move out or not?

[doubleM]

just need advice.
living at home is making me miserable and i feel i need to get out. im 29 and ive been here long enough. to sum it up my parents are causing me stress that is contributing to my depression and anxiety.
here i spend most of my time shut up in my room alone. i have no friends in this town.
my cousin and his friends offered to let me move in with them at an apartment. but the problem is they are stoners. theyre decent guys, we have alot in common, and we get along. its just being around that bothers me. smoking weed is not my thing. neither is drinking.
what they do is their business. as long as they pay the rent its ok. the weed thing does bother me some.
the thing is if i dont take this oppurtunity to move out i might be stuck here for along time. id rather it be with my cousin than someone i dont know, thats uncomfortable for me. if i dont take these guys as roomates who am i gonna take? theres no one else. ive gotta get out here!!!

i have 2 choices: 1. stay home, with my irritating parents, drive an hour to school. or 2. move out with some friends, meet new people, party, have fun. be closer to the college.

whats your opinion?

 

[Pookah]

I moved out when I was around 20. I live with my brother so I think you will find still living with a family member is some comfort. People your own age will let you be yourself more. I think you will have more room to stretch and improve if you find another stable place to live.

 

[Feathers]

I'd say move out, the 'stoners' thing made me change my mind though...
Can you move in with someone else who does not do drugs? Any classmates or friends or other relatives? Just one might be enough?

Sorry, I had some friends who smoked pot a lot and really hated it... Also, are there 'ground rules' like only smoking on the balcony or in a certain room and not in all places like kitchen, living room, etc? Is there a place where they can hang the dirty-smelling clothes or would you have to smell'em in your room?

And honestly, I had better luck living with total strangers than with people I knew from before...
People who smoke and drink coffee/real tea a lot may also be really tense and use weed to 'calm down'.. Had a roommate like that and it was very stressful, living with her.. Didn't last long.. I knew her from before, and honestly I got along with other roommates who I didn't know before better... (I just knew they would be non-smokers)

Also, my sis got addicted to coffee from her roommates/flatmates.. Don't want to see you get addicted to anything either!!

 

[vj288]

i have 2 choices: 1. stay home, with my irritating parents, drive an hour to school. or 2. move out with some friends, meet new people, party, have fun. be closer to the college.

Sounds like you already made up your mind. I wouldn't worry about pot/drinking thing, you can always leave when they're doing it or hide out in your room if you like (you'll probably get used to it, same people just acting different).

So I say MOVE!

 

[EscapeArtist]

I say move out! Because if it damages you more, you can always move back. But moving out kind of forces you to get out more, too, because you are less dependent for everything. You say that your family is a huge trigger for your problems, definitely move out. I see this as a way to step out of your comfort zone. That is something we all need, a little bit of risk. Go for it! And let us know how it goes.
Do you have a job? Of course, you're going to have to get one if not. (If you don't, that is some good exposure).
Try not to party too much though.. With alcohol I mean. When you are out of your comfort zone, it is easy to get caught up in alcohol.
Goodluck!!

 

[Pacific_Loner]

The answer is obvious.

 

[Hastings & Main]

If you don't pick moving out, most likely you'll end up with the big What if?, or Would've Should've Could've set of haunting questions. Go for it!
And don't fall prey to the 'bad decision' feeling we can get when making a big choice like that - let it ride until you feel comfortable with the surroundings.

 

[Richey]

I wouldn't move in with people who were heavy drinkers or smoked weed, no chance unless i 100% how they reacted to it and even then i'd be cautious about it...

moving out, i know what you mean, i could probably just afford it but worry that i may lose my job half way through the rental lease which is disastrous because if that happens you still have to pay the rest of the lease even if you have no job, it may not be a problem and i may find some other job quickly but it just scares me which is why maybe one other person renting with me would be a bit of security for me and the other person.

I can't take living with parents anymore only because they are way too condescending and grumpy all the time,
good luck.

 

[kihira]

This would be a good first step away from parents, don't shut that door though, in case it doesn't work out. I lasted 11 days with my first move out of home at 17.

 

[DespairSoul]

Hey,

Is obvious. I believe with parents you feel irritated but other option what u write i too dont see for long lasting future. Specialy with Sa or with whatever u are struggling. U can be easy influetend of them and this can start turn i way wich will not help your situation as well. My advice is move on and if will be not going well u will just go back home. U earn some experience and u will know what is for you better. Maybe u can try go on begin to them and later look around for other place? Because bussiness with weed and alkohol isnt much good for u if u have issues now,will get only worse with that.

 

[Luke1993]

If you don't pick moving out, most likely you'll end up with the big What if?, or Would've Should've Could've set of haunting questions. Go for it!

THIS. I couldn't have said it better myself! I think you should do this, and if it doesn't work out no real loss right?

Make sure you tell us what happens!