Och aye the noo
- Thread starter Graeme1988
- Start date
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Hud a story ah wus wantin' tell which kinda related to one of the shows / comedian I'm going to see in Edinburgh tomorrow. And also, indirectly, related to what ma hospital stay experience wus like when ah went in fur ma surgery at the start o' year, but it'll huv tae whit til ma first set o' weekend shows at the Fringe are oot the way... Sorry!
So many stories, not enough time...
:bigsmile:
So many stories, not enough time...
:bigsmile:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Same here.... Though, not to the extent that my mum has, where ye ignore yer problems and pretend everything's fine when it not.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Hullo!! Ye awrite, aye? Nae idea why I'm writing this like a f**kin' journal entry, but just gan with it. Get yersel' summit tae drink n' settle in, ye might enjoy this wee story. If no, then...
So, that's me back from the first day of the 2016 Edinburgh Fringe. And by jings, what a day's it has been. Still cannae quite believe how the day went fae being pure shite tae... Best day ever!! Aw within the space o' a few hours.
Firstly, ah wake up to sound arguing - my older sister (the middle child) and brother-in-law as per usual. Not the best start to the day. But I'm f**kin' so hyped and excited, cause aw those months o' tickets bookings n' money spent has come to this... Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2016, opening day.
So, me n' ma eldest sister sibling head off to Edinburgh, it's sunny on the way there. Me not being great small talk, keep the chat to a minimum. But not the extent we drive up there no sayin' yin word to each other.
Then, just as were aboot to hit the busier part o' Edinburgh, ah gan...
^ Sorry anybuddy's offended by that, well kinda.
Then as we finally get parked after driving aroon fur whit seemed ages. Ma sister swearing away at hersel' for her error and ar how long it took to get parked. While she's doing, this great, comically apt one-liner comes to me that ah couldnae keep tae masel', since it' just ruin the 2 other comedy shows we'd actually get to see...
By this time it wus just after 3 o'clock in the afternoon. We definitely missed Scott Gibson's stand-up show now. Even if he wus'nae bothered about late comers and we got into the gig. We'd be walkin' in at a point that would probably stop his show briefly. And there's nowt worse than folk showing up when a comedian is on stage in the middle o' joke or story.
So, that's me back from the first day of the 2016 Edinburgh Fringe. And by jings, what a day's it has been. Still cannae quite believe how the day went fae being pure shite tae... Best day ever!! Aw within the space o' a few hours.
Firstly, ah wake up to sound arguing - my older sister (the middle child) and brother-in-law as per usual. Not the best start to the day. But I'm f**kin' so hyped and excited, cause aw those months o' tickets bookings n' money spent has come to this... Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2016, opening day.
So, me n' ma eldest sister sibling head off to Edinburgh, it's sunny on the way there. Me not being great small talk, keep the chat to a minimum. But not the extent we drive up there no sayin' yin word to each other.
Then, just as were aboot to hit the busier part o' Edinburgh, ah gan...
"Will we even make the first show in time at this rate?"
"How, whit time's it start?"
"Quarter to three..." Then there's a pause, as ma sister reach to get the tickets oot her bag, as her mistake dawns on her.
"F**k! Ah thought it wus quarter tae four... Och, f**kin' diversions! We'll jist huv tae gan, plead oor case n' how we get intae the gig, despite arriving late. We'll draw attention to oorsel' but cannae help that..
It's just leaving half past two, and I'm sitting there in passenger seat, quietly seething. Wonderin' just how in the f**k my oldest sibling managed to confuse the start time of the first show we were seeing.
Ah mean, ah know get on a bit in terms o' age, but we hud aw this planned months in advance. F**kin' spreadsheets, journey time, who we were gan to see, how much time we need going fae venue to venue. Aye, that how f**kin' organised we hud aw this. And all it took for my sister do this... to almost f**k-up the whole day.
"How, whit time's it start?"
"Quarter to three..." Then there's a pause, as ma sister reach to get the tickets oot her bag, as her mistake dawns on her.
"F**k! Ah thought it wus quarter tae four... Och, f**kin' diversions! We'll jist huv tae gan, plead oor case n' how we get intae the gig, despite arriving late. We'll draw attention to oorsel' but cannae help that..
It's just leaving half past two, and I'm sitting there in passenger seat, quietly seething. Wonderin' just how in the f**k my oldest sibling managed to confuse the start time of the first show we were seeing.
Ah mean, ah know get on a bit in terms o' age, but we hud aw this planned months in advance. F**kin' spreadsheets, journey time, who we were gan to see, how much time we need going fae venue to venue. Aye, that how f**kin' organised we hud aw this. And all it took for my sister do this... to almost f**k-up the whole day.
^ Sorry anybuddy's offended by that, well kinda.
Then as we finally get parked after driving aroon fur whit seemed ages. Ma sister swearing away at hersel' for her error and ar how long it took to get parked. While she's doing, this great, comically apt one-liner comes to me that ah couldnae keep tae masel', since it' just ruin the 2 other comedy shows we'd actually get to see...
See you, yer worse at keepin' time than Doctor Who. Which doesnae really work as an insult as effectively as it should.
By this time it wus just after 3 o'clock in the afternoon. We definitely missed Scott Gibson's stand-up show now. Even if he wus'nae bothered about late comers and we got into the gig. We'd be walkin' in at a point that would probably stop his show briefly. And there's nowt worse than folk showing up when a comedian is on stage in the middle o' joke or story.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
So, to kinda take ma mind off the fact ma sister done f**ked up. Ah decided to change into the blue on white t-shirt ah'll wear for the remainder o' the day, which is an exact match for the Adidas trainers I'm also wearing.
This rather provocative number... :bigsmile:
We going for a wee wander about, take it atmosphere. Stop every so often to be handed a flyer for a comedy show or theatre play. Which got quite comically after a while. Especially when ma sister turned down free tickets to a show by this young English fella which was set... in a pub, saying we hud another show at half past 8. She'd huv gotten away with it, hud see opted for this poster.
Since we are seeing Daniel later in the festival, rather say who were actually going to... and get the time completely wrong and get caught out as the poster just a few yards in front of us. With the correct seven-thirty start time.
Now, ah don't know about you, but a English piece of theatre set in a pub sounds like a great laugh. And those ticket were free... would any o' yous no jump at that offer. The young lad givin' ye them there n' then in the street no money transaction required. Huv a feelin' ma sister wishes she just went on impluse n' agreed rather declined a free show.
It's a bit like somebuddy give ye a million quid n' you no acceptin' it, 'cause ya wouldnae know whit tae do with it.
That said, we did manage tae make up fur missing the first show we'd planned to see in a way that ah still cannae f**in' believe...
This rather provocative number... :bigsmile:
We going for a wee wander about, take it atmosphere. Stop every so often to be handed a flyer for a comedy show or theatre play. Which got quite comically after a while. Especially when ma sister turned down free tickets to a show by this young English fella which was set... in a pub, saying we hud another show at half past 8. She'd huv gotten away with it, hud see opted for this poster.
Since we are seeing Daniel later in the festival, rather say who were actually going to... and get the time completely wrong and get caught out as the poster just a few yards in front of us. With the correct seven-thirty start time.
Now, ah don't know about you, but a English piece of theatre set in a pub sounds like a great laugh. And those ticket were free... would any o' yous no jump at that offer. The young lad givin' ye them there n' then in the street no money transaction required. Huv a feelin' ma sister wishes she just went on impluse n' agreed rather declined a free show.
It's a bit like somebuddy give ye a million quid n' you no acceptin' it, 'cause ya wouldnae know whit tae do with it.
That said, we did manage tae make up fur missing the first show we'd planned to see in a way that ah still cannae f**in' believe...
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Right, so, after huvin a wander about... we decided to grab a bite to eat at the Gilded Balloon. Which is this place, just to give yous a visual representation n' pad the f**k outta this boring recollection.
I opt for pancakes and strawberries over the usual maple syrup. And they're awkward as f**k to eat, being a plastic knife n' folk but nae plate. Instead, some c**nt's hud thee bright idea to serve pancakes wrapped in a paper cone, the way you'd sometime get fish n' chips if yer walkin' hame fae the pub on a Saturday night n' felt bit peckish along the way.
Anyway, after we get done with afternoon scran, ma sister starts complaining aboot the lack o' disabled parking in the proximity o' the venue. Sayin' there's nae way she's parkin' her car ootside a effin' Mosque. Ah know, it's political incorrect of her tae say, but she's no wrang in being wary to an extent.
Since, like me, she's no overly familiar with how Edinburgh is during the Fringe as far as where ye cun park, and how to get to certain venue, especially if it's somewhere we've no been before.
We're just sitting there, waiting to go to our next show. Me wish ah hud brung ma smartphone or a book to read to make the time pass quicker. When some Scottish fella, he looked about mid to late 30s, compliments me on the t-shirt I'm wearing and shake my hand. Which makes me and my sister laugh, as history repeated itself slightly. Because the same thing happened when ah wore a similar t-shirt to last year's Edinburgh Fringe.
My sister wondering out-loud how Fred MacAulay would've reacted had I been seeing him again this year, wearing the shirt I was currently. As the prior year had me almost ruin his stand-up show by wearing a similarly ironic but offensive disability related t-shirt and sitting in my wheelchair by the side of the stage. And with brightness of the stage lighting, you make out the shirt quite clearly.
But I digress... Needless to say, this brief complimentary remark fae a total stranger about my t-shirt wus'nae the most surreal moment I'd experience before the day's end.
I opt for pancakes and strawberries over the usual maple syrup. And they're awkward as f**k to eat, being a plastic knife n' folk but nae plate. Instead, some c**nt's hud thee bright idea to serve pancakes wrapped in a paper cone, the way you'd sometime get fish n' chips if yer walkin' hame fae the pub on a Saturday night n' felt bit peckish along the way.
Anyway, after we get done with afternoon scran, ma sister starts complaining aboot the lack o' disabled parking in the proximity o' the venue. Sayin' there's nae way she's parkin' her car ootside a effin' Mosque. Ah know, it's political incorrect of her tae say, but she's no wrang in being wary to an extent.
Since, like me, she's no overly familiar with how Edinburgh is during the Fringe as far as where ye cun park, and how to get to certain venue, especially if it's somewhere we've no been before.
We're just sitting there, waiting to go to our next show. Me wish ah hud brung ma smartphone or a book to read to make the time pass quicker. When some Scottish fella, he looked about mid to late 30s, compliments me on the t-shirt I'm wearing and shake my hand.
Which makes me and my sister laugh, as history repeated itself slightly. Because the same thing happened when ah wore a similar t-shirt to last year's Edinburgh Fringe.My sister wondering out-loud how Fred MacAulay would've reacted had I been seeing him again this year, wearing the shirt I was currently. As the prior year had me almost ruin his stand-up show by wearing a similarly ironic but offensive disability related t-shirt and sitting in my wheelchair by the side of the stage. And with brightness of the stage lighting, you make out the shirt quite clearly.
But I digress... Needless to say, this brief complimentary remark fae a total stranger about my t-shirt wus'nae the most surreal moment I'd experience before the day's end.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Just recall this moment in my mind, less than 24 hours later, makes me hope that ah didnae look weird or show any obvious signs o' anxiety. mg:
As ah said afore, f**k knows how ah didnae turn intae awkward, mumbling, stuttering, red-faced wreck of a man, as is normal the case with me and beautiful women. :shyness:
mg: As ah said afore, f**k knows how ah didnae turn intae awkward, mumbling, stuttering, red-faced wreck of a man, as is normal the case with me and beautiful women. :shyness:
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Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Now, afore ah tell ye about this random encounter which made me and my sister changed our intended plans for the following day o' the Fringe. Keep in mind my recollection is bit blurred by my stunned disbelief that it actually f**kin' happened! Pretty sure I made this face afterwards. :question: :bigsmile:
:question: :bigsmile:
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Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Right, here's the final bit of that story which related back to my last couple of posts. I'll probably split in into 2 more posts as well.
Friday August 6th 2016
So, sitting outside the aforementioned Gilded Balloon venue, me and my sister are chatting away. Ah think we were tryin' tae figure oot if we should chance our luck and try to rebook the show we hud just missed upon getting to Edinburgh for a later date during the festival, or wait and see if they end up doing a tour of Scotland and stop-off for a show in Dumfries.
As ah said, ah think that's we were discussing? Cause ah seriously cannae remember. And it might've huv been about half past four in the afternoon. When, suddenly as I'm still talking to my sister, this posh voiced English lady says "Hello...".
I turn my head, look up, and this gorgeous redhead is standing before me...
^ This is Diane Spencer. And, yes, that really is her actual name.
Same as the late Diana, Princess of Wales.
Anyway, after responding in kind with "Oh, hullo..." as we were stop mid-conversation, Diane hands us a flyer, croutches down and tell my sister and I about her new show. And how she's eventually going filming her new Edinburgh Fringe show at a later date in London, and uploads it to YouTube.
Friday August 6th 2016
So, sitting outside the aforementioned Gilded Balloon venue, me and my sister are chatting away. Ah think we were tryin' tae figure oot if we should chance our luck and try to rebook the show we hud just missed upon getting to Edinburgh for a later date during the festival, or wait and see if they end up doing a tour of Scotland and stop-off for a show in Dumfries.
As ah said, ah think that's we were discussing? Cause ah seriously cannae remember. And it might've huv been about half past four in the afternoon. When, suddenly as I'm still talking to my sister, this posh voiced English lady says "Hello...".
I turn my head, look up, and this gorgeous redhead is standing before me...
^ This is Diane Spencer. And, yes, that really is her actual name.
Same as the late Diana, Princess of Wales.
Anyway, after responding in kind with "Oh, hullo..." as we were stop mid-conversation, Diane hands us a flyer, croutches down and tell my sister and I about her new show. And how she's eventually going filming her new Edinburgh Fringe show at a later date in London, and uploads it to YouTube.
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Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Now, here's where it all goes a bit doolally, because ah huv an out of body experience of sorts. Sure, I'm smiling, nodding and responsive, going: "Uh-huh"
. Aw seem well externally. So far, so normal...
But, sadly for half ma brain, it wus a different story going on:
. And ma internal dialogue's gan it dinger:
It's like time's standing still. And I tryin' to keep ma nerve, physically. As, unbeknownst to my sister sitting beside for this duration of this encounter, and the woman herself - who wouldnae be aware of this for a few hours yet - I've actually recognised Diane here, still croutching to maintain eye contact with me.
Because 4 years ago, in a 2012, I randomly discovered her via YouTube, as she'd uploaded a few of previous stand-up comedy to the website in full. While I was actually just looking to see if there were any full length hour-long stand-up comedy specials uploaded, and one of the 2 shows she'd uploaded a few years previously was getting a lotta views.
So, liking her story-telling style and dark humour, I checked for her website to see if she had any shows available. And she had 2 DVDs on sale. But that wus'nae aw, I'd get personalised signed photo sent out along with the DVDs once they were paid for and purchased.
And I actually have it framed on my bedroom wall, next to my bookcase.
It's a 6x8" photo of this image, shown below:
With the following written across it:
Dear Graeme,
Thank you for laughing at me.
All the best. Diane x
:shyness:
Anyway, once Diane was done chatting to us, said bye to us and went on her way. Our interaction must've been no more than 5 minute, when my sister's looking at the flyer with a look of recognition, leans over to me and says:
It was at this moment that my sister and I hastily made a last minute change of plans to our first weekend of Edinburgh Fringe show. Instead of just wandering about Edinburgh all Saturday, taking in free shows, as we only hud tickets for a 9 o'clock evening show that day. We decided to head up to the Gilded Balloon box-office and booked 2 tickets for Diane's show for the following day, August 6th. Since she'd taken the time to speak to us about it. And we'd be back at the venue later anyway.
Oh, and she (Diane) was a long sleeved green top. Ah know might seem like a slightly odd detail to included about this random interaction, but since I can be sure just how long she was standing in front of me before saying hello. I'm sure the funny t-shirt I was wearing had something to do with.
Though, thanks to a comment I'd posted on Diane's most recent YouTube video before heading off for the venue we'd just briefly met outside of, I'd be in for a surprise upon arriving at the venue, while waiting for her show.
But our first day at the Fringe ends on a good note. My sister and I laughing hysterically, due it starting to rain heavily as we make our out of Tommy Tiernan's stand-up show, and through the crowds of people going about.
My sister frantically fumbling for her car keys, thinking she's lost 'em. Our t-shirts and upper bodies completely soaked. Her hair, much like my arm hair, is ringing wet. To the where we have dry ourselves off with the red vest I brought with me, thinking it'd be sunny the whole day.
Too add to this hilarious situation, we had to take our tops off and change into the hoddies we brought but left in the car.
Saturday, August 6th 2016
With our ribs still aching from Tommy Tiernan's show the previous evening, and the events of last night still fresh in our minds, we make our way to the Gilded Balloon yet again. Leaving at bit later than we had on Friday - half past two, instead of half twelve.
But, sadly for half ma brain, it wus a different story going on:
"Whit da fu...?! Wait, is that - naw! Cannae be her, surely no? F**kin' hell, is it her!"
It's like time's standing still. And I tryin' to keep ma nerve, physically. As, unbeknownst to my sister sitting beside for this duration of this encounter, and the woman herself - who wouldnae be aware of this for a few hours yet - I've actually recognised Diane here, still croutching to maintain eye contact with me.
Because 4 years ago, in a 2012, I randomly discovered her via YouTube, as she'd uploaded a few of previous stand-up comedy to the website in full. While I was actually just looking to see if there were any full length hour-long stand-up comedy specials uploaded, and one of the 2 shows she'd uploaded a few years previously was getting a lotta views.
So, liking her story-telling style and dark humour, I checked for her website to see if she had any shows available. And she had 2 DVDs on sale. But that wus'nae aw, I'd get personalised signed photo sent out along with the DVDs once they were paid for and purchased.
And I actually have it framed on my bedroom wall, next to my bookcase.
It's a 6x8" photo of this image, shown below:
With the following written across it:
Dear Graeme,
Thank you for laughing at me.
All the best. Diane x
:shyness:
Anyway, once Diane was done chatting to us, said bye to us and went on her way. Our interaction must've been no more than 5 minute, when my sister's looking at the flyer with a look of recognition, leans over to me and says:
"Am sure ah recognise her, did you no?" This question makes smile, but I'm desperately trying to supress my laughter at the same time. After a short pause, I respond...
"...Probably because ah've got a signed personalised photo o' her on the wall beside ma bookcase. Y'know, the yin ah mean?"
"That's it! Was that her, like?"
"Aye! Ah recognised her as she wus tell us about her new show", I laugh as I finish saying this. Still in slight shock, taken aback. And processing what... just... happened!
"...Probably because ah've got a signed personalised photo o' her on the wall beside ma bookcase. Y'know, the yin ah mean?"
"That's it! Was that her, like?"
"Aye! Ah recognised her as she wus tell us about her new show", I laugh as I finish saying this. Still in slight shock, taken aback. And processing what... just... happened!
It was at this moment that my sister and I hastily made a last minute change of plans to our first weekend of Edinburgh Fringe show. Instead of just wandering about Edinburgh all Saturday, taking in free shows, as we only hud tickets for a 9 o'clock evening show that day. We decided to head up to the Gilded Balloon box-office and booked 2 tickets for Diane's show for the following day, August 6th. Since she'd taken the time to speak to us about it. And we'd be back at the venue later anyway.
Oh, and she (Diane) was a long sleeved green top. Ah know might seem like a slightly odd detail to included about this random interaction, but since I can be sure just how long she was standing in front of me before saying hello. I'm sure the funny t-shirt I was wearing had something to do with.
Though, thanks to a comment I'd posted on Diane's most recent YouTube video before heading off for the venue we'd just briefly met outside of, I'd be in for a surprise upon arriving at the venue, while waiting for her show.
But our first day at the Fringe ends on a good note. My sister and I laughing hysterically, due it starting to rain heavily as we make our out of Tommy Tiernan's stand-up show, and through the crowds of people going about.
My sister frantically fumbling for her car keys, thinking she's lost 'em. Our t-shirts and upper bodies completely soaked. Her hair, much like my arm hair, is ringing wet. To the where we have dry ourselves off with the red vest I brought with me, thinking it'd be sunny the whole day.
Too add to this hilarious situation, we had to take our tops off and change into the hoddies we brought but left in the car.
Saturday, August 6th 2016
With our ribs still aching from Tommy Tiernan's show the previous evening, and the events of last night still fresh in our minds, we make our way to the Gilded Balloon yet again. Leaving at bit later than we had on Friday - half past two, instead of half twelve.
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Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Anyway, cutting a long story short, not long after I'd gotten home on Friday night , I went onto YouTube, and searched my recent viewing history. As I'd watched some of Diane Spencer's last and most recent stand-up comedy special, Power Tool a few weeks before my sister and I head to Edinburgh. It's purely a coincidence that I'd actually met her just a few hours ago that same day.
Plus, when I was making a list of what comedians I will definitely be seeing at this year's Fringe I'd put her name down, not thinking we'd actually end up going to her show. Because some tickets were put onsale a few months earlier than usual for Edinburgh this year, which saved that mad rush of trying to get shows booked between June and August.
F**k! I'm blethering oan here, umn't ah? Shame that I'm oh-so shy n' quiet in real life.
Anyway, getting to the point. Ah shouldnae huv said this story would short... Just before heading back up the Fringe, I leave a comment on the aforementioned stand-up special, knowing full well that Diane would reply to it at some point. Ah just didnae realised or expect it'd be within the time of my sister and I leaving and arriving in Edinburgh.h: Saying she'd see me later... Oooh! :blushing:
Though, on the way up, ma sister and I were more concerned with re-booking what should've been our first show for the last weekend of the Fringe. So was none the wiser about the YouTube comment. Much to my delight, we manage to get tickets for the show we'd missed rebooked for the 28th. Then make our way through to the aptly named, Wee Room, which just holds a capacity of 50 people. And waiting patiently for the previous show to empty out, and Diane's to begin. My sister and I huvin a wee chuckle to ourselves as she points out a sign for "Gender neutral toilets". But not in mocking way, just at how usual it is to see it, not being Edinburgh natives ourselves.
So, people are coming and going from the bar; the show we're going to see at 9 o'clock is just emptying out a packed, sold-out crowd from the earlier 6 o'clock show that had just been announced earlier in the morning. So the place is pretty busy. To the point where I don't even notice Diane arriving, until after she wanders over from talking to some of venue staff and says:
And, just when ah thought our briefly interaction was done, I manage to make her laugh. Because, just before the staff are ready to let us in all in, Diane is standing in the doorway of the Wee Room. She pokes her head out and says to me:
Plus, when I was making a list of what comedians I will definitely be seeing at this year's Fringe I'd put her name down, not thinking we'd actually end up going to her show. Because some tickets were put onsale a few months earlier than usual for Edinburgh this year, which saved that mad rush of trying to get shows booked between June and August.
F**k! I'm blethering oan here, umn't ah? Shame that I'm oh-so shy n' quiet in real life.
Anyway, getting to the point. Ah shouldnae huv said this story would short... Just before heading back up the Fringe, I leave a comment on the aforementioned stand-up special, knowing full well that Diane would reply to it at some point. Ah just didnae realised or expect it'd be within the time of my sister and I leaving and arriving in Edinburgh.
h: Saying she'd see me later... Oooh! :blushing:Though, on the way up, ma sister and I were more concerned with re-booking what should've been our first show for the last weekend of the Fringe. So was none the wiser about the YouTube comment. Much to my delight, we manage to get tickets for the show we'd missed rebooked for the 28th. Then make our way through to the aptly named, Wee Room, which just holds a capacity of 50 people. And waiting patiently for the previous show to empty out, and Diane's to begin. My sister and I huvin a wee chuckle to ourselves as she points out a sign for "Gender neutral toilets". But not in mocking way, just at how usual it is to see it, not being Edinburgh natives ourselves.
So, people are coming and going from the bar; the show we're going to see at 9 o'clock is just emptying out a packed, sold-out crowd from the earlier 6 o'clock show that had just been announced earlier in the morning. So the place is pretty busy. To the point where I don't even notice Diane arriving, until after she wanders over from talking to some of venue staff and says:
"Hi. Are you, Graeme?"
"Yeah, that's me!", I respond with a dimple-cheeked smile, and shaking her hand.
"I just replied to the comment you left me on YouTube a few hours ago."
"Did you?"
"Yeah", she nods. Both of us sharing a wee nervous laugh.
"Awww, thanks", I say, hoping I'm not blushing.
"Well, nice to meet you... again", which gets another, bigger, laugh from the both of us. "Hope you enjoy the show"
"Yeah, that's me!", I respond with a dimple-cheeked smile, and shaking her hand.
"I just replied to the comment you left me on YouTube a few hours ago."
"Did you?"
"Yeah", she nods. Both of us sharing a wee nervous laugh.
"Awww, thanks", I say, hoping I'm not blushing.
"Well, nice to meet you... again", which gets another, bigger, laugh from the both of us. "Hope you enjoy the show"
And, just when ah thought our briefly interaction was done, I manage to make her laugh. Because, just before the staff are ready to let us in all in, Diane is standing in the doorway of the Wee Room. She pokes her head out and says to me:
"Just a heads up, it's going to get really warm sitting in here with that jacket on."
Referring to the thick black jacket I have on. And I respond with...
"Nae bother. Ah'll be taking it off, anyway." :bigsmile:
Referring to the thick black jacket I have on. And I respond with...
"Nae bother. Ah'll be taking it off, anyway." :bigsmile:
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Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
All those years thinkin' that ah wus lazy n' stupid...
Research suggests being lazy is a sign of high intelligence | The Independent
Research suggests being lazy is a sign of high intelligence | The Independent
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Ah don't know if I'm startin' tae like masel' a wee bit more, or I'm more comfy with no really caring as much as ah used to? :question: Anyway, that wus'nae really why ah decided to write this. Though, if anyone of you are the youngest sibling, ye might be able to relate? Or, if not, you'll probably get a laugh outta this as well...
I'm just trying to figure out which family members are the most embarrassing - yer parents or siblings? In ma case it's kinda both. Not that it's a competition.
The only reason I ask this is because ma oldest sister did summit she's no done in ages. She tried to make feel self-conscious aboot masel', not in terms o' appearance. But just that typical slightly humliating hazing yer siblings and family generally do when they find out you've got a crush on some lassie. Or you find out some girl fancies ya, y'know?
Not that what I'm about to tell ya is remotely like that. Though, it is similar.
So, here's what happened earlier today...
It's about 1:45pm, and my oldest sister and I huv just got back from short car ride around the town. Chatting about the Edinburgh Fringe, like how it's been going so far, and we've only seen 4 of 9 shows we've planned to see in the space of 2 days. No summit ah recommend, unless you plan well in advance. Then we yapped about the possibility of me volunteering to help people with learning disabilities improve their computer skills, maybe next year? Not that I'm against that in any way. It's just... me not being a great communicator/talker, or great in group situation. Or confident. Ah dinnae ken if I'm the right guy to do it, like. Given the reasons I just mentioned. :idontknow:
Anyway, gettin' back tae feckin' point, again. Sorry ah digressed, there.
So, as ah wus sayin', we've gotten back. We're oot ma sister's car and I'm striding up the long path to ma house. When this young lassie - probably about the same age as me, or no far off - comes round the corner, heading in the opposite direction. She smilies at me, says "Hullo" as she passes me, ah give a wee nod and say "Hiya". Nuthin' embarrassing there, right?
Oh, here it comes... My sister, upon witnessing this, goes:
Ah just laughed this teasing banter off, and treat the question as rhetorical, rather than acknowledging it. Since it'd make me sound arrogant to admit that this wus actually the case. Even though, it wus...
Strange, how ma sister never did this same thing other day at the Fringe? Too public, perhaps?
Or, mibbe, the fact that she wouldnae just huv been embarrassing me in that moment if she'd done so?mg:
I'm just trying to figure out which family members are the most embarrassing - yer parents or siblings? In ma case it's kinda both. Not that it's a competition.
The only reason I ask this is because ma oldest sister did summit she's no done in ages. She tried to make feel self-conscious aboot masel', not in terms o' appearance. But just that typical slightly humliating hazing yer siblings and family generally do when they find out you've got a crush on some lassie. Or you find out some girl fancies ya, y'know?
Not that what I'm about to tell ya is remotely like that. Though, it is similar.
So, here's what happened earlier today...
It's about 1:45pm, and my oldest sister and I huv just got back from short car ride around the town. Chatting about the Edinburgh Fringe, like how it's been going so far, and we've only seen 4 of 9 shows we've planned to see in the space of 2 days. No summit ah recommend, unless you plan well in advance. Then we yapped about the possibility of me volunteering to help people with learning disabilities improve their computer skills, maybe next year? Not that I'm against that in any way. It's just... me not being a great communicator/talker, or great in group situation. Or confident. Ah dinnae ken if I'm the right guy to do it, like. Given the reasons I just mentioned. :idontknow:
Anyway, gettin' back tae feckin' point, again. Sorry ah digressed, there.
So, as ah wus sayin', we've gotten back. We're oot ma sister's car and I'm striding up the long path to ma house. When this young lassie - probably about the same age as me, or no far off - comes round the corner, heading in the opposite direction. She smilies at me, says "Hullo" as she passes me, ah give a wee nod and say "Hiya". Nuthin' embarrassing there, right?
Oh, here it comes... My sister, upon witnessing this, goes:
"Wha wus that, then, eh?"
"Nae idea. Honestly couldnae tell ye..."
"She wus check you oot, give ye the eye. Did ye see that?"
"Nae idea. Honestly couldnae tell ye..."
"She wus check you oot, give ye the eye. Did ye see that?"
Ah just laughed this teasing banter off, and treat the question as rhetorical, rather than acknowledging it. Since it'd make me sound arrogant to admit that this wus actually the case. Even though, it wus...
Strange, how ma sister never did this same thing other day at the Fringe? Too public, perhaps?
Or, mibbe, the fact that she wouldnae just huv been embarrassing me in that moment if she'd done so?
mg:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Oh! I'd actually forgot to mention this the other day. Ah should've included in the previous couple of posts, as it happened following that random encounter, which is probably going to be my highlight of my time at the Edinburgh Fringe this year.
^ Right, so, this a few hours after our random chance encounter, and after attending another show at the venue just next door to the Gilded Balloon. We decided to get a bite to eat, then we gan n' book the tickets for the Saturday early evening show.
So we get outta the venue next door, and back into the courtyard area outside the Gilded Ballon. And there's nowhere to sit... Or there would've been hud this nice Englishman and his family not told us they were just heading off in a few minutes. My sister decided to just park me there, and go and get us a couple o' burgers. And I force a some small-talk, which wus less painful than I'd thought...
Oh, by the way, the English fella looked kinda Jewish. Not sayin' he was, though his nose gave him that look, y'know? F**k! Is that racist?. Anyway, we're chatting away.
I make mention of coming to the Fringe back 2009 but not making the most of it like ah did this year. He tells me about how he had cancel and reschedule the hotel that him and his family were staying at, because they booked for 3 days before this year's Fringe. Then, just as the fella and his family depart, he says this to me:
Now I have to included and quote this Bill Hicks joke:
"You know how in many parts of our troubled world they are yelling 'revolution! revolution!' In Tennessee they are yelling 'evolution...we want our thumbs!' The thing is they see people with thumbs on T.V. all day, boy that's got to drive them hog-wild huh? Trailers are shaking. They're nice people they're just, what would you call 'em - rural? Backwoods, country? They're real nice, after a show one of these guys came up to me and said 'hey, you're great, you cracked me up, I was about to spit!' ...Sorry? He said 'no I loved it, I'd like you to meet my wife and sister.' And there was one girl standing there...not a thumb between 'em."
Ye want to know the funny thing about aw this? This recent incident, the first time one o' ma sister has been mistaken for being ma wife. One of ma cousin's friends, a few years ago, thought ma older sister wus actually ma girlfriend.h:
Which makes me curious to know how old people think I am, like at a guess just by lookin' at me?
Because when ah wus 14, ah got mistaken for being 18. :question:
^ Right, so, this a few hours after our random chance encounter, and after attending another show at the venue just next door to the Gilded Balloon. We decided to get a bite to eat, then we gan n' book the tickets for the Saturday early evening show.
So we get outta the venue next door, and back into the courtyard area outside the Gilded Ballon. And there's nowhere to sit... Or there would've been hud this nice Englishman and his family not told us they were just heading off in a few minutes. My sister decided to just park me there, and go and get us a couple o' burgers. And I force a some small-talk, which wus less painful than I'd thought...
Oh, by the way, the English fella looked kinda Jewish. Not sayin' he was, though his nose gave him that look, y'know? F**k! Is that racist?. Anyway, we're chatting away.
"You from here then, eh?"
"No, Lockerbie", I say, somewhat quietly.
"Where?"
"Lockerbie"
"Oh yeah, that's not far from here, is it?"
"Naw, just an hour's journey south"
"You been comin' 'ere often, then?"
"Aye, the last couple of years"
"No, Lockerbie", I say, somewhat quietly.
"Where?"
"Lockerbie"
"Oh yeah, that's not far from here, is it?"
"Naw, just an hour's journey south"
"You been comin' 'ere often, then?"
"Aye, the last couple of years"
I make mention of coming to the Fringe back 2009 but not making the most of it like ah did this year. He tells me about how he had cancel and reschedule the hotel that him and his family were staying at, because they booked for 3 days before this year's Fringe. Then, just as the fella and his family depart, he says this to me:
"Shouldn't be long til your missus gets back"
"Sister"mg:
"Oh, right. Well, best be off, then. Nice meeting ya, enjoy the festival"
"Sister"
mg:"Oh, right. Well, best be off, then. Nice meeting ya, enjoy the festival"
Now I have to included and quote this Bill Hicks joke:
"You know how in many parts of our troubled world they are yelling 'revolution! revolution!' In Tennessee they are yelling 'evolution...we want our thumbs!' The thing is they see people with thumbs on T.V. all day, boy that's got to drive them hog-wild huh? Trailers are shaking. They're nice people they're just, what would you call 'em - rural? Backwoods, country? They're real nice, after a show one of these guys came up to me and said 'hey, you're great, you cracked me up, I was about to spit!' ...Sorry? He said 'no I loved it, I'd like you to meet my wife and sister.' And there was one girl standing there...not a thumb between 'em."
Ye want to know the funny thing about aw this? This recent incident, the first time one o' ma sister has been mistaken for being ma wife. One of ma cousin's friends, a few years ago, thought ma older sister wus actually ma girlfriend.
h: Which makes me curious to know how old people think I am, like at a guess just by lookin' at me?
Because when ah wus 14, ah got mistaken for being 18. :question:
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Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Intelligent people tend to be messy, stay awake longer, and swear more | Business Insider
Does this apply to me, ah wonder? :thinking:
Does this apply to me, ah wonder? :thinking:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Oh-kay... So, just got an email askin' if I'd be interested in joining the Edinburgh Festival Fringe Society, and helpin' out next year. Firstly, it sounds great. Second, if I actually lived in or near there, it'd be a wee bit easier. And finally... How much feckin' money did ah spend on tickets this year? :question:
Cause, let's face it, they wouldnae be askin' me to get involved if ah didnae spend a fair bit o' dosh this year. Ma sister's kinda pushing me to apply, sayin' she be more than happy to fit her work around me helpin' the Fringe next year, if ah decide to do it. But... :idontknow: Though, part o' me is wonderin', if ah could still help out and go to some shows next year? Like help out in the months beforehand, gettin' stuff organised.
Cause, let's face it, they wouldnae be askin' me to get involved if ah didnae spend a fair bit o' dosh this year. Ma sister's kinda pushing me to apply, sayin' she be more than happy to fit her work around me helpin' the Fringe next year, if ah decide to do it. But... :idontknow: Though, part o' me is wonderin', if ah could still help out and go to some shows next year? Like help out in the months beforehand, gettin' stuff organised.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Is it weird that I've already started planning for next year's Edinburgh Fringe? Ah mean, it seem a bit earlier, huvin only been here a week.
Though, next year, if ma sister and I are going back? We're bookin' a hotel months in advance. Ah dinnae care if we huv to book on ma birthday just to be on the safe side. Ah'll be huvin nae of this, last minute pish.
F**kin' hate myself at times, why did ah huv to be the sensible, senstive, smart yin o' the family? :kickingmyself: See if it were up to me, ah would've book the hotel as soon as ah'd heard tickets for the Fringe were going onsale early. But naw? Get the tickets booked first, doesnae matter if they're only between £5 - £12. Nevermind, Edinburgh is be houchin' with tourists at this time o' year.h:
Oh, and speakin' of Edinburgh, why d'ye get these skinny-jeaned, hipster-lookin' c**ts handing out flyer during the Fringe? Not that that's ma main issue here. Ah just think these f**kers should watch a few episode o' Dragons' Den. Reducing yer sales pitch down to a 30 second tagline, then handing over a flyer is not great marketing, in my opinion. Unless, you've got ADHD...
See, ah didnae mind when Diane Spencer approached me. Cause, at least, she didnae just hand me the flyer then f**k off! She actually took the time to speak to me for a few minutes.
Though, next year, if ma sister and I are going back? We're bookin' a hotel months in advance. Ah dinnae care if we huv to book on ma birthday just to be on the safe side. Ah'll be huvin nae of this, last minute pish.
F**kin' hate myself at times, why did ah huv to be the sensible, senstive, smart yin o' the family? :kickingmyself: See if it were up to me, ah would've book the hotel as soon as ah'd heard tickets for the Fringe were going onsale early. But naw? Get the tickets booked first, doesnae matter if they're only between £5 - £12. Nevermind, Edinburgh is be houchin' with tourists at this time o' year.
h:Oh, and speakin' of Edinburgh, why d'ye get these skinny-jeaned, hipster-lookin' c**ts handing out flyer during the Fringe? Not that that's ma main issue here. Ah just think these f**kers should watch a few episode o' Dragons' Den. Reducing yer sales pitch down to a 30 second tagline, then handing over a flyer is not great marketing, in my opinion. Unless, you've got ADHD...
See, ah didnae mind when Diane Spencer approached me. Cause, at least, she didnae just hand me the flyer then f**k off! She actually took the time to speak to me for a few minutes.
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Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Just because ah seem smarter than yer average spastic doesnae make it so.
Sorry if anybuddy's offended by me using such derogatory term to describe masel'. Dinnae worry, I'm actually be self-depricating, there.
Startin' to think ma family deliberately disregard ma advice, just so they cun waste ma time. :veryangry: Or ah might huv used reverse psychology on one o' ma sisters. Because you'll never guess whit she's went n' done, efter tellin' her not to buy a certain brand name printer...mg:
Well, that's me put in a slightly shitty mood. Though, at least ah saw a fella doing the invisible drum kit mime the other night in Edinbugh, and a French acrobatic duo (a man and wummin) going about handing out flyers for their show. Both in top hat and tails. With the wummin balanced perfectly on the guy's shoulder. Oh, and they were wearing black n' white facepaint anaw. :bigsmile:
Sorry if anybuddy's offended by me using such derogatory term to describe masel'. Dinnae worry, I'm actually be self-depricating, there.
Startin' to think ma family deliberately disregard ma advice, just so they cun waste ma time. :veryangry: Or ah might huv used reverse psychology on one o' ma sisters. Because you'll never guess whit she's went n' done, efter tellin' her not to buy a certain brand name printer...
mg:Well, that's me put in a slightly shitty mood. Though, at least ah saw a fella doing the invisible drum kit mime the other night in Edinbugh, and a French acrobatic duo (a man and wummin) going about handing out flyers for their show. Both in top hat and tails. With the wummin balanced perfectly on the guy's shoulder. Oh, and they were wearing black n' white facepaint anaw. :bigsmile:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
D'y'know what really irritates me about constantly being asked to help others - but especially family? They dinnae seem that keen tae repay ya in kind. Sorry to rant about this, but it just f**kin' frustrating tae huv your words disregarded, as yer no even worth the time.
Like, if ah telt you, right: Naw, ah would recommend daein that, masel'. But, y'know, it's up tae you, like. Ye dinnae turn n' blame me, ah only gave you advice based an experience that didnae exactly turn out well. If ah wanted someone tae repeat my mistakes, I'd gan:
Hmmm... That didnae work oot to well, like. But, if ye want to huv yer good laugh; aye, goan yersel, like.
Jings!mg: Do any of yous huv family like that? Who think they know everything, but when confronted with summit they didnae realise wus'nae as easy as it seemed, they just asked some c*nt with patience and common sense to do whatever they couldn't.
It's an effin' curse being me, like. It really is, honestly. And am no talkin' disability here. Ah mean, like being the yin who's always deid last. Ignored. Neglected. Always huvin to put other folk ahead o' me, as far whit they want or need. Asks so little o' people, yet get ah ended up gettin' f**k all.
That why I think I'm always so nice n' humble. Because it's rare in my family, for someone to ask for summit withoot there being a motive behind the request, that you'll be forced into fifilling anything asked of you, even ya say no.
Sorry, just get this outta ma system, for fear ah'll start ragin' at some stranger in the street o' Edinburgh who didnae deserve being yelled at.
Like, if ah telt you, right: Naw, ah would recommend daein that, masel'. But, y'know, it's up tae you, like. Ye dinnae turn n' blame me, ah only gave you advice based an experience that didnae exactly turn out well. If ah wanted someone tae repeat my mistakes, I'd gan:
Hmmm... That didnae work oot to well, like. But, if ye want to huv yer good laugh; aye, goan yersel, like.
Jings!
mg: Do any of yous huv family like that? Who think they know everything, but when confronted with summit they didnae realise wus'nae as easy as it seemed, they just asked some c*nt with patience and common sense to do whatever they couldn't.It's an effin' curse being me, like. It really is, honestly. And am no talkin' disability here. Ah mean, like being the yin who's always deid last. Ignored. Neglected. Always huvin to put other folk ahead o' me, as far whit they want or need. Asks so little o' people, yet get ah ended up gettin' f**k all.
That why I think I'm always so nice n' humble. Because it's rare in my family, for someone to ask for summit withoot there being a motive behind the request, that you'll be forced into fifilling anything asked of you, even ya say no.
Sorry, just get this outta ma system, for fear ah'll start ragin' at some stranger in the street o' Edinburgh who didnae deserve being yelled at.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Oh, f**k! mg: Ma mum n' oldest sister hud an argument. Don't ye just hate when you hear 2 folk over the phone like that? mg:
Ah probably should've kept ma gob shut, instead o' agreeing with ma sister. Because ah know where she's comin' fae. Oor mum cannae go on hoarding food n' drink like this. She buy loads o' it - in bulk no less. We've got a f**kin' stack o' fizzy drink behind the living room couch. Crisps, and cat food for the stray we've "adopted".
It's gettin' beyond a joke, like. Mum's just laughin' away, thinkin' aw this is hysterical. Aye, to her it might well be. But I'm just tryin' to work out, is this some kinda OCD habit? Or huv the supermarket's really got her hooked with the marketing scam of the weekly offer, which dinnae actually end, y'know?
As ma sister said to me, whit d'ye do with someone like that? :idontknow: Ah find it kinda embarrassin', masel'. Ah mean, see when oor mum wus away visitin' her "favourite child" in Ireland. Sorry, didnae mean that too sounds as bitter, as it is.
Anyway, when she wus over there, and I was left on ma own - f**kin' peace for a few days - my sister and I did the shoppin', and it wus very much what do I need for the next few days. Nae o' this f**kin' peggin' it doon every isle, tryin' to clock every 2 for 1 offer. "Oh, look that's half-price". Naw, sod that! Right, whit do I need? Bish, bash, bosh! Och, ah'll treat masel'. Then self-checkout, everythin' bagged, and yer oot o' there.
Sorry to rant about this. It's cringe-worthy to realise that yer mother is more like to appear on that reality TV series, Hoarders. Even though, I'm just as guilty with all the magazines, books n' DVDs ah huv lyin' about in ma room. But am no f**kin' makin' a shoppin' list, gan oot 2 times a week and comin' back with mair than ah intended. Any c*nt with even slightest bit o' common sense would see yer over-spending and over-stockin' here.
F**k, ma Mum might as well walk intae Tesco, gan up tae yin o' the lassie at the tills n' whisper: "How much would it cost tae buy every half-price and 2 for 1 item that's onsale the day?" Would be a bit o' laugh, if ma Mum wus'nae the type o' person inclined to do such a thing if she hud the money.
Seriously, if ma family every won the Lottery, I'd bet ma mum would spending a quarter o' her winnings in Tesco and a year long subscription to the People's Friend magazine. :bigsmile:
mg: Ma mum n' oldest sister hud an argument. Don't ye just hate when you hear 2 folk over the phone like that? mg:Ah probably should've kept ma gob shut, instead o' agreeing with ma sister. Because ah know where she's comin' fae. Oor mum cannae go on hoarding food n' drink like this. She buy loads o' it - in bulk no less. We've got a f**kin' stack o' fizzy drink behind the living room couch. Crisps, and cat food for the stray we've "adopted".
It's gettin' beyond a joke, like. Mum's just laughin' away, thinkin' aw this is hysterical. Aye, to her it might well be. But I'm just tryin' to work out, is this some kinda OCD habit? Or huv the supermarket's really got her hooked with the marketing scam of the weekly offer, which dinnae actually end, y'know?
As ma sister said to me, whit d'ye do with someone like that? :idontknow: Ah find it kinda embarrassin', masel'. Ah mean, see when oor mum wus away visitin' her "favourite child" in Ireland. Sorry, didnae mean that too sounds as bitter, as it is.
Anyway, when she wus over there, and I was left on ma own - f**kin' peace for a few days - my sister and I did the shoppin', and it wus very much what do I need for the next few days. Nae o' this f**kin' peggin' it doon every isle, tryin' to clock every 2 for 1 offer. "Oh, look that's half-price". Naw, sod that! Right, whit do I need? Bish, bash, bosh! Och, ah'll treat masel'. Then self-checkout, everythin' bagged, and yer oot o' there.
Sorry to rant about this. It's cringe-worthy to realise that yer mother is more like to appear on that reality TV series, Hoarders. Even though, I'm just as guilty with all the magazines, books n' DVDs ah huv lyin' about in ma room. But am no f**kin' makin' a shoppin' list, gan oot 2 times a week and comin' back with mair than ah intended. Any c*nt with even slightest bit o' common sense would see yer over-spending and over-stockin' here.
F**k, ma Mum might as well walk intae Tesco, gan up tae yin o' the lassie at the tills n' whisper: "How much would it cost tae buy every half-price and 2 for 1 item that's onsale the day?" Would be a bit o' laugh, if ma Mum wus'nae the type o' person inclined to do such a thing if she hud the money.
Seriously, if ma family every won the Lottery, I'd bet ma mum would spending a quarter o' her winnings in Tesco and a year long subscription to the People's Friend magazine. :bigsmile: