New here

[ApplesauceIsGood]

Hey, so I'm new here, easier to talk in relative anonymity than in person. I'm at the point now, where I'm trying to get rid of essentially all of my friends, especially the ones I have at school. I feel like I function better when I can just go to class, and not have to acknowledge anyone, or talk to anyone. They don't need me, and I'd be better off with no friends, so it all works out.

 

[Srijita52]

Hi, welcome to the forum. I think you should do whatever feels best to you, if you think you'd be better without friends then go for it.

 

[dyingtolive]

hello applesauce welcome to spw

aww well goodluck if that were me id still be as nice as possible...
youre lucky at least u have friends... some people here don't but want them...
i do understand that some peeps are time wasters, so if ur unfortunate enough to be in bad company, good luck

 

[coyote]

Hi, and welcome to the forum.

i like applesauce

 

[market.garden]

Welcome to the forum

 

[B.Maria]

Hello, I'm new to this forum too, and its sounds like you are in a similar place to me. Ive only just got to the point where I can be honest with my self and say that I don't need or want friends in my life. I just function better without them.

Its nice to hear Im not alone with this choice

 

[ApplesauceIsGood]

Hello, I'm new to this forum too, and its sounds like you are in a similar place to me. Ive only just got to the point where I can be honest with my self and say that I don't need or want friends in my life. I just function better without them.

Its nice to hear Im not alone with this choice

It is also nice to see that I'm not alone in the choice...

None of my friends know about this plan yet, but I've deactivated facebook and downloaded an app for my phone which blocks texts from them. I figure the summer is a good time to do it. I'll just cut off communication with them. By the time school starts again and I'll have to see them, they'll hopefully have gotten the idea.

These aren't even bad people I'm trying to get rid of or anything, I'd really just rather be without the stress of friends. My entire program at school is fairly close, due to the small size and field courses we've been on, so we all know each other pretty well. I'd also like to not speak to those people either. I miss the days of invisibility at school.

 

[dragonoth]

Hey, Applesauce. I've gone through this and it's not as good as it feels after a while. You may end up feeling lonely and depressed because nobody comes and talks to you and you feel like you mean nothing to anyone. I believe it's much better for the confidence and spirits if you make the effort to talk to others. This is just my POV but I hope you will take it into consideration at least.

 

[Ignace]

Welcome here.

 

[ApplesauceIsGood]

Hey, Applesauce. I've gone through this and it's not as good as it feels after a while. You may end up feeling lonely and depressed because nobody comes and talks to you and you feel like you mean nothing to anyone. I believe it's much better for the confidence and spirits if you make the effort to talk to others. This is just my POV but I hope you will take it into consideration at least.

I can see what you mean, but at the same time, I kind of feel like I'm just there anyways, so me disappearing to them wont mean much. I went my first 2 years of college knowing no one, and thought it was bad. In third year, I met a bunch of people and have this group of 6 friends. I think they just keep me around to be nice. I'm perfectly fine with sparing them having to be nice to me. I also miss not having to explain things to people. If I didnt show up to class, no one said anything. Didn't do an assignment, never heard a thing.

And the depression thing was/is there regardless of whether I had friends or not.

 

[MikeyC]

Welcome to the forum.

I dislike apple sauce, however.

 

[coyote]

Porkchops & Applesauce - YouTube

 

[dragonoth]

I can see what you mean, but at the same time, I kind of feel like I'm just there anyways, so me disappearing to them wont mean much. I went my first 2 years of college knowing no one, and thought it was bad. In third year, I met a bunch of people and have this group of 6 friends. I think they just keep me around to be nice. I'm perfectly fine with sparing them having to be nice to me. I also miss not having to explain things to people. If I didnt show up to class, no one said anything. Didn't do an assignment, never heard a thing.

And the depression thing was/is there regardless of whether I had friends or not.

Think of it this way - should people be made responsible for asking about your absence? You misplace the assumption that they just don't care about you but they also have their own problems and lives to deal with. They probably think you just wanted to skive if anything and skiving is not really a big deal so they won't ask you about it. And trust me when I say that if your friends keep you around it's because they like you and not because they're just being nice. Nobody can be that fake for a lengthy amount of time unless you were stinkin' rich. If they were pitying you by being nice to you they would have long left you behind by now. Take their friendship for what it really is or you'll miss out on so many things just because you perceive your friends to be a pity party for you.

 

[ApplesauceIsGood]

I actually meant that I don't like it when people ask about my absence. I like being able to miss class without people making me feel guilty about it.

Some of this has to do with one of the friends I actually opened up to losing it on me. I drank a little one night and ended up texting her at 6am, thinking her phone was off, or on silent. Ended up waking her up. She told me how stressful her job was and that I need to able to solve my own problems. She basically told me I was inconsiderate, never thought about her, and that she was my friend, not my therapist. At that point, I wasn't complaining, as I feel like I have pretty much everything figured out. Also, I haven't said anything to her in months, as I knew it stressed her out, I've been really trying to deal with all my problems on my own; as when it comes down to it, I'm really all I've got. I know texting her was all my fault and I shouldn't have done it.

I'll admit that i was inconsiderate to her a few months ago, and I regret all of it. But, I've really tried to not get her involved. Alot of it was that I've never had anyone to open up to ever, and all of what i said was my fault. Around march, i was about as low as someone could possibly get. But at the same time, some of what she said to me is probably why I'm still alive now.

This is all why I feel like their lives would be better off without someone like me around weighing them down

 

[dragonoth]

You're looking into it too much and you're focusing only on the negative. If you have caused someone stress or hurt, you shouldn't disregard your own feelings and worth over it. You also matter. There will always be moments when you may upset someone, but at the same time there will always be plenty of other moments when you make others laugh or smile or just plain content too. Other friends/couples fall out all the time with each other but it doesn't mean any of them are bad people, right?

 

[B.Maria]

I'm happy not having friends too. However I have colleagues/acquaintances at college, which works better. That way I have people to talk to in class, but it ends there. We don't text or meet up outside of college. I think its really because we are all very anti-social/social phobic. Just saying that perhaps that setup would work for you too?

 

[InvisaLady]

I gave up on freinds in the 6th grade, all they ever did was stab me in the back, talk crap about me and just treat me like **** in general.

 

[Rawz]

Welcome to the forum, ApplesauceIsGood!

I haven't had any friends in 5 years. I would like to have some though. Currently though I struggle to much with being around people and talking to them, focus to much on myself and negative things, and am too gullible. I don't think I am ready to have friends. Hopefully one day though.

 

[Ashiene]

Hey, so I'm new here, easier to talk in relative anonymity than in person. I'm at the point now, where I'm trying to get rid of essentially all of my friends, especially the ones I have at school. I feel like I function better when I can just go to class, and not have to acknowledge anyone, or talk to anyone. They don't need me, and I'd be better off with no friends, so it all works out.

Thats what I thought, until I realised I had no help, no support, no encouragement when I needed them most.