this thread to ask others opinions if they'd want to be around smokers/drinkers or if they could spend their time on them. Not that I'm going to have anything against them, I just wanted to say that I don't think I could honestly deal with having a relationship with others that do live like a lifestyle like that. But I don't want to start a thread just for confrontation from others that their opinion is wrong if they like that either. I just wanted to put my input that IMO, I don't want to be around smokers/drinkers like I said.
 
#31
....um I might be a good idea for everyone to maybe take a step back and not fight over it. we all have our own opinions and they are not going to be the same as the next persons....

... also just a thought, but there's probably someone out there asking if it's okay to avoid people with depression or SAD because they are not comfortable with it...

in the end I think if you cannot cope or are uncomfortable with it, it's okay to avoid it without being nasty to others...
 
#33
Smokin

I would never pass off the opportunity to get to know or befriend someone just because they drank or smoked. I never smoke, but I will drink sometimes. I never really understood the benefit to smoking and I think it’s kind of gross. It would be kind of ridiculous for me to not be friends with someone just because they smoked. That’s their own personal thing, so it’s not really my place to tell a friend what they should or should not be putting in their body. Of course I’d be irritated if someone lit a cigarette in my house, or car, or whatever, but I wouldn’t really care if it’s outside or in an open place. I don’t know anyone who would do that personally anyways.
 

Zaki

Well-known member
#34
I've never smoked a cigarette or cigar and it's not something I would ever have an interest in doing. I think it's a pretty nasty habit tbh (no offense to anyone who smokes, just my personal opinion). It's not like I find people who smoke disgusting or anything. It's the habit that I find unappealing. I've been friends with a few people who smoke. They were considerate in the way they went about it, so it wasn't a big deal. In regard to drinking, I enjoy alcoholic beverages every now and then. You could say I used to have a bit of a problem. Now I rarely drink, and I only do it in the company of others who are also drinking. As long as a person can exercise self-control, I don't really have a problem with it.
 
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#35
He didn't get told to grow up for expression an opinion, he got told to grow up because the opinion is petty and frankly childish, at least in the way it was expressed. I remember acting that way and passing snap judgements like that when I was maybe 8 or 10 years old

Wow.. you talk about being mature and how people should act, yet you call someone childish and petty for expressing their opinion.

You also compare her opinions to a child who makes snap judgement's and assume hers where also made in 'snap judgement'.

Lol.
No one is saying smokers shouldn't smoke.
Smokers seem to get quite upset whenever others say they don't want to breath in their smoke or have their clothes and hair stink like their smoke.

Go figure eh?
 

chibiXphantom

Well-known member
#36
i dont care too much about people drinking around me. i personally have no interest in alcohol and don't drink (never have even tasted alcohol), but it's a hard thing to avoid in social situations. people enjoy drinking, whether it be with meals, as a social thing, or whatever. it doesnt effect me in any way. now if they're being stupid and getting drunk, obnoxious, and out of control, then i'll leave. but i've never actually been in that situation. i really dont mind if people drink.

people who smoke, on the other hand, i avoid as much as possible. it smells, burns my eyes, nose, and throat being around it, makes me smell bad too. a lot of people i've been around who smoke tend to not be very courteous with their smoking and seem to forget that their smoking affects other people. it's not fun hanging out with people who smoke who all have to get up and go outside to smoke and you're just left there. so i don't want friends who smoke, and will never date a smoker.

i dont see why it's a problem that people would want to be particular about the qualities and habits their friends/partners might have. it's also not wrong to not want to be friends with someone/date someone for any reason at all.
 

FriendlyShadow

Well-known member
#37
"I've seen the devastating effects that drinking and smoking does to your body and mind so I don't want to follow their footsteps."

Same thing can be said about overeating. You don't avoid fat people do you? Ok Im just messing with you. Anyways yeah my best friend smokes and drinks and its not a big deal to me. Though I dont hang around him when he's smoking. I would say loosen up too...but everyone has their preferences, so do what you want. There's more than enough drinkers and smokers in the world to keep them company.
"I've seen the devastating effects that drinking and smoking does to your body and mind so I don't want to follow their footsteps."

Same thing can be said about overeating. You don't avoid fat people do you? Ok Im just messing with you. Anyways yeah my best friend smokes and drinks and its not a big deal to me. Though I dont hang around him when he's smoking. I would say loosen up too...but everyone has their preferences, so do what you want. There's more than enough drinkers and smokers in the world to keep them company.
You "hate" people because they choose to live their lives different from yours. Man you need to grow up and learn to respect peoples rights on how they choose to live their lives.
You are obviously a toxic narcissistic prick. Where did you get the idea that I "hate" smokers? Or do you like putting words into people's mouths. You disgust me.
 
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