Loyal's Thoughts

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?


I bought this cute outfit for my future brother. There was a ton of cool nightmare before christmas stuff at Big W but just about everything I wanted sold out virtually instantly. Damn covid shoppers 😂
I want one.. man size 😆
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
In a bad place. Another dog fight broke out, one of my dogs got hurt so bad she almost needed surgery and Im left with no other choices for the one who attacked. I'll have one last night with her and its killing me. I know its the only choice left and its the kindest option for her but it fucking hurts so much
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
In a bad place. Another dog fight broke out, one of my dogs got hurt so bad she almost needed surgery and Im left with no other choices for the one who attacked. I'll have one last night with her and its killing me. I know its the only choice left and its the kindest option for her but it fucking hurts so much
Are you rehoming her? Is there a place she can go where you could still see her every now and again? It's so hard having to make that decision. I'm sorry you're going through that and I'm sorry your dogs aren't getting along either. It's such a tough situation. ☹️
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
Are you rehoming her? Is there a place she can go where you could still see her every now and again? It's so hard having to make that decision. I'm sorry you're going through that and I'm sorry your dogs aren't getting along either. It's such a tough situation. ☹️

I rang every rescue in a 3 hour range and a couple others, none of them will take her. Most are either too full or dont take big dogs. The rest wont take her because of the reactivity and issues with other animals. I cant afford a trainer coz thats hundreds if not thousands of dollars, and given my living situation I cant even keep them separated coz its just the one room. I cant rehome her myself coz noone I know can take her and I dont know that a stranger would treat her right, would keep her as the only dog. Several of the rescues told me the kindest option would be to put her to sleep, especially if it turns out that she attacks again in future and is put down anyway. Then she's gone through the stress of rehoming for nothing. I've had her since she was 4 weeks old and it kills me to make this call but I have to do whats right. I cant take the chance that she'll attack again, and this time was so bad what if next time is worse, or she kills one of the others, or dads dog who is tiny. What if she attacks the baby when its born.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I rang every rescue in a 3 hour range and a couple others, none of them will take her. Most are either too full or dont take big dogs. The rest wont take her because of the reactivity and issues with other animals. I cant afford a trainer coz thats hundreds if not thousands of dollars, and given my living situation I cant even keep them separated coz its just the one room. I cant rehome her myself coz noone I know can take her and I dont know that a stranger would treat her right, would keep her as the only dog. Several of the rescues told me the kindest option would be to put her to sleep, especially if it turns out that she attacks again in future and is put down anyway. Then she's gone through the stress of rehoming for nothing. I've had her since she was 4 weeks old and it kills me to make this call but I have to do whats right. I cant take the chance that she'll attack again, and this time was so bad what if next time is worse, or she kills one of the others, or dads dog who is tiny. What if she attacks the baby when its born.
That's so sad, I'm so sorry Loyal. I wish there was another way around this for you and her. Is she also reactive to other people? I really understand the fear. If it wasn't for my in-laws agreeing to take in our senior beagle last fall, we would've had to put her down too. There was no way after what happened we could have both her and Willow living together. Because of her age and her cognitive dysfunction causing more snappy behavior, I don't trust her around any animals anymore, nor children unattended. Thankfully when the grandkids do visit over there once in a while, they don't bother her and she just simply says hi to everyone with a sniff and a tail wag and goes off to sleep on her bed. But visiting is one thing. I am very nervous what will happen next month because my sister-in-law and her whole family (w/ 4 kids under the age of 6) are moving back in while their house gets worked on and there's no definitive time when they'll move back out. They also have 2 dogs, but I don't even know where they're taking them because there's no way in hell both the dogs are moving in too with her around as she most definitely would cause a fight. I just hope this whole situation isn't going to stress her out so much that she's going to start turning on the kids. She's been good thus far as far as her snappy behavior goes and hasn't had any outbursts, but if anything happens I'm also prepared to say goodbye.

Trainers are not cheap either, so I feel you there too. Paying for training this year with Willow, she did really well, and I absolutely loved the guy that worked with us and with her, but I chose not to do another round of training with her because of the cost. We just work on the exercises we learned in our lessons out in public when we have the time to take her out and about. I've learned to accept that she'll always have a sense of timidness about her with most people, she'll always be reactive to an extent, and I don't think she'll ever get along with most dogs again since her trauma (they have to be really submissive and laid back types for her to accept them and want to be interested now). I would love to own another dog, but I know I'll never be able to with her.

Again, this whole situation sucks and I'm really sorry. :( I know you have to do what's right, I just wish there was another answer for the both of you.
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
I've been trying to stay distracted as much as I can, anytime I find myself alone and in too quiet a moment I lose myself in the pain. I know I'll get used to her absence and the loss but it doesnt make this bit any easier to bear. Im glad I still have my other two dogs though, I'd be in an even more broken state if I didnt have them
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
Trying to hold things together as best I can. Its a little easier now that I have her ashes home with me. Closure I guess. I know its always gonna hurt, but I guess I'm starting to accept it all.

I've gotten a temporary job, just for the xmas season. Its a Santa Photographer job. Im dreading it but I desperately need the money, especially after the vet bills recently and with the upcoming vet bills/xmas season/car rego/general life expenses bullshit that keeps occuring. Plus its a bit of photography experience to put on my resume. Im a little concerned that when I get to the store they'll actually fire me for having tattoos coz the training presentation said no visible tattoos- But the actual company Im employed by didnt have an issue with them, its just the store that has hired us that has the issue so Im not sure how that'll play out. Im not gonna say anything and just hope they dont notice/its too late for them to replace me and so I get to stay on. Idk, we'll just have to see how that plays out. I dont start for another 3 and a half weeks or so so Im trying to not think about it until then. Deal with things as they come one at a time as much as possible.

I finally managed to make myself do some cleaning today, it'd been a disgustingly long time since I'd been able to do any of it so Im really glad I got so much of it done, I just gotta do the washing loads tomorrow and then I'll have done everything I set out to get done with the cleaning.

Also for the last two months or so I've been trying to eat healthier and move more and just generally do better, I've still got a really long way to go but I've lost about 22kgs (48lbs) so I've made a decent start. I'm trying to focus on the progress I've made to help me keep going and to help me get through the bad days
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
Trying to hold things together as best I can. Its a little easier now that I have her ashes home with me. Closure I guess. I know its always gonna hurt, but I guess I'm starting to accept it all.

I've gotten a temporary job, just for the xmas season. Its a Santa Photographer job. Im dreading it but I desperately need the money, especially after the vet bills recently and with the upcoming vet bills/xmas season/car rego/general life expenses bullshit that keeps occuring. Plus its a bit of photography experience to put on my resume. Im a little concerned that when I get to the store they'll actually fire me for having tattoos coz the training presentation said no visible tattoos- But the actual company Im employed by didnt have an issue with them, its just the store that has hired us that has the issue so Im not sure how that'll play out. Im not gonna say anything and just hope they dont notice/its too late for them to replace me and so I get to stay on. Idk, we'll just have to see how that plays out. I dont start for another 3 and a half weeks or so so Im trying to not think about it until then. Deal with things as they come one at a time as much as possible.

I finally managed to make myself do some cleaning today, it'd been a disgustingly long time since I'd been able to do any of it so Im really glad I got so much of it done, I just gotta do the washing loads tomorrow and then I'll have done everything I set out to get done with the cleaning.

Also for the last two months or so I've been trying to eat healthier and move more and just generally do better, I've still got a really long way to go but I've lost about 22kgs (48lbs) so I've made a decent start. I'm trying to focus on the progress I've made to help me keep going and to help me get through the bad days
22kgs?? That's awesome loyal! Well done.

Can you wear a long sleeved shirt to cover your tatts? Or are they in placed that can't be covered?
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
22kgs?? That's awesome loyal! Well done.

Can you wear a long sleeved shirt to cover your tatts? Or are they in placed that can't be covered?
A long sleeve shirt would work but the work uniform is a short sleeve shirt- the uniform is actually hideous, these horrible short overalls, a santa hat with a bell, knee high striped socks, and a bright green shirt. I look like Tweedledee
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
I went to a dentist last week, it wasnt one I'd been to before coz I had a dental voucher that weas about to expire so I just went for closest to me with an available appointment. But she did a terrible job, aside from making me wait for an hour before I went in, the dentist has made my tooth pain worse, the filling she put in has a gap in it along the inner edge of my tooth so its even less protected than before and it hurts like a bitch. I hope the other dentist that Ive gone to before call me back with an appointment slot soon coz Im about ready to start trying to pull it out myself
 
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