My friend is tellying everyone about my SA
- Thread starter warp
- Start date
twiggle
Well-known member
That's an absolutely disgusting thing for a friend to do - regardless of whether or not you had an argument.
It is horrible that he is telling others, but if these people are decent they won't judge you for having SA. I can understand that you may feel ashamed but try to accept your SA. You have it, but it doesn't make you a bad person and nor would others necessarily think so.
Use the situation to stand tall against your SA and do yourself the world of good in the process. Think to yourself, "Yes I have SA, but at least I don't go round trying to hurt others".
Show that you're the bigger and better person and if people can't see that then its their loss.
It is horrible that he is telling others, but if these people are decent they won't judge you for having SA. I can understand that you may feel ashamed but try to accept your SA. You have it, but it doesn't make you a bad person and nor would others necessarily think so.
Use the situation to stand tall against your SA and do yourself the world of good in the process. Think to yourself, "Yes I have SA, but at least I don't go round trying to hurt others".
Show that you're the bigger and better person and if people can't see that then its their loss.
DespairSoul
Well-known member
Hello warp,
I'm sorry to hear that your friend betrayed u in so bad way. It's really horrible. But u know what?
Revenge will bring u no where this i can tell u for sure. Show him u can act better as he does to
you. Acceptance of yourself is the key. U are how u are and he is how he is. I bet this arguing
was also for some silly thing and he must feel actually very bad if he have need go around and
say to everyone about your SA. I think he feel even worse as u do. Surprise? Yes i know!
Often people which go around with rumors are insecure and sensitive by them self. I think this
arguing between you and him touches him more as u can think. Try focus on real friends. He
wasn't one believe me. Also age is important? How old is he? Because teenagers can sometimes
do silly stuff with out thinking (now i don't try insult young people everyone of us in young age did
some mistake or some dunno stuff right?) Focus now on your self and try pretend like nothing going
on. Sa have a lot of people is nothing u have to be ashamed off!
I'm sorry to hear that your friend betrayed u in so bad way. It's really horrible. But u know what?
Revenge will bring u no where this i can tell u for sure. Show him u can act better as he does to
you. Acceptance of yourself is the key. U are how u are and he is how he is. I bet this arguing
was also for some silly thing and he must feel actually very bad if he have need go around and
say to everyone about your SA. I think he feel even worse as u do. Surprise? Yes i know!
Often people which go around with rumors are insecure and sensitive by them self. I think this
arguing between you and him touches him more as u can think. Try focus on real friends. He
wasn't one believe me. Also age is important? How old is he? Because teenagers can sometimes
do silly stuff with out thinking (now i don't try insult young people everyone of us in young age did
some mistake or some dunno stuff right?) Focus now on your self and try pretend like nothing going
on. Sa have a lot of people is nothing u have to be ashamed off!
despairsoul, he is 21 so no victim at all, Im thinking what I should do : beat him up ? his car on fire
Im so angry !!! I can shoot him almost dead . 8 hours later and still can not thinking about it saw it on msn of friend of mine and just my friend that he was just to tellying nonsense about the anxiety disorder .
can't stop thinking about it need to take revenge arrggh
Im so angry !!! I can shoot him almost dead . 8 hours later and still can not thinking about it saw it on msn of friend of mine and just my friend that he was just to tellying nonsense about the anxiety disorder .
can't stop thinking about it need to take revenge arrggh
DespairSoul
Well-known member
21? Well this is age where he could think more adult. Because to me is this what he did childish. Common i know u aren't serious about burning car,shooting, beat him up?
U will actually agree with his rumor that way and yet feel bad what u done. Try not obsess
about it what he done to u. I know is hard but only u are the one who can do it.
So you do something mean back to him. Then he does something else mean to you, and you two snipe at each other whenever possible. You both end up with more damage and you also both end up looking like dicks to everyone else. That's revenge. Good luck with that.
Phoenixx
Well-known member
That's a super crappy thing for a "friend" to do. And the fact that he's 21 and doing this sort of thing, now that's just ridiculous and immature. I understand your anger, but getting revenge on him isn't going to help either. All I can really say is let it go. Sure, you have SA, but I highly doubt that half the people he's telling it to are going to judge you because of it. If someone asks, just go ahead and admit it. Accept yourself.
Well right now I know this is of no help at all but I always say in topics here that you should not tell anyone that you have anything,usually people dont agree with me or I am alone in saying this,but some will think its nothing at all,you are a child,attention seeker,could take advantage of you,think you are a drama queen and etc,the risks outweight the pros in my opinion,most people are just out there to look after themselves,so yes they will use anything they can.
Hottie
Well-known member
Well said
.................
First i want to say - that was rotten of your friend to use that against you and im really sorry you now have this sh*t to deal with...
I have told most of my good friends about SA and how much it effects myself and my life. They dont not judge or make me feel any less of a person. If anything, they are more understanding of my current situation...(however small of an understanding, they try!!).
But if your friends are truely your friends, it shouldnt matter for you. Unless your friends are cruel individuals (and i guess one 'firend' is)
However cruel one may be, i think that people generally wont care so much as you think. I am slowly learning that SA is nothing to be ashamed of. I was actully surprised at how the reacted me to telling them..................they didnt!
I think people are too wrapped up in their own life to say or do anything towards you regarding SA. If they did, just say "yeah, so what"...and move on.
As well, people without SA dont realise what SA really is...so IMO, for that reason it wont be such a big deal for them.
What i say is if he was thinking telling people was going to hurt you and stab you in the back - it may have worked - in the sence of how you reacted. If you react differently to things we cannot change then we will begin to feel differently about it too.... Make any sence?
So try not act in a way in which you are sad, upset, angey etc. and you will get thru this okay. Obviously it is nature to feel these feelings about what happened, but what i am tring to get accros will be better explained by this quote:
"it is not events or situations that make us feel happy or say, it is how we reactt to those events and situations that matters"
- can you see wat i mean?
P.S. I highy believe that - what comes around goes around...
1. Distance yourself from him, stopping any altercation.
2. Move on mentally or you with be playing the senario over and over in your head and making things worse for yourself.
3. One thing may come out of it from the people he has told and one of those people may be struggling aswell and know to come to you.
2. Move on mentally or you with be playing the senario over and over in your head and making things worse for yourself.
3. One thing may come out of it from the people he has told and one of those people may be struggling aswell and know to come to you.
Hey Warp, sorry to hear about it.
I tell people to be careful who they tell things to too... It may be good to tell some people and they may have a reaction like Hottie said (no reaction) and other people, hmm?
How long way back do you go with this 'friend'? Sorry to say, but 21 is still very young and some people can still be very immature at that age.. Okay, some people can still be immature in their 30s or 40s or 50s too or 60+ (or again), yikes...
What was the argument about? Can you 'fix' it somehow? Was it something really important or just rather obscure/unimportant/irrelevant (maybe because you were both stressed or angry at something else...?) Things that seem 'really important' at 21, sometimes aren't.
Also, did you specifically tell him not to tell anyone? Some people may forget in 'the heat of the moment' too..
If you did, you could still post something about how being shy and trustworthy/being able to keep a secret is better... (?)
I bet you'd like to send him to the moon right now yup.. Wonder if it's worth any time in jail or such tho, yup..
What exactly is he saying on msn - on his profile statement that you have SA - or anyth worse/more belittling?
If he just says you have SA - so what? Put it on your msn profile too: I have SA: SO AWESOME SYNDROME!! Or something like that??
Try to play it off as a joke??
S = SEXY
O = OPENMINDED
C = CUTE
I = IMPRESSIVE
A = AWESOME
L = LOVELY
A = AMAZING
N = NINJA
X = XTRAORDINARY!
I = IMAGINATIVE
E = EMBRACING ENTERTAINING ELUSIVE (help me think of even better stuff!!)
T = TOLERANT TRUE TRUSTWORTHY
Y = YES!
That's what most people on this forum ARE!!
A lot of wo/men like cute shy guys/girls better than too outgoing jerks!!
So just yeah wear it proudly!!
Maybe he's just jealous if a girl likes you better or something like that?? (Or if you have better grades etc - many ppl with SA are more intelligent and may have better grades because well, they take more time to actually study etc..) Orelse, just focus on your goals: what you DO want to achieve... success in career etc. (So that he'll be jealous later: that's the best revenge, sorta!!)
Also, you can work on your sa so you'll improve - via online program or books or counselling..
You could also post links or photos of awesome famous people with SA, and what their accomplishments were! Depends what you do or what career you want, google a bit?
There are rumors online even Eminem might have (had?) social anxiety??
Next time just be careful about who you trust and take time to get to know people better before telling them stuff like that...
I tell people to be careful who they tell things to too... It may be good to tell some people and they may have a reaction like Hottie said (no reaction) and other people, hmm?
How long way back do you go with this 'friend'? Sorry to say, but 21 is still very young and some people can still be very immature at that age.. Okay, some people can still be immature in their 30s or 40s or 50s too or 60+ (or again), yikes...
What was the argument about? Can you 'fix' it somehow? Was it something really important or just rather obscure/unimportant/irrelevant (maybe because you were both stressed or angry at something else...?) Things that seem 'really important' at 21, sometimes aren't.
Also, did you specifically tell him not to tell anyone? Some people may forget in 'the heat of the moment' too..
If you did, you could still post something about how being shy and trustworthy/being able to keep a secret is better... (?)
I bet you'd like to send him to the moon right now yup.. Wonder if it's worth any time in jail or such tho, yup..
What exactly is he saying on msn - on his profile statement that you have SA - or anyth worse/more belittling?
If he just says you have SA - so what? Put it on your msn profile too: I have SA: SO AWESOME SYNDROME!!
Or something like that??Try to play it off as a joke??
S = SEXY
O = OPENMINDED
C = CUTE
I = IMPRESSIVE
A = AWESOME
L = LOVELY
A = AMAZING
N = NINJA
X = XTRAORDINARY!
I = IMAGINATIVE
E = EMBRACING ENTERTAINING ELUSIVE (help me think of even better stuff!!)
T = TOLERANT TRUE TRUSTWORTHY
Y = YES!
That's what most people on this forum ARE!!
A lot of wo/men like cute shy guys/girls better than too outgoing jerks!!
So just yeah wear it proudly!!
Maybe he's just jealous if a girl likes you better or something like that?? (Or if you have better grades etc - many ppl with SA are more intelligent and may have better grades because well, they take more time to actually study etc..) Orelse, just focus on your goals: what you DO want to achieve... success in career etc. (So that he'll be jealous later: that's the best revenge, sorta!!)
Also, you can work on your sa so you'll improve - via online program or books or counselling..
You could also post links or photos of awesome famous people with SA, and what their accomplishments were! Depends what you do or what career you want, google a bit?
There are rumors online even Eminem might have (had?) social anxiety??
Next time just be careful about who you trust and take time to get to know people better before telling them stuff like that...
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LonelyWonders
Well-known member
21? Well this is age where he could think more adult. Because to me is this what he did childish. Common i know u aren't serious about burning car,shooting, beat him up?
U will actually agree with his rumor that way and yet feel bad what u done. Try not obsess
about it what he done to u. I know is hard but only u are the one who can do it.
More adult? At 21? I've never met a 21 year old even slightly mature..