No school or no job? You too?

[Falkor]

Hi kind social phobics

I am wondering, are there any people out there, who actually are at home, are unemployed, have no job, no school, or no diploma's? or have missed some stuff, like going out, having no (or few) friends..

What are the things that you don't have, at the moment, and you'd like to really get or find a way to get it?

Thank you!

Here's a little detail of my own story:

I just dropped out of school again, because it is too hard for me. I never had a real job, I don't have much friends, I rarely went out, I have no diploma's or certificates (only a social skills training), and so I feel strange to tell this to people, feel less, but I think it would be nice to share this with people who are on the same boat :question: And maybe we can support each other.

And if you have a job or school, what are the problems you face ?

Thanks for sharing and hope to hear from you guys soon

Falkor

 

[SilentAndShy]

I don't have a job because I left it due to getting annoyed, stressed out and depressed at my life. What I don't have at the moment is a good job where I can use my degree and a woman who I can have a relationship with that might lead to some sort of happiness.

I've applied for a job that I hope will start something but not getting too excited about it as it may end up in disappointment.

 

[lyricalliaisons]

I turned 31 at the end of January and have never had a job because of my issues. I have severe social anxiety and agoraphobia, and as I can not leave home or be around people much, I have never been able to work. I finally got my GED at the end of 2006 and began college in 2008, but I haven't taken classes in a long time. I plan on doing so again in the Fall semester though. I mainly take online classes. I tried on campus classes my first two semesters but could not handle it. I'll have to take more again on campus soon because they don't offer those classes online and I will not get my degree without taking them. I'm scared of how I will handle having to go to the campus again.

 

[EscapeArtist]

Sorry to hear all this, to everybody who has posted, that it has been so hard for you. What kind of school did you drop out of Falkor?

Glad to hear that you have a degree to use, SilentandShy. That will come in handy

I dropped out of highschool 3 years ago and am still trying to complete it. I have tried adult night classes and have tried online classes. For 2 years I kept retaking the same 2 classes and then failing to show up 3 months in..... Finally I'm getting them done slowly... Online is definitely easier, but if you're a huge procrastinator/avoider like me, it's still not easy, despite that us social phobes have a lot of time to introspect and become more self aware and keen to the world around us. It really sucks too, because I love learning and classes with a passion, but it's so hard to go and stay with the people.

I've just turned 20 and am too old for support from parents now, so the pressure is on to get a job asap, which is super scary.... but i have to start.... I held a job once, but after 4 months I just stopped showing up without notice, so I don't have much experience and definitely no references to use haha..

This is a good idea for a thread because I'm sure a lot of us struggle with a lifestyle that makes everyday goals so difficult like this. Not to mention, how many of us are scared to meet people simply because they'll ask what we're doing with our lives, and we'll have nothing to report other than constant attempts and drop outs? keep this support thread alive.

 

[spearhunter]

I am in the same boat as you.I dropped out of college twice because I also could not handle it.After that i had a job for 3.5 years and then my social anxiety and insomnia become so bad that I could not work or by any means be around people.I also have been self medicating for my insomnia for the last year and i think that all of that gave a severe depression.So basically I have no job, no school diploma, I don't go to school, I am depressed, Cant sleep, no girlfriend and just a few friends and also severely in debt because i have been living much on credit.I hope it will get better because I cannot think of a deeper hole then this.

 

[Richey]

The issue seems to be the uncertainty of it all. I mean even the most regarded job search sites do not have much for people at entry level or a basic level. Also most of the good job agencies are usually found out through word of mouth. Alot of them have a few pages of jobs aimed at very niche/specific workers.

So i just feel like there should be better guidance for people in terms of work. A degree doesn't mean you will get work in that industry. Especially if there aren't alot of adverts for positions.

It almost feels like there is this secret to going about it the right way that only the insiders know about.

I am always amazed by people who knew what their career would be from young and it all just happened and they are successful. It takes alot of variables to actually achieve that, but some make it look simple.

It's hard if you don't have a specific aim or industry you want to work in.

As for University. I am studying basic maths at the moment, starting to get into complex formulas, reading through books and the language or writing just doesn't make alot of sense to me. So it can be very hard if you don't have the talent or the insight to learn something well. As in, you read through it many times but it just isn't making alot of sense in terms of logic.

Anyway as for the more positive things. Opportunities will come up if you really work very hard to get somewhere. But if lack of energy and procrastination gets in the way then things will not progress.

But yeah, its really hard. And usually things don't come to you, especially if you don't go out alot as well.

I think often the problem is that people don't know where to get help.

 

[jaim38]

I dropped out of college twice. I was bullied often and made some bad grades in school. Now I'm enrolled in another college near home and I'm taking all online classes. I'm feeling happier and making better grades. I'm also volunteering, which can sometimes be scary because it takes me out of my comfort zone.

 

[Falkor]

Sorry to hear all this, to everybody who has posted, that it has been so hard for you. What kind of school did you drop out of Falkor?

Glad to hear that you have a degree to use, SilentandShy. That will come in handy

I dropped out of highschool 3 years ago and am still trying to complete it. I have tried adult night classes and have tried online classes. For 2 years I kept retaking the same 2 classes and then failing to show up 3 months in..... Finally I'm getting them done slowly... Online is definitely easier, but if you're a huge procrastinator/avoider like me, it's still not easy, despite that us social phobes have a lot of time to introspect and become more self aware and keen to the world around us. It really sucks too, because I love learning and classes with a passion, but it's so hard to go and stay with the people.

I've just turned 20 and am too old for support from parents now, so the pressure is on to get a job asap, which is super scary.... but i have to start.... I held a job once, but after 4 months I just stopped showing up without notice, so I don't have much experience and definitely no references to use haha..

This is a good idea for a thread because I'm sure a lot of us struggle with a lifestyle that makes everyday goals so difficult like this. Not to mention, how many of us are scared to meet people simply because they'll ask what we're doing with our lives, and we'll have nothing to report other than constant attempts and drop outs? keep this support thread alive.

I am so sorry EscapeArtist about your struggle not having a job yet. Hope you find something. But I can totally understand it is really scary for you It's a big step, and yeah you need money, but if it really does not work out, can you get a payment like I have? I know in Holland the health care is really good, you can get payment, if you don't work, have a disorder, what so ever. I don't know about your country? But still I really hope you can get to work, since you will gain experience in the work field and I think that really will give you a nice boost, you will meet new people at your job to interact with, so that could be nice to get friends, you can get money of course which is attractive ha ha, you can maybe buy nice stuff, so look at the positive sides. All though it is freakingly big step I know.. I really pray for you, that you find something nice and that the time being will be good when you are in your job.

I dropped out at a college, I won't call the name because I rather don't want my classmates to read this haha, but uhm, it was a school here in the region and I was studying Computer Sciences, I liked it very much, I was one of the best students is what my mentor said, but yet I was too anxious for the intern-ship part, working at a company, with customers, I always froze up. But yet the boss was also stupid since he said, Sas, just game, and that's not a motivated work place.....

But hey, I examined all the subjects, so basically i'm all good, but the only thing left is a half year of internship where I am obligated to not cancel everyweek, what I did, that's the reason I dropped out :crying:

Online classes seems so awesome, wish I could join that school too, what kind of online class is it?

Yeah we drop outs have nothing to report to the people whom ask what we do. It sucks hey, but that's why this tread should be the ultimate support topic.

Thanks for your nice reply, have a good day

 

[Falkor]

I dropped out of college twice. I was bullied often and made some bad grades in school. Now I'm enrolled in another college near home and I'm taking all online classes. I'm feeling happier and making better grades. I'm also volunteering, which can sometimes be scary because it takes me out of my comfort zone.

That is amazing. Yeah I think online classes could be the ultimate rescue for us....

 

[anomicdeer]

I never been to school after graduation high school. Ive had a job before but I don't have it anymore, which was stupid of me...

So I'm home... all the time. Doing nothing important in other peoples eyes.

 

[IntheLabyrinth]

I luckily have a job, but it doesn't pay well. I have a degree too but I am not doing a damn thing with it. As far as all of you who have dropped out because it is too scary to go to school, I recommend talking to the teachers/professors about your SA so you won't have the added anxiety of getting called on in class or having to do presentations. This really helped me. I still had the fear of talking to the other students and having a panic attack, and of people seeing me sweat from my under arms on a daily basis because of the anxiety, but it was still a little easier to deal with since I didn't have to worry about being the center of attention during class. Usually, I could just sit in the back of class like a ghost that no one knew was there.

 

[BigJoe82]

I dropped out of high school when i was 18 i was failing and i was made fun of it just wasn't a good experience for me at all. i soon after was placed on disability by my psychiatrist and i haven't been to school or had a job since i am 30 now. i've had a few friends in the past right now i have none pretty much. i chat with someone in germany once in a blue moon but that is it. i had a best friend for a while but we parted ways.

video games, internet, tv, and music keep me busy and my mind off how sad my life is.

 

[Falkor]

I dropped out of high school when i was 18 i was failing and i was made fun of it just wasn't a good experience for me at all. i soon after was placed on disability by my psychiatrist and i haven't been to school or had a job since i am 30 now. i've had a few friends in the past right now i have none pretty much. i chat with someone in germany once in a blue moon but that is it. i had a best friend for a while but we parted ways.

video games, internet, tv, and music keep me busy and my mind off how sad my life is.

Wow I'm so sorry, You can always PM me if you need someone to talk to. I know exactly how that feels. Maybe you should join group therapy? Or join a sport? It's better for you i think. I'm going to join kickboxing to have some activity during the week..

My situation is so sad, that I think I'm less than all the people having diplomas and jobs. I hate telling them I don't have much experience.

 

[Something-Vague]

Falkor,

I'm sorry to hear that you have dropped out of school, but as IntheLabyrinth suggested, maybe it would be beneficial to let any future professors know about your SA and perhaps they will be more sensitive to your needs should you decide to return. I wish that you weren't having such a difficult time and I hope that you are able to go back to school and pursue a career, if that is what you'd like to do, and that you will chase after any other goals that you want to accomplish.

I have never had a real job either, so I feel you there. I dropped out of college within the first month a few years back due to SA as well as a result of a death in the family, but I am currently take online college courses.

What I'd really like to get or like to find a way to get? Well, I'd like to eventually find a job, as I feel guilty relying on family to help me so much with financial issues. I'd like to feel more self-sufficient and responsible. However, at the moment, finding a job is not only nerve-wracking because of possible interviews or talking with a potential employer initially, but also because of performance anxiety in front of the employer or other employees and having to deal with multiple people on a daily basis once I would actually start working at the job. In addition, school takes up a lot of my time, some of it being due to generalized anxiety, procrastination, and perfectionism, so that extra stress detracts additionally from me wanting to find a job. So, I was thinking that the first step in getting myself out there is volunteering, but just thinking of making phone calls and having to meet them initially is holding me back... which is saddening and because I absolutely love to help others. When I was younger, I used to volunteer with the elderly a lot and it was so rewarding. Perhaps volunteering would even help me to make some friends outside of the internet... I'd really like to go to a Graduate school eventually, where I would take the courses on campus. I've been doing online schooling since 11th grade and I wonder if that actually makes my social anxiety worse, since I am missing out on opportunities to face and be in the public eye. The only times that I've really been out lately are to go to appointments.

 

[PhantomPod]

I have my college degree and a good paying job in my field, so I'm happy about that. I've actually been at the same job for five years now, ever since I graduated.

I know that it's hard to just push through and go to your classes. Even though i was very anxious all the time and even had two panic attacks while giving presentations (so embarrassing!!) in class, I just somehow managed to push through and finish school. But I have zero friends and I've never been in a relationship. Sometimes I sit back and think that it's pretty damn crazy that I managed to go through both high school and college without making a single friend. I don't even know how it happened. I was always just so shy and quiet and I never put myself out there. Even in college, I would just stay in my dorm room by myself all the time and I would just go home on the weekends, cause my parents house was only about an hour away.

So, I am grateful that I have a job, but I really wish I had friends or a significant other. My dog is my best friend and all I do after work every day is just come home and watch TV and go online.

 

[EscapeArtist]

I am so sorry EscapeArtist about your struggle not having a job yet. Hope you find something. But I can totally understand it is really scary for you It's a big step, and yeah you need money, but if it really does not work out, can you get a payment like I have? I know in Holland the health care is really good, you can get payment, if you don't work, have a disorder, what so ever. I don't know about your country? But still I really hope you can get to work, since you will gain experience in the work field and I think that really will give you a nice boost, you will meet new people at your job to interact with, so that could be nice to get friends, you can get money of course which is attractive ha ha, you can maybe buy nice stuff, so look at the positive sides. All though it is freakingly big step I know.. I really pray for you, that you find something nice and that the time being will be good when you are in your job.

I dropped out at a college, I won't call the name because I rather don't want my classmates to read this haha, but uhm, it was a school here in the region and I was studying Computer Sciences, I liked it very much, I was one of the best students is what my mentor said, but yet I was too anxious for the intern-ship part, working at a company, with customers, I always froze up. But yet the boss was also stupid since he said, Sas, just game, and that's not a motivated work place.....

But hey, I examined all the subjects, so basically i'm all good, but the only thing left is a half year of internship where I am obligated to not cancel everyweek, what I did, that's the reason I dropped out :crying:

Online classes seems so awesome, wish I could join that school too, what kind of online class is it?

Yeah we drop outs have nothing to report to the people whom ask what we do. It sucks hey, but that's why this tread should be the ultimate support topic.

Thanks for your nice reply, have a good day

Hey Falkor, thank you for the good wishes and prayers, I am sending them back to you! Yes, there is the option of applying for disability here. But I'd rather attempt until I'm out of options, you know? Like you said, it's a good experience to keep trying. I worry if getting on disability will stunt my motivation to look for a steady job ever, too, and keep me rather complacent.
I really could use the money, friends, and all that stuff

It sucks that they have that internship as a requirement! How difficult, but it's so good that you tried. And you have done your classes so you can always try again. Take it slow, maybe just try and get a little farther than you did last time if you really want to get through it... It sounds like you really like that field and are good at it so I hope you are able to get through it! I bet it's such a pain to deal with people all the time in the internship but you seem really friendly so I can't see how people would negatively judge you.

I'm still completing highschool so the online course is biology 12, it's a course where I do all the work online and only have to show up at the school 4 times for 4 tests. It's so quick and easy! I'm doing well in it finally, again where I left off.

 

[S_Spartan]

I'm 41, unemployed and no degree. I do a little consulting work and have a micro-business on "the side"(can you really say that when you are unemployed?) so I do have a little money coming in but for my age I'm WAYYYY behind. This causes me much depression.
It's been 50% anxiety/depression/OCD/SA and 50% bad luck that has held me back so much in my life.
As I'm sure many here know, just fighting your demons everyday is like a full time job and it's only been these past few years that I've made any headway as far as they are concerned.
Right now the hardest thing for me to accept is the unfairness of life. It seems to nurture some people along while giving other people roadblocks. Dealing with roadblocks has made me a tougher person and I can tell this when I talk to people who have "breezed" through life thus far. They live in some other reality than I do. But I still have so far to go. It's hard.

 

[rosewood]

Falkor, thank you for posting this. I almost flunked out of High School and then meandered and slunk my way through college, let's see 3 times, and this year if i can get in again, it will be my fourth time. It is so weird trying to explain to people why my grades are so low. But over time I can see a gradual change = the grade point average goes up. My SA interfered with my ability to respond to the teacher in class or even to talk to other students about the work. But I am fighting it. It is so difficult to try to explain to others what it means. I have a twin brother who to this day still does not have any comprehension of what i am experiencing. Right now, I am looking for work. I am worried about the past 10 years employment gaps....

 

[S_Spartan]

Falkor, thank you for posting this. I almost flunked out of High School and then meandered and slunk my way through college, let's see 3 times, and this year if i can get in again, it will be my fourth time. It is so weird trying to explain to people why my grades are so low. But over time I can see a gradual change = the grade point average goes up. My SA interfered with my ability to respond to the teacher in class or even to talk to other students about the work. But I am fighting it. It is so difficult to try to explain to others what it means. I have a twin brother who to this day still does not have any comprehension of what i am experiencing. Right now, I am looking for work. I am worried about the past 10 years employment gaps....

I hear ya Rosewood! I now have a 13 year employment gap. Yikes! I'm kind of glad to be an only child so I don't have a sibling to make comparisons to. That has to be tough.

 

[cowboyup]

How I relish in my 'non accomplishments' at times. I'm 43, unemployed and still working on getting a degree (at this point I don't know what field) but have been picking away at it since 1997. It's mostly been online. Though SA has a good chunk to do with my procrastination/dragging my heels, my family (hate to bring them into it) but they had me quit school to take care of my siblings, my father was druggie/alcoholic and mom was always working/ then slipped into deep depression. So, I kind of had to watch my siblings and take care of my parents so there was no time left to take care of me so now I am playing catch up. And at age 43, it's really not fun.

But I am stubborn - I keep trying!