Open to all comments/ thoughts and what not.

#1
So I wanted to kind of tell people about a revelation or whatever you want to call it that I had. Well the last few years probably 3 to 4 years have really been the worst years of my life. A lot of dumb decisions were made on my part and in turn a lot of dumb decisions were made on other people's part due to my bad choices. Now that in itself is not a revelation or a breath taking, jaw dropping, better sit down for this kind of thing but I got to a point that I was so depressed that if anything negative or anything that I should be worried or concerned with came to me is simply have to shrug it off and not care. Not that I didn't want to care I mean I even knew I should really be caring about this or that but I had literally ran out of room in my brain to care about anything else.
It was a very interesting time period looking back at it. The thing is its not really that far behind me in fact some days a lot of the past pains come back and I find myself crying once again. Now I don't mean like a few tears or something I'm talking about re kind of crying where all you can think about is how your heart literally hurts and is broken from grief.
Now people who have known real pain and heart ache in their life have one of two real choices after that heartache is experienced. One you can hold onto it let it change you from the inside out. Let it give you a false sense of reality because of the pain you constantly hold onto. Its sort of like looking at the world trough a pair of sunglasses...the world isn't necessarily any different but your now seeing it differently. Or you can decide to forgive the past pains and hurts that have come your way. You can choose to let God (higher power) take that from you.
Now I've learned from personal experience that that concept is much easier to theoretically understand and agree with but its much more difficult to live and practice. I've found that there are a few reasons why we have such a hard time with the forgiveness aspect of life.
1) we think that because we forgive someone that we automatically have to trust them again or put ourselves in the position to be hurt, taken advantage of or mistreated again. No that's not true if someone steals from you its ok to forgive them, it doesn't mean you let them back into your house.
2) we've gotten this idea that we need the other persons permission to forgive them. Its like for some reason we just can't forgive unless they come to us and say "will you forgive me". I try and remember that I don't need their permission to forgive them.
3) this is a big one...we don't have a lot of good examples of forgiveness in our world. My example for everything well I try to make him my example for everything is Jesus. I mean while he was dying on the cross he said "father forgive them for they know not what they do." Now I know what your thinking your saying yeah but I'm not Jesus....I know that believe I'm well aware of that fact but the same grace to forgive that Jesus had God can give to us too.
In conclusion to this long tirade I want to stress the point that we do ourselves a favor when we forgive others. In fact its impossible to live up to your full potential in life if your harboring hurts and resentments of the past. It is impossible to be a victim and a winner at the same time. Harboring hurts and resentments leads to outwardly displaying anger, and its not a secret either people who are holding onto hurts of the past don't see how they are so overreactive to certain things. Or see how everyone has to tip toe around them when there's just a little something said. See its not your little secret when your hurt and angry its so obvious to others.
We also should remember that whatever amount of grace and forgiveness we show and extend to others is the amount that is going to be shown and given to us. We do ourselves a favor when we forgive others.
I don't know feel free to leave a comment wether your disagree agree or want to add your own thoughts and input.
 
#4
I read it, but I didn't want to spark a religious bash-fest so I didn't comment.

That was maybe not the right way to go, so I apologize. But that's why I "liked" your invisible post, to at least show some kind of support.

I agree that Jesus is an ideal role model, I think we constantly have to be on-guard about letting our little bruised egos get in the way of our faith and thus our capacity to forgive.

Holding grudges is a horrific waste of time and takes a toll on us mentally and physically.

As you say, it's hard to be a winner and a victim concurrently.
 
#5
I liked Nathaniel's post because this is exactly the reaction I had when I clicked on your thread haha... But seeing that you felt invisible, I took the time to read it all and it was actually worth the reading. But know that there is probably other people who have read your post but did not comment because you actually sound like you managed to pull yourself together and don't really need any advice. Anyway, I absolutely agree with you, we have to forgive and let go. As FountainandFairfax said, anger is a gigantic waste of energy and god knows our energy is precious when we need to get our sh*t together. I've never felt that I needed anyone's permission to forgive them. And I always felt that it was even more important to forgive myself, because I've always felt guilty for letting myself become such a worthless piece of garbage (I don't think that about myself anymore of course). It's great that you found a model that helps you to forgive and heal yourself and let go of the past. I personnally don't have a model, I like to use memories, if that makes sense: I think the best way to let go of the bad memories of the past is to collect and gather as many good memories as possible until there is such a huge pile of good memories burying the bad ones that you can barely notice them. :)
 
#6
Omg I apologize lol I totally was being sarcastic and mostly joking to myself with the invisible comment. Inc sorry I honestly didnt think anyone would read this so I just made a joking comment. I apologize I should have kept in mind that its a public post and that someone or several people may read that and take it for something its not. Thank you though for the comments I just apologize if it sounded like I was being serious I was being a smart *** and made a joke. Ill be sure to be a little more careful in the future.
 

F0AM

Well-known member
#7
Don't worry Phantom i'm also to blame. I read your post when you sumitted it and i didnt answer cause sometimes i think my opinion is not very interesting, without realizing how not doing so may make others feel being ignored.
 
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#8
Omg I apologize lol I totally was being sarcastic and mostly joking to myself with the invisible comment. Inc sorry I honestly didnt think anyone would read this so I just made a joking comment. I apologize I should have kept in mind that its a public post and that someone or several people may read that and take it for something its not. Thank you though for the comments I just apologize if it sounded like I was being serious I was being a smart *** and made a joke. Ill be sure to be a little more careful in the future.
Really no need to apologize :)
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
#9
going easy on yourself and others. tyo remain positive to people who may not behaved the same way to you. I made the point of saying hello to and being amicable. to thhopse who have been angry. I could dwell on the anger and not let it go but that makes me unwell.
 

lily

Well-known member
#10
yes forgiveness is the way. yes you can forgive others without them saying sorry to you, yes jesus said 'forgive them for they know not what they do'. He forgave even when others were doing bad to him without them saying they were sorry. We are then to follow that example. God will deal with the rest. He is the vine, the source and we are the branches.. as was taught. He said 'Come all you who are weary and heavy-laden and i will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.' He wants to take care of us.
 
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