This is a great thread falkor, thanks for starting it.
I'm 41, unemployed and no degree. I do a little consulting work and have a micro-business on "the side"(can you really say that when you are unemployed?) so I do have a little money coming in but for my age I'm WAYYYY behind. This causes me much depression.
It's been 50% anxiety/depression/OCD/SA and 50% bad luck that has held me back so much in my life.
As I'm sure many here know, just fighting your demons everyday is like a full time job and it's only been these past few years that I've made any headway as far as they are concerned.
Right now the hardest thing for me to accept is the unfairness of life. It seems to nurture some people along while giving other people roadblocks. Dealing with roadblocks has made me a tougher person and I can tell this when I talk to people who have "breezed" through life thus far. They live in some other reality than I do. But I still have so far to go. It's hard.
I can relate to your post. I have a side business as well, but i earn peanuts basically. i know about having bad luck too, my life has just been a series of unfortunate events from the day i was born. the unfairness makes me so angry, but who can i blame? i guess that's why i blame myself.
Back to the topic...
At present i have no degree and no job.
i've had severe anxiety problems from preschool and each year it just got worst. by the time i ended high school, i was an emotional wreck. some really bad things happened in high school, and i think most people in my position would have quit school or would have gone to another school. but not me. i carried on, and my anxiety got worst. i knew my parents wouldn't listen to my problems and wouldn't even accept the fact that i was suffering. so i went on like nothing was wrong, and all the while i was developing extreme OCD. i barely got my high school diploma, and this was due to the severe emotional problems i was suffering from. but i got it, although i knew i could have done a million times better as my marks were not a true reflection of me.
i had to redo maths after high school in order to get into university. i got a much better mark, but my anxiety problems were just getting worst. the next year i got accepted into university, and after one day i knew i wouldn't be able to last a month in this place. i pleaded with my parents that i needed help, but they would not listen, and i wasn't afforded that luxury. so i carried on like i was completely normal just like everyone else, even though my daily demons were getting out of control. by some miracle i passed all my first year courses and all my second year courses. i even had the highest mark in the entire class for my major subject. but this success was only on the surface. deep down i was getting closer to breaking point and in 3rd year i finally cracked.
both physically and emotionally i was finished. in 3rd year my body and mind finally said "we've had enough". and so finally after many years of suffering my parents realised i wasn't making this condition up just to be lazy, and i told them i'm sorry but i just have nothing left. that was in 2006. i thought i would take the next year off to hopefully get better, but believe it or not still to this day i haven't completely recovered from the 8 odd years of studying (high school and university) which ended in 2006.
now i spend my time as a bum at home. i did get accepted for another degree in 2011, but after the a week at orientation i knew i was still far from the level i needed to be, so not to waste more money i didn't end up registering. my desire is to go back to study, but i don't know if that is possible. and as far as a job is concerned, well that seems almost impossible at the moment.
well that's my story.
i hope everyone on here who is finding studying and or getting a job difficult finally gets the luck they deserve in order to be successful and to gain the happiness they want.
