one comment which has affected your confidence

Because usually when I want to offend someone I buy them a birthday card?

To the part I put in bold...Take it at face value. If it was a joke, that person meant nothing by it.

It would be one thing if he wrote that in the card, but...IMO, it's a generic birthday card. A million other people got the same one. 999,996 probably laughed at it.

The card was given to me out of spite. Are you aware you can buy offensive cards out there? If not, you can check for yourself. When someone gives you a card which blatantly says you are insuperior than the sender with no real fun attached, I doubt 999,996 people who find it too funny. This isn't a case of someone taking the piss. This is a case of someone attempting to stick the boot in. You have no idea of what circumstances had risen for my brother to act in such an unfavourable fashion. Oh, and one more thing: I don't hunt for trivial things to feel self-pity (even though I admittedly feel it these days). Have you thought about perhaps I'm simply only making an addition to a thread?
 

twiggle

Well-known member
Because usually when I want to offend someone I buy them a birthday card?

To the part I put in bold...Take it at face value. If it was a joke, that person meant nothing by it.

It would be one thing if he wrote that in the card, but...IMO, it's a generic birthday card. A million other people got the same one. 999,996 probably laughed at it.

Whilst I do agree with you that there may be some people out there who feel sorry for themselves a bit too much and don't do anything assertive about it, I don't think Alphasocket is one of those people (from the posts I've read of his). I think sometimes 'humorous' (I never know how to spell that word ::p:) cards can be quite offensive. It was his brother buying the card - I've heard of brotherly banter, but if you know your brother is clinically depressed you don't buy a card like that.

Fact is, some people are warped enough that they would manipulate what should normally be pleasant things (a birthday card, a gift) into something that has the secondary purpose of causing offense.

When I was in year 10, we did a 'Secret Santa' in our class around Christmas time. In case anyone has not heard of that before, its when you put names in a hat and take it in turns to pull a name out, and you have to buy a present for that person. One of my friends received a fake dog poo from her Secret Santa. Such an object is, on its own, a joke right? But when given as a gift, it has a whole new context. I.e why choose that present out of all the possible presents out there? In the same sense - why pick that card when there a billion other alternative ones that aren't offensive?

I just think you generally have to be very careful when joking with others and only do so if you know the other person won't be offended. Personally I think the more laughs we can have in life the better, and most of my close friendships revolve around constant ribbing and joking with each other, my awful dress sense and tendency to ask stupid questions etc, and sometimes I've applied this same attitude to people I know less well in the form of well-meaning jokes that have not been accepted as such, and I've felt terribly guilty afterwards even though I meant no real offense.

I just feel that people should think more about the person they're joking about and gage whether or not they'll see the joke for what it is before going ahead and executing it.
 

Rembrandt Broam

Well-known member
Fact is, some people are warped enough that they would manipulate what should normally be pleasant things (a birthday card, a gift) into something that has the secondary purpose of causing offense.

Agreed. Hiding an insult behind 'humour' is also a way some people choose to attack others, because they know that if the person reacts badly they can simply play the "Hey, I was just kidding!" card and make it look like the problem is with the person being attacked for not having a sense of humour. :mad:
 

Tuukka40

Well-known member
I doubt 999,996 people who find it too funny.

x number of cards sold minus people from this forum who received the card equals how many people found the card funny.

MAYBE I jumped to conclusions. If he has a decent relationship with his brother, then I don't see anything wrong with the card.
If his brother truly detests him and that was given to make him feel bad, then it is a little messed up.

If I got a card like that from one of my older siblings or a friend I would find it funny. But we joke around like that.

Take it easy. Learn to laugh at yourself. What can anyone make fun of you for if you learn to love yourself and improve yourself?

I feel like everyone here could have a more positive outlook as opposed to getting together so we can all drown in our woes..
 

Lostinthemusic

Well-known member
I don't remember the actual comment, but in grade school my best friend at the time made fun of me for liking a girl. It had something to do with trying to play four square I think.

I think it still affects what I allow others to see of me.
 

SeasonalBlues

Well-known member
A couple of years back a friend of a friend, who i had never met before just started laughing and making fun of the way i looked with another one of his friends infront of a group of girls.

Then a week or two after that incident i was walking over to see my group of friends and he was there and said 'here comes (insult)' and all my friends started laughing thinking i didn't hear it so i just had to join them and pretend like it never happened.


Really hurt and still does now ::(:
 
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jojo77

Well-known member
i have a lot of those, but i think one of the earliest was one day i was in the 4th or 5th grade, and this girl invited me to her house to stay the night. she was friends with some popular boys. the door bell rang and she got up and answered the door, i waited a few seconds then got up to see who was at the door. she saw me, and kinda waved me away, and shut the door a little...but it was too late. those two popular boys were at the door, and they saw me an immediately began laughing...loudly...

and she was super embarrassed that she was caught hanging out with me :(
 

Foxie913

Well-known member
I've posted on this thread about a hurtful incident but here is another that has stuck in my brain and still affects me to this day:

Years ago I went to the local fair with my sister and two of her friends so there was four of us. At the fair we were walking past a game stall and the guy that ran it looked at us and said "Hello you three good looking girls", there was four of us but he said three of us were good looking. I knew that I wasn't classed as one of the good looking because sister and her friends WERE better looking than me. To have a stranger refer to me as unattractive felt like a stab in the heart and I felt like crying on the spot.


It's the attitude towards me from guys that has made me feel tense and uncomfortable around them now. Most of them are shallow pigs :mad:
 
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EscapeArtist

Well-known member
A lot of nice people say nice things on here. I would have to say that this site has been the biggest confidence boost, never have I "met" such nice people. Sometimes they can even persuade me that I'm not that bad. Thanks SPWorld
 

Rembrandt Broam

Well-known member
I've posted on this thread about a hurtful incident but here is another that has stuck in my brain and still affects me to this day:

Years ago I went to the local fair with my sister and two of her friends so there was four of us. At the fair we were walking past a game stall and the guy that ran it looked at us and said "Hello you three good looking girls", there was four of us but he said three of us were good looking. I knew that I wasn't classed as one of the good looking because sister and her friends WERE better looking than me. To have a stranger refer to me as unattractive felt like a stab in the heart and I felt like crying on the spot.

:mad:

I just cannot understand why someone would say something like that. Even if he was thinking it (which is bad enough, since I'm sure it wasn't true), why actually come out and say something as hurtful as that? What could he possibly get out of making a comment like that?
 
erm,well my senior at my workplace made fun of my SA... i didnt tell people i have SA, they can just tell, because its visually outstanding. Another work colleague told me he heard him making fun of me, saying i walk stiff... and i make weird face expression. My confidences dropped so much, as i thought he was a kind person, i was so wrong.
 

Steppen-Wolf

Well-known member
A few months ago the best friend that I've ever had told me she no longer had any interest whatsoever in me.

Now, I've told things far more offensive in far worse ways, but comming from her that comment basically destroyed much of my self esteem.

In the end it was actually for the best, as such a crushing blow lead me to try and make something more of myself, but in that moment I felt like the most insignificant person in the world.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Just thought of another one tonight... Not so much a comment as it was just something really rude.

Back in 8th grade, we had just gotten a new principle, so he spent most of his time walking around the school just checking things out and getting to know people more. Well, I was walking down the hall and he's walking the opposite direction towards me. Because it's awkward to me whenever you walk past someone in the hall by yourself, I bent my head down. Well then he stops in front of me and asks, "Why such the long face?" I was taken by surprise that he even talked to me so I just stood there looking up at him trying to say something but the words wouldn't come out. It was like my voice was paralyzed or something. :S He gives me a weird look, shakes his head, and then walks away. Still sometimes bothers me a bit to think about...
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
So today while waiting for my bus, I was sitting in the classroom with my tank on since it was really warm today. Well, one girl from my class walks in, sees me and comes towards me, then says "What are you wearing? Ew, you're so pale." >.> Yeah, my mental note for the day? No tank tops for me unless it's underneath a zip-up hoodie.
 

dean01

Well-known member
my dad once asked if i didnt work because i was waiting for him to die, so i could inherit his money.
 
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